brain and nerve and bounding heart

you know how i doth

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Your future self is talking shit about you

[oldtimeydildomachine]

I’m talking shit about me too she ain’t special

[platypusplayhere]

when in doubt slap His ass

[lordmeowdemort]

His is capitalized….are you talking about god’s ass?

[myheadislostintheclouds-deactiv]

are you in doubt? just slap His ass

[retrogamingblog]

how to properly hold an N64 controller

[bluedogeyes]

Ultimate Spiderman S02E16 - Ultimate Deadpool

I laughed way more than I should have

[stickysheepart-deactivated20151]

oh my god

[fckin-deactivated20171107]

I’m thinking about her

[eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2]

forbidden fruit

[isaacmemes]

Why do grown ass adults want to eat Tide pods so much?

[kitswulf]

Because a ton of the visual/olfactory/textural sensory information these pods give me the match nutritionally-dense fruit. It’s got the oleic gleam of something high-fat like an avocado, but bright carotenoid-rich coloration like a berry that wants to be eaten by red-seeing primates and birds. It tends to smell sweet and slightly floral, enhancing that effect. Similarly, when you hold it, it is quite dense (denser than water), but very soft and liquid, once again reaffirming that this “fruit” has either high sugar or high fat content and almost no cellulose to it.

As a result, within me is a less-clever monkey just screaming to eat this delicious fruit in my hand about to go into the laundry, and it does in fact take willpower to tell him he’s a stupid monkey and this is a bubble of foul-tasting poison. But every time I do laundry, this fucking limbic monstrosity rises again and assures me it’s basically like a cherry but Even Better. I have legitimately debated just biting down on one in the hopes of inducing a deterrent memory to forestall this urge in the future, but that’s what my goddamn mammal-brain wants me to fucking do and I refuse to let it win.

[ciphercoyote]

Human Brain: Don’t eat the posion pod its fucking posion Monkey Brain: Eat the fruit pod its fruit Lizard Brain: The Washing Machine Is Vibrating Give It The Sex Fish Brain: Climb inside the washing machine it is safe.

[themelanintreasury]

Killed it 🎵🎵🎵 IG: https://www.instagram.com/iamezinma/

[pale-manmi]

Oh shit she bodied it

[mirthavirgo]

[louisianagaybottom]

Who is she??!

[the-memedaddy]

[thagoodthings]

[neverthere12345]

[andallthesinners-saints-deactiv]

[lizardsenjoyinglife]

this bearded dragon enjoys dressing as a real dragon.

[terriblecac-moved]

Why is it on Tumblr Mobile™ you can close the app and open it 3 days later and still be on the same spot of your dash, but then other times you switch out of the app to respond to a text, and when you immediately come back, it’s gone, your family is gone, your house is gone, your dignity is gone.

[abilify-deleted-deactivated2017]

if you wake up while McDonald’s is still serving breakfast then you’re doing good

[homophu-deactivated20180101]

doesnt mcdonalds have all day breakfast now?

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

if you wake up at all then you’re doing good

[burgertv]

wow the new jurassic world looks so good

[innerpeaceonly]

I got my heart broken and I survived, I failed 3 courses in university and graduated, I got rejected in the very first job I applied for and got promoted yesterday, I went through hard times with my family but then two years later, we laughed our hearts out over lunch, The closest friends disappointed me several times but I made new friends and loved them with all my heart. I did it once, I can do it again.

[redactedc]

I NEEDED THIS SO BADLY

[totallyboardaf]

This. This everyday. I need this everyday.

[play6irl]

[thug-gifs]

Reblog this within 10 seconds and unexpected extra money will cum to you this week

[thegreathamedebate]

The money will do what now

[knowwhatimeme]

[knightcleric]