Schittโs Creek S2 Starters
โOh, to be so naive.โ
โYour hands are so soft for someone who does nothing but manual labor.โ
โWhat you did was impulsive, capricious, and melodramaticโฆ but it was also wrong.โ
โItโs not like I didnโt think about what you said.โ
โI guess, just tell me what you want me to do, and Iโll do it.โ
โOh, ___, itโs a rare gift to strip vanity of its charm and yet here you are.โ
โYouโre like a big, dirty raccoon, ___.โ
โHappy to help. Iโm sure youโd do the same for me if you had anything to offer.โ
โYeah, Iโm pretty amazing.โ
โSmall minds donโt reach for the stars.โ
โWas it wrong, or was it just unconventional?โ
โOkay well, Iโm not gonna argue with you, โcause I need you to keep working, weโre in too deep.โ
โShopping used to cheer me up.โ
โI donโt know how to ride a bike.โ
โIn fashion, durable and elegant rarely go hand in hand.โ
โGod, youโre like a fancy dinner plate that you donโt wanna budge off the edge of the table.โ
โSeriously, donโt think about it.โ
โOkay, there are certain lies I tell myself and if you are any kind of a friend you will let me cling to those lies.โ
โWeโre a long way from any hospitals.โ
โI need to ask you a serious question: has it gotten worse or are you just not wearing any makeup?โ
โIโm so tired. Tell me a story.โ
โI thought you werenโt getting involved.โ
โWhat does โword to the wiseโ even mean?โ
โLook at your little doll lips.โ
โWhatโs this? Looks expensive.โ
โI was gonna leave but now I donโt want to.โ
โYouโre a pain in the ass, but you get stuff done.โ
โI think I need a hug or something.โ
โIโd sooner poke my eyes out with hat pins.โ
โStop doing that with your face.โ
โYou know what they say, if you canโt be by yourself then you probably shouldnโt be in a relationship.โ
โOkay, youโre sounding very sketchy right now.โ
โIโm both excited and terrified for tonight.โ
โYou sound like my conscience.โ
โFor the most part, Iโd rather be here by myself than engage in meaningless conversation with people I donโt care about.โ
โA little healthy competition never hurt anyone.โ
โOn a scale of one to Iโm gonna get beat up by an angry local, where do we see this look fall?โ
โIโm going to a sketchy bar on the outskirts of town.โ
โYou know how at home I am at sketchy bars.โ
โIโm the one who should go missing.โ
โHow long are we gonna be doing this?โ
โItโs like everybody saw you coming and left.โ
โOh, bless you dear, but a name tag does not go with this ensemble.โ
โIโm counting on you to be discreet.โ
โYou know, if you expect me to drive you to work, it would be nice if you were ready on time.โ
โYou sound a bit like a dictator.โ
โYou know, being approachable isnโt that important anyways.โ
โJust remember if things go south, thereโs a loaded BB gun in the back.โ
โThereโs a button missing on your jacket.โ
โHow much trouble are we in?โ
โI dated enough Wall Street losers to know that โmaking things liquidโ is not a good thing.โ
โSomeone has to find naked pictures of me, better you than a stranger in a storm cellar.โ
โThere are nude photos of me all over the internet.โ
โThe amount of times I run into you in this place is, like, out of a romantic comedy.โ
โIf you need money, I can give you money.โ
โYou regret that embarrassing photos of you arenโt online?โ
โThen allow me to offer you some advice. Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now. โ
โNothingโs easy about this.โ
โI donโt think sex appeal is the guiding principle behind nurseโs uniforms.โ
โYou look like a stick of gum.โ
โAre you sure that youโre cut out for this?โ
โI brought you some trail mix, but I spilled it in my purse.โ
โSounds like something youโd find at a serial killerโs house.โ
โYou know, I have to say Iโm impressed.โ
โWhy is everybody screaming?โ
โThis is gonna bring us to a breaking point.โ
โI couldnโt help but notice that you seemed a littleโฆ sad sack-y today.โ
โThis is so cute for me.โ
โYou are an inexplicably cocky imbecile!โ
โI can almost guarantee you that someone has killed themselves in this room.โ
โYou were my mistake, which I take full credit for.โ
โIf thereโs one thing Iโve learned from The Good Wife itโs never accept a first offer.โ
โWell thank you so much for this. It was entirely unhelpful, but thank you nevertheless.โ
โOkay, ___, if you have to lie about something you should breathe out while you answer because it really just calms you down.โ
โIf you know so much about this, why donโt you come with me then?โ
โWhen you have limited resources, your best course of action is to create a stir.โ
โItโs only weird if you think itโs weird.โ
โYou should feel really good about yourself.โ
โWanna get some air?โ
โFor once in your life, shh!โ