i sing to the night

sidebar by vanny

[primadonnatartuffe]

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] began pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 17:32 -- 

IV: ryan 

IV: actually nevermind 

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] gave up pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 17:34 -- 

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering impenetrableVitality [IV] at 17:34 --  

PT: um NO you cant just pull that shit. 

PT: once you got me youre stuck with me. 

PT: whats up finnberly???

IV: oh uh 

IV: i don't know

PT: k... 

PT: well i wanna chat anyway. 

PT: im having a pretty choice day today. :100: :ok_hand:

PT: sipping this drank of the cafe variety. :coffee:

IV: that's good 

IV: do you mean coffee

PT: yessiree. courtesy of the coffee can. i fuckin love this place.

IV: where is it though

PT: downtown on skaia. around where my usual haunts are.

IV: is that place 

IV: like 

IV: okay

PT: liiiike? safe?? is that what youre asking?

IV: yeah i guess

PT: its all good in this hood. :heart:

IV: are you by yourself

PT: yeeees. currently.

IV: are you eating anything 

IV: are you by yourself by yourself or by yourself with people around

PT: there are people around yeah. in the restaurant. 

PT: otherwise its just me and mr coffee.

IV: maybe ask a few people if they know cpr

PT: finn... baby... 

PT: im not gonna choke on my coffee.

IV: no i mean just in case

IV: it might be good

PT: in case of what?

IV: in case there's 

IV: i don't know 

IV: a cardiac emergency 

IV: do they have an aed there 

IV: maybe you should make sure they do

PT: finn... 

PT: are you alright sweetie? you seem like youre freaking out a little.

IV: i'm fine 

IV: i just think it's important that people are educated

PT: it sure is!!! but i think its fine.

IV: well it's easy to think that

IV: i just want to make sure

PT: of course. no problemo. 

PT: but hey lets talk about something else!!! 

PT: guess what happened to me last night.

IV: are you okay

PT: yes FINN. im great in fact. :blush:

IV: oh

IV: are you sure

PT: YES FINN!!!!!!!

PT: this is me trying to share GOOD news.

IV: okay tell me

PT: well. 

PT: well well WELL well WELL.

PT: me and jack are kiiiinda back together.

IV: oh

IV: wow

IV: that's great

PT: I KNOW RIGHT.

IV: is he okay

PT: shit he better be amazing cuz hes got me.

IV: you have a point

PT: I KNOW RIGHT.

IV: right

PT: in general tho he seems fine.

IV: they have an aed

PT: what??

IV: i called the place

IV: they have one

IV: in case you were wondering

PT: ... 

PT: umm okay i wasnt but... 

PT: are you sure youre alright??

IV: do you know how to use one IV: that's okay it tells you how to use one anyway

IV: it literally talks to you

PT: :confused:

PT: okay i definitely know youre not alright cuz youre ignoring me!!!!

IV: no i just need to tell you that

IV: it's by the bathroom

PT: duly noted. 

PT: finnnnn.

IV: yeah

PT: talk to me. youre acting weird.

IV: 30 chest compressions 2 rescue breaths 

IV: you can use it for a lot of things  

IV: maybe the people around you should know too

PT: I DIDNT MEAN TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT.

IV: sorry

IV: oh you have to open the airway too don't forget that

PT: mmmmmmmoh my god.

IV: does jack know

IV: i should tell him

PT: youre starting to worry me... 

PT: dont make me call colt.

IV: you don't need to call him he's fine 

IV: i'm fine 

IV: it's fine

PT: are you sure something isnt going on??

IV: i don't know

PT: tell me whats going on in your head right now.

IV: i don't know 

IV: i'm

IV: this was a mistake

IV: another one on top of another one that everybody saw coming

PT: nooo baby its fine.

PT: you fuss at me just lemme fuss at you. 

PT: its the law of equivalent friend exchange.

IV: he was right the whole time

IV: what am i doing

PT: who?? ill fight him.

IV: i'm not really different am all am i 

IV: i'm just 

IV: doing the same things

PT: :frowning2:

IV: i'll probably ruin her life and think i'm helping her but i'm not

IV: i have to go

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] gave up pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 20:36 --

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering impenetrableVitality [IV] at 20:38 --  

PT: no you dont!! hey! 

PT: finn listen. 

PT: you can talk to me alright? 

PT: if you feel like a fuck up just know youre talking to the Ultimate fuck up so im the last person who would ever judge you for whatever is going on in your head. 

PT: i wanna listen... i wanna be more helpful... 

PT: come on. please?

