I'll answer to Nicky or Fate, 30+, they/them
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If you're expecting some sort of consistency, I'm sorry in advance. The only thing consistent here is that this is a sims (2) blog on main. I have a (nonsims) side blog somewhere around here, but I seem to have misplaced it with my keys...
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Navigation post is pinned.
for posterity's sake, I can also be found on simblr.cc, pillowfort, as well as dreamwidth, though I don't use it currently.
(and for my mutuals, my discord is potentialfate, just make sure you let me know who you are if you add me.)
I’m WCIF friendly, but I also have a lot of old stuff in my game, so I can’t guarantee anything. I should at least be able to give you names though! Please send them via ask though, otherwise I might miss them or forget!
I make TS2 CC exclusively (you will find no ts4 cc here.) and write semi-interesting soap opera style posts based vaguely around gameplay. (with a lot of artistic liberty.) That being said, my writing has some darker themes. I tag appropriately with “tw xxx” as the standard. (ie: “tw death”) please read at your own risk. I’m willing to add extra tw tags for regular readers/mutuals/etc if you send me a dm.
Due to Tumblr's new adverts on personal blogs, I feel like I should add a warning that I neither support whatever adverts are on my page, nor do I even know what they are. I highly recommend you too get an adblocker like ublock or adblock, or use a VPN that has an adblock included. (or all of the above)
(if you only want to see my posts, and no reblogs, all my posts are tagged "my posts" for more specifics, read on)
Current Story (Master Post)
Ten years ago, Arkhelios' "quiet" town was thrown into chaos when one of their beloved founders, Abraham Helios, was found murdered in the park one late night. With no real leads, and no laws as safety nets in place, the case went cold and the town hasn't been the same since. Salem Bellamy stepped up to take over in Abraham's wake, but the peace that followed is strained at best. With new complications on the rise, and the older generation fighting to establish a social hierarchy, the younger generation of residents struggle to find their place, and move on from their traumatic childhoods. But can one really move on, when what's dead and buried doesn't stay that way?
My Custom Content:
// [pfate tag] // (All my CC)
// [Whole SFS Folder] // (it might be a mess)
// [Google Doc Master Post] // (includes images)
// [Object Default Database] // (a GD database for ts2 B/B defaults)
// [Pearshape Fat Morph Project] // (info || tag)
Note:
My custom content follows the same tagging system I use for cc finds, so it will also be mixed in with those tags if you’re looking for something specific. You can also find only my custom content via the “dl: xxx” tags (ie: “dl: hair”) or on my Simblr.CC.
TOU is basically just don’t say you made it yourself, feel free to do whatever you want with it though, just don’t put anything created with my shit behind a paywall… and idek a link/credit or an @ would be pretty chill. it’s not 100% necessary though.
I don’t really take requests, but feel free to make a suggestion. Just don’t be alarmed if I say I’m not interested.
What happened in Pleasantview after Bella Goth's disappearance? How did the other citizens fare from the aftermath, and how does one exactly grow up when your parents can't seem to get a handle on their own lives? Follow the slice-of-life storyline of the teens and young adults from pleasantview, with a few cameos from other neighborhoods.
Other’s Content:
(Other simmer’s works, these will all also be generally tagged: reblog)
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Sims 2 Custom Content Finds Tag Masterpost
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Other common tags: Sims Artwork // Sims Memes // Sims 4 // sims stories
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Stories to Read list
The occasional TS4 post I make will be tagged pfate ts4
Reincarnation is messy. It's painful, confusing, and when it's all said and done, you don't have a clue who you are anymore. It was easier the first time, when I had my biological parents there with me, using my connection to them to speed up the process.
The second time, I had no preparation. I had barely enough strength left to just start the process. Every ounce of power I'd clung to over the centuries only guaranteed that the energy who made me who I was, my soul, would transfer itself from the corpse I was trapped in. I couldn't choose my form or where I would be born, or choose to reappear as an adult. I was a baby, born into a world that had forgotten me.
My champions were dead, products of a distant past. Izanami hadn't been in the mortal realm since the Demon Wars. The afterlife trembled when I ripped my power unknowingly from the granddaughter who was channeling it. Everyone expected me to reappear as a fully powered adult deity, but I was nowhere to be found. The god of Life was missing.
I was born to a woman I've never known. Suddenly finding herself pregnant with an infant that looked nothing like her and presumably her spouse, she surrendered me to an orphanage. At least, that's what my file said. I don't blame her; she was a victim of chance. I couldn't control where I reincarnated and she never agreed to reincarnate a god. I assume that it was decided by the Ocean, though I've never been brave enough to ask.
My legal name was Rey Gallagher, chosen at random by the orphanage. I don't use that name anymore, as it's not my true name. Besides, Rey Gallagher has a few legal charges that could still be brought against her if the monarchy so chose. Attempted regicide doesn't ever come off your permanent record.
My best friend and foster sister, Paige, was my rock. No matter what happened, she was there for me. We were there for each other. Neither of us were adopted as children, so we decided that we'd be all the family we needed. She never was adopted.
Then, when I was thirteen, my powers began to awaken. Small cracks of my true self began to shine through. An orphan with no one, living in poverty, saw the wealth of the Crystal Cove king and suddenly had the power to take that wealth for herself. I had the castle overtaken, the queen consort comatose, and the living king twisted in the control of the god of living things. They called it attempted regicide despite Liam never being in any real danger. Even though I didn't remember it then, I can't use the power of Life to kill, which I have pointed out to many castle security guards since then. They never seem interested in listening to my side of the story.
I was living what a thirteen year old orphan thought was the high life, until I saw him. A dark, terrifying creature with piercing gold eyes. He sat on my stolen throne, watching me with fury in his eyes.
"What have you done with Lukas? Answer me, and I might let you live."
