this is a life improvement blog by way of fitness log. because lifting something heavy and putting it down again is simpler and more satisfying than keeping my room clean or not procrastinating at work. and because i believe in inertia.
I trudged to the gym this afternoon in the mid-shin slush snow, which is a good sign, I think. I might not have my mojo back, but it's at least in my peripheral vision.
Right after I quit Crossfit, the amazing opportunity came up to get semi-private Olympic lifting training (for free! in the basement of my work!) so I decided to give that a go for awhile instead of ramping up the powerlifting. I like shiny things! So distractable! But as a result, I've been a bit humbled by big weights since I haven't had the time to do two-a-days. And THEN I got hip flexor tendonitis, which just made the funk even worse. So I've kind of just been meandering through light clean & jerks for the last several months with no real goals. Not that it isn't fun. The bros in my lifting group are hilarious and supportive and their trash talking is often the highlight of my day.
And, I got a new job that I'll be starting in April, at an amazing company, doing something I'm incredibly passionate about. So that part of life has been pretty crazy, after over 5 years at my current job! Lots of changes ahead. I'll have to give up the Oly lifting, and get back to PL. Or Crossfit, but probably not. I'm getting a bit old and creaky for that, though I miss the consistency and the absence of overthinking and the "totally up for anything physical at any time" thing.
But yeah. I'm basically having a difficult time with goal setting right now, because I don't know what I want. And I'm just not motivated by "just going to the gym", at least not for any consistent period of time. Onward and upward, though!
I have been in the funkiest of funks lately. All I want to do (and I mean ALL. I. WANT. TO. DO.) is sleep and eat all the candy and drink all the beers. I have been sort of staring at the internet, but not interacting with it much.
This stuff happens from time to time, I mean, I'm only human. I sort of chalked it up to SAD, but I love fall so I don't know why it'd make me feel this way.
Anyway, thanks @iron-inside for alerting me to apparently very real concept of the post-athletic-event depressive state. I had never heard of it before but it makes brilliant sense and I feel less like a lunatic already. I am already coming out of it a bit, and I feel like two weeks is enough to mope around like a candy-vacuum-sad-sack, thankyouverymuch.
In other bittersweet news, I quit Crossfit. I've decided to, as Ron Swanson would say, "whole-ass one thing". It made me sad to write the email to my box owners to cancel my membership, but going to Crossfit just a couple times a week was starting to addle my brain and not really fit into my personal Big Picture.
I restarted 5/3/1 last week. I forgot how much I love that program. And how good that first cycle is for the ego. 85x13 bench press? Coolsauce.
My first powerlifting meet is now behind me, and it was an all-around great experience. I got 7 out of 9 lifts, hit a PR in the squat (and almost in the bench) and met some really great people.
Here's how my lifts went.
Squat - 145/155/175 (PR)
Bench - 95/105/110 (got it up, but no lift because my foot moved)
Deadlift - 200/225/225 (rushed setup + overconfidence made me miss the second attempt, but the third came up like buttah)
I got 2nd place in my division (of 2, but still) and came away with a totally hilarious trophy, which you can see in all its hilariousness in my previous post.
There were 17 women in the meet, which was both awesome and a federation record. Everyone else I talked to trained in groups or with a coach, and couldn't believe I trained mostly alone (save for Crossfit occasionally). Most everyone was very friendly, though the more experienced lifters and most the guys kept to themselves or in groups of people they knew. They were really nice to me though, especially when I showed my utter newb-ness in not knowing how to use a monolift or set up for competition bench correctly.
The best part was when my new lady friends encouraged me to go for the 175 PR instead of settling for 165. It was a really hard lift and I struggled through it for what seemed like an eternity, but when I finally got it up, the whole audience cheered and then I ran backstage for a group hug. It was the greatest.
The meet was in a giant warehouse and all lifts were performed in front of a huge American flag, which was kind of hardcore. My boyfriend drove all the way from NH to come see me lift, and took a couple videos, which I will post later.
Anyway, it was an overall very positive experience and I definitely want to do another one. The new friends I made were encouraging me to do another one in March, which I might do, but it's in Rhode Island so we'll see.
