The Valar and their action and non-action (especially in the first age and leading up to it) are a complicated subject to say the least, but one part of it, to me at least, is that the Valar so did not sign up for this.
Think about it--Eru shows them a vision of a created world, then they figure out that they have to create it themselves; ok, fine, Manwe and Ulmo have a great time making weather systems, Aule fashioning the mountains, Yavanna her plants, etc. They're having a great time (minus Melkor's interference) literally world-building. This is largely what they are good at and what they want to do.
They did not sign up to deal with political crises, personal/family crises, morality crises, and war, they were probably never intended to have to deal with this in Iluvatar's perfect world, and they are bad at it.
None of this is meant to excuse their, uh...less than stellar decisions, but this post isn't about those, it's about the context of the Valar signing up Minecraft in Creative mode and not only getting thrown into Survival, but also thrown into adjudicating elf drama, elf marriage/life/death metaphysics, and kinslayings.
Admittedly, they put themselves in a position of authority over the elves, but I still don't think they expected all of that, especially not before they entered Arda, when all they wanted to do was create a beautiful world for the children of Iluvatar.
And then it all went to hell.
You round up a whole group of artists (likely with all their separate, well, artist issues) into working on a giant nice world for some cute little people to live in then BOOM now one of them decides to just sabotage the project and the cute little people start to kill each others
and this group of artists walking disasters now find out they have to do politics and A LOT of damage control
IDK, when you force artists to be rational and organized and do administrative shit some of them WILL go crazy and mess up/run away/start to start fire here and there.
they so much did not sign themselves up for THESE
And yeah, OF COURSE someone would start discord and some others would follow. That’s just so normal artist behavior.
Yes! YES!
This is exactly why I can't bring myself to hate the Valar (or even be really that mad at them).
They are just trying their best and making stupid mistakes in the process just like every other damn character in the history of Arda!

