Not many people can stare Death in the face and still be pissed that he was usurping their stolen throne. I think that's when he first recognized me for who I was. His demeanor changed then from anger to something I can't describe. Hurt maybe that I didn't recognize him? Anger that I had been using my power to damage the living realm? Hope that I hadn't been lost like the world assumed I was? That unlike Riley, I had come back?
In an instant, the castle disappeared, and I was alone with Death in an abandoned house on the border of Crystal Cove. Memories began to trickle in as I watched him. Slowly at first, and then with increasing speed the longer we watched each other.
I was a deity, and so was he. We were two halves of one coin, completely opposite, but both needed to balance the world. I had a family, one that missed me desperately despite how fractured it was. I wasn't an orphan at all, or even female. I had been a not so great husband or father, that much I could remember, though the details were still hazy. I could remember the son who had rendered my second incarnation incapable of sustaining Life. I could remember him very clearly. While I can't truly kill someone as Life, there are loopholes to be exploited. Much like Kamalani Bellamy, Luke Jr quickly found that out once I remembered what he'd done.
My memory of my past life, of my true identity, was incomplete. I was stuck in my teenage body, trying to relearn my abilities and sworn duties while balancing the identity I had been building for thirteen years.
Two reapers officially adopted me so that I could process the changes in my existence in a safe (for the mortals) environment. Paige was upset to see me go, but we still kept in touch. Another nasty side effect of reincarnation is trying to explain to your friends that you're actually a deity who has existed for many centuries and protects the living realm.
And the homework sucks too. I tell all the teens that I interact with that I understand their hatred of homework and they never believe me.
I learned how to drive a car as a teenager. Everyone in my life usually teleports to get where they want, and I'm no exception. There's still something thrilling about feeling the wind in your hair or racing down a highway well past the speed limit. I don't own a car or have a license for that matter (Queen Claudia promised to grant me one in exchange for the safe return of her favourite earrings though). It's something that I want to teach my twins before they go to university. I'd never really driven before this incarnation, probably because my parents both loved cars and driving. It was a reminder of a time when my family was happy. When Riley and Leander were born.
I didn't understand why Izanami was so distant back then. We were clearly meant to work together, just as I was told we had in the past, but he kept me at arms length. We met once a week to go over my duties, and discuss what I could remember of my true self. He always looked hopeful that I might have some breakthrough, but I never did. I was mesmerized by the dark, mysterious deity to the point of obsession, but Izanami always (correctly) ignored my advances, saying that he was not attracted to a teenager, and even when I was an adult, he knew that he would only bring me pain in a relationship. Didn't I remember how things ended between us a lifetime ago?
I didn't. Not for a long time, and when I did? I may have been a little upset that he'd lied by ommission to me. Flames were involved.
Somethings never change from lifetime to lifetime. My best friend and half-brother, Reese, has been a constant in all of my lifetimes. He has a flair for the dramatic inherited straight from our father, but once I recovered my memories of my past incarnations, we picked our friendship up like centuries hadn't passed between us.
I went back to my assigned duties with an enthusiasm I'd never had before. Things had changed so much in the time I was gone, and I was determined to understand every part of my role as Life so that I could never be caught off guard again. I found my creations, still safely embedded in the reaper teams I had left them in
and after a brief incident involving the afterlife offices and fire, I released them into the care of the Grim Reaper. I was stepping back and fixing the mistakes of my past (and of the prior week in the case of the fire). You need to grow from your past life. Don't make the same mistakes and waste the time you're given.
It's hard sometimes to balance the old me, with my old habits and memories
and my new existence. It's taken me more time than you've even been alive to process what's changed, and what's stayed the same. I hope my example can help speed up the process.
But I know that it will take you two a great deal of time to work it all out, because reincarnation is messy.
Helle marveled at her new ability to levitate, while Theo deliberately rose up higher than she had in order to show off. The Tredonians were full of interesting tricks, some of which, Helle was surprised to have picked up so easily. With nothing but mental concentration, she was now a few feet off the ground like she was practicing sorcery.
Helle had gone over to the house to apologize to Abercius, but he hadn't been there. Apparently, he had something else more pressing to do and had left for the day, leaving Helle in the clutches of Despina. The eager witch had recently gained some confidence, and wanted to have another try at fixing Helle's dreams. Abercius had often visited the Dean house with his little brother, so Helle guessed that maybe she would find him sulking there if he was too afraid to enter his own home. Abercius wasn't at the Dean house, but Theo and Despina had still insisted on trying whatever they could to help with her dreams.
"That could be the meditation starting to relax you," Despina replied. "You're in a relaxed state, outside in the sunshine; it has to be working. I know that it will be easier to manage your dreams if you're relaxed better than before."
"No, I actually feel really funny," Helle stated, beginning to worry about how high she was off the ground and how much it might hurt if she fell. "I feel cold and sweaty and a little dizzy. This might be too much for a first try at meditation."
She closed her eyes, but that only made things worse. Images flashed in her head far too quickly to comprehend, aside from the unmistakable glowing eye of Absydee.
Apophis, please. The world would stop spinning if we stayed here together.
"I don't think that sounds right, Helle," Theo remarked. "Not even the meditation we studied in Shadowvale made me feel cold. Maybe you're getting sick."
"No one is sick," Despina declared. "I'm not going to fail this time. We can work through this and get your nightmares under control. Abercius mentioned that they were really starting to impact your daily life."
Helle tried not to cringe, just in case she broke her focus and tumbled to the ground. So Abercius had been upset about the paintings and her rambling about the dead woman she was now obsessed over. At least she now had that confirmed.
You are the king, make Hetepheres obey! She cannot marry a knight, and Watcher help us if she has his bastard child! Do something, Apophis!
A light shone that was somehow even brighter when Helle closed her eyes. First she was dreaming about the past, and now she was hearing voices. She was losing her mind.
Ranya, don't leave here angry at me. You're my sister. We can talk about this.
"It's so strong," Helle groaned, somehow managing to kick out her feet to touch the ground once more. "I think I'm going to be sick. Do you hear the voices too? They just keep getting louder."
