I Gotta Vent

The place where I come to escape the bullshittery that is my life=) Welcome to the purest form of my thoughts. Each post is essentially a little piece of me

[thereignclub-trc]

Source

[surra-de-bunda]

A pregnant Lauryn Hill in NYC (1997).

[shopluu]

Pink tulle long prom dress

Shop: shopluu.com

[aidashakur]

[akuasucc]

[9710144]

[9710144]

[umrzec]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CI6WOF1B4dk/?igshid=1m1gd3v6ybisu

[prettymind27]

I just wish someone would demonstrate that they actually give a fuck about me.

[luxoffux]

[prettymind27]

This week has been a lesson in extending grace and forgiveness. Last weekend, I was fortunate enough to accept a new job. I was, and am, so excited and have been excited to share the news with my friends and family.

Unfortunately, I quickly found that some folks were not as emotionally available to really be happy for me. And that really hurt. For example, when I first told my family about the offer, the reaction fell pretty flat. My mom’s response was literally just “mhm.”

Then, in a discussion with my best friend about a potential trip, I mentioned I’d be starting a new job the week before the trip and the reaction was “Damn, you always working.” And thus, the two people I’d anticipated supporting me the most hadn’t even mustered a fake congratulations. Again, that shit hurt.

I cried for a bit, but then I remembered that just as folks can be emotionally unavailable to hear bad news, not everyone is emotionally available to good news. So I had to forgive that, extend grace and move on. I didn’t accept the job to impress them and so their reaction should not alter my attitude. 💕🥂

[painpoetry]

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[perfectfeelings]

“I know I have friends, but I feel like I have no one to talk to about the shit that goes in my head.”

—

[kalgalen]

I think a lot about gaining weight as a form of healing

[kalgalen]

Character: gets a lil bit fat after a life of hardships

Me: groundbreaking incredible life changing

[asimovsideburns]

Character: *gets fatter as a visual indicator that they have let their life collapse / they have let their skills erode and are less powerful than they were before / they have become lazy and complacent*

Me: no! bad!

Character: *gets fatter as a visual indicator that they are allowing themself to enjoy things / they are no longer experiencing previous hardships and dangers / they are generally happier*

Me: YEAH!!!!!

[sammyblep]

And it’s a real thing in real life! This is a real trend that happens to real people and happened to me!!! I was sick for eight months straight and felt the aftereffects for two years after that, lost a shit ton of weight, was told how great I looked and that it was incredible how I wasn’t fatter considering what I ate. (I had no ability to stomach food at the time and was eating almost purely starches and sugars just to get the calories I needed. It still wasn’t enough.)

Then, after months of this, I was finally getting better and I was eating more and I was putting on the weight I’d lost and I felt great, I felt like I had my body back.

And the same people who told me I looked great - the doctors who’d been unable to help (it was a real-hard-to-detect bitch of a disease) and the adults who’d taken care of me as best they could and some of the friends I had - all told me I should work to lose it. Go back to the weight I was while sick and work to stay there.

And, like, are you kidding?! I hated being that weight! I heard about how skinny I was so much I literally associated (and still do) being skinny with being sick because it was all anyone would goddamn talk about! I lost weight so fast I didn’t feel connected to my fucking body anymore and I talked about it, no less. How could anyone look at what I’d just been through, listen to me talk about what I’d just been through, and still say to my fucking face that I should eat less so I’d lose weight?

After a disease that literally made it almost impossible to eat enough to get through the day.

I love my chub. I have thick thighs and arm fat and a sizeable stomach and a double chin and I love it. I weigh so much more than I did when my entire life was nothing but being sick. Literally, the day I realized I was putting on weight again I cried from happiness, and I will never understand the people who told me I was worse off for it, and I will always celebrate when people are able to thrive enough to be fatter than they were when things were bad.

TL;DR, let people not only be fat and happy, not only fat because they are happy - also let people be happy because they are fat.

[natsujutsu]

Cartoon Network:

Tell the Whole Story | The Crystal Gems Say Be Anti-Racist

[skyakafreckles]

[l-auteuse]

Tell em off sis!!!!

[lookalivezay]

[missvanta-xoxo]

I’m shook! The Fandom is gagging!

[candiikismet]

Go off Pearl

[iused-tolove-her]

CN said fuck who yall thought we was… we anti-racist bitchhh

[penny-theunicorn]

The crystal gems been about it tho lol

[literarydeor]