IV: i need to go i have to

IV: i have to stop doing this

IV: i have to stop

PT: hey hey. 

PT: it doesnt work that way alright?? 

PT: shit happens sometimes. 

PT: but it passes too... yeah? 

PT: i fucked up last night too finn. 

PT: i started drinking again... but i know for a fact it couldve wound up way worse. 

PT: and im okay! im gonna be okay even if i slipped up. you know what i mean? its the same with you.

IV: i brought an innocent life into all of my shit 

IV: i have to make sure she's safe 

IV: she's not safe with me

PT: baby youre doing a great job with her!! anybody can see that. 

PT: just because youre sick doesnt mean you gotta stop living your life. 

PT: youve got friends whove got your back... and theres nothing wrong with that. 

PT: shit i mean we were all basically raised by our parents friends along with our parents too right??? shes got the same kind of environment. i cant think of any place safer than where she is right now.

IV: i don't know 

IV: i don't want to keep hurting people

PT: i know... it sucks. 

PT: but its gonna be okay. i promise.

IV: fuck

PT: yeah let all your fucks out.

IV: i think i need help 

IV: i'm by myself right now 

IV: well me and sofia 

IV: i think i

IV: need to

IV: something i don't know

PT: well hey i can come over if you want.

IV: please

PT: okay gimme like... 45 mins or so since colts gotta live in the middle of bfe. 

PT: ill be RIGHT over. hang in there.

IV: okay the door is IV: is it locked or unlocked 

IV: i should know this 

IV: oh no

PT: i figure colt locks the door when he leaves. so just lemme in when i get there! 

PT: okay message me if you need to but im omw. 

RYAN: -pockets her device, fleeing the coffee shop and making her way to the transportalizer hub. with a quick zap she's on odimist, but the longer neck of her journey is getting a cab out to colt's place. she arrives at her estimated time... give or take a few minutes, but probably give, but of course no one can ever arrive early during emergencies. still, she's here, and she's knocking on the door while also texting finn that she's here.-

FINN: -his fingers feel numb and so do his his toes and so does his mouth in a weird way, but that's probably due to how messed up his breathing is. he's terrified he's going to drop sofia, that his arms will just give out from underneath her, so it's taking him a long time to get to the door-

RYAN: -that's fine... she can be patient... but not really. she peeps through the front window to see if she can spot him anywhere inside.-

FINN: -she can. He's mostly still other than the tiny steps he's taking and the steps he's taking backwards before he goes forward again. it makes sense in his head,  somehow-

RYAN: -frowns through the window at him. does she wait? does she try something else? she's REALLY not good at this, but dammit she's trying. she taps on the window now?? maybe that'll snap him out of it long enough to get her in there.-

FINN: -he looks up suddenly at the window tapping and has an expression of embarrassment on his face before he looks around frantically and just holds sofia closer as he goes to open the door. Finally, the door opens-

RYAN: -SUCCESS. she scurries over, looking up at him with big concerned eyes.- heeey buddy. 

RYAN: im here now.

FINN: hi 

FINN: sorry

RYAN: -flaps a hand- its all good. 

RYAN: hey sofia. -smiles a little at her and then kinda dances around finn to get inside.-

SOFIA: -stares at Ryan- 

FINN: -just looks really frazzled- i uh 

FINN: um

RYAN: -puts a hand on his back and starts rubbing in small circles.- shhh its cool. 

RYAN: maybe we should sit down??

FINN: -he takes a moment and nods before looking down at the baby again- yeah probably

RYAN: -starts guiding him to the couch.- alright alright alriiiight. 

RYAN: -plops down and plops her hand on the cushion next to her.-

FINN: -sits carefully- 

FINN: i need to wash my hands 

FINN: you need to wash your hands

RYAN: huh?? oh... because of the baby? 

RYAN: i can do that now... then we can trade off and you can go wash your hands?

FINN: do you remember how to hold her RYAN: yeah yeah of course. -gets up and scurries over to the kitchen to wash her hands in the sink, quickly returning to them.-

RYAN: okay i got this.

FINN: -he looks so worried but he carefully hands her over to ryan- you got her RYAN: i got her finn. i promise. -coos at the baby as she takes her.-

RYAN: hi again sofia. did you miss me? FINN: -watches the two of them as he leaves the room and bumps into the wall before disappearing into the kitchen to wash his hands. he returns after a few minutes.- maybe we should change 

SOFIA: -subtly wiggles- RYAN: nah... besides were all cozy here right? -snuggles sofia- we can relax. FINN: maybe we should though 

FINN: just in case 

FINN: the fabric is laced with deadly germs RYAN: -gazes at him a little bit- yeah... nah... that doesnt just happen. i think its cool. FINN: remember smallpox blankets RYAN: ... noooo?? FINN: it was a thing

RYAN: well thats cool but! pretty sure were good.