"Voices? Are they telling you to marry Abercius or to dump him because they don't like him?" Helle could faintly hear Theo speak if she tried to focus on his voice. "You don't have to listen to them. They're not even allowed to be here. They're just really bitchy dead people for the most part. No one tells me what else they are, but there's definitely a lot of dead people with dumb opinions."
"Despina? Is this supposed to be happening?! My hand feels like it's on fire. Despina?"
Helle extended her arm, shocked to see her hand enveloped in an intense light. If she squinted hard enough, she thought she could make out the outline of an object materializing in her hand.
"No, this is definitely not dream magic!" Despina replied, staring at Helle in shock. "There is nothing written in my book about this! Theo? Is this Jubilant Accosts magic? You must have studied this!"
"They only let me study the demon stuff!" Theo insisted. "Helle's not a demon, so none of that matters!"
Helle could feel the weight of something metallic begin to settle in her hand. As the light faded, she found that the metal was cool to the touch, and encrusted with jewels that shone in the fading light.
"It...it's a crown," she whispered. The voices in her head somehow got louder, until her friends were drowned out completely.
This is yours now, Apophis. You are of age to rule. Guard this crown with your life and serve the Watcher always.
Helle slipped the crown on her head. It fit perfectly over her hair, and despite the weight of it, Helle could move her head easily.
"Helle? Did you just summon a crown?"
Helle looked down the street to the ruins of the Yacothian castle. Over the years, the various proxies had forbidden anyone from entering the area, citing the unholy acts that took place on the land. She had always wondered what the castle looked like growing up. She had no family or land aside from the gallery the Proxy gave to her, and there was a huge castle just sitting empty on the hill where people could live.
Were the sins of the royal family too great for the land to ever be reclaimed again? She didn't remember sinning all that much, though Hetepheres could have done anything when she took the throne. Her daughter was a case too hopeless for even the Watcher, she feared. No! He feared. Apophis feared. And yet-Hetepheres was also her daughter. Helle's. Apophis'. The same person, one soul in two lifetimes.
Ah, you're finally awakening. Good. I promised that I'd walk you through this, so I hope that this transition goes smoothly and triggers all at once. My last reincarnation, I awakened at thirteen, but didn't trigger all of my memories until my twenties.
With all of the chaos twisting her mind, Helle could hear the deity call for her. It took everything she had just to focus on their voice.
Your soul is less complicated than mine, so I think this will be it. Be prepared for a hell of a ride.
Here, follow my memories as an example. That's my dad, Luke. My original dad, not whoever's genetics I had inherited with this new body. Your mother was Queen Neith, but you have a genetic family in this life too, who you may want to connect with. It takes a while to get used to the idea, I know, but reincarnation goes easier if you have a support network.
"Lukas, I'm sorry. I never would have left if I'd known you were in danger. I should have stopped this. I might have fixed this, if...if...I'm so sorry."
Oops. Ignore that. You don't need a lesson in being comatose for several centuries while your ex finally knows what it's like to lose you. It's all jumbled up in my head, and I've never had to explain reincarnation to someone before.
Let's see, where did your ending begin? A love affair with an immortal just slightly less clueless about people than her boss. Someone who might break the laws of what is permitted to save her love.
Murder by your own blood. A soulmate in turmoil. Did she ever tell you just how powerful reaper bonds are with their partners?
Are you ready? Follow me.
Helle clutched her head as a blinding pain seared through her mind, purging everything but the words she could hear repeating over and over.
"Reincarnating is messy. Reincarnating is messy. Reincarnating is messy...."
Helle Seavey tried to clear her head, but nothing seemed to help. Ever since she'd met with Despina, her dreams had been out of control. She'd been out of control.
The nightmares were stronger than ever, and were no longer limited just to the hours she was asleep. It was fortunate that the Proxy wasn't able to pay her a visit, since she had been failing all of her regular duties in order to spend every waking hour painting.
The visions she'd seen were engraved upon her mind. There was no escaping the beautiful woman with the glowing eye, or the way that she looked at Apophis. How had she never seen this Absydee in her dreams before? Where had she been hiding all this time?
The connection to her nightmares felt personal. She'd always felt affection for the king as a tragic figure in history, but he was becoming real to her in a way that defied logic. Her thoughts were consumed by him and his mistress. She'd painted that single glowing eye again and again, until she swore she could almost feel it staring back at her.
Helle needed Despina's help, even though the Tredonian had failed in her first attempt. This was getting out of control, during a time where Helle very much needed to be able to rely on herself. If she couldn't focus on avoiding the dream plague, she may fall victim to it.
Abercius cautiously opened the door to Helle's gallery home. Helle often left the front door unlocked, despite the threat of fighting vampires and werewolves, or of Xexys himself. He would have to remind her of the dangers, and hope that she didn't turn around and lecture him about traveling in the middle of the night. Abercius' mother would be livid if she knew where he was and at what time of night he was out, This whole sneaking around to see a girl was Helena's usual skill set, not his.
He noticed a few new paintings hanging on the wall that matched what he'd seen in Helle's dream. Portraits depicting some of the members of the royal family were hung in prominent places. If the Proxy had seen this, he would have been incensed. This gallery would have been burnt as an apology to the Watcher. Now that the Proxy was gone, was "heresy" like this going to be allowed? Abercius refused to let anyone hurt Helle for any reason.
"Abby, it's a bit late for you to be stopping by. What's wrong?"
"I just had to see you," Abercius explained. "I was having a weird dream that was similar to the one you had the other day, and I just had to come find you. I like the new paintings that are up. They're very...historical."
"You can say heretical," she laughed. "I can see it on your face. I wouldn't display them if times weren't dire. Maybe someone will see a painting and have information about what I see in my dreams. Maybe enough people will buy them that we have a sudden swell of support for the old teachings. Maybe this is what I'm supposed to be doing now that the Proxy is gone. It's a nice thought." She paused for a moment, then beckoned Abercius to follow her. "Let me show you what I've been working on. Promise you won't freak out."
