Wisdom I gained at the cost of my dignity

i’ve begged, cried, stayed too long, and called it love. this blog isn’t from perfection, it’s from survival. i’m here to share what i’ve learned, so you don’t have to lose your dignity to gain your wisdom. welcome to pretty girl prophecies.

[whyilovefall]

I need you to feel like you'd die without me

[return-to-limbo]

Tell me you love me. Again. Again. Again. I don’t care if you’re tired. I don’t care if your throat is raw. Say it until I believe it. Say it until it’s the only thing you know how to say. Say it until it’s the only truth left in your world.

[bakwaaas]

it’s okay to say ‘this isn’t for me’ or ‘I’m not happy here’ and leave… you don’t have to wait for things to be really bad

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[revevif]

at the end of the day im the love i give, not the love i get

[prettygirlprophecies]

if you move through the world with kindness, softness, real love, and people meet you with cruelty or indifference, that says everything about them. not you.

it means their heart is rotten. their spirit is bitter. you didn’t earn that treatment, you just crossed paths with the wrong people.

being a good person doesn’t mean you’ll always be loved right. but it does mean that anyone who treats you wrong is showing you exactly who they are.

don’t let the ugliness of others make you question the beauty in yourself. you didn’t deserve it. they just didn’t deserve you.

[prettygirlprophecies]

Pretty Girl Prophecy #4: It’s Not Always Them. Sometimes It’s You.

sometimes you’re the toxic one.

and no one wants to hear that. especially when you’ve been hurt before.

sometimes you mess up in a relationship. and your friends will defend you no matter what.

but sometimes you need a friend who will just say the truth. not in a mean way. in a real way. and that’s what i’m here for.

now don’t get me wrong, some people use "brutal honesty" as an excuse to be bitchy. and some people just nod along to everything you do. i’ve been on both sides. so let me just say this:

sometimes you are the problem.

my friend marie is dating a girl, isabella. she's spiritual. poetic. emotional.

she calls herself a thought daughter. which is cute. until it’s not.

because isabella doesn’t let marie have friends. she’s jealous of everyone. not allowed to talk to other girls, even though isabella does. it’s giving double standard.

you want to know what else isabella does? blames everything on being sensitive. says marie is making her jealous on purpose. calls it love. calls it depth. calls it feeling.

girl, you’re not misunderstood. you’re just being mean. and that’s okay. but own it.

because when you’re in a relationship, it’s not just about how you feel. it’s about how you make the other person feel too.

some people fall in love with the idea of love. they think if it’s not chaos and adrenaline, it isn’t real. so they create drama. they lose sight of the actual person they’re with.

isabella loves love. sure. but does she love marie? not like she should.

and i know because i was once kind of like her.

in my second toxic relationship, i was reactive. scared. because i’d been cheated on over and over.

and yet, even then, i still wasn’t as strict as isabella. my ex could have friends. i just didn’t want her cuddling them in front of me. i had boundaries. not walls.

isabella doesn’t.

she spirals. blames marie. calls it love. but it’s just fear.

and yes. i get it. i’ve been the insecure one too. but it gets to a point where the insecurity becomes cruelty. and you can’t keep hurting someone just because you’re scared.

you have to learn to calm down. you have to learn to communicate. and you have to stop blaming your trauma for the mess you’re making.

and before anyone thinks i’m just attacking isabella, let’s get into it deeper:

i’ve stayed in relationships because i didn’t want to hurt the other person. because no one else liked them. because they had no one. and in the process, i forgot myself. i forgot how much i was being hurt.

and that’s the difference between me and isabella. i was so focused on not being toxic, that i let myself be destroyed.

isabella is the opposite. she’s so focused on her own feelings, she forgets how much she’s hurting marie.

that’s why you need balance.

because feeling everything deeply doesn’t make you a good partner. sometimes it just makes you harder to love.

and here’s where it gets even more complicated:

what if you think you’re the one being hurt, when you’re actually the one doing the hurting?

or worse, what if you’re like me back then, so focused on being the kind one, the forgiving one, that you don’t even notice how bad it’s gotten?

what if you’re staying with someone just because you’re scared they’ll fall apart without you?

what if they’re manipulating you to feel that way?

what if you’re doing that to someone else?

before you get in a relationship, ask yourself:

do i love myself? do i respect myself? do i care how the other person feels? do i know if i’m being hurt, or hurting them?

because sometimes, it’s both. and that means it needs to end.

it’s okay to be insecure. it’s okay to be messy. it’s okay to suck a little. but it’s not okay to keep breaking someone else, and calling it love.