RYAN: lets talk about something else okay?

FINN: -sits back down and his fingers are digging into the couch cushion- RYAN: ...

RYAN: actually i think im gonna sing something.

RYAN: what do you wanna hear baby?

FINN: who RYAN: you. the bigger baby. FINN: oh

FINN: i don't think i have a great taste in music RYAN: okay i know youre tone deaf but you can still like music. everybody does.

RYAN: but alright leave it to me.

RYAN: just focus on listening alright? FINN: okay RYAN: -takes a breath- i know i havent been perfect but give it some time.

RYAN: cuz not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind.

RYAN: and we spend our lives looking for things we cant find.

RYAN: oh but not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind.

RYAN: all the days you spend on my mind.

RYAN: all the times that id say that well be together. well be together oh.

RYAN: all the ways you see through my heart.

RYAN: i know the good intentions they won't last forever wont last forever.

FINN: -listens to her sing and watches her, trying to focus on her voice and not anything else. it's beautiful- 

SOFIA: -YAAAAAS this is great. she gurgles-

RYAN: -smiles down at sofia.- all the hours weve spent on the line.

RYAN: all the times that youd say that i never listen i never listen

RYAN: through the conversations weve had til 4 am.

RYAN: you say you want something different want something different.

RYAN: and i know i havent been perfect but give it some time.

RYAN: cuz not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind.

RYAN: and we spend our lives looking for things we cant find.

RYAN: oh but not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind. -looks over at finn when she's done.-

FINN: -he looks calmer now. If not just a little- that was 

FINN: really nice

RYAN: -smiles softly.- yeah i know haha. 

RYAN: thanks man.

SOFIA: aaaaa 

FINN: did you just inherit a good singing voice

RYAN: haha i mean kinda? but it takes a lot of training too.

FINN: i think i'm untrainable

RYAN: i mean... we cant ALL be fabulous singers.

FINN: that would probably get a little annoying

RYAN: yeah man. i wouldnt feel very special haha... singing is basically all im good at.

FINN: that's not true 

SOFIA: nnnnn

RYAN: -bounces sofia a little in her arms, cooing at her.- 

RYAN: well i never pass up the opportunity to hear about myself sooo tell me what else im good at. :wink:

SOFIA: -wow this is the best time of her life- 

FINN: it's a long list but okay 

FINN: good at livening up a party good at being a good friend good at doing hair and makeup good at acting good with sofia good at not giving up

RYAN: -oh... dammit. why does she ask this stuff if she doesn't want sappy sentimental answers? she laughs a little and sighs.- ... thanks finn.

FINN: you're welcome 

 FINN: it's true

RYAN: -sniff... ugh. she's been feeling an awful lot of emotions these past couple days. she didn't ASK for this. accepting genuine, heartfelt compliments is hard so she tries to just focus on one. one thing she's curious about.- 

RYAN: you think im good with sofia?

FINN: well yeah FINN: -his expression softens- you're kind of a natural FINN: she loves you

RYAN: well the feeling is mutual sofia. -grins lopsided at her.- 

RYAN: i do kinda... like kids more than i would expect if someone like me. i dunno...

SOFIA: -good bitch you better love me- 

FINN: that's why assumptions are stupid

RYAN: troo. 

RYAN: ... maybe id have fun being a mom.

FINN: you can babysit her sometime if you want

RYAN: yeah? alright. 

RYAN: just call me whenever. not like im ever busy.

FINN: come on you have to be busy sometimes

RYAN: busy being SEXY sure.

FINN: -smiles a little- entertaining jack is that time consuming huh

RYAN: PFF no way i make him entertain me. 

RYAN: i only have to rely on my sexy personality around him since he cant see shit.

FINN: oh yes makes perfect sense

RYAN: -snickers- ... you know its kind of surreal. 

RYAN: like how naturally we kinda fell into it but... 

RYAN: -sighs- were both scared too?? and thats like... a reality of the situation we arent sure how to deal with. does that make sense??

FINN: -looks off for a moment- i know exactly what you mean

RYAN: yeah... 

RYAN: i just want it to work.

RYAN: i really feel like it could if i just... knew what to do.

FINN: -he looks off- yeah 

FINN: i uh 

FINN: i get it 

FINN: i might be going through the same thing

RYAN: -glances at him- yeah?

