meandering

hanae, 14. these are my words.

[porcelainproblems-blog]

my neck has lines

horizontally across them

they are perforated guides

ready steady

tear them neatly

a child's game of tracing lines

my crayon; a knife.

[porcelainproblems-blog]

all the countless days

spent counting

the mouthfuls of food

forty grams of yogurt

twelve cranberries

one hundred and twenty-two calories

all the countless days 

spent counting

every f o o t s t e p of mine

hoping i'd burn off

the one slice of bread i'd eaten

  one two three four one two three four one two thr-

all the countless days

for nothing

forty grams of yogurt

became

nine hundred and ninety-seven

extra calories

shoving my emotions down my throat

i realise -

this is all i can count on.

[inkedregret-deactivated20151209]

Maybe we’ve all been Looking in all the wrong spots For our happiness

[porcelainproblems-blog]

i down drowsy pills

with cups of coffee just to

appear ironic