AnasAbdin
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Discoholic 🪩
wallacepolsom
if i look back, i am lost
Show & Tell
pixel skylines
d e v o n
ellievsbear
DEAR READER
Stranger Things
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
we're not kids anymore.
#extradirty
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@ponderouswhims
Hello plural tumblr 👋
Decided to dip our toes in here a bit since twitter has been getting rather slow.
We're an endogenic system of 2 & looking for cool plural accounts to follow!
We are radically inclusive, curious about other experiences, and particularly interested in disability justice.
Tell us a bit about yourselves, let us know your favorite plural accts on here, and/or reblog this post to help us find more folks to follow!
anyone else like it when bi men
neurodivergencies* are just as physical as other disabilities. why are changes in your brain, nerves, gut, hormones, senses, and energy levels only considered physical if they're caused by literally anything else? have we considered that the separation of the mind from the rest of the body is just a way of minimizing and othering ND people?
*neurodivergent refers to people with mental illnesses, developmental and intellectual disabilities, and other neurological conditions.
This is also the exact same attitude that leads to people saying "if you say your mental illness makes you unable to brush your teeth/take a shower/engage with hobbies/etc then you're just lazy anti-recovery and it's your fault that you're still mentally ill because you don't actually want to get better and aren't bothering to try. Of course you can't cure mental illness with willpower, but don't you know that if you Work Hard Enough (Tm) at being Normal and Healthy (Tm) the willpower you put into curing your mental illness will work?"
Like, you can't fix chronic illness or physical disabilities with lifestyle changes and effort either. But because neurodivergence is treated as abnormalities and sicknesses of an abstract "mind", rather than the concrete physical brain, it must be TOTALLY possible to overcome it just with "self-care" alone because obviously you're just unhealthy because you've made your body and environment bad for your soul.
(It's not as if corpoableism doesn't have a similar issue with blaming people for their own sickness. Speaking from experience, it's a huge issue. But in my experience even disabled people who recognize that this is ableist and bad and just wrong at a literal level of how things work will still turn around and perpetuate the neuroableism form.)
Also, none of this is saying self-care NEVER helps with mental illness, since I know this will be taken in the worst faith possible. It's saying that it's not someone's fault if their DISABILITY DISABLES them from doing the things that would otherwise help with their disability. It's saying that someone is not a bad person who is purposely making their illness worse by accepting that it makes them unable to do some things without (CONSENSUAL) help. It's saying that mental illness CAN in fact make you completely INCAPABLE of doing these things and no amount of motivational poster soundbytes or blaming someone for their own disability is going to magically make them able to suddenly do those things.
(Some of the people saying that it's basically all your fault if you don't just try harder and do the things your neurodisability makes impossible and that you are anti-recovery for acknowledging mental illness as disabling and that you basically deserve your suffering unless you overcome your disabilities and do the the impossible sound like my abusers. I stg.)
Some Musings on Plurality and Mental Health (had a conversation about this earlier today, but we've also been thinking about it generally for a while, so hey, why not, post time) Something that frequently tends to get lost in the noise of discourse but is, imo, actually pretty relevant to system community spaces of all kinds, is the realization that many (I'd venture to say most) systems of any kind, origin, dx, whatever, often have concurrent struggles with mental health issues of one kind or another. Not every system or every person who experiences multiplicity in a significant way has a Textbook Case dissociative disorder (or even a diagnosable dissociative disorder at all, depending on your framework for thinking about what does and does not fall under the scope of the label). But also, that doesn't necessarily mean they aren't dealing with significant mental health challenges: - A lot of systems are queer in one way or another, and many have had to deal with the dangers and insecurity and heartbreak of being queer in our current society. - A lot of systems are autistic/dyslexic/have ADHD/have other kinds of processing differences that have affected many years of their lives, especially if they went through any kind of education system that tried to force their brains into something different, told them they were broken, and facilitated social isolation in one way or another. - A lot of systems, even those without dissociative disorders, have other mental health diagnoses. Depression, anxiety, personality disorders, schizophrenia and related disorders, etc. - A lot of people overall have undergone traumatic experiences in their lives at some point (or multiple points), which we all know have significant aftereffects on mental and emotional health. Also, there's multiple global crises that have been going on for a while, of which the COVID pandemic is just one example, which means a lot of new and exacerbated mental (and physical!) health issues for a lot of people in the last few years. So, what's the relevance of all this?