I'm definitely going to start refocusing my training on powerlifting for the near future, and most likely give up Crossfit for awhile, but that's a post for another time.
Went slightly conservative, because CONFIDENCE. This still gives me some room to go for a PR on my third attempt, providing I don't mess up any lifts. I'm just going to go by how I feel on Saturday and not try to map out all my attempts now.
I have a (big?) job interview on Friday, and it's also my weigh-in day. I think I'm going to take the whole day off, otherwise I'm just not sure how I'm going to fit it all in. The interview is in the city and the competition is in the 'burbs near Rhode Island. How do I get myself into these messes?
Anybody have any last minute tips or advice for a first meet?
missbarslammer replied to your post: Met up with a former classmate at the gym...
if i can give you my advice : you have the right to be a tiny bit more adventurous than that. what i do for meets is i set my first attempt at a weight i KNOW i will have, just to get me on the board. then my max for 2nd, then a PR on 3rd attempt.
Thank you thank you! I'm quite new at this, so the advice is much appreciated (especially since you're such a BAMF).
I'm trying to play it cautious because I want to have a good first meet, go 9 for 9, and not injure myself. Some days I feel like I can move a lot more weight, and others I feel completely weaksauce. My training has also been kind of all over the place - I do too many max attempts and probably not enough volume. I finally learned how to squat this summer after never going below parallel at heavy weights, and just started benching again about 4 months ago.
It doesn't help that I'm basically training in a way that should be called "Things Not to Do Prior to your First Powerlifting Meet". I guess the best approach is to concentrate on eating, sleeping, and smashing my openers for the next two weeks and see how I feel day of.
Met up with a former classmate at the gym yesterday for my max testing day. Max testing day was an abject failure, but Operation: Gym Buddy was a success. Anna, my new gym buddy, works at a kettlebell gym and can do Turkish getups like a BOSS. She matched me squat for squat but only went to parallel or just above. We agreed that the extra inch or so that makes for legit squat depth, i.e. "the hole", is basically Mordor. And one does not simply squat into Mordor.
Squat: Failed at 165, three times. WTF? I should be able to squat far more than that.
Bench: 105x1, failed at 110.
Deadlift: Worked up to 225x1, and then decided I wanted to be able to walk again, and stopped.
So, I think I'm going to have to play it really safe with my attempts for the meet on the 20th.
Yesterday I helped some guy get unstuck from underneath the leg press, which he had stacked with all of the 45s in the gym. So the lesson I learned from this is that the leg press machine is for sissies who need to be rescued by girls.
I jest, of course. Glad all's well that ended well. And glad I'm strong enough to help shove several hundred pounds off somebody.
Strength
3-point snatch complex
From the ground, from the low hang, from the high hang
Got up to 50, but my leg spasmed and I fell down during the high hang part. BUT it was a solid full snatch. I'm also apparently the most flexible person at Crossfit. Which explains a lot.
I really like Crossfit. I like the way it smells there, like rubber and anguish and joy. I like being covered in sweat and chalk dust every time I stumble back home. I like sharing the platform with other girls and doing the "Single Ladies" dance after every PR. I like how much my lungs burn during and after the WOD. I know I wouldn't be able to push myself as hard on my own. I just know I don't feel the same on my own in the gym. I can push through a set of heavy deadlifts or squats, for sure, but I'm not busting my bones going high octane by myself. It's just not going to happen. I love how magically, it makes me better at running.
I struggled today. I'm beat up from max effort lifting 2-3 times a week. My wrist, the one I jammed surfing, still hurts and I feel like people are judging me when I put wraps on to do handstands and light snatches. They probably aren't, and if they are it's none of my business, but it says something about how I feel that I think they are.
I still consider my twice weekly Crossfitting as one of the best investments I've ever made. I just know I have to choose a path soon, and Crossfit might not be a wise part of that path.
Whole30 Experiment: What I Learned from Cutting It Out
In August, I decided to go an entire month without drinking. I'm not a crazy party animal, but a) I love craft beer A LOT and b) I live in Boston, which is definitely a drinking city. It's hard to come up with things to do with friends that aren't "let's grab a drink after work!"
