@dangantruth fromĀ here
Heā¦ He made Makoto wanna vomit, huh? Of course he did. He inevitably would; heād known that from the start, but god, it still hurt. Some part of him wanted to believe that that was just some sort of Ultimate Despair thing, like maybe hurting Nagito brought him more of the despair he wanted, the same way Junko had treated Mukuro like shit.
But why would Nagito even want that? Nagito hated despairā¦ he had forā¦ most of his lifeā¦ and Makotoā¦ Makoto was the reason heād been saved from that kind of pathetic excuse of an existenceā¦
Suddenly, he was kneeling in front of him. Nagito still couldnāt bring himself to tear his hands away, not fromā¦ Makotoā¦ who was Makoto anymoreā¦ God.
His explanationā¦ hurt. Heā¦ he wished he was the one that had had to go through this rather than Makoto. Not that he wanted his classmates to dieā¦ but better his than Makotoās, right? Heād give anything to go back to when he was Ultimate Despair and Makoto was stillā¦ Hope. Where was hope nowā¦?
āā¦But that is my fault, Naegi-kun.ā His voice was softer, his eyes meeting his, his own looking a few moments away from hysteria. āYouā¦ got close to meā¦ and so something bad had to happen. Thatās how my luck works, right? But killing me, ahaha, thatāsā¦ thatās too good of a fate. It always justā¦ h-hurts the people I care about insteadā¦ā
He was laughing and crying. Despair in the untainted sense of the word, not the Enoshima fetish type. It hurt. He had ruined the life of the one person to ever care about him. It hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt-
āAhahahaā¦ hahaā¦ā Laughter and tears. Not the way heād laughed as Servant, no, just the laugh of your average human being going through a mental breakdown. āSuch a freak accident that completely ruined your life. All five of them, just dying like that? That has to be bad luck. That has to be my kind of bad luck, Naegi-kun. Itās all my faultā¦ you just wanted to be nice to me, and, ahaha, l-look what I did! Iā¦ I knew this was going to happen if I let you near me, Naegi-kunā¦ It is my fault. Itās all my fault!ā
His breathing became heavy. āWhy donāt you do something about it? Youāre so perfectā¦ you could make an execution for me that would surpass everything Enoshima-san ever could have been capable of!ā His voice was out of breath now. āPlease kill me make it hurt make what I did to myself in the Neo World seem like childās play in comparison-ā
When Makoto started speaking again, it was like a switch had been flipped. There wasnāt even a moment of hesitation- Makoto was hope, he trusted hope, he trusted Makoto so much, he couldnāt even remember what heād been saying now it was all going to be okay! āO-Of course! Iād be honored to help in any way I can, truly!ā Hope had returned to his eyes, and the tears he continued to shed now stemmed from relief.
Without thinking, he let himself sink forward, nuzzling into Makotoās chest like a cat. āIā¦ I-I love you so, so much, Naegi-kun, Iād do anythingā¦ what did you have in mind?ā It was like heād completely forgot what he had turned into. He was being so delusional at this point it probably would have shocked Fukawa.
