Casual Cake With Caitlin @casualcakewithcaitlin - Tumblr Blog

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80slesbiab

girlslikegirls-vk

sexualsportswear

🎍💐🌿🌹🌸🌼🌺🌻🎍💐🌿🌹🌸🌼🌺🌻

damienns

She is the fight in you, the winning and the losing battle floating like a shipwreck in your chest. When they ask you what your favorite moment is, You will say Her. You will always say Her.

— Caitlyn Siehl, “Her, Her, Her”

sarahmichellesgellar

back when i was living for the hope of it all

danisapphic

i was thinking about this scene yesterday and my brain kept comparing Dani’s emotions to Jamie’s during this conversation– until I realized that you literally can’t compare who was more afraid, because both of them are so valid but for entirely different reasons.

For Jamie, she is obviously terrified of losing her most important person, the love of her life. While she is trying to console and reassure Dani, she is also trying to reassure herself. Think about the scene when Dani drops the plate after seeing Viola in the sink water. Jamie tells her that they could have so many more years together, but it also sounds like she is definitely trying to convince herself that Dani isn’t going anywhere, at least not yet, not if she has any say in it. I feel like she is doing that again here. She’s telling Dani that she is not letting her go, even though she knows in her heart that this will not last forever.

For Dani, it’s a completely different fear. She knows that soon enough, she is going to have to hand herself over to Viola. She’s been seeing her more and more and it’s a constant and painful reminder that she will not last forever. But more than that, she’s absolutely terrified at the prospect of leaving Jamie alone. She doesn’t want Jamie to have to be haunted by her and fight the Grief Monster alone. Dani knows what it is like, because she’s dealt with it first hand ever since Eddie’s death. And she’ll be dammed if she let’s Jamie go through the same thing.

That’s why I think the ending scene is such a beautiful representation of the fact that a) Dani has never left Jamie, and never will and b) Dani reminding Jamie that she is not alone. That Dani will always be here, by her side throughout Jamie’s life. She never left her to fight alone and even if Jamie can’t see her, she is there. Because she loves her so much, and she never wanted to leave her like she did…but she’ll never have to.

webgeekist

Oh OP yes, yes to all of this.

And if I may add some angst frosting to your emotion cake, when I think about all of this I also think hard about why she never *appeared* for Jamie, and how the show answers that question. A haunting is a terrible thing, and Dani knows firsthand how harrowing it is to be chased across existence, both by a ghost you once loved and a ghost you don’t.

So Jamie searches every reflection for a glimpse of Dani, never realizing that Dani would never do that. She wouldn’t leave Jamie to get lost in a reflection, even if the face she sees is a pleasant one. The reflection is a haunting, a symptom of possession. Love and possession are not the same things.

And maybe more obvious, that’s also why she would never accept Jamie’s invitation. Cohabitation in the same body is the same problem.

That leaves dreams. Memories. Things best interacted with when you’re not bound to a single body. Moments that for all her fried, Dani can tuck Jamie away into, and maybe help give her some peace. The only safe place where they can see each other again and, perhaps, build newer memories.

It would have been so easy for each of them to let their fears lead to something desperate and cross that line, but they didn’t. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

And that makes them so, so special.

caroldanversenthusiast

Sir, she is my emotional support lesbian gardener

lifemaniac91

paulnewoman

Gay USA (1977) dir. Arthur J. Bressan Jr.

ledbythreads

The text is from a poem by Black Lesbian poet Pat Parker (pictured) . My copy is from Naming The Waves Contemporary Lesbian Poetry - ed Christian McEwan 1988.