salmonella isnt real salmonella is not actually real because ive never had it and i really really deserve to have had it. i mean how many times can you look under the bed and still expect there to be monsters

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ojovivo
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

bliss lane
tumblr dot com
$LAYYYTER
Misplaced Lens Cap
EXPECTATIONS

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club

izzy's playlists!

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Not today Justin

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Keni
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Andulka
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shark vs the universe
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salmonella isnt real salmonella is not actually real because ive never had it and i really really deserve to have had it. i mean how many times can you look under the bed and still expect there to be monsters
gritting is for your teeth cause the rest of your body is soft and cant be gritted but if youre horny just right a new grit can be grat
i got a fat egg to lay and my nest is sooo pidgeony
i like bugs bugs are cool roaches are bugs i have to be ok with roaches or im not ok with bugs. oh god theyre huge! no no no no roaches no bugs i cant have them around me their personal space issues are my real problem. 2 inch roach in my pillow case while im in bed i cant be ok with that! i hear them before i see them when roaches get big enough they have the heft to make skittering noises when they run. if the roaches get any bigger theyll be able to knock shit off my counters. i hear them and they almost sound like mice but its bugs with mouse size and oh no i just cant like bugs anymore
in my very own system of telling time the weeks are counted by the end of a random obsession and days pass when i wake up in the afternoons from horrifying dreams and the seasons change when i feel the terrible dread of life slipping through my fingers
one diabolical cocktail of loose ingredients instead of a meal please and then no more food until two days from now again i think
dud you know they named a whole city after that stuff?
greamjeez
guy whos about to open one of those spring snake prank toys "this pipe bomb better blow me to fucking pieces"
i wish that for all my little containers, i had a sculpture of a guy holding the box for me
i cannot let anyone at all ever see me eating drinking or sleeping. these weaknesses must be kept secret
a permanent depression in your mattress? how could that have happened? some permanently depressed person mustve came into your room and done it while you were sleeping.
i used to be curious, so curious, but those days are long gone now. oh me? you can call me george...*smokes cigarette* just george.
been told i got organs, chock full actually, but i never seen em. can you find them for me?
i miss the flash game where you train bugs to race and battle
i may not put really any effort at all into my goth aesthetic but my lint roller is doing the most
a modern adaptation of beauty and the beast would have disney bragging about not hiring voice actors for the talking smart appliance characters with ai voices
everytime i open my moth cage and find im out of moths a sad rusty penny rolls out