FINN: -his cheeks redden a little bit- yeah

RYAN: :eyes:

FINN: -scratches his head nervously- yeah i 

 FINN: saw emilet again

RYAN: oh reeeeally?

FINN: -HE'S SO RED- yeah 

FINN: i did -he saw a LOT of emilet-

RYAN: heheh aww finn. always getting up to something. 

RYAN: guess this means we can flail at each other while we flounder through familiar but tumultuous waters. 

 RYAN: be my lifeboat hombre.

FINN: okay

FINN: if you'll be mine

RYAN: -smiles, soft and sincere.- of course.

FINN: -smiles a little, taking a breath- colt's not 

FINN: too happy about it 

FINN: but things are different this time

RYAN: hes a grumpy gus anyway. 

RYAN: ... a neigh sayer if you will. 

RYAN: but man whatever floobs your boobs. even if it isnt different its your decision to make you know?

FINN: -he nods- you know the person that just 

FINN: you're with them and you know they're important to you 

FINN: then you're away from them 

FINN: and then when you're back in the same room you realize they were always the most important person to you a ll along

RYAN: -she laughs a little.- shit i mean yeah. 

RYAN: except for me its more like i definitely repressed all those feelings like every day until we were in the same room together. 

RYAN: and hes looking so different but so good and its like. 

RYAN: well fuck me i guess. 

RYAN: in every sense.

FINN: -laughs a little too- been there done that

RYAN: come on finn that goes without saying. 

RYAN: youre like the sluttiest person i know. and thats coming from ME.

FINN: -just slowly shrugs and smiles-

RYAN: -SNRRRKKK- goddammit finn!! -elbows him as best she can with a baby in her arms.-

FINN: ow hey 

FINN: you're the most violent person i know

RYAN: thats right bitch. ill fuck you up.

FINN: not with her you won't

RYAN: damn... true.

SOFIA: -whines a little and scrunches up her face-

RYAN: aw sofia im not really gonna fuck him up. 

RYAN: (im just telling her that to relax her.) -snickers and bounces her a little though.- 

RYAN: you think shes tired?

SOFIA: -starts to cry. life is hard- 

FINN: that or hungry or she needs to be changed 

 FINN: that girl can eat 

FINN: que paso sofia

RYAN: oh shit. good. 

RYAN: youre a growin girl. -smiles at finn, glad he's really calmed down now.- 

RYAN: want her back?

FINN: -puts his arms out- yeah sure 

FINN: she's probably tired 

SOFIA: -she's tired and upset about it-

RYAN: bet youre tired too. -hands sofia off to him carefully.-

FINN: -takes this cute little sad baby into his arms and he feels so much better about it than he did before- yeah 

FINN: but she has to sleep first

RYAN: naturally. 

RYAN: ... can i come with you when you put her to bed? -strangely curious about this routine.-

FINN: -looks over at ryan for a moment and then smiles- sure

RYAN: cool. cool cool cool. -smiles a little back-

FINN: -stands up and shooshes sofia- follow me

RYAN: -rises to her feet, hovering closely- :eyes:

FINN: -walks into sofia's room where he flips on the light. this is such a baby room, with a lot of pastel colors and a very secure crib. there are a lot of stuffed animals in the crib, but not so much that it affects her sleeping. his first stop is the changing table, where he takes the crying baby and sets her down- don't feel obligated to watch this part

[primadonnatartuffe]

I got fire eyes, glitter in my tear lines And I'm coming down, ready for some new sounds And I'm holding up all that I can think of But, where are you? Where are you? Oh, lonely babe, stranded on the dance floor Look for me, I know that I'm a handful But you get me, know what you signed up for Live up to the best and the worst of your dreams

All the cards with all the love cliches I wouldn't have it any other way Shake your head, you don't believe this Then what the fuck do you think love is?

[primadonnatartuffe]

--lagomorphUnion [LU] began pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT]-- 

LU: Hey 

LU: Just checking in

PT; oh heeeey. 

PT: so you are. :wink:

PT: did you like the song i sent you?

LU: I thought it was cute

LU: Those other songs were interesting too

LU: Like the one you sent for Jack

PT: yeah??? 

PT: theres just something about marvin gaye that always reminds me of jack. :thinking:

LU: Mmhm

LU: You guys sure have reconnected

PT: :blush:

PT: yeah... we sure have.

LU: Yep

LU: Thats pretty cool

PT: agreed. :heart:

PT: i uh 

PT: really missed him...

LU: I could tell

LU: Its nice that you two reconnected and all 

LU: I like seeing you both happy

LU: Maybe Dad will feel the same once he stops being skeptical of Jack =BI

PT: what? seriously??? hes got an attitude about him? what for?

