1 to 21 or whatever you want to write.
I. things you said at 1 am
His hand shot out, a little too hasty and against his better judgement, trapping the cold wrist within his grasp. Not too tightly - that might give him away - but just enough to halt the movement of the figure it was attached to.
“You can stay.” He said, his voice a bit breathless from their earlier activities. The words softened even more so by the pillow he had placed his head upon - eyes avoiding Sterling’s. It was easier if Sterling didn’t know, easier for himself to not have to admit how much eh wanted the other to be there.
II. things you said through your teeth
Water dripped down him in the most unseemly way, his hair most likely in a tragic state as he stared at the current object of his ire. Laughter rolling in waves out the mouth of his attacker, a small bit of rubber balloon still caught on the white fabric of his shirt.
“So that’s how it’s going to be.”
Thankfully he was pretty sure he had a spell to make this little game even.
III. things you said too quietly
Winnie had excused herself from their usual spot at the cafe, ‘The Ladies Room’ she had referred to it as with a laugh. Meerin sat at the small table, legs crossed as he drank from the cup in front of him - a few moments in which he was left alone to his own thoughts. Eyes falling every so often on the familiar shape of Sterling busy about the shop - Clad in an apron, and a smile perpetually plastered on his face.
He tried to focus on other things but the sound of Sterling busy talking to a young woman across the shop - small petite and beautiful - caused him to stare. The thought that they looked good together was sudden and unwelcome. They laughed - at what he didn’t care - as Sterling placed her drink down, Her hand oh so carefully brushing Sterling’s as she moved to pick it up.
Sterling caught his gaze suddenly as he turned around, offering a smile - his own heart doing something he would later call painful in his chest. He looked away furtively, ashamed at himself for having been seen. And yet his lips moved, quietly - far too quietly for anyone to hear.
Winnie sat down again a few seconds later, dropping right back into their easy conversation. All smiles and false confidence.
IV. things you said over the phone
“I’m going to be home late.” He said evenly, trying to ignore the sound of Sterling’s voice on the other end - it was too easy to imagine that the heartbroken tone was real. Easier to make excuses, to ignore and pretend.
“Don’t wait up for me.” he said, with a finality and ended the call staring at picture long after the call had ended.
A man called his name, short cropped blonde hair, tall, the blue eyes that he had seen in the club darker on the street than he remembered, and he pocketed the phone. It was easier this way.
V. things you didn’t say at all
Sterling held him tighter, limbs pressed against each other. He whispered things to Meerin, soft and embarassing things. Things he would never repeat.
He opened his mouth to rib at him, to tell him to sleep somewhere else for the night until the hand that had his laced their fingers together. Meerin’s face pinched as his mouth shut. Testing the grip on their hands slightly, feeling the chill of it press into his own.
VII. things you said while we were driving
“Don’t you go dissing Missy just because she isn’t Beethoven - or some other orchestrated snooze fest or something.” He looked at Sterling out of the corner of his eye with a severe look. Not that those things weren’t good as well but when someone insulted your music it was all or nothing. He turned up the volume on the stereo as he continued driving.
“This is fine ass music.”
VIII. things you said when you were crying
“Don’t-” Meerin said suddenly, fighting a losing battle as tears ran down his face. He turned away suddenly, trying to sheild himself from those eyes. As hands fought to turn him around - to look into them. To face feelings he had long ago told himself to forget.
He looked pitiful he was sure - one good look at him in this state and Sterling would see right through him. See him for just what he was, how weak he was.
IX. things you said when i was crying
He looked at Sterling as he babbled on through the tears, feeling the pull of a smile at his lips - not a practiced smile like some of the others. But something real - something true to convey what he felt for him. Hoping that even without words the feeling would get across somehow.
“It’s yours.” he said placing the keys to the house in Sterling’s palm. His fingers lingering over the hand, trailing his fingers along the chilled skin tenderly.
XI. things you said when you were drunk
He had drank far too much - even more so than normal, which was quite the accomplishment. A laugh escaped his lips as Sterling held onto him, ushering him into his bedroom and easing him down onto his bed. He fell back onto it, feeling Sterling kneel down and shake his head at him all the while untying his shoes and setting them on the ground neatly beside the bed.
Gentle hands and words were spoken to him and through his hazy mind he knew what he was going to say. The words fell out of his mouth in a sigh, his head turned ever so slightly to catch Sterling’s gaze in his own. A strange softness on his own face - lips turned up into the tiniest of a smile.
He didn’t even have the awareness to be ashamed or bashful of such words. Sterling in the morning would count them as part of his drunkenness and not speak of them - however much he wanted to.
However much they had been meant in all seriousness.