Abercius followed Helle into her living quarters, expecting to see a few paintings hung on the wall. Helle sometimes let him pick out new pieces to display in the gallery by displaying them on a blank wall. This was something else entirely.
Nearly all of her walls were covered with pictures of the woman from Helle's dream. Everywhere he looked, there was a picture of Absydee staring back at him with her unsettling eye.
"How did you even have time to paint all these?" he asked, staring at the walls with a mix of appreciation and horror.
"I haven't slept much since I've seen Absydee," Helle explained. Her eyes looked tired, and her right hand trembled slightly as she gestured to the paintings. "I usually channel my dreams into my art, but this feels different. If I could just paint her into existence, she could answer so many of my questions. It's a crazy idea, right? Aside from the obvious heresy, of course, but I feel like she's been just outside of my grasp this entire time. Like I can channel her into my canvas and bring her to life. I can't explain how driven I am by this woman, but I am. Apophis feels real to me, especially with all the detail I get of him in my dreams, but Absydee? I feel like I can't breathe until I can see her smile. I call out to her, and even though I know that it's crazy, my body still waits to hear her reply. Is this making sense? I don't think any of this is making sense."
Abercius was quiet as he thought about the question. Did any of what Helle'd just said make sense? Not particularly. Still, he'd experienced some of her dreams for himself and how intense they could be, so maybe there was some truth to her apparent madness.
"I dreamt of her earlier," Abercius offered. "That was why I came to talk to you. It was nothing as strong as...this, but I saw her again. Maybe she really is real, and she's trying to communicate with you. Despina says that that's not a thing that happens, but she doesn't know everything. Maybe she can help us."
"I hope so, otherwise why do I feel so strongly about her?"
Abercius flinched at the reminder that his girlfriend was currently obsessed with someone who wasn't him. She was likely long dead, so Abercius knew that it didn't make sense to be jealous of a ghost Helle had never met, but it still stung a little. Helena would be yelling at him for such an irrational jealousy if she were there with them, so Abercius did his best to picture his sister beside him.
Helle seemed oblivious to his distress. She stared at her paintings, as if she expected at least one of them to start speaking to her.
"You could paint a portrait of me, so that I could help you," Abercius suggested meekly. "I'm not sure how to help you right now, but I'll try to have more dreams about this woman for your sake."
This suggestion seemed to pull Helle from her thoughts.
"Oh, Abby. You don't need to be jealous of this specter that haunts my dreams," she laughed, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. "You could never compare to a figment of some distant story. I'm sure that I'm dreaming of her for some reason, but not as a replacement for you."
Abercius blushed furiously, but willed himself to let go of his anxious jealousy and enjoy the moment. He was alone with a girl that he liked for the first time in his life, and he didn't dare ruin this chance. Helena would never let him live it down if he did.
Helle threw her shirt and pants to the floor, so Abercius followed her lead. Kissing a pretty girl who liked him back was the best feeling in the world. No wonder Helena was so dedicated to Phuong. He couldn't imagine leaving Helle's side now for anything in the world, not even to escape Xexys. Helle was touching him in the same way that Dream Adam touched Theo in all of the daydreams he'd been forced to watch while Despina struggled to ignore them, so this had to be what a couple in love did, right?
His parents had never really explained what happened between two people in love, except for what was absolutely forbidden by the Watcher. Unmarried teens who kissed and got naked with anyone else were committing a sin. It was still a sin to kiss someone with your clothes on, but doing it while naked was definitely worse. Unmarried people didn't sleep in the same bed, but it was okay to sleep in the same room as your friends, like Abercius was doing with the Tredonians. Obviously, having kids was a part of this potentially sinful process too, since Helena had admitted as much when Phuong got pregnant, and their mother had threatened to murder their father if his affair had resulted in a child.
He would ask the Tredonians about it when he rejoined them, and follow Helle's example until then. She seemed to know what she was doing.
The two teens pulled away from each other with a painful yelp, as the sensation of freezing ice ran through their bodies.
"I can see you. I know what you did. Let me help you when the time comes. It's less confusing when someone can walk you through it. I'm sorry for my part in this. Souls deserve to rest after a long life."
As quickly as the man had appeared, he was suddenly gone.
"Did you see that too?" Helle hissed, looking around her for a ghost or someone with a camera trying to prank her. "I didn't just imagine that, right?"
Abercius shook his head, trying to understand what had just happened for himself.
"No, I felt it too. That was the deity Despina talks to. The one trying to help us. I don't know what they mean though. What did we do? Do I need to ask Despina to get some clarification or is this a private thing?"
"It's directed at me," Helle assured her partner. "It's about my dreams. He must be sending them to me. Maybe he knows how to connect with Absydee. But what did I do? Does this god require offerings like the Watcher does? Is that what he's asking for?"
"They don't want offerings like the Proxy orders," Abercius explained, suddenly focused on a particular painting of Helle's. "They say that we shouldn't sacrifice people like the Proxy says because the Watcher doesn't care either way if we do it. Despina says that Lukas is a bit like me, and that they're not a he. They're both or neither or something else entirely, I didn't ask because I don't think she knows, but they're not a he."
"That's so interesting. You have something in common with a god, Abby! There's so much of this world that the Proxy has kept from us that we need to expose to the others. That's them in the painting, isn't it? I dreamed about them before, what feels like a million years ago. I guess they've been watching over me for a while now. The person who bought that painting looked a lot like them, but they haven't come to claim it yet. Maybe they're waiting for me to...to...I don't know. I wish I knew what these dreams meant and why I keep having them. It's like there's something I'm supposed to remember, but it just won't come into focus."
"I should probably go," Abercius announced, reaching for the pile of clothing he'd left on the floor. "This is all getting to be really overwhelming, and I think I might be better back with the Tredonians. They're probably wondering where I am now and worrying."