my angel ex? the only good relationship i ever had? she left me because i wasn’t ready. i was healing. she knew that. and she said: "i love you. but you need time."

and she was right.

so maybe we all have a little isabella in us. and maybe we all have a little marie too.

just don’t get stuck being either one forever.

because i’ve watched people fall apart trying to save someone who never changes. and i’ve watched people destroy everything because they think their pain gives them permission.

both are wrong.

so next time you feel yourself spiraling, or blaming, or crashing out,

pause. breathe. be real with yourself.

because love isn’t about who cries the most. it’s about who’s actually trying.

and if you’re hurting someone, you need to stop.

and if they’re hurting you, you need to go.

either way: check yourself. get clear. make the right choice.

not the one that feels good. not the one that keeps you safe. not the one that helps you avoid the truth.

the right one.

for you. for them. for real love.

that’s all i’m trying to say.

and i hope it lands where it needs to.

[prettygirlprophecies]

Pretty Girl Prophecy #3: You Don’t Need Someone Right Now. You Just Need to Believe They’ll Come.

i think a lot of girls are terrified of being alone. they want to be loved. they want to be chosen. they want the movie love. and obviously i do too. i used to think i’d marry my high school sweetheart. i used to dream about that kind of love. but then life happens. and you realize… people kind of suck.

and that’s not to say you won’t find your soulmate. you probably will. but the truth is: you probably won’t find them at 16.

the person you’re dating at 15, 16, 17? they’re not your soulmate. they’re just someone in your area.

and when you grow up, you’ll realize how small your world was. you’ll go to college. travel. meet new people. become someone you’ve never been before. and maybe then, you’ll find someone who actually matches the person you’ve become.

so don’t settle for someone who treats you like an option just because they’re here now. don’t lower your standards because you’re scared no one else will come.

someone else will come.

i know that for a fact because… even though all my exes sucked, there was one who didn’t. one who felt heaven-sent. and even though we weren’t right for each other in the long run, the way she loved me? the way she cared about me? that’s proof that love like that exists. and if one person could love me that deeply, someone else can too.

and listen… i’m not perfect. i’m bad at texting back. i’m insecure. i’m just a normal person. but even with all that, someone loved every little thing about me. so if you’re sitting there thinking you’re too much, too weird, too damaged: you’re not. you’re loveable. as you are. right now.

you don’t need to be in a relationship at 19. you don’t need to get married by 25. you don’t need to panic just because you’re not being chosen yet.

you’re not late. you’re just growing.

people fall in love at all ages. you could meet your soulmate at 30. 40. 67. it’s not a race.

and yes, you might have to wait a little longer to find someone who actually sees you. but wouldn’t you rather wait for something real than give your whole heart to someone who only halfway deserves it?

so don’t rush. don’t chase. don’t beg. and please don’t lower your standards just because you’re scared to be alone.

be prudish. be picky. be delusional. believe in love and still walk away when someone doesn’t give it to you.

and if you’ve never had a relationship? that’s okay too. you’re not behind. you’re just waiting for the right one, and you deserve to.

because if i could find someone who loved me that much once, i know i’ll find it again. and so will you.

you’re not asking for too much. you’re just asking the wrong person.

[theambitiouswoman]

A healed person isn’t afraid to lose someone who doesn’t value them

[prettygirlprophecies]

Pretty Girl Prophecy #2: How I Got My Sanity Back After My Major Toxic Breakup

after my most toxic breakup, i completely lost it.

it took me a while but, i did block her on everything. deleted the photos, the playlists, the evidence. i avoided her like she never existed, because pretending she didn’t was better than drowning in reminders.

i stopped telling everyone everything. when i was spiraling or secretly tweaking, i kept it to myself. not to bottle it up, but to stop feeding it. if i couldn’t regulate the feeling, i wasn’t going to glorify it either.

i learned to sit with my emotions, but i also learned when i was lying to myself. i stopped coddling my delusions. when i caught myself slipping into the same old thought loops, i asked myself: “what would i tell my best friend right now?” and then i did that.

i practiced thinking reasonably even when i didn’t feel like it. i didn’t shame myself for missing her, but i didn’t give those feelings control. i reminded myself daily that pain is not proof of love. it’s just residue.

and with time, it got easier. not because i stopped hurting but because i stopped romanticizing the hurt.

healing doesn’t happen when it stops hurting. it happens when you stop chasing the pain and start chasing peace.

and when the cravings to spiral came back, and they did- i learned to stop, breathe, and recenter. i worked on calming my nervous system. taking deep breaths. getting grounded. when you feel yourself about to go back into that delusional chaos loop when you're hovering over unblock, typing something and deleting it, checking their page “just once” pause. breathe. reset.