LU: Probably something about the break up

LU: Dont know didnt ask when he hmphed and said 

LU: He better be good to her =BU 

LU: Thats the face Im imagining he made

LU: Point is it felt weird to comment on by dad being weird about my brother hanging out with his ex who is my sister

PT: jesus can you like not word it that way if anybody ever asks? thats some hillbilly bullshit that one could easily connect to my texan heritage and i dont want anyone getting the wrong idea!!! 

PT: especially since we arent really... exes anymore.

LU: Okay

LU: Ill be sure to word it like my brother dating his old ex who is my sister

PT: STOPPP.

LU: No 

LU: If Im being subjected to this Im going to continue phrasing it however I want texan hillbilly implications withstanding

PT: ugh!!! :unamused:

PT: well whatever. you and dad can be as weird as you want about it. because it isnt ACTUALLY weird. 

PT: and im happy.

LU: If you say so 

LU: But Im glad your happy

LU: Just tell Dad not to judge Jack too much

PT: oh ill be sure to give him a piece of my mind.

LU: Cool

PT: :triumph:

PT: id do that right now if it wasnt so late. whoops.

LU: Knock on his door

LU: Say hey dad stop thinking poorly of my boyfriend

LU: It will be a funny story he can recount later

PT: loool. 

PT: my mom would love that too. 

PT: imma do it.

LU: Do it

LU: Let me here how it goes

PT: im sure hell complain to you about it later. :stuck_out_tongue:

LU: Um no because how would he know Im involved

LU: You are the one who is going to wake him up

PT: i just mean he clearly likes to complain about me to you. pfff.

PT: me and my gosh dang life choices.

PT: questionable behaviors and boyfriends.

LU: Its more like its kind of the reverse

LU: But its whatever I wouldnt stress on it

PT: rude. but unsurprising. 

PT: im not gonna stress. im just gonna harass my father in the wee hours of the night.

LU: Your Mom too 

LU: A sad casualty

LU: Also just so you know Im going to give Jack a similar weird talk

LU: Reminding him just how Im connected to everyone 

LU: He will get a kick out of it

LU: Or hate me for it

LU: Either way though teasing is achieved

LU: Consider it the hazing that officiates your relationships reinstatement

PT: BLUH. if you gotta. :sweat:

PT: whatever makes it officially official. :heart:

PT: but anyways im outta here!!

LU: Pfft okay

LU: Go have fun waking up the house

PT: I WILL. 

PT: GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY!!! 

 -- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] ceased pestering lagomorphUnion [LU] --

[primadonnatartuffe]

RYAN: -tonight is the night ryan would fall off the wagon after spending way too long in a bar singing, fending off offers to buy her drinks as well as her own impulses. but this is what happens when you put yourself in these kinds of locations. it was only a matter of time.- 

RYAN: -pain pills are easy enough to come by, and even easier to choke down when you're drunk. a wild evening results in ryan making her usual commute back home, late at night, on her own... making her an easy target for a mugging.- 

RYAN: -things get a little hazy after that point. but she remembers seeing jack arrive on the scene before blacking out.- 

RYAN: -... and then she woke up, back at the bar where it all began. she snorts awake from a puddle of drool with the bar tender tapping her head and telling her they're closing. she had a half finished drink which apparently made her both sleepy and guilty enough to pass out and have some kind of shitty nightmare. or... something. regardless, it's time to make the trek home, but her mind is still buzzing.- 

RYAN: -she's been having an awful lot of realistic dreams lately. way more than she has her entire life. jack seems to play a role in a considerable number of them, but she finds it unsettling in this case. this isn't her idealizing him rescuing her. it's more like... a very plausible thing if he ever saw her getting into trouble in one of his visions. and the idea of that makes her feel incredibly guilty.- 

RYAN: -she snaps out of her thoughts long enough to notice she's coming upon the alley from her dream. it would be wise to avoid it, but she wants to prove to herself it was just a dream... it would all be alright, like every other evening. and besides, she'd be on her toes anyway. she can fend for herself. still, her heart races as she turns down that street.-

JACK: -It's a feeling that creeps up his spine and settles with a heavy weight in his mind. Nagging and insistent, Jack knows no rest until he's forced to emerge from his apartment and pace the Skaian streets. He knows this feeling by now, like tuning into a radio station full of scenarios that chill his blood in a terribly familiar way.- 

