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🐝

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I, @persnrandm, beequeath this blog to my friend Beenard the Bee (bi/bim). Bee nice <3

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Conclusion

Creator: and that’s why we never make Edge sneeze or Papyrus puke.

Red: that’s fucking stupid

Blue: language!

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Blue calls Stretch

Blue: friendship is magic, papy! Friendship is magic!

Stretch nods and disapears. Appears in Tale’s house to put on My Little Pony.

Red and Sans pout about not liking it but clearly like it, not fighting Blue anymore.

Stretch shortcuts Papyrus and Edge back. The four of them chill at the table while Red and Sans relax to MLP.

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Next Chapter- undertale

Stretch and Blue stop by to find in undertale to find a snow fort with Papyrus and Edge in it. Edge is drawing up war plans of how to properly restrain Red the next time. Papyrus is arguing for communication whilst also contacting Alphys for a secure bunker.

Blue assumes that they are playing nice as always. Then, he finds Sans and Red playing nice which is oddly strange.

He quickly finds out what’s happening. Stretch seems pretty understanding of the situation and gives some suggestions for catching them jokingly. “Papy!”

“couldn’t help myself” he grins

Red and Sans ask if Blue has a similar ailment to the siracha spitting Edge and the machine gunning Papyrus. Blue and Stretch say no. Super confused.

A new war breaks out when there’s a half-sneeze from the barracks of the snow fort. Red is on edge. There’s also the sound of gagging.

Stretch goes to Edge and Papyrus to help get away with shortcuts while Blue wrestles Red and Sans through shortcuts to get them to calm the fuck down.

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Papyrus storms back to the house to help Edge clean up the incident.

Red leans over to Sans with a shit eating grin, “need a lil help?”

“Yes,” sans grumbles

“Gonna cost ya.”

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Papyrus makes a gaging sound

Sans: paps, we gotta get that checked out

Papyrus: no! I’ve been dealing with it my whole life. I can handle it.

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*after explosion*

Papyrus: Edge-me? *heisitantly* are you okay? Is that blood?

Edge: no, just siracha.

Sans: *to red* you were serious?

Red: ‘course I fuckin’ was?!! Why da fak would I joke about that!!? This is serious nose-blowin’ buisness.

Sans: is this common here?

Red: ain’t this a think in tale?

Sans shakes his head, quite disturbed.

Sans: we have nothin’ like this.

Papyrus shifts from foot to foot.

Papyrus: not exactly, brother.

Sans: paps, whatcha talkin’ about?

Papyrus: you see... sometimes when I get sick and throw up magic...

Sans: so those weren’t from your bone attacks?

Papyrus: yes.. I’m afraid I expell a volley of bullets as an automatic rifle would when I puke.

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Edge manages to escape

Red goes into the basement to find Sans and Papyrus eating sandwiches.

Sans: done already?

Red: no, still got somethin’ er other stuck up there.

*grumble whispers* need yer help

Sans: no

Papyrus: Sans! Of course we’ll help, what can I, The Great Papyrus—

Red: help me pin down my brother so I can blow his nose

Papyrus pauses for a long distraught moment, looking to Sans who shakes his head abysmally. Papyrus sits back done, smiles charitably.

Papyrus: I believe.. that is something you and your brother need to discuss his boundaries about.

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Edge: I’m not a babybones anymore! I am perfectly capable of blowing my own nose.

Red: not without causing property damage!

Sans shortcuts in with groceries to find Red on top of Edge with his legs splayed and hand over his mouth.

Sans drops the groceries. “I don’ even wanna know.” Shortcuts out

Discussion on giving them some private time with Papyrus on other side of door.

Edge: you are going to pay for that, runt.

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Sans: I can’t reach you when you’re standing up. Bend the fuck down!

Papyrus: Sans... we don’t even have noses.

Sans: doesn’ matter, boss. Gotta do it. S’for yer good.

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Person A: aww, man! My nose is stuffy.

Person B: I’ll blow your nose!

*grabs nose*

Person A: what the FUCK are you doing?

Person B: I can’t let you blow your nose alone. Not after what happened last time. I cannot stand to see you hurt, dearly beloved.

Person A: ...

Person B: let me do this one thing for you.

Person A: please don’t.

*explosion noises*

Person B: how could it have gone so wrong?

Person A: toldja so. Now, if you ever touch my nose again—

Person B: — how do you EVEN store that much C4 in your nasal cavity?!! Doesn’t it hurt?

Person A: no. I’ve been training for this my entire life.

*B’s eyes sparkle in aw*

Person B: woah... you still need to get that checked out. I don’t think that’s healthy.

*pokes charred remanents of nose*

Person A: probably not but I’ve seen worse.

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“  Somehow, though, he doubted that Blue was the type to casually offer narcotics to a guest—especially not a drug that was also rumored to be an aphrodisiac. “

Broken Bones, Chapter 3 by Lady_Kit

“So many sheep,” Paps grumbles to himself in his sleep. They are all so comfortable. He has to doze off. Napping while also in a dream is the best. It’s like double the pleasure for half of the price.

“I’m glad you’re comfortable, my child.” One of the sheep turns around to reveal that Paps was sleeping on Asgore. 

“Fucking stars!” Paps stumbles back off the couch to his brother’s feet. “hey, bro.” Paps laughs awkwardly, “what’s updog?”

That’s when Paps finally notices the tears rolling down Blue’s cheeks. His blue magic already stained his pajama shirt as he tried to to speak. “E-e-edge is-is hurt. I don’t know what to do, Papy. I gave him the spider cider and I--I got another guest high on accident!” Blue breaks into harsher sobs.

Paps brings Blue in for a hug, biting back the worst of his amusement from his voice. “s’alright. we’ve all accidentally drugged our guests before.”

Blue sniffles, “really? You mean it?”

“yes.” Paps says definitively but he’s glad that Blue holds on for a little longer. If he separated from their hug now, he’d get front row seats to Paps cracking up. 

It wasn’t entirely Blue’s fault. Both the narcotic laced cider and the normal cider looked identical at the shop. While Blue had an eye for detail, sometimes the narcotic cider had very cute cartoons on them and Blue had a tendency to forget that it was an additional marker for the drug. His bro is the coolest but he could be a bit.. forgetful when aesthetics were involved. 

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In the days of old, we had lotion bodies. A time honored tradition wherest with one found oneself in a conundrum of using far too much lotion of the sun. One didn’t want to waste the expensive lather so one would inquire of the closest of companions to rub betwist the arms to share the valued comodity.

In time since past, we could share our bodies, our lotions and our love. We now find ourselves in a new time. It’s unclear of how long it with last. Yet one thing is certain, it will impact us long into the future for those scared by this calamity. For one, a kind word makes all the difference.

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Person A; plenty of fucks ready to be given, sir!

Person B: deploy the fucks!

Person C: deploy the fucks!

Person D: get dunked on!

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Pikachu grabs Jigglypuff by the cuff of her shirt, pulling her close so they can see eye to eye, “Why the hell would you do this if you knew how much it could cost you!?”

Jiggly winces the bruises from her little rescue burn all over her body. “Because no matter the cost, it’s always worth it, so long as it means keeping you safe.” She smiles, but even that brings pain to her cheeks.

Pikachu sighs. “You’re too good for this world, Jiggly, ya know that?” She puts Jiggly back down. “Just don’t do it again. I’m not worth the effort.” Pikachu allows her hat to drop over her face as she stalks away.

Jiggly grabs her hand. “No!” She squeaks.

Pikachu looks back, sour as ever. “What? You sayin’ I didn’t drag you into my mess?”

Writing Prompt —-> link