As you've probably have noticed, I went away again to no fault but my own. For some reason unknown, I have distanced myself away from my friends and HQ and I deeply regret it. I have let you all down and I have let myself down.
I guess, in some ways, that reason is sort of known. I've been struggling with depression and a lot of anxiety for the past few months, and I have been trying to move on and deal with it but that hasn't been working. I've not only distanced myself from HQ, but I have also distanced myself from my other real life duties, straining the relationships I once had to almost nothing. And, with all that combined, I have lost a lot of interest in roleplaying in the Pokemon fandom as well.
And let me tell you something. It fucking sucks. Especially when you have such great friends and have built up such an amazing group with such awesome mods.
I've done this to HQ a couple of times already, and when I returned I came back with a lousy excuse and a promise to stay, only to break it a few weeks later.
I deeply apologize to everyone, especially Archer and Silver, who I have left alone to take care of HQ in my sudden absence without warning. I've been a terrible leader, but thanks to you too, you have stepped up to run such a wonderful group so beautifully. I'm really greatful I have you to as mods. You too, Diane. You're new, but you know how HQ runs and I'm glad you've helped Archer and Silver. They're lucky to have you.
As for everyone else, old and new, thank you for making HQ what it is today: A wonderful, welcoming group full of amazing people. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
So, I guess from here on out, I make the heart wrenching decision to step down from my role as Petrel Nikolai and as mod of Rocket HQ.
Trust me, this wasn't a decision made lightly. I've thought about this for weeks, back and forth about what I was going to do. Then, I had to be honest with myself. I owe it to myself and to you all.
I may be back. Hopefully. I really want to be back one day. This group is so fucking awesome and I've developed such great friends here that leaving permanently would just make this situation a whole lot worse. Hopefully I can return as a mod as well, but I understand if that is not possible. If I do return, I'll hopefully be able to grab Petrel again.
However, I need to work on myself first and foremost before I can even consider moderating a group or portraying Petrel. I hope you all understand.
I love you all, each and every one of you.
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
germansingergirl
ellievsbear
