Green Hair & Pronouns

‣she/they, animal lover, terf hater, queer, elder millennial

[molags-balls]

wyd after taking this

[skelegun]

[man1cpixiedreampuppy]

magneto: how do you have so much faith in humans to do the right thing when they have proven you wrong time and time again?

the humble charles xavier:

[mkanuhea]

tag urself

[wheeloffortune-design]

my publisher: Good morning! Huh did you advertise for the pre-sale yesterday? Because we launched twelve hours ago and we already made sales!

me: yeah, i posted on tumblr

publisher: .........tumblr?

me: that's where the gays are.

(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western)

[wheeloffortune-design]

update

publisher: And what is your marketing strategy on... tumblr?

me: idk, i shitpost at 2am?

publisher: .....and it works?

me: depends on what the gays find funny at that point in time.

publisher: Could I have a link to your tumblr?

me: .......absolutely not.

(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western where 50 year old women kiss and murder)

[wheeloffortune-design]

update!

publisher: I've been looking into tumblr, have you thought of using Blaze to promote your book?

me: NO

publisher: But it seems like an efficient way to get this in front of more eyes-

me: people on tumblr hate Blaze.

publisher: There is no algorithm and you can't pay to promote a post? I don't understand how anyone advertises anything on tumblr.

me: That's the best part. They don't. They can't.

(trying to make him understand that we do not control the attention. We just have to show something shiny and gay enough and if people are interested, they'll reblog.)

(Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a deconstruction of the colonialist cowboy mythos dressed up as a sapphic romance.)

[wheeloffortune-design]

update with picture of a pet!

This is Cosmos, my publisher's dog.

He barks at my publisher's phone notifications. So every time a book is sold, Cosmos barks.

It's been days.

I think you guys would love to know that when you buy a book, a dog barks in Vancouver, Canada.

(Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a story where women help women bury the body of your abusive husband.)

[angrylittlesliceofpizza]

… okay, see, THIS is going to get this "in front of more eyes"

tell your publisher that his adorable dog reacting to his phone blips will sell books

[amygdalae]

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

[amygdalae]

You'd unfollow me for my pitcher plant pussy post? After the beautiful night we shared???

[toonlink1210]

WASNT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. PESIS IS GONE.

[whitepeopletwitter]

Leave him alone 😭

[vetchtibbles]

a moment of silence for my roommate who has to endure me doing linguistics homework. out loud. making sounds with parts of my mouth and throat I didn’t even realise I could use to make sounds. repeatedly and with passion

[teacupsandcyanide]

i think the moment of silence needs to come directly from you on this one

[rowan-e-ravenwood]

new top contender

[wroniec]

Tara&Gale

[rickybabyboy]

is this my most tigerously scary pose??!!! dont be afraid. it will be okay.

ID: Orange and white tabby laying on his back on a toy pink plush sofa, he is twisted around in what could be described as a silly way

[princecroutons]

Mr Big Cheeks

[orion-the-cat]

[ms-hells-bells]

i mean, aren't these just the cutest???

most people outside nz don't know there's multiple kiwi species. the pukupuku/little spotted kiwi is the smallest species. these are chicks, but they don't get a ton larger.

(left to right: great spotted kiwi, north island brown kiwi, little spotted kiwi)

more about the kiwi species - https://predatorfreenz.org/research/native-wildlife/5-species-of-kiwi-you-never-knew-about/

[black-bloc-antifa]

[stuckinapril]

Absolutely no one and nothing needs an IMMEDIATE response unless it’s an emergency or a work related situation (focus modes exist that allow only certain notifications to go through for this purpose)

Getting to a text or notification in 15 minutes versus 2 hours changes absolutely nothing about the outcome of a situation

You forget 80% of what you scrolled through at the end of the day

There’s absolutely no image on Pinterest, no post on Tumblr, no story on Instagram that could be as novel as reading a book you’ve never read and the dopamine release from finishing it and soaking it in

it can literally wait. It’s not the end of the world. Your brain will make it seem that way but it’s not

Phones are built like slot machines (same exact mechanism) so don’t be too hard on yourself

But also consider how much progress you’d make in your goals if you siphoned some of that screen time into whatever goals you’ve had forever

you don’t need to live a no phone lifestyle, it’s about portions

it will feel so fulfilling when it’s under moderation

[theoreocat]

Some people will judge another by how many friends they have. Life isn’t a popularity contest though. I’d rather have less friends and have those few friendships be more meaningful, instead of many friends who come and go with no real meaning or value. This is one of the many things Oreo taught me. 💚

[punishedsaints]