Two previous "paleo challenges" and back-to-back cases of strep throat have taught me, by elimination, that gluten and alcohol make me feel less than optimal (sometimes much less so), and almost always lead to me making poor food choices afterwards. Nothing beats a hangover better than a bagel + a sub sandwich + an entire pint of ice cream + maaaaybe lots of Skittles. And then I'd have a food hangover for an additional day and be miserable. No fun.
So, once I realized I'd tricked myself into completely giving up booze for a month (because I can do anything for a month, and if I can't, I might have a real problem) I thought "why not just do a Whole30?"
I didn't quite manage the 30 days food-wise (there was birthday cake. Sorry I'm not sorry) but did go totally booze-free for 30 days. And my first drink afterwards was a pumpkin ale, sitting on the beach at midnight on September 1st.
I didn't track what I ate, but I did keep a small journal that I jotted notes in every.single.night. In the journal, I'd mark "W30" if I'd been compliant that day. I'd also mark "MB" for "made my bed" "P" for "did a 60 second plank hold", "FO" for "took my fish oil", etc. Then I'd make a quick note or two if I felt good, bad, tired, energetic, whatever. If something out-of-the-ordinary happened, I'd mark that down too. I did this for about 27 days and then stopped, for reasons I can't recall.
What I Learned
Writing stuff down is enormously helpful, both for accountability and for future reference. Memory is a notorious liar. The tiny daily journal is probably the best thing I took from this experiment.
Dairy (particularly full fat), sugar, gluten, and alcohol have varying unpleasant effects on me. I never really liked other grains or beans so I have no data. Dairy especially causes congestion for me. Who knew?
My training got AWESOME. I hit PRs in every lift except OHP, but that's only because I wasn't doing it. I did two Crossfit WODs Rx'd. I made it to every single one of my scheduled workouts. I ran a 5k in 25 minutes, beating my previous personal (race!) best by 3 entire minutes. I did chin-ups, and pull-ups, and lions and tigers and bears. It was fantastic.
I lost about 8 pounds, despite PR'ing in all my lifts and being fairly slim to begin with.
I was kind of lonely. Not being able to say "hey, let's grab a drink after work" kind of kibboshed the ol' social life.
However, I started a new relationship right around the same time (still going strong, yay!) and I'm really glad I was living a thoughtful and intentional life at the time. Having a clear head and being emotionally even-keeled and not the even slightly self-destructive was the best thing I could have done for myself in that situation.
Not drinking doesn't stop me from going to craft beer bars and talking about craft beer. That was kind of a fun discovery. Not that I didn't miss it, because I did. But I still didn't have even a sip of my companions' beers (I did smell the beers though. Mmmmm, hops).
Awesomeness is a lot of pressure. I'm beginning to realize where self-sabotage comes from. I'm afraid to be this awesome all the time. I feel like I don't deserve it. I'm afraid people will start expecting too much from me. I wasn't even aware of all this fear, and I'm still working through it. But at least now I know.
I'm bad at moderation. I don't have any specific food vices or weaknesses. I can't just have one piece of cake (I had three pieces of the aforementioned birthday cake). My food vice is snarfing. I freaking love to snarf. Anything and everything. Skittles, grapes, brownies, baby carrots, whatevs. The all-or-nothing approach is best for my personal optimal health.
I actually really like eating this way. Vegetables are delicious. I don't think there is a vegetable I don't like. Sweet potatoes are one of my favorite things. Coconut milk in my coffee? Yes, PLEASE. Avocados upon avocados? Yum.
Anyway, it was quite interesting. I think every time I do one of these elimination challenges, I learn more about myself and I'm able to move on and do a little better each time. September was a case in backsliding, for sure, but not as bad as last time.
This afternoon, a woman in my weight room saw me deadlifting and said "That is so impressive." I said "Thank you!" even though I consider myself a middling intermediate lifter, at best. She said "How much is that?" and I told her (230lbs).
"Amazing!" she said. "You're such an inspiration. I can barely lift these little dumbbells."
I said "Thank you so much!" and went to go back to my deadlifts. But then I turned back and said "You know, I started with 7 pound dumbbells. You'd be surprised at what you can do!"
We're all at different points in our journey. We also don't get to choose who we do or don't inspire, and that is kind of neat in its own way.
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