"Was the vision too much?" Helle asked anxiously. "I'm sorry, I don't know how to make them stop. The god wants me though, not you, so you don't need to be worried. You're perfectly safe."
"No, I see enough visions because of Despina's work. I should just get back to the others before they start looking for me."
"Did we move too fast? Is that why you're leaving? We can keep our clothes on from now on if you'd like. Other people just seemed to like taking that next step faster, but we don't have to-"
"It's nothing, I promise," Abercius lied. "It's not the dreams or the kissing or the dead woman you've plastered your walls with. I should just get back to the others. I hope you can get some sleep tonight, Helle. I'll see you later."
Helle watched Abercius leave with a heavy heart. He'd come to spend time with her, to talk to her about his dreams, and she'd blown it somehow. She was a lot to deal with, and maybe Abercius couldn't handle it, despite how strongly he cared for her. The dreams, the deity stalking her, the fact that she'd really tried to tell him that she was trying to paint a woman into existence...she wouldn't blame him if he was scared away. No one should want to make out in a room filled floor to ceiling with pictures of a dead woman and the old king.
What was she thinking? Of course Abercius had left. She would have to make it up to him somehow. But until then, Helle reached for her paintbrush and picked up an unfinished canvas. She still had painting to do.
I remember sitting on that Pleasantview hill and looking down at the world below me. It all seemed so small, so unimportant. The castle was still uninhabited by a monarch and wouldn't be for centuries. The city below was growing larger every year, and what would become the Pleasantview coven was beginning to form as witches and warlocks began to band together against the demons.
The only thing that remained unchanged about Pleasantview was the portal leading to Jubilant Accosts, and the need to protect it. Both Life and Death were needed to reseal the portal, which meant that I couldn't avoid Izanami any longer. He had a duty to complete, and even if he couldn't bring himself to care about me, Izanami had always been obsessed with his duty.
I heard his footsteps before he could speak. Clearly, my attempts against him had thrown him off enough that he was beginning to slip up. If I had still believed that I could hurt him, it would have been an excellent opportunity.
"Just cast your part of the spell and leave," I ordered, staring at the ground to avoid having to look at the only person I'd ever loved. It was easier that way; I might have had a moment of weakness and lost my heart all over again if I'd stared into those golden eyes.
"Lukas, be reasonable. We don't need to fight anymore. I don't even know what I've done to make you hate me so much. We have to work together. It's how things are meant to be."
Don't fall for his charm, mortal. He didn't even know why he was apologizing, despite me repeatedly shouting what he'd done at him over the years. He didn't have the right to still be angry about the whole mess with Violet, the murder prone "reaper." My plan had failed, and he had won. Really, I should be the one upset concerning the whole thing.
He extended his hand towards me and released some of the magic of his realm, expecting me to do the same.
"Whatever gets you to leave as fast as possible."
The magic of our combined realms sealed the portal beside us. I watched the energy of Life and Death swirl together, becoming one. That same combination had once sparked a potential new life in me, one that Izanami had been ashamed of.
Suddenly, the idea of sealing of this realm seemed like a cruel joke. Why were we only compatible in this one instance? If Life and Death cancelled each other out in every other circumstance, why did this stupid door to a condemned realm even matter? I could give life to anything except a piece of Death. I could create a line of champions to serve my realm, and I could make a convincing (though a little homicidal) reaper to execute my plans. I was needed to seal away a demon of considerable power, but I couldn't have the life I wanted. The family I wanted. The love of the man I wanted.
Maybe it's easier to serve the realm of the dead. Izanami oversees the ending of lives, the ending of stories. Mortals lose their lives to him, Death is loss. Death is finality. Life is potential. Maybe that's why I don't handle loss well. Well, that or Izanami could be right about the family I come from, and our spectacular penchant for drama.
I remember him reaching out for me, and feeling an uncontrollable rage overtake me in response.
"I wish you were dead! I want you to be dead! I don't want to share any realm with you, even if it means living in fucking Jubilant Accosts! You've already ruined any chance of happiness that I had, so piss off and leave me alone! Just leave me alone! We've done our job, so fucking leave!"
It wasn't my finest hour, I can admit to that much.
it would take two reincarnations and me lightly torching the afterlife for Izanami to admit how much I'd succeeded in hurting him. How he did have feelings that confused him very much. At the time though, he'd said nothing, which was probably the worst thing he could have done.
"I won't bother you any further. I'll see you the next time we need to reseal this realm. It was nice seeing you, Lukas."
We never met again regarding Jubilant Accosts. There were a few more instances where we needed to work together, but they were brief.
Eventually, I realized that if I couldn't remove Death from existence, I could do everything in my power to make him want to leave on his own.
I married one of his reapers and had several kids, just to prove that I could create life. Reapers are mere shadows of Death, and are capable of having children with both living mortals and other reapers. Most of them were once alive before working for Death, meaning that at some point, they had been within my control. It's surprisingly easy to manipulate reapers when you keep that in mind. I made a pretty convincing reaper myself for a very long time.
I created better false reapers, who I used to spy on Izanami and his realm. He's never admitted if he could tell that they didn't belong among his staff, even to this day. They're something I discuss with Gee now, as Izanami usually leaves the room when they're brought up.
I tried my best to get closer to my parents once they died and we officially met. That was a shitshow of its own, but eventually Riley and Leander were born. I had siblings to love and nurture in ways that I know that I failed with my own children. (After finally getting therapy to deal with reincarnating twice and my successful capture of the Crystal Cove throne, I can admit that my ex-wife is right to hate me. The kids too.)
And it all worked. Izanami retired during the Demon Wars, taking off to some tropical place he refuses to name, just in case he needs to escape there again. I think he's joking about that. Either way, I had my wish: Izanami was gone.
I didn't realize the cost of my actions back then or how I would hurt people over the centuries just as badly as Izanami had hurt me.
I remember that day in Pleasantview and the anger coursing through me. I remember feeling constrained by my duties and the frustration of the inevitable course of life being ended by death. Everything I could create would one day end up in Izanami's realm. I couldn't give life to any part of Death despite that being my greatest wish. So I lashed out.