JACK: -He can practically taste the dread in his mouth. His hands feel for a pack tucked into the pocket of his windbreaker until he's fishing out the cig he's searching for. Before too long, Jack has it tucked between his teeth. The tobacco burning in a (failed) hope of stowing off the metallic tang on his tongue.- 

JACK: -While his feet carry him down the turns of concrete and crosswalks, images begin to press to the blanket of sightlessness that were his eyes. Taking him an hour, half an hour, moments into the future. Stringlets of fate belonging to complete strangers, they paint Jack's surroundings to perfect clarity. He can See the darkened street where Ryan turns. Her steps hobbled and uncertain, the very opposite of sober.- 

JACK: -He also Sees when the three figures depart from the bar, having watched Ryan the whole time she'd spent drinking and then finally leaving on her own. A few seconds of context and clairvoyant observation left Jack knowing their intention. They were faceless, strangers in his visions, except for Ryan. Her face he would recognize anywhere and he realizes... He doesn't have much time to revel in the picturesque details he'd been missing out on.- 

JACK: -And so Jack takes a short cut, cutting straight through an alley where he might intercept Ryan on the other side. No need for conflict if he can avoid it. His hand shoots out to catch her at the elbow.- (Ryan.)

RYAN: -as alert as she tries to be, naturally she's glancing around nervously in all directions except the one jack suddenly emerges from. she feels his hand on her, stirring up a yelp and a startled jump.- JESUS FUCK. 

RYAN: -her heart beats right out of her chest and it only starts to settle when she recognizes the dimly lit figure beside her.- (jack???) 

RYAN: (what are you doing here?) -she doesn't sound entirely clueless, but she asks it all the same.-

JACK: -He can sense the group's balk in the distance as they see his interception of Ryan. But it'll only be a moment, just long enough for Jack to take her by the hand and zip further into the alley.- (No time.)

JACK: -Navigates with surprising finesse for a blind guy. Managing to avoid crates, broken bottles, garbage cans, anything that will cut it close to an encounter with their would-be pursuers. Within a few minutes, Jack is pulling Ryan in... only to duck with her into the archway of a backway door. The locked from the outside kind, probably belonging to the grounded restaurant kitchen beyond. His visions told him as much.- 

JACK: -He keeps a hand to her, hushing her while he listened and searched the immediate future. They were certainly out of sight now...-

RYAN: -alright, so much for her calming down. she sputters one last incoherent protest before the pair of them bob and weave through the alley's obstacles. this is all too fucking Real, she thinks, and it certainly doesn't quell her paranoid fears that what she saw was, in some way, her fate.- 

RYAN: -they linger in the archway, but the pause does nothing to quiet her racing thoughts or the unpleasant churn of anxiety in her stomach. she looks to jack, leaning into him a little to try to relax and trust that whatever is going on, he's got it under control better than she does. because what the fuck???- 

RYAN: -exhales after a moment and turns towards him to hiss a whisper.- (we got time now?)

JACK: -As the prospect of danger fades, so does his pseudo-ability to see. Everything takes to the comfort of pitch black and once again, Jack is left alone with the hush of Ryan's voice in his ear. The smell of booze is on her breath, the same way the cigarette smell must be clinging to his own clothes.- 

JACK: -his hand releases her and finds its way to her shoulder, squeezing at her in a way he hopes is reassuring.- Yes. 

JACK: We'll give it another minute or two. -talks as if they're avoiding something like a sudden bout of rain instead of... what just could have been.-

RYAN: alright. -she fidgets, but manages to collect herself as quiet returns between them. there are things she'd like to say that she isn't sure how.- 

RYAN: ... jack? i uh... 

RYAN: -sighs- there were guys following me. right?

JACK: -There's no point in lying... but he doesn't like the tension in her voice either. Despite everything, he would still prefer not to take it as what it could have been but rather what it is now. Ryan, safe because of his own intervention. He would count his lucky stars if he could.- 

JACK: There were.

JACK: But safe to say, they're gone now. -blinks and kind of registers their proximity of one another. Crossing his arms, Jack turns to lean back against the door instead, lining her shoulder up by his own.- Lucky break.

RYAN: ... i knew about them. 

RYAN: but i didnt think it would actually happen. 

RYAN: i mean... fuck. -runs a hand through her hair.- how do i put this? 

RYAN: -she turns her head to look at him again, confused and scared, but if anyone would understand, it had to be him... right?- i keep having these dreams. theyre always about me... things that happen to me. and they feel so real. but they never... theyve never happened. 

RYAN: i saw those guys coming after me. but even in that dream it was different. 

RYAN: ... i dunno. maybe its just a coincidence. im basically a sitting duck walking out here on my own.

