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$LAYYYTER
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@politicallyspeaking-blog
Trying to imagine the conversation behind this ad.
"What can we do to get people to notice our campaign?"
"Lay out our candidate's resume?"
"No."
"Expose our opponent's mistakes?"
"No."
"I know! We should have a guy pee on an electric fence!"
"YES!"
"Um. You guys, I was joking."
"Really? Because that's the best idea anyone has had all year."
<crickets>
AAAAANNNNDDD SCENE.
"Mitt, he's gonna be our nominee. We're gonna be behind him. God help us if he doesn't win."
Rick Perry.
Because God is totally running elections.
The "big stick" comment is funny even in context!
Hillary Clinton with her hair down and a beer! Now that is a political-type who is more like us!
Newt Can't Catch A Break
I'm not even sure Newt is still campaigning, but if he is, he's doing it wrong.
Newt took two hours of his schedule to schmooze at the St. Louis Zoo.
The candidate for the Republican presidential nomination sustained a small injury during a visit to the St. Louis Zoo on Friday, where he was getting a two-hour private tour. A Magellanic penguin nipped Gingrich's finger, but the injury only required a Band-Aid, according to the zoo.
Um, Newt, penguins can't actually vote. However, it appears they have spoken.
Ann Romney Speaks Dog
ANN ROMNEY: Once, he– we traveled all the time and he– he ate the turkey on the counter. I mean, he had the runs. But– he would see that crate and, you know, he would, like, go crazy because he was going with us on vacation. It was to me a kinder thing to bring him along than to leave him in the kennel for t– in– in– in a kennel for two weeks, so.
I'm not sure how she knows that a dog going crazy before being loaded into a crate and strapped on the roof of the car is a dog loving life.
I have a dog and he happens to go crazy and wag his tail when stormy weather is coming. Then, he quietly sneaks off to a part of the house out of my line of vision to poop.
I'm pretty sure that's not his idea of showing he's having a good time. Maybe rich people's dogs don't speak the same language as my dog?
"Five boys is a handful, trust me. Raising George Walker was not easy."
Barbara Bush.
L-O-V-E her!
Let's Take A Ride On The Crazy Train
Apparently, Rep. Allen West is the captain on the crazy train. Not only does he think the President of the United States is scared of him (um, he has Joe Biden's teeth and a fleet of Secret Service agents - pretty sure he's NOT scared of anyone), but he also made this crazy claim:
He later said "he's heard" up to 80 U.S. House Democrats are Communist Party members, but wouldn't name names.
What do they put in the water in Florida to get people to elect candidates who make insane statements without ever backing them up? Name names or stop the fear mongering. It's really getting old.
How did this creepy bunny get past the Secret Service?
Oh, Sure - It's The Phone's Fault
I love when old guys in politics think they're being hip (their word, not mine) by getting on Twitter and cranking out posts in 140 characters or less. I do not love when they blame the technology for their mistakes.
“I don’t use a computer. I rely on my Blackberry and now my iPhone for everything I need. The iPhone has been a little bit of a learning curve, but I’m starting to get the hang of it.”
Also, Sen. Chuck grassley, you can't blame your phone for calling the president stupid. That's ALL you.
Here's how you get the geek vote.
War On Women?
Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus was on a rhetorical roll Thursday. In an interview with Bloomberg TV set to air this weekend, Priebus said the so-called “war on women” is a Democratic fabrication perpetuated by the media, as frivolous as a “war on caterpillars.”
RIIIIIGHT.
Then why is the GOP all up in my uterus and how I use it?
When run for a state education board member position, it's best to run your flyers through spell check and make sure you're using the correct words before sending them out.
Maybe Rick Santorum wasn't going to use the "N" word? Maybe he was going to call President Obama a nincompoop?
Rick Santorum's Latest Enemy: PINK BALLS
It's true.
"friends don't let friends use pink balls."
He's talking about bowling balls (I think).
It's like this guy has never Googled his name.
“So every time they would start playing ‘On Wisconsin, on Wisconsin,’ my dad’s political people would jump up and down and try to get them to stop, because they didn’t want people in Michigan to be reminded that my dad had moved production to Wisconsin."
For some reason, Mitt Romney finds that whole story about his dad putting people out of work to be hilarious.
Oh, rich people!
Mitt Romney Is SO Like Main Street
If Main Street is a place much like Boardwalk on Monopoly.
At Mitt Romney’s proposed California beach house, the cars will have their own separate elevator.
There’s also a planned outdoor shower and a 3,600-square foot basement — a room with more floor space than the existing home’s entire living quarters.
So, think about that when you see Mitt in his dad jeans telling folks he totally relates to them. He obviously thinks we're all like him.
And I am. I just have to win tonight's Mega Millions jackpot a about 5 times.