37 of the Best Al Bundy Fat Jokes
Peggy: Mother's up and walking. Al: I'll alert Tokyo. Woman: Hey! You're in my sun. I'm trying to get an all-over tan. Al: Well, you're asking a lot of the sun. Girl: With this attitude, you're going to be working here for the rest of your life. Al: Well take a gander into the seat next to you if you want to see what your future looks like. Girl's mom: Come, Penelope, let's go someplace where they treat us with respect. Al: Try the moon you'll weigh less there. Woman: I'm not sure if I like this shade of blue. Al: I'll tell you what I'll do then. We'll stand you in front of a mirror, I'll begin strangling you. When you reach the shade of blue that is satisfactory to you, you yell "moo" and I'll stop. Woman: That's it, I'm taking my business elsewhere! Al: May I suggest Jenny Craig? Woman: See, I told you I was a size four. Al: No ma'am, fore is what you'll have to yell when the shoe pops OFF of your foot. Lady: You are very fresh! Al: No, Ma'am, that's impossible. Because for the last hour I've been trying to squeeze your foot into a shoe when I really should have been easing it into the box. Lady: I want something to go with this dress. Al: A bubbling cauldron? Lady: You've got a lot of nerve. Al: I need it to get this close to your feet. Al: Who called Vancouver? Peg, did your mother get so fat she spread across the border? Fat Lady: It's because of guys like that that I don't wear shorts anymore. Al: Read the full article