JACK: Not always, you know. Just this one time. -gently nudges her with an elbow. He can't see how confused and fearful her expression is, but he can certainly hear it in her words. Jack opts to keep a cool head.- When did you have this dream.

RYAN: -scoffs and nudges him back.- just earlier today. 

RYAN: at the bar. 

RYAN: ... after i drank a little. 

RYAN: i guess i fell asleep.

JACK: -falls quiet and thoughtful at that, focusing on the circumstance. It was unique to say the least and one he couldn't help but identify with.- Is this a recent thing? You say dreams in the plural sense of the word.

RYAN: -nods slowly- yeah. for the past... month or so? 

RYAN: theyre usually about... shit like this. 

RYAN: me making poor decisions or getting into trouble or... 

RYAN: uhh... -glances off, flustered when she remembers the bulk of the things she dreams about. whoops.- mostly just that.

JACK: -strokes a thumb at his chin, nodding. Ohhh if he knew what she was thinking.- It's interesting. 

JACK: But something you can't expect to know the ins and outs of right away. 

JACK: I would suggest you take it with a grain of salt. Maybe... -drops the cane from his sylladex, weighing it in one hand for a moment.- Try not to tempt fate so often. 

JACK: The dreams are there for a reason.

RYAN: mrgg. well that much is obvious to me. -rubs at her head, feeling annoyed with herself when she reflects back on all these potential disasters she's gotten herself into. but of course, not everything she dreams about is regrettable.- 

RYAN: sometimes thats easier said than done. 

RYAN: but hey. im trying to be wiser. 

RYAN: -glances down at the ground, then loops her arm with his.- youre walking home with me of course.

JACK: I can't see an instance where I don't. -ba dum tshh. He's glad to take her arm in his and takes the lead out of the alley way. Truly homefree.- I don't suppose you mean my home. Or yours.

RYAN: -HOME IS WHEREVER I'M WITH YOOOOUUU.- 

RYAN: well... technically were closer to my place from here but. 

RYAN: i think id rather crash with you. if thats alright.

JACK: I won't oppose you... -when it comes time for them to take that street turn, Jack leads them on.- But on a more serious note. 

JACK: I'm also going to suggest you stay away from the kareoke bars a while. 

JACK: It's... not an easy thing. Relapsing. -squeezes at her wrist a little. As if reminding.-

RYAN: yeah... -as he squeezes her wrist, she finds herself drifting closer to him, brushing elbows.- 

RYAN: guess thatd count as making wiser decisions. 

RYAN: -she quiets, her train of thought bringing her away from him again, though she keeps her hand on his arm.- im... sorry jack.

JACK: -a smile quirks on his face as their elbows brush.- No need to be. 

JACK: I was here this time. I'd say if anything, this night turned out well. It's what's real and it's what matters.

RYAN: -that answer surprises her a little, but it's a relief.- i guess so... 

RYAN: i just dont wanna worry you. that you gotta hunt me down like that. 

RYAN: im... trying.

JACK: If anyone knows how hard you're trying, it's me. -says, squeezing at her knuckles now.- And I won't worry either. 

JACK: I can put off pre-mature grays for only so long.

RYAN: -that makes her smile and she returns to leaning against him, taking his hand up in hers just to squeeze back.- fair. 

RYAN: i can rest assured knowing youre gonna look good gray too. -snickers-

JACK: You know for a fact? -sounds bemused- 

JACK: I don't suppose your dreams tell you as much.

RYAN: i mean its hard to go wrong. 

RYAN: youre somehow pulling off this disheveled gives no fucks look after all. -ruffles his hair with her free hand.-

JACK: Thank you. -smiles, glad for the hair mussings.- 

JACK: The secret is forgetting that combs exist from time to time. At least twice a week.

RYAN: oh yeah. at the very least. id be surprised if you even own one anymore. -the closer they get to jack's place, the more her heart rate quickens. she worries if this is real, and if she's going to do something she shouldn't again. it's only a matter of time before that becomes a reality too, isn't it? she tries to tell herself it's probably in her head, but it doesn't stop the anxiety.- 

RYAN: ... by the way thanks for letting me stay with you so often. i know neither of you would wanna turn me away but you know. i appreciate being welcome all the time. -shrugs a little.-

JACK: -It's just like Ryan to shrug off an honest sentiment. So the blind guy leads the buzzed girl up the stairs and it goes about as well as one expects. He nods, holding her hand and feeling up the stair rails with the free hand.- 

JACK: If it was your house, you would be doing the same for me. -touches the first door but it's obviously not their house. He guides Ryan all the way to the third. He begins fiddling with his keys to get the door unlocked.- I personally enjoy having space to my own. 

