see ya later kiddos
i went back and forth with this for a while. i kind of just didn’t want to explain any of it because frankly i don’t owe it to anybody to explain it and i think that’s something i’m learning a lot about in life, the fact that i don’t owe people things. but i think i want to say a little bittle of something. i took down my ao3. half my works were deleted, the other half orphaned. i’m not going to be posting new writing. if i’m posting works, it’ll be anonymously.
this has been something i’ve gone back and forth with for months now, wanting to be done with writing and especially in an environment that gives me anxiety about it. that’s not to say anyone is to blame, you were all incredibly lovely and i really do appreciate all the support and encouragement and criticism throughout. we had a good run. but i’m unfortunately the kind of person who overanalyzes, who overthinks, and cares far too deeply. so i was creating this own little toxic environment within myself where my writing wasn’t good enough or it wasn’t being produced fast enough, and from both those feelings the writing slowed down and hence the cycle continued. i just criticized myself to death and it wasn’t and isn’t worth it.
so yeah. i’ll be gone for a while, if not forever. this might be the end of my writing, it might not. it’ll probably be the end of my writing where i claim it to be my own. i’ll let pieces float into the world, maybe, but yeah.
thank you for all the love and support while it lasted. it really was a fun and incredible time. from the bottom of my heart i send you all my love. maybe when i’ve worked on a lot of my own brain shit i’ll be back to give that love in person. xx. see ya on the flip side.