To us, it's yet another reminder that the idea of an easy division between "disordered system" and "non-disordered system" is frankly illusory. For anyone whose experiences of multiplicity/systemhood/plurality/etc are a significant part of their lives and functioning, that relevance will extend to their struggles with mental health, regardless of whether the mental health issues they're having fall under DID/OSDD or not. Control over switching, new or worsened in-system conflicts, system members being differently impacted by traumatic experiences, degree of dissociative disconnect vs ease of internal communication and memory sharing, system members experiencing and presenting symptoms of mental health issue differently, dysphoria over external-body-vs-internal-self mismatches, increased dissociation overall as a collective coping mechanism.... all of this is stuff that lies at the intersection of any mental health issues and systemhood, potentially, not just "DID/OSDD + its associated classical presentations and etiology". If a parogenic system fell into heavy depression over the quarantine, they might start experiencing more negative dissociative symptoms, and they'd also have to figure out how to navigate the mental health support system (such as it is) while plural. If someone with PTSD from trauma in adulthood decides to look into daemonism for comfort, and finds themselves more and more feeling like a system, they may or may not qualify for DID but they will still be contending with healing-from-trauma-while-a-system. If a system without memory barriers or other apparent issues gets long COVID and has their whole lives upended from new disability, their presentation may start looking more like a dissociative disorder. None of these examples are necessarily exactly the same as having DID or OSDD (...depending on how you define the scope of those diagnostic labels, which is a complicated question all of its own), but they're within a spectrum of related experiences that involve both mental health disorder and plurality in an intertwined way. Which, I guess, is a long way of saying: There is no specific diagnostic category or label that someone has to fit in order to be suffering and need support--and that includes systems as well as singlets.
The whole "trans women can't get periods because they don't have uteruses" terf rhetoric is almost funny to me knowing that male dogs can have false heats and false pregnancies when their bodies produce excess estrogen
to those wondering How someone without a uterus can have a period: it actually has very little to do with the organs! Estrogen is a set of instructions that your body follows. when it's in constant supply at the right levels, your body will start picking out a schedule for when it needs to release a few other hormones, and start squeezing the ever-loving shit out of the MUSCLES that it expects to be around those organs. Remember, bleeding is only a small part of a period. the main symptoms are muscle cramps, pain or discomfort in the lower abdominal area(because of the cramps), irregular bowel movements(because of the cramps), needing to pee more(because of the cramps), bloating, craving specific foods, nausea, and fluctuations in energy levels & nutritional needs. none of that requires a uterus or ovaries; even the bloating is only PARTIALLY from being full of blood.
this is also why cis women born without functioning reproductive systems(i.e. womb is just scar tissue, neither ovary actually works, developed a third kidney instead of a uterus, that kind of thing) can still have periods throughout their life. as long as they're producing lots of estrogen, it's gonna happen!
Can confirm first hand as someone who's had a hysterectomy: I may not bleed anymore, and my cramps are lessened, but it's ll mostly still there every month. I used to be one of those "But how can they have periods without a uterus?" and now that I myself don't have a uterus... oh. Like that. Ok.
Hey uh, fully support the overall point being made here, but can we please stop making blanket statements about which period symptoms are the most major/important ones? Just like, as a general rule?
For some of us, bleeding absolutely is the main symptom, and other stuff is minor or even nonexistent. It's absolutely worthwhile to have a broader understanding of what symptoms can look like, & that bleeding is not the defining trait of a period. But what we really don't need to do is minimize bleeding just so we can replace it with a different standard of what True Periods are.