And she was there. I can see it now. Here, free from the bias of my own memory, I can see her. Izanami's reaper was watching from the other side of the portal.
She saw what I did.
And now I know what she did.
A burning soul. I didn't think it was possible. I never intended for this to happen. This is something that Gee's going to freak out about when he finds out. Maybe Izanami will find it funny. It's probably karma catching up with me after all these years of living recklessly.
"Thank you, mortal," Lukas intoned, still reeling from their experience. "That was very helpful. I know now what I need to know. This isn't the work of the demon; this was my own mistake."
Despina stumbled as the trance ended. While the experience had apparently been helpful for the deity, Despina was more confused than ever. Lukas' dreams were loud and powerful and she'd been absolutely right that she couldn't control them the same way she could control her own. They weren't as aggressive as Helle's had been, but Lukas had very much been the one in control of them. Despina doubted that even her father could have interfered with the dreams of a deity, though he would have undoubtedly tried.
The experience had been exhilarating as much as it had been overwhelming. She was going to have to make a record of this to preserve every little detail she could remember. Maybe this encounter would be passed down to another dream magic student, just as King Reyes' records had been passed to her. Still, thank god that Xexys hadn't shown up.
"I'd ask you to keep what you saw in confidence," Lukas said. They looked to be in control of themselves again, ready to once again vanish from sight to carry on their secretive work. "I don't know how much of that you were able to see, but some things aren't intended for mortals to know. Especially some of my earlier...mistakes."
Despina nodded in agreement, despite knowing that she was definitely going to write as much of what she could remember down as soon as possible. Well, she could probably cut out some of the drama and pettiness. She'd hate to be remembered for the worst fight she and Jasper had had.
Theo and Adam had come downstairs for breakfast, only to find the Life deity very clearly involved in some kind of magic with Despina. It wasn't the strangest thing to happen during their time in Jubilant Accosts, and it was somewhat reassuring to finally confirm that Lukas really was doing something to help their mission, whatever it was the two of them had been up to.
"I'm getting a coffee before Despina tries to explain this," Theo announced. "I have a feeling that this is going to be a long story."
I can see it all unfold before me, like it should have been obvious this whole time. Me and Izanami. Together. The dreams I'd envisioned for us. Two soulmates. Life and Death.
This had to have started in Pleasantview. All of it did.
My father, Linus, is the son of Brandi Broke of Pleasantview. His father married Brandi after tragically losing his first wife and children. Their relationship was short-lived, as both of them were really just looking to make the hurt of losing their spouses go away. Linus was never accepted by his half-brothers and always felt that his parents were distant from him, their unhappy mistake.
You could see the Pleasantview castle from the Broke house. No monarch lived in it as the government was then comprised of several councils, all controlled by demons with various agendas, especially ones extending the never ending war across the known world. The castle rose from the ruins of Tredony, and even without a monarch, it was still maintained for private events. A glittering symbol of a long ago past. Just another reminder of the inequality that ravaged Pleasantview.
Beau and Dustin Broke often stared at the castle in the distance, imagining how different their lives may have been if they were raised there instead of a trailer in the cheaper part of Pleasantview.
They would feel better about their lot in life if they could see how Pleasantview is now. I've seen what Gee pays to house reapers in Pleasantview, and it's staggering. I grew up in an orphanage in Crystal Cove in my most recent incarnation and nearly toppled that government because of the inequality between the rich and the poor. Stealing expensive jewelry from the monarchies isn't just a hobby I do for fun. I can't interfere in the governments of the living, but I can temporarily seize their wealth and make them uncomfortable. Maybe there is some spirit of the Broke family in me after all.
"Beau, I don't know why you bother staring out there. She's never coming home, you know that."
He's referring to their mother. Brandi was last seen heading towards the gardens of Shawn III, down the road from the castle. She went missing when my father was in college. He blames himself for her disappearance and his brothers do too, despite him being on the college campus when it happened. Linus loves to play a martyr whenever he can.
The living have never answered the mystery of Brandi's disappearance, especially when they assume it was related to the disappearance of Bella Goth. I've read so many books about alien abductions or a possible serial killer on the loose in Pleasantview. Books and movies have been dedicated to solving this mystery and I devour each and every one of them. It's fascinating to see how the mortals approach this "puzzle" over the generations, especially since I've always known the answer.
Brandi was sneaking out towards the castle to meet with her demon lover when she was attacked by a vampire and dragged into the gardens. I was there; it wasn't like Izanami was going to reap my grandmother without me being there after all. Bella's case was completely separate from Brandi's and had something to do with aliens. I don't really know much about aliens, so I only know the basics about the case.
Beau never stopped looking for his mother, while Dustin focused his rage on the half-brother he never wanted and Linus' dramatics about how he somehow pushed their mother away while being in a different city the entire time.
How do I know this?
I people watch as a profession. I've spent most of my career as Life watching people, learning about how they think and act when they think no one is watching. I manipulated my line of champions in later centuries the same way. I spent hours in the Broke residence, in my parents' military headquarters, and following my living half-siblings around for centuries. I appear in the background of photographs over the centuries and have been the basis of at least two popular ghost stories.
Izanami used to come too. In those early days, neither of us realized what we were meant to be to each other. The Ocean wasn't exactly helpful in that regard either, despite knowing that he'd made me to complete Izanami.
So, yeah, we definitely had a physical relationship since pretty much the moment we met, but neither of us knew how to process the intense feelings we felt for each other. Following me around was apparently Izanami's way of trying to learn about me and about humans in general.
And he had a lot of data to learn from whenever we watched my parents. They were frequently stationed in Pleasantview, as Linus had been born there, and occasionally bumped into the Brokes.
It was always messy. You can't put Linus anywhere without him being the absolute worst and Dustin constantly seemed to fall for Linus' attempts to goad him into a fight. Dustin was happily married with a family of his own, but Linus' fame and military success drove him up the wall, especially when Linus would brag about it.
