these are things i’ve only ever wrote in my personal journal, some of these things are my biggest fears and i always feel alone and stupid like i shouldn’t be scared of the things i cannot change. here’s a page from my journal that i labeled “RELIGION” on june 4, 2020
i think the idea of religion was created for the feeling of hope, that there is something after death. death is inevitable, everyone of us have to experience this once our time is come. the ones who have yet to experience that have no idea what follows after death. every single person fears death at some point in their life, because if there’s nothing after death what is nothing? our brains can’t wrap our mind around the meaning of absolute nothing. it’s not a black screen, because black is something. it’s not a dream, it’s literally nothing. which i’m not saying it is bc obviously i’ve not died but there’s always that chance. for me personally, death scares the living hell out of me. honestly, i don’t know if growing older or dying is scarier because they both sound scary from my perspective. i’ve asked the question to many people of different ages “did life go by fast or did you get to enjoy it” and i always get the answer “i feel like i don’t know where the times gone. my life has flew before my eyes”. life flies by, and that scares me because i have to watch everyone i’ve ever known and loved die and then i have to. and the idea of people attending my funeral makes me very uncomfortable because the body they are looking at is no longer who i am. myself, my memories, my personality, and all of that is gone. i am just a shell. i’ve come to decide to look at death as a factory shut down, kind of like your phone. sometimes you can reset your phone and turn it back on, that’s how i see sleep but eventually the phone is no longer in the best shape and you have to factory shutdown and the phone is useless at that point. that’s how i see death, like an everlasting sleep, without dreams, or knowledge of yourself or surroundings. you become nothing, you are nothing after death. people are scared to be nothing, again we can’t wrap our mind around the absolute meaning of the word. so i think religion came about to give hope that they won’t become nothing, but that their self, mind, and personality will carry on somewhere else.
(this came directly from my own personal journal) so i’m sorry if none of this makes sense to anyone. my brain was all over the place when i wrote this.