Every person is different. Symptoms vary and that's ok! Your specific constellation of symptoms doesn't make your period more or less of a period. Bleeding is not required! Cramps are not required!
And at the end of the day, the most important thing: your period (or lack thereof) does not make you more or less of your gender!
I don't think a lot of people realize that lot of their advice to disabled people often boils down to "Get over it." they are trying to be helpful but their idea of helpful is "Just do the thing" because that's what they do. for them they just do things. It comes naturally to just do it.
They don't know how to bridge the gap between you and the task. For them the bridge is already pre-built and stable. For disabled people the bridge is run down, not well kept, it feels unsteady and is hard to get across without being slow and cautious - hell for some people there is no bridge and we need to build it ourselves but we don't have the bridge building tools and no one gives them to us.
"Just cross the bridge." They say before walking over their pre-built bridge. They never gave you the tools to build a bridge to cross.
“Just fly” they say as they spring into the air and fly across the canyon.
You cannot fly. You do not have wings.
i hate the way mental illness is conceptualized in general but specifically on here where there’s this weird focus on disorders defining what symptoms you have rather than disorders being the constructed result of the symptoms that you have, which exist outside of the framework of the disorder
you don’t have to have a specific disorder in order for your symptoms to be real and meaningful or for you to be able to describe your symptoms in certain ways (like, if you feel that “dissociation” describes your experiences, you don’t have to have a disorder that causes dissociation in order for that to be a meaningful way for you to understand your experiences). you don’t need the permission granted by a disorder to experience symptoms
Having adhd is like being stuck in rooms with no exits and then told by neurotypicals i should have just done like them and walked through a door
why does my brain kick and scream like an angry toddler every time i try and do a thing that i need to do
me: come on, time to do laundry
my brain: NOOOOOO DONT WANNA!!! WANNA PLAY GAME!!! WANNA STAY IN BED!!!! DONT WANNA DO CHORE >:( CANT MAKE ME
me, the overtired parent: but we gotta do it brain. we're running out of clothes. come on we gotta go
my brain: WAAAAAAHHHHHHH DONT LIKE YOU >:( YOU BIG MEANIE AND NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE
wait you understand that kinks are ok because they're fantasies that make you happy right? you all get that you don't need to have trauma for your kinks to be okay? right? like none of you think i witnessed a tragic accident on the pool toy assembly line right?
there seems to be some confusion in the notes of this post so just to clarify i'm specifically talking about whatever kink you think is immoral
ohhhhh I get it now. the "gifted kid" discourse exists because people see it fundamentally as a sign of Privilege and not as a largely meaningless category that puffs up weird children before setting them up for the same unremarkable lives as everyone else; thus they interpret people going "the educational system gave me false expectations before ultimately abandoning me to the same heartless world as everyone else" as "why am I, The Main Character, not getting everything I ever wanted."
anyway this is a really great example, imo, of the flawed nature of "privilege" as a framework as opposed to a framework more precisely grounded in questions of class, economic incentives, and ideology
if you're looking at it from a "privilege" point of view then of course Former Gifted Kids are self-obsessed whiners. they got attention and support from the system in a way other people didn't
if you're looking at it from a materialist point of view, that's obviously silly, because none of that "support" actually amounted to anything in the real world. it was illusory. it was people patting themselves on the backs for Supporting A Child's Potential and then completely abandoning them once they were an adult who needed to find a career
as someone who was both in gifted/advanced classes AND special ed, sometimes at the same time, this is 100% correct. being pinned as "gifted" meant jack shit. i got more help/assistance from being in special ed than any of the gifted classes. it's not a privilege, it's a puffed up nothing title that is tossed on children who are then expected to navigate life with puffed up expectations in a world that definitely does not reward hard work lmao
Being gifted is not a privilege, being gifted is a label they slap on kids who are “the good kind” of neurodivergent. It’s an excuse people use for yelling at 8-year-olds for still having the emotional maturity of 8-year-olds when they can spell “ribonucleic acid”
I don't really see people talking about how the "gifted kid" paradigm can make your life harder in the moment
I was recently dxed ADHD as an adult. as a kid the adults called me gifted, bored, and claimed the reason I was depressed af was that I wasn't being challenged enough.
their solution for this? give me more work, more expectations, demand more of my time/energy/focus for schoolwork. it was the opposite of what I needed, and it was hell.