Eventually, Linus was reassigned to the nation that would one day become Crystal Cove and Dustin gradually let go of some of his hatred for my father now that he was in a different country entirely. Dustin died an old man who, according to reapers, has never attempted to find my father in the afterlife even once. I'm happy for him. I wish that I had the luxury of releasing my anger at Linus, but when he's half of your genetic makeup, you aren't really given that choice.
But family drama was only a part of my time spent in Pleasantview. The castle that loomed over the town held a secret, one that must always be hidden for the safety of two realms. On the edges of the border of Old Tredony, the castle hid the sealed border between Jubilant Accosts and our realm.
Before my creation, Life, Death, and the very first human born reaper sealed the realm to lock away Xexys, the Demon of Nightmares. This was when the reaper team, including this Absydee, was sealed away in Xexys' realm along with Rani and the Dream Guardian.
Life, a pale, hideous creation, had been created at the same time as Izanami and meant to be his equal. Life got greedy though, and rebelled against the Ocean's plans. He became the first demonic sovereign in an attack that left the Ocean without a corporal form. The position of deity of Life was empty, and the world became unbalanced.
The demonic sovereign had feelings for Izanami, even if Izanami was blind to it. Izanami swears that there was nothing between them, but I know that that first devil couldn't take his eyes off Izanami.
Time went on, and eventually, the Ocean had the ability to create me to balance the universe once again.
With the passage of time, and the chaos of a universe that had no Life deity to counteract Death, the seal on the realm of Jubilant Accosts weakened. It was up to Izanami and me to reseal it, something I wasn't sure I could do. It was one of my very first duties and was as intimidating as all hell to think about. An entire realm needed to be resealed and it was up to me to make sure that I didn't let Izanami down or let two realms suffer under Xexys.
"You're going to finish this task adequately," Izanami assured me. He'd made an accurate guess at my feelings, and comforted me in a way that seemed appropriate to a confused immortal. As Gee has often noted, Izanami has improved since our reunion all these centuries later. He's still a bit stilted with mortals and Gee, but he shares absolutely everything with me now. It's amazing that we stayed together as long as we did back then.
To my horror, the original sealers of Jubilant Accosts were waiting to greet us. Jordan, the first formerly mortal reaper (and my uncle through Linus), and my predecessor. No doubt the leader of all demons was after the energy contained in Jubilant Accosts and to possibly attempt to get Xexys under his control. I'm sure Jordan had a scheme of his own, but my attention was focused solely on my predecessor.
Facing the demonic sovereign was intimidating. I was made to replace him after all. What if I wasn't as strong as he was? What if I completely failed to seal Jubilant Accosts away? What if he made a move on Izanami and Izanami reciprocated? Did Izanami really care about me or was I just convenient?
I shouldn't have doubted him. Even if he didn't understand what he was feeling for me, Izanami made it very clear where he stood with my predecessor. He threatened them both if they so much as looked in my direction again. Which, well, didn't really make me any more confident in my skills, even if it was touching. The last thing I needed was for Death to completely overshadow me and promise to protect poor, weak Lukas.
But I stumbled my way through the sealing of Jubilant Accosts just fine. The original seal had been broken, and the realm would need to be resealed every few centuries to maintain Xexys' prison, but I had succeeded. Using that much of my power triggered part of my true form, and I discovered my wings for the first time while in the living realm. I didn't even know they could appear while in the living realm or that I could control so much of how I appeared to the mortals. There was still so much that I had to learn about myself back then.
The first Demonic Sovereign was an asshole, which was probably why he became a demon in the first place. I'd never seen his original, angelic form, but I'd imagine that it was just as ugly as his demonic form. He'd underestimated me, and decided to ramble off some boring threats that I didn't even pay attention to. I could see his eyes follow Izanami. Maybe he hadn't even come there that day to fulfill some evil scheme. Maybe he was just here to see Izanami again.
If a demon could die of jealousy, the Demonic Sovereign would have died on the spot after Izanami came to compliment my performance. He inspected the wings (which I was still trying to figure out how to make vanish) by running his finger down the length of the bone.
"Much better than your predecessor's," he said approvingly, shooting the Demonic Sovereign a look that I couldn't interpret. Whatever it meant, I was still winning.
I don't want to dwell too deeply on the physical relationship between Izanami and I, since there's a teenager eavesdropping in this dream. Suffice to say, we had an active sex life that started within twenty minutes of meeting each other. Izanami never said that he loved me; I don't think he even knew what love meant back then. It was a game that mortals played with each other, one that he didn't understand.
I loved him desperately. He was my only family for decades, the only and best friend I had. I dreamed about having the same milestones that I saw the mortals complete. I wanted to get married. I wanted to have kids. I wanted to settle down with the man who my life revolved around.
Then one day, I discovered that I was pregnant. We weren't trying for a baby, but we weren't exactly being safe either. Life and Death are incompatible with each other on a fundamental level, so we assumed that a pregnancy could never happen, as much as I longed for one.
I planned it all out in my head. How I was going to tell Izanami. How soon I would expect him to propose. What names I would pick. I had an order of flowers for a wedding bouquet on standby, and I nearly burst with excitement trying to keep this secret from Izanami's son, Gee. Gee had been an accident of the Ocean's, so Izanami had never experienced a pregnancy or a birth before and I knew that both Gee and his father were going to be thrilled with my news. At long last, I was going to have a family. Everything I'd wanted was finally happening.
Until one day, I woke up on the office floor, suddenly not pregnant. I'd miscarried, if you could call it that. My body had overwhelmed the piece of Death hiding within me, destroying it to protect the safety of the deity of Life from the realm of Death. I don't know how we made that spark of life together or any of the pregnancies I'd had since getting back together with Izanami. Losing our child was the most emotionally painful thing I'd experienced in my relatively short life, and I wanted to rush immediately into Izanami's arms to mourn the future I'd dreamed of together.
