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what hegel teaches us: every fixed point of view dissolves itself when you pay attention to it and examine all the details. this is the kind of insight that matters for me when reading philosophy. not repeating the content--but figuring out how on earth that intelligent person does what she does.

while smelling the air, i understood someone has been there before. this is taking what is perceived as a sign. and h. says this is our default mode–we do not perceive things-as-having-determinations, but things as telling us something. when examining my usual experience, this seems to make more sense than when i was examining what happened during the more "reduced" state of paying attention.

she came up today with the insight that you can figure out whether you have strong convictions by examining what is behind the claims you present to the other or behind the feeling of annoyance. it seems to make sense.

philosophizing is playing it safe while still feeling ok with the unknown--this is what a method is for.

the kind of arrogance that prevents others from insisting on shit--because they are afraid of what you might say about it and about them--works wonders when you know your stuff and want to do it without too much hassle.

a body--sitting--breathing--in contact with the surface around it--in contact with itself--tongue on the palate or knees touching or legs interlocked. this is _what_ i am--and it does not matter _how_ am i--the mostly negative or mostly positive emotional tonality--this is what will be there, as a background, as long as i will be.

she said the use of moral dilemmas is becoming aware, again, of what defines her.

it seems that live thinking about a sentence in public is a dying art form.

the affects of reading--holding an object that affects you in countless ways--continuing to hold it while letting it affect you--in countless ways--putting the object aside while carrying its mark.

rereading old notes: the function of a system is economy of thought. making you able to deal with something while using ready-made concepts. able to say--ahhh, this is not new, i already know this. for some time, i wanted to have instruments that would enable me to do just that. now i try to use them as rarely as possible--because thinking is enjoyable. more enjoyable than repeating what you already know. when i say what i already know, i become bored.

smart people are lazy and lack discipline--they have become accustomed with the fact they get things quickly--and when they do not, they become disappointed and they stop doing anything. i think we know nothing about a lot of insightful thinkers, because they did not think they are good enough to write anything. or, if they started writing, they did not have the discipline to continue. we know, usually, about the stubborn ones--the vain ones--and the ones who thought they have a special mission.

the eagerness to understand prevents understanding. when one thinks of her understanding as "partial", one tends to want more--and to doubt the possibility of understanding the text on one's own--which seems to me, now, the only valuable--and possible--form of understanding. the rest is knowledge.

those who don't want to chew the text themselves--only cows chew--they see reading as gaining new information--and the texts that don't talk about new stuff are worthless for them.

she said: i have to understand that expectations are only in my head and things might happen or not. is what you are saying now difficult to understand, i said. no. then why do you say you have to understand this?

something resisting to you becomes obvious for you and traps your whole attention. like a headache. or a rejection. as long as things don't resist to us, we don't notice them.

showing each other what you have seen in the text--and where--and discussing whether it is there or not. this is the most basic--and fruitful--practice in the humanities.

instruments for groping your way through theoretical texts: paraphrase. identifying presuppositions and questioning them. describing your own parallel experiences. imagining alternatives. but the most important: attention. and the patience from which it comes.

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