(this is how I lost my love of reading btw)
I was a 'gifted kid,' and my school years absolutely ate me alive.
my cat likes to run up and leap into my pulled-down pants the moment I sit down on the toilet
absolute nonsense thought process from my blendy plural ass today:
hm am I queer enough to engage in this Queer Discourse?
well I'm a bi trans guy so uh yes
ok sure but we're definitely too straight to be here
...but...I'm a guy....who likes guys.....
and too cis also
I'm not cis you're cis
*crickets* (no one else is here)
obviously I'm queer enough
...but am I lesbian enough to be gay
NONE OF US ARE LESBIAN WHAT
"are you normal about" no I am not normal I have never been normal a single day in my life thank you
A reminder I needed today, in case anyone else needs it too:
Having insecurities & doubts about your identity doesn't make you or the identity labels you choose any less real.
Plural? It's super common for systems to be blurry/blendy/mixed up sometimes. Having thoughts, feelings, & experiences at odds with how you view yourself doesn't cancel out the thoughts, feelings, & experiences that led you to that view.
And even without the plural factor: it's ok to be insecure. It's ok to doubt. You can be really truly XYZ and still have doubts & imposter syndrome sometimes. It's ok to change your labels if you decide they don't fit, but having insecurities doesn't mean your labels are wrong.
I have this habit of like, aggressively shutting down insecurity & doubts if they threaten my core sense of self. But you know what? Insecurity is just insecurity. Doubts are just doubts. I'm still me, and I'm allowed to be human too.
The way people will judge disabled people for not committing a hundred percent to any supposedly healthy lifestyle choice... Are we seriously gonna act like the people WITHOUT chronic fatigue aren't skipping the gym all the time? Like the people WITHOUT clinical anxiety don't still struggle to quit the smokes? Like the people WITHOUT chronic pain don't still fail to get out and exercise on a daily basis? Like the person who DOESN'T have an addiction doesn't still drink a bit too much on the weekend? Like the people who DON'T have ADHD don't also struggle to cook a healthy meal every night? So how and why are we expecting the people who ARE in pain, who ARE mentally ill, who ARE fatigued to somehow do a better job than fully abled people? Make it make sense!
this needs more notes
so something that annoys me about the physical vs mental disability binary is that there is at least as much variance within the category of "physical disability" as there is between it & psychiatric disability. like there are AT LEAST 4 broad but distinct categories of disability - off the top of my head, there is: sensory, mobility, psychiatric, & chronic illness.* all of theses categories are similarly distinct, but still have significant areas of overlap with each other (including disabilities that can span multiple categories). there really isn't any single uniting factor that separates psychiatric disability from all other disabilities in a binary way.
("physical disability" is in quotes because yes, the brain is physical, and yes, psychiatric disabilities commonly have physical effects & symptoms. physicality itself does not define a category that excludes psychiatric disability)
and I really think that's the reason it feels like dismissal. not because every space has to be for us, not because all disabilities are the same, but because "physical disability" is a category that is explicitly and exclusively defined by our absence. there is no universal "physical" experience that unites everyone else but doesn't apply to psychiatric disability.
I can understand that the attempt to create this binary probably stems more from ingrained mind/body dualism rather than from a belief that psychiatric disability isn't disabled enough. But I'm begging you to question that dualism, because it's false, and because it's also behind a lot of the ways ableists DO dismiss us ("it's all in your head" etc).
There can be value in having some narrower communities built around shared experiences! That's not a bad thing! But we really don't need to be digging trenches where they don't exist.
*this list is not exhaustive! I'm sure there are more categories that should be included here, these are just the ones that come to mind/that I hear about the most
