8000 Roentgens @postapocalypticcatbrat - Tumblr Blog

hey hey intro post

hi I'm apocalypse, part of system, wanted my own blog so here we are.

The main ones that use this blog is C/Cesium, Radon, and Apocalypse (edit, hi im Cesium! im updating this)

Each of us have our own tags for organizing

use it/they for us and we're absolutely are interested in nuclear science and art.

don't really have a dni, those don't exactly work so i just block if i don't like someone/if i find something they post harmful to me. not here for discourse or fighting, just to exist. if you are a jerk or harmful, y'know like racists, homophobes, endos, ya getting blocked (and others but too lazy to list y'know)

just be nice and we're cool

edit!!!! UH so a lot of posts are NOT trigger warned when they should be, often due to in the moment forgetfulness or just not knowing how to tag. so definitely be careful!! it is a lot of personal vents so yk, keep yourself safe with that.

UGHHHHH stupid fucking love stuff. disgusting.

#not one of the usual people. i think. who knows who cares.

nevermind i am suddenly going insane

why is stupid shit happening in my life while im sane i dont want to be aware

#by cesium #MAKING FRIENDS AS A FULL FLEDGED ADULT IS HARD FUCK #as in. someone is literally spreading rumors about me when im taking an academic leave other fuckers decided #because she stole my sewing machine. in a very convoluted way. while whoever was conscious was having a breakdown #thought my mom died. i got some stability. and am avoiding this bitch. im doing better #and that means my physical health now gets to do sine waves. but im safe. I've been less psychotic #less hallucinations n stuff. less delusions of grandeur and of worthlessness. but damn. i dont want to deal with this shit when going back #so. degree is on hold. let life become a bit more stable. get some enjoyment. maybe I'll take up scrapbooking #but all i can do right now. what I've been doing all day. is just going DAMN

gotta love realizing your entire life plan got turned on its head and now you have to accept it on a random Saturday morning but anything new involves staying alive and safe for a few more years till i can try and do fasfa myself. but there's actually someone new encouraging me. it's so new to me. having only one person for years, sadly their care started to sound like background noise and now it's back and it's weird and im forced to take it slow

#by cesium #well. i might be going into nuclear engineering fr but not yet. im not even close to finishing my afa. but. its okay for once #for once im not losing my mind. and there's more than one person i can fall back onto when thinga get rough.#it's new but hell i love the community around my job and my best friends

they say they get why i do things STOP LYING ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS HURT ME THATS ALL YOU DO TO ME JUST BE HONEST AND SAY YOU WANT SOMEONE ELSE OR GO TO YOUR PARTNER SINCE IM SUCH A HARMFUL MONSTER TO YOU

#by Cesium #ughh im fine im fine im fine #im just crazy they're going through actually bad stuff. im fine. even when i get home it will just be an overreaction #they are going through worse and im here acting stupid on tumblrdotcom about nothing #i cant type the thoughts im having on here can the cocon guy take over

oh my fucking god. two mentally ill friends makes the mundane piss me off. but i see why that bitch is like this. BUT WILL THEY EVER GIVE ME THE SAME FUCKING LENIENCY? FUCK NO

#by Cesium #or at least i am convinced they wont.#like. they do x things but i know why even if it pisses me or is an actual trigger #but if i do x thing they go off about how they dont matter and that im awful and im pissed off #they didn't say im awful this time but its what i think could be said. especially since im back #and and. im always the one told I'm hated. so many times. and this new guy cocon doesn't help since he thinks they hate him too.#im fine im fine. just pissed off even though i know this is what happens if i front.

broke my phone AGAIN. at least at new one is only 40 because i use an old ass model and get deals.

unfortunately the dramatics queer in my head saw but he's keeping quiet about it (he broke this phone first, yk, the one i got after my meltdown. and this time it was embarrassing, it just flopped on the floor at school when i went to clean the case)

#by cesium #everytime a phone breaks or gets shattered in some way I'm fronting. like why. last time with him i was a witness #then i drop the phone and he's witnessing. the first time was my meltdown thank god no one saw that

SO THERE'S A FUCKING CONSTITUTION AND BYLAWS TO MY COLLEGE CLUB WTF WHY DID WE NOT KNOW THIS

#by cesium #heyyy so im back a bit got a new headmate buddy who's slightly less fucked up as me but MORE CRAZG #crazy* damnit i can't spell #its okay hes worse thsn me at spelling #but yeah college am i right? the teachers never told us about this shit i got cool pals to invade icc meetings qith to figure it out #i was the club president. but he had us step down in my absence. absolutely best call i fucking love being the secretary #he's so fucking weird and ready to burn down the world for bettering art club i have mad respect for this #dmk my new bestie and who fucking wont let me overwork myself

i end up not fronting for a month, everything goes insane. i get thrown into ceramics i haven't done before AND THEN shatter my phone again

#by cesium #why has it been me both times our phone got shattered #first time was me having a meltdown and chucking it. and today i dropped it in the parking lot

thinking of sticker designs while hyping myself up to do the work i need to do. and to eat

i hate everyone. I HATE THEM SO MUCH UGH

At least my keychains arrived, the epoxy ones are kinda scuffed but oh well, the wood ones are good. back to drawing so i don't fucking hurt myself

#by cesium

postapocalypticcatbrat

I can so be trusted with printing services when I'm depressed and downright suicidal!!! <- completely lying, going to be drawing a body pillow design of fav characters and getting that printed

postapocalypticcatbrat

i forgot about the body pillow designs. I'm gonna do that, eventually. i did a first batch of keychains. i know i want to do different ones too. maybe pillow cases?? i like soft stuff that's why i sew sooo maybe that???? idk im going through this blog while thinking of stuff to make to avoid impulsively buying shit or acting stabby to people

postapocalypticcatbrat

JAHAHAHA MY PACKAGES CAME IN I'VE DECIDED WHAT KEYCHAINS IM GOING TO MAKE. MY STICKER PAPER, MORE LITTLE GUYS TO PUT EVERYWHERE

postapocalypticcatbrat

im so slowly waiting on my package because they keychains were made!!! patience is not my strong suit. and now there's a fixation on a random game series that's causing me to want to make everything pink so it's a battle of impulse control and patience.

at least i can force my friends to look at my oc

okay i got kicked from fronting for a while. now there's actually someone named cesium. what the hell

uugh random things are bugging me worse than normal again. and it's about one person. i need to just not freak out, not tear everything apart, like what i feel, like i feel is needed.

okay sat away from this post. MY FRIEND THOUGHT I WAS HALLUCINATING. I HAVE PICTURE PROOF IM NOT AAAAAAAAA

#by Cesium

why would someone ask for someone's opinion if they're just going to get upset???? (is probably delusional and imagining stuff)

#by Cesium

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