[possibdfmsds]

HOPE IS NOT AN INTELLECTUAL CERTAINTY BUT A MORAL OBLIGATION

[possibdfmsds]

Right or wrong, this is the road and we are on it

[possibdfmsds]

It just so happened that both of us are leaving the city in a month’s time. My relationship with my boyfriend put to the test, always put to the test. Short form content about loving and letting go flooding my phone. I’ve got a one way ticket plus luggage for the end of the month. Reading through our texts, argument after argument about the same old thing. Last year, two years ago, this year. Long distance is a bitch when one person is glued to their phone and the other sees it as the worst invention by human kind. I’ll always try my luck and I won’t regret it. Hopefully haha

[possibdfmsds]

I finished with work early and decided to go to the library and get the book for the upcoming book club meeting. I didn’t want to appear too eager and come too early to the bar where we were meeting at. So I get the book, Klara and the Sun, with its yellow cover, no illustrations, white font. I carried it in my hands, I put it on the small table between us. Not the first time I use a book to create distance. He said he has heard of Ishiguro, to which I replied that he won the Nobel prize some years ago. He joked saying “well yes, I only read Nobel prize winners.” It was an evening that lasted till 2 in the morning but felt like 3 hours, at most. This morning I finished the Afonso Cruz book I’ve been reading and picked up my first Saramago (the librarian recommended both when I said I want to read some Portuguese writers). Saramago has also won the Nobel. Funny that!

[possibdfmsds]

I was going through some old videos from uni and more than half of them are of a guy I don’t talk to anymore. My beautiful friend Brandon. He was very important to me and I miss him!

[possibdfmsds]

The last fat tax return 🥲

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[possibdfmsds]

I’m not satisfied and I’ve been made a fool of. Here we go again

[possibdfmsds]

Formal education as a way to discipline and accustom the new generation of workers to the existing social order is also a place of such human potential bc it creates situational bonds that bear seeds of solidarity and mutual understanding, so it will never be pointless.

[possibdfmsds]

Conclusions after reading 12/34 pages of revision notes: the inept anti-hero topos in early 20th century italian literature is a circle jerk made out of petite bourgeoisie intellectuals who got overwhelmed by industrialisation

[possibdfmsds]

It’s about waking up and deciding. And just like that, I’m a flung open door

[possibdfmsds]

Me, flirting: I can show you Jupiter Saturn and Mars I can spot them easily sitting here where I am

[possibdfmsds]

I remember. Today is my first boyfriend’s birthday and to celebrate it at the time I woke up earlier than him and baked him a bunch of danish pastries in the kitchen of my student halls. I’ve been tender… I hope he’s doing well wherever he is. I’ve had strange relationships with men so far in my life where a great deal of them ended or never began properly because of the distance factor. It makes me wonder about many things, it makes me somewhat wistful. Not for the relationships themselves but for the missed opportunity to learn in close proximity about how to be with others and with others as myself. To all my old flames scattered around europe, or who knows, maybe closer to me than I’m aware of (as I’ve been made aware by bumping into one on the street two weeks ago), pouring one out metaphorically..

[possibdfmsds]

You know it’s different when I pick up an actual journal. I’ve learnt my lessons thank you!

[55five]

If it’s meant to be I’ll see you later

[possibdfmsds]

Last crumpets out of the freezer </3

[possibdfmsds]

A ladybird crashed into my face and landed on my phone