Pondries Of My Mind

18 / Autistic / C-PTSD

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BLOCK NOT REPORT i will just come back if this account gets taken down

If you're in recovery for sh or an ed maybe dont follow me cause i can post about triggering stuff

Timezone is CST if your curious

Gonna be honest, i made this blog in the middle of a mental breakdown but im suddenly doing fine

Bpd is insane?????

Im 18 years old

I think I'll post shit to do with my sh and maybe my horrible art

I don't know if i even would be considered as having an ed??? But i do fast a lot and im trying hard to restrict calories cause holy shit im so overweight its disgusting 🫠

Me and Nikole wanna track stats now - Sarah💜

Hw/Sw: 247lbs

Cw: 227 lbs

Gw for now: 200 lbs

ch: 5'3

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Im gonna decapitate a dollar store baby doll and paint it. Updates coming soon :)

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i keep thinking your pfp is a rat with a hat

Honestly, i should put him in a hat. His name is Ratthew McCashew and hes a distinguished gentleman. And now Im going to make him a felt tophat :)

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Guess whos maybe back? Idk if I'll stay, but I've changed a lot since I was last posting consistently. Major mental breakdowns are not fun... Still here though! Heres some pics I've taken in the time I've been away.

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I need to find someone to worship. It made me feel better last time. But people like that dont like people like me. It never lasts long.

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I know I wont remember this later. I never remember when I feel bad. Tired. Scared. And its still watching.

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Post more i miss youuuu

I missed you too. Sorry I wasn't functioning for a while. Thank you for caring <3

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hiiii its been a while how are things?

Im alive. Thats all that really matters, right?

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The first time I post in 2 weeks and its this shit. At least you all know im still here?

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Its 5 am and Im hallucinating. And depressed. And so fucking tired. It has to go away soon, I know it will. The sun just needs to rise. I wish it would rise faster.

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If I put it down they'll get me. I can see them. Staring at me. I know they're not real. Its in my head. I can feel my heart pounding anyway.

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I wont do anything I cant take back. But isnt that everything?

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I keep my room dark so I dont have to see myself.

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I have had no motivation to do anything for the last 2 weeks. I am just so incredibly tired.

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The deer ate the lamb while the lamb was screaming. Both were crying for help.

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I want to name my first born giardia <3

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If only i wasnt sober rn...