Mortal, if you're hearing this, know that my husband is different these days. I'm different too. Izanami has never been a man of many words or feelings, and if you ever see the Grim Reaper in passing, know that he could tell you an endless amount of examples of his father being insensitive and blunt. Izanami is better at realizing that people have feelings, hopes, and fears now. He does his best, and I'm proud of him.
However, when we were young, Izanami made no attempt to understand people or their needs. Everything was black and white, and having a son who never stopped needing emotional validation and love was an inconvenience or an embarrassment.
When I told Izanami about my miscarriage, he was not sympathetic. His exact words are burned forever into my mind. Even reincarnating twice couldn't wipe them away.
"That's a relief. I couldn't imagine having a child with you. With the family you come from? It would be worse than having Gee around."
He left the room and closed the door behind him. He didn't even ask if I was okay or what he could do to help. He didn't love me like I loved him.
I was humiliated. No one else knew about the pregnancy, but practically every reaper in existence had seen us together, tearing each other's clothes off. They thought that I was a reaper, that Izanami was sleeping with a subordinate. But I wasn't his subordinate. I was his equal.
I was a god.
I technically can't cause a death. Technically. I have my workarounds, mortal, but to kill Death? That would be impossible. And I wanted him dead, gone, whatever would make the constant ache in my chest go away.
It was an ambitious goal, one that I know now was doomed to fail. Just as those witches in Strangetown learned, killing the Grim Reaper was next to impossible. Killing Death? It couldn't be done.
I was still young enough to try. I created the first of my creations to do what I couldn't: kill. Like me, the others assumed she was a reaper, but Violet was dangerous, and unstable. I ordered her to attack Izanami, but she targeted living targets instead, including people the Ocean had marked for their own projects.
Because she passed for a reaper and wasn't afraid to kill, Izanami was blamed for Violet's actions. He knew exactly what I'd done, but couldn't understand why. He couldn't understand the pain of a broken heart. He couldn't understand causing such pain to the person you were made to complete. Violet was destroyed, and I used the experience to hone my skills for later.
We didn't speak much after that. We still had to work together from time to time, but I made it very clear that I wasn't interested in speaking to him.
Instead, I poured my pain, and my anger into whatever power I had.
One night, Isabel wakes with a start, freezing, on the floor.
Ugh, she must've fallen out of the top bunk again! And stupid Joseph and Bertram didn't even notice! At least it doesn't hurt that much this time, and she doesn't seem to have any broken bones.
Did she have a nightmare? Isabel can't remember, but she's so awake all of a sudden, and so hungry. She can hear the boys snoring in their beds, as always, but Aunt Margery tossing and turning in the other room, too? Everything's way too loud, and the room is strangely bright...
A few months ago, I began testing colors from @pooklet's 2022 The Endless Harvest palette on various build and buy objects.
I chose only 5 colors from the palette (the unique blues, greens, and red): awakened, blazing, gleaming, haunting, and miasma.
Here is a remastered version of 6 Maxis floors I previously shared on Discord. There are 3 stone floors, 2 tile floors, and 1 wood floor in this color palette.
\^o^/ hi!
three tops today on meshes by kaluxsims, SkittlesSims and Lucilla!
the Zoe top is just some of the original printed recolours since Lucilla did the solids. It's probably not all of them, just the ones I liked. If someone did this already they probably did all of them but I couldn't find it thanks to Googling being essentially useless now. :F
I think the SamanthaTop texture has some stuff from BlackLily but it's also been about eight million years since I did this so correct me if I am mistaken. D:
Samantha Top
download (TF-AF)
4t2 GP05 Sweat Cropped
download (TF-AF)
4t2 AxA Zoe Top
download (AF)
Today I felt a sudden impulse to change John Burb's face to look more like his daughter.
Then, it occurred to me that his wife uses the same face template as he does, just with some teeny tiny edits.
So I used the same sliders as used when creating his wife but dragged them in the opposite direction (so for example, instead of eyes narrower, I made his wider).
I have no clue if anyone would ever have use for this, but in case you were to
Download on SFS!
No CC included, defaults are in preview pic however.
super cozy pajamas for all your fellows!
this is megamassikalove's conversion of the pajamas from the Golden Years pack (yes, I will take the whole pack please, thanks. <3) and it was love at first sight before the conversion so I KNEW if it was done I was recolouring it. XD AND THEN DeeDee was a doll and made AM and TM conversions T_T so I am a happy moogle. thank you thank you thank you both <3
Goat was so very lovely and made this easy for me by supplying a psd and I am so grateful because I can get overwhelmed by things that need a lot of little bits like this. (not that that has stopped me before but.. lately I'm swamped XD) no1curr i know
So thank you so much Goat. <3
because of the mapping of the socks being on the back of the cardigan they will pick up that texture.. so yes, your nice knit cardigan includes fuzzy knit socks. You can decide if that's a dealbreaker for you. :D
also, I did this for elder males first so TM and AM will be repository to that this time.
patterns are from spoonflower artists. <3 (the cardi texture is actually from ts3 as well)
download (TM-AM-EM) repo to EM files this time so you will need those for the other ages to work
Paperwork📝: No matter where I go, Chucky will always find me
Presented alongside Velco!
Now your Sims can do paperwork at home and get paid when they're done! A small item designed for those who need a few extra bills.
a cloned object from the MogHug manuscript
Options:
Do paperwork: The Sim will sit down to write, finish after a while, take the paperwork to the mailbox, and be rewarded with Simoleons.
Continue paperwork: If you interrupt the writing, you can resume it whenever you want.
Reassign owner: If the Sim who was writing is busy, you can assign another Sim to do the paperwork.
This wonderful article can be found in Hobbies/Knowledge.
Important update: Remember when I said it was a clone of the manuscript? Looks like I forgot to change the GUID. Damn, that's embarrassing. Anyway, download the file again so it doesn't conflict with the original manuscript. Download here.
