reporting for duty

26 yr old shameless nerd!!

[potsandpains]

just babbling on here to help my brain

“Forgiveness comes through empathy and realizing you feel sorry for your offender”

[potsandpains]

Guess who upped her dosage on her antidepressant and is feeling betterrrrrrr

It’s ME

[potsandpains]

lil rant

my mental health has been SO BAD WITH PREGNANCY

usually the way I handle my mental health is through diet and exercise- both things that I have been unable to control in first trimester

I got sick this week and all my first trimester symptoms returned- I am throwing up a bunch, exhausted, and mostly, so so so so anxious

and it’s winter here and boy am I seasonally affected and I’m so nervous and so sad and I can’t calm down and I’m so sick and so so achy and I don’t know what on earth to do about it!!!!!!!

[potsandpains]

one of the weirdest things about being pregnant is I feel like my food noise has kinda disappeared

like I used to think about food 24/7 and it was really hard not to eat everything in sight all the time

I have an entire bowl of chocolate in my kitchen that has been sitting for over a month bc I keep forgetting it’s there

[potsandpains]

someone else should see this bc I thought I was funny

[potsandpains]

I am apparently just the brand of stubborn that I am not finding out our baby’s gender purely bc I don’t want people’s unsolicited opinions on whatever gender we’re having

I would rather not know and keep everyone in the dark just so I don’t have to deal with everyone else’s weird intrusive comments 🙃

[potsandpains]

more pregnancy magic: I have eaten a chick fil a sandwich every day for 4 days straight bc it’s one of the only things I can eat and not throw up

[potsandpains]

maybe my mother in law reacted weird to me telling them I’m pregnant bc she hoped me and my husband would get divorced and she’d get a second shot at a daughter in law but now that I’ve trapped him with a baby that’s not an option

[potsandpains]

just told my in laws I’m pregnant and that we’re so excited for them to be grandparents and that we know they’ll be great and the FIRST THING my mother in law said was “well I hope you let us” and then was weird and distant the rest of the evening

we’re off to a great start

expecting your daughter in law to be your bestie and being mad that’s she chooses to spend more time with her own mom than with you is confusing to me

I’ve tried so hard to be kind and to open up and to be a good family member but I just feel kind of iced out and I’m just worried things are going to be so much harder with this little baby

[potsandpains]

I am at my husbands grandparents cabin with a bunch of his cousins and aunts and uncles and everyone is SO annoying and SO LOUD and has a dumb sense of humor and the thermostat is always set to 80 degrees so it’s SO HOT and I want to go HOME

I can’t stop throwing up and I have vertigo and everything smells weird and everyone is making jokes about me being pregnant (even tho I haven’t told anyone) which is ANNOYING

and his cousins are not watching their own kids and they’re so annoying and so crusty and I hate it here and I want to go HOME right NOW

[potsandpains]

my in-laws fight a lot and when they are not fighting they will call each other “love” bc even tho they don’t seem to like each other very much after thirty years there’s love there I guess??

it makes me gag bc it feels so fake and phony anyway i can’t handle it when my husband calls me “love” bc it just reminds me of them and i 🥴

[potsandpains]

I love my husband and I’m so grateful he’s my best friend

I’m grateful he’s my immediate family and the father of my child

I’m grateful he never makes me feel crazy or less than

I’m grateful he’s actually an equal partner and pulls his weight

He’s honestly such a blessing I’m so so so thankful

[potsandpains]

In today’s episode of pregnancy hormones are brutal

I absolutely sobbed watching mamma mia bc of how it describes female friendships and how lovely and sad motherhood is

I cannot get a grip oh my word

[potsandpains]

I just had a burrito so good I feel it might change the trajectory of my life

[potsandpains]

oooooh the absolute rage I get when invited to plans where no one has thought ANYTHING THROUGH

[potsandpains]

my morning sickness improved by one (1) iota today so I ate a bunch of nerds clusters and now I am doing w o r s e r t h a n b e f o r e

yes

w o r s e r

[potsandpains]

in today’s episode of pregnancy is ✨magic✨

today I threw up so hard I peed my pants 👍🏻