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This crusty old doctor refused to entertain the thought of me having adhd because you're studying engineering no way you have adhd + you didn't show symptoms as a kid aka annoy the shit out of your parents

Also a bunch of stuff about my ethnic background making me more prone to anxiety disorders or whatever but they did give me a brain scan

I got a diagnosis of sensory processing disorder. I hope the drug they give me will work as a stopgap measure until I graduate, then i can get a job and try to find another expert

Anyway time to see if I will write more or less: more because I finally have more grease in the mental cogs or less because I can finally work on academia

god jo, among all my busyness, I had genuinely thought your appointment would be successful! I'm so sad that you had to deal with that shit!

i hold myself at the lowest esteem, but it feels like they assessed you with a bias? seems sketchy assessment across the board, I really wish it had gone better!!

disappointment aside, I hope the med helps you! i hope your online and offline joys and balms are available to you, always wishing the best for your academia battles 🙏🙏🙏

it's do or die week for my coursework as I said, final exams, projects, and papers, so I'll be away until the end of the week if I know what's good for me! I hope among the above i said earlier that you're around others other people that flourish ideas and fandoms in ways i never could! (i promise i type this positively!)

still lovely to see your stuff in my inbox ❤️

not much success in thinking my own stuff during busyness, or nothing SUBSTANTIAL anyway lol

did you know I apparently don't know big cup sizes? i thought ms loren was a d, but she's a c(?), and that iconic boob stare pic with miss jayne is jayne with d cups(?) i thought were f cups, and with THAT said, not all charts are apparently universal so who tf knows, AYE don't

all this to say i've been gracing andreaverse in my head with all sorts of sizes lol

a bit crass but i wondered if toni would go crazy if vittorio had these alleged f cups:

that or that's andreaverse pregnancy chest t/ts re: how to answer one of your others asks in my inbox lol (yemos at LEAST, not even pregnant, I just need ertas and eumaeus to go crazy whew)

as i said i have fog brain on a good day, so among busyness the only free think time i chisel at has been chest fun lol, I still long for your possible work re: vittorio patching fabi's injuries with his chest out.

oh i guess i also made some ref charts earlier this month for this personal other "project", and it was fun to remember how lovely they made angelo's hair god imagine if they did this with his current self i'm begging

i have to go now and lock in this week, but wishing luck for you jo ❤️

oh before i forget, when i'm back, i see this site is getting stupid with id stuff for some internet areas, are you blocked from m/ture tumblr posts? i'm fine atm and I hope you're good, but let me know in case I have to consider some posts to make sure you can still see them!

#panickcontent

have to log off for productive sleep, things may be hectic for me for 2+ weeks +the rest of this week schoolworkwise. May 15 is theo fficialish finish line, so gotta lock in for finals and projects etc, but MAYBE have time for some distractions if breaks are manageable

among other things, beloved shared enjoyment fun with you jo ofc, i will also be sinking into indulgences, you don't have to acknowledge or participate if you don't wan to jo lol absolutely no worries, but I WILL be using my limited brainpower to focus on them some days lol, all this to say angelo, yes angelo, is about to eat and fck some peaches in various ways that suit my cravings bc godDAMN

#angeloxenzo #angeloxfabio #enzoxangelo #fabioxangelo

#ianisxandrea

#he’s just doing whatever smh #arcangelipost

Me poking bilibili because of the 0 Andrea content should I make an account just to post his beautiful face

but he's my secret baby 😭

idk the ins and outs of bilibili, i've seen some good vibes, but are the vibes ever bad?

#panickcontent

Primo and Angelo would never have favorites but do you think Primo would prefer his kids to look/act more like Angelo or himself

Like does he dislike seeing himself reflected in his kids? Or does he just not care

i strongly believe he doesn't care, or at least consciously, although likely to butt heads with any of them if they match his angry challenging eyes, and has a soft spot for whoever inherits angelo's green eyes or curls

in "canon" ish settings, his empire has nowhere to go but up atm, so i think he'd just want them efficient, to hold their heads high, religious (lol), and respectful

can't visualize his whole parenting style, but a part feels like he should be somewhat mentally absent, not necessarily neglectful, but primo is a moving train of action so I can see him as important and participating in their lives, but also being busy or a party boy at times

to that end, i think angelo loves his children, but is also really young enough that he's a mix of enacting good parenting but also anxious like wtf am i doing with kids omfggggg, but nonna raised him well enough that he unknowingly has a knack for it, and the kids think his anxious/frustrated noises and hand gestures are funny instead of distressing, so angelo's always feeling like he's juggling dishplates but he does alright

#primoxangelo #panickprompt

That scene where primo touched Angelo's blood on the train tracks when tracking him and Paul but make it Angelo's slick, either still wet or dried flakes, and primo knows it's Angelo in heat because

1) it was still fresh enough to scent and Primo's intoxicated and swore to make Angelo his omega

2) Primo's been keeping track of Angelo's cycles for absolutely no reason at all, he tells Leonardo, who immediately demands how long has this been going on Primo

3) the slick was too old to determine by the scent who produced it buttt Primo knows Angelo's body calendar and knows he's due for a heat within the week, the stress probably had it start early

Don't mind me I've got a final in one week and thesis deadline in one month and as you can see, I'm getting increasingly deranged

I actually have a psychiatrist appointment and an adhd assessment on May 3 lmao so hopefully life will get easier

[wishing you success for hopeful adhd relief in your near future 🙏🙏🙏 my hope for your success in academia remains on a feedback loop as always lol, godspeed 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏]

u know, my general apprach to primo/angelo has centered on turning the gun moment around into sudden heat pouncing, but the flavor of 'always been obsessed' primo is admittedly delicious...📝

primo down so bad he's smelling angelo's bicycle seat oh much to think about 📝

#primoxangelo #panickprompt