figure out what soothes you. what quiets the noise. what clears your mind. maybe it’s music. maybe it’s sunlight. maybe it’s a walk or cold water or journaling. find it, and use it every time you want to lose it again.

and allow yourself to feel what you feel

without letting it take over.

sometimes i still slip up. i still have thoughts i shouldn’t, urges i don’t like. but now, i catch them. i shake them out. i breathe through it. and i remind myself: it’s just a thought. it’s not the truth. and it’s not in charge.

the truth is: if you focus, like really focus, on breaking your patterns and detoxing your mindset, you will come back to yourself.

and when you do, you won’t even recognize the version of you that begged to be loved like that.

[soul-from-another-era]

[prettygirlprophecies]

i didn’t want to let go of the pain because it felt like the only thing left connecting me to her. even though she hurt me. even though i hated her. i still clung to the ache because it reminded me it was real.

but here’s how i stopped: i blocked her on everything. deleted photos, numbers, playlists. avoided her name like it was poison. and eventually, it really did feel like she never existed.

sometimes the cure is just out of sight = out of mind. stop feeding the memory. go ghost. set yourself free.

[soul-from-another-era]

Unconditional love isn't a free pass to hurt me.

[prettygirlprophecies]

the sooner you stop confusing love with loyalty to your own pain, the freer you’ll be. love should never require you to betray yourself.

[prettygirlprophecies]

Pretty Girl Prophecy #1: You Can’t Be Saved Until You Want To Be

my first serious relationship was with a guy who cheated on me over and over. he creeped me out, and like not in the cute way people joke about, but in the way where something in me shut down. where my body felt unsafe being within 10 feet of him. he crossed lines that still make my stomach turn when i think about them.

and i stayed.

not because i loved him, because i didn’t. he didn’t love me either. but i was so desperate to feel something, to feel wanted, that i convinced myself it was love just so i wouldn’t have to face how empty it really was.

my friends begged me to leave. they tried everything. but i didn’t listen. because you can’t save someone who’s not ready to walk away.

i thought going back over and over would make it hurt less. it didn’t. the only thing that helped was finally saying enough.

and look, i know it’s even harder when you have no one. my second toxic relationship? was with a girl, actually. and i didn’t just lose a partner, i lost my friends, my family, my entire support system.

that’s what toxicity does. it doesn’t care if it comes from a boy or a girl. it isolates you, breaks you, convinces you no one else wants you. but it’s lying.

and guess what? i still found the strength to leave.

i walked away. it nearly destroyed me. but i survived. and so will you.

you don’t need one more apology. you don’t need another chance to fix it. you don’t need to prove your loyalty to someone who’s already shown you they don’t deserve it.

stop it before it gets worse. even if you're scared. even if you're alone.

because if you don’t get serious about choosing yourself, this cycle will swallow your entire life. you’ll waste your best years making excuses for someone who keeps choosing everything but you. and by the time you finally leave, you’ll realize you gave them pieces of you you didn’t even know you could lose.

detaching takes time. it hurts like hell. but when their toxicity is finally out of your bloodstream? when the addiction wears off and the chaos clears? you’ll feel something you haven’t felt in a long time: peace.

you’ll miss the drama. you’ll miss the highs. but eventually, you’ll realize being ignored, disrespected, and broken down just to feel “in love” isn’t love. it’s survival. and you don’t need to survive love. you deserve to feel safe in it.

so lock in!!! save yourself!!! love is not supposed to feel like this.

[prettygirlprophecies]

You Don’t Have to Learn the Hard Way

hi. welcome to pretty girl prophecies.

this is an advice blog for girls who’ve cried for people who didn’t care, stayed for people who cheated, begged for attention they should’ve been given freely, and called it love.

i’ve been ignored for weeks and still stayed. i’ve been cheated on and still stayed. i’ve prayed for someone who hated me to love me, even when they were already "mine"!!!

i’ve humiliated myself in the name of love. and now all my friends come to me for advice.

because i learned. slowly. painfully. dramatically. and when you go through that much, you start seeing things clearly.

i turned all of that into wisdom, and i’m sharing it so you don’t have to suffer the same way.

so if you’re: confused, heartbroken, spiraling, glowing up, trying to choose peace over chaos, you’re safe here :)

drop a question. vent. spiral in my inbox. i’ll respond with softness, honesty, and a little prophecy.

💌 ask me anything. the pretty girl prophecies begin now.

P.S. i’m new to tumblr and still figuring out how to use it properly so like… bear with me if things look weird or i mess something up lol. the wisdom is real even if the formatting isn’t!!