XII. things you said when you thought I was asleep
He had been staring, something he only afforded himself when he knew Sterling wouldn’t catch him. When he wouldn’t look back at him with that tender gaze, Meerin not knowing just how much of it was true and how much of it was for his benefit. And as much as he hoped for the prior life had long conditioned him to know that such feelings were hardly ever to last - at least with him involved. Such tenderness and care wasn’t meant for his life.
And yet when Sterling was asleep, and his arms reached out for him - to hold or touch unconsciously he found himself back when he was young and such emotions and feelings were easier. When he believed that he could have that kind of life.
“You deserve better.” he said quietly, closing his eyes. Unaware that the arms and hands that tightened upon him indicated that Sterling heard what he had said.
XIII. things you said at the kitchen table
“You are hopeless.” Meerin said suddenly, the words however accusatory they were were said in a soft tone. Amusement coloring them more than anything as he stood up, waving the smoke that lingered in the air away from him.
He was at Sterling’s side - and if his hands trailed along his waist at the closeness he didn’t pull attention to it - taking the pan away from him and shaking his head with a sigh as he dumped the contents into the garbage.
XIV. things you said after you kissed me
“You hungry?” he said teasingly, the words falling across lips that had been recently pressed against his own. Meerin’s hands trailing down to play with the waist of Sterling’s pants, fingertips running up under the fabric of a shirt, along the skin of his lean stomach.
XV. things you said with too many miles between us
“I’ll be home soon.” the words were said with a laugh as Winnie attempted to get his attention at a small souvenir shop they were currently holed up in. Holding up some terrible little knick-knack she was sure to buy.
“I know -” he said in response to something Sterling said, rolling his eyes slightly as he made a disgusted look at what they called shirts in this store. “No strange men. Although I doubt Winnie would even let me even glance at someone.” the last part of the sentence muttered softly.
He quieted as Sterling said something to him, causing the ends of his ears to tinge red with embarrassment, Muttering a quick “I love you too.” as he hung up the phone. Winnie staring at him with a look of pure joy and amusement as he endeavored to find some ugly gift for Moses that she would hate to have around the house.
XVII. things you said that I wish you hadn’t
“Good luck.” Meerin said he lay upon the couch, Pudding’s head contentedly nestled in his lap as he was petted. Not meeting the eyes or the figure that stood waiting for him to speak.
“On your date.” he clarified. “Hopefully they prove a better partner than me.”
XVIII. things you said when you were scared
“You idiot.” he said, voice harsh as he took Sterling’s face into his hands. There was blood on both of their hands, more so on Sterling’s as they knelt together. “Don’t do that again. Not for -” he said, his words cutting off as he kissed him. Their lips meeting as the adrenaline still surged between them, the blood upon them still warm.
‘Not for me.’ he finished in thought alone.
XIX. things you said when we were the happiest we ever were
“What do you want for dinner tonight?” he said a bit distractedly. Ruffling Pudding’s head as they all lay together on the bed. The afternoon sun drifting in through the open curtains, casting a glow and a warmth over the room. He raised his eyes from his book and looked at Sterling who was looking contentedly at him, eyes on the verge of closing much like a cat would while napping.
“Are you even listening?”
XXI. things you said when we were on top of the world
“You like it?” he said, turning his head ever so slightly to watch Sterling’s face - hand reaching out for Sterling’s, pausing ever so slightly on it’s way before meeting it. Entangling their fingers as he turned his gaze back to the city sprawled out beneath them, sparkling in the darkness like a thousand stars at their feet. He had been here many times of course, but here, with the familiar cold press of a hand in his own it had never quite lived up to it’s name. Never been quite so alive.
‘The city of love’ he thought to himself, as he listened to Sterling talk. Eyes trailing back to watch his exuberance, feeling the other hand tightening in his own.
XXII. things you said after it was over
“What are we going to do now?” The question was a serious one, as they stared at each other across from the couch. The beginnings of tears were in Sterling’s eyes and Meerin would deny to the end of the time he felt the prickling of his own as well.
“There has to be more.” he said as he picked up the remote - searching for the next season of the show as Sterling devolved into full blown tears beside him.
It could not end like this.
XXIII. things you said in the throes of passion
“Please.” he urged, breath catching in the back of his throat as he attempted to meet the thrusts eagerly with each surge of hips against his. Sterling’s mouth hot against his neck as hands expertly pulled him apart. Every nerve within him raw with need.
“More.” he breathed out, his own hands gripping into Sterling’s back. No doubt leaving marks where his fingers dug into flesh. He was glad - Sterling’s head tucked into his neck made sure that he could not see just how undone he was in this very moment. What Sterling - and seemingly Sterling alone -could do to him.