JACK: No moms or dads staying up late to make sure I'm home in one piece. I appreciate their concern but nine times out of ten, I'm perfectly fine. -rambles the whole way into the house. Predictably, Audrey the pitbull greets them with a sniff and a boop of her nose at their hands. Oh yeah. Jack should probably release that now.-

RYAN: -NEVER. but it's alright, her hands are now occupied giving this pup pets.- tell me about it... 

RYAN: one of these days ill have my own place again. or i can room with someone i guess. since russet suggested it i kinda feel compelled to resist it with all my being. 

RYAN: plus i just... ya know. dont wanna burden anybody until im in a better place. 

RYAN: ... but then again i guess im kinda doing that already without necessarily burdening anybody so hey. 

RYAN: not that im suggesting i room with yall but uh yeah thats just where my train of thought took me. 

RYAN: ... -wanders inside, but she's lingering a little awkwardly like she isn't sure if she wants to sit or not.-

JACK: All the couch needs is a plaque with your name on it. -He doesn't seem to mind that she lingers, shuffling off for his kitchen like he is. After a few minutes and from the smell of it, Jack is making himself a mug of hot chocolate.- I know Sage would like the prospect of extended sleepovers.

RYAN: -belatedly decides to hover, joining him in the kitchen.- heh. without a doubt. 

RYAN: hey... make me one. -prods at him.-

JACK: -lets her have this drink he's already done preparing.- Fine. -gets to making himself another. Feeling around a cabinet for another mug.- 

JACK: I think you should consider a roommate though. It's a system that works wonders on Sage and I. Hell. 

JACK: It's best if you can find someone you can fuss at the same way they fuss at you. That way you don't feel like it's a burdening dynamic. It's how it works for us.

RYAN: -scoffs...- oh wait youre serious. 

RYAN: i dunno if i know anyone that i can fuss at. pretty much everyone i know has their shit together waaay more than i do. -sips the chocolate as she leans against a counter and thinks about this.-

JACK: It helps not to make those assumptions. -stirs the powder into the hot water with a spoon.- But again. 

JACK: Just an idea.

RYAN: :P 

RYAN: its something to consider i guess. maybe ill get lucky. or however that works.

JACK: You could ask your dreams about it. -licks the spoon, tapping it at his mouth in contemplation.- Another hypothetical thought.

RYAN: yeah right. maybe if i want some insight on the worst candidates for the position since so far theyve only been good for warning me not to be a complete dunderfuck. 

RYAN: or to be like prepared. 

RYAN: for things. 

RYAN: that some people apparently arent prepared for. 

RYAN: since theyre not all bad dreams so. i dunno maybe youre onto something. -STOP WHILE YOU STILL CAN RYAN. she squints at her mug and takes a generous gulp.-

JACK: So if they're not bad, they must be good. -sips his own mug, elbow leaned back against the counter.- I say you give it a try.

RYAN: guess it cant hurt! 

RYAN: -she's feeling flustered all over again now that they're back to this subject. she wonders if it's something she should address, or if that would be an even worse decision. maybe she can be subtle about it.- 

RYAN: heeeeeeey. actually while were still talking about my whacky dream shenanigans... 

RYAN: so some of them arent exactly bad... sure... maybe they are actually really good! 

RYAN: but what if they arent? i mean if the running theme of every other dream is something i shouldnt do then maybe these good dreams could be categorized as the same thing. 

RYAN: and even if they ARENT then what DO they mean? since as you said they mean SOMETHING...

JACK: -fishes out a marshmallow before answering.- Tough question but it's a good one to ask. 

JACK: From my perspective, the visions manifest as... often worst-case scenarios. What would happen if I don't do "x". But your dreams? You can't say they're the same thing. 

JACK: Maybe it's not inherently about good or bad but rather your decisions. And what comes out of them. That make sense?

RYAN: -turns the mug in her hand.- when you put it like that... yeah. it does. -baccia said more or less the same thing, but it still raises some questions.- 

RYAN: but i guess in this case im not sure... what would come out of it... if i did wind up doing those things. and thats why im wary of it. 

RYAN: cuz it could be great. or it could totally set u-- uhh. me... up for disaster and its... 

RYAN: -glances down at the hot chocolate.- its something i really wouldnt wanna fuck up.

JACK: Hmmm. Well. 

JACK: Great or not, I guess... just like with most major, uncertain decisions. 

JACK: You would have to make a gamble on whether it's worth going through with or not. Not that I'm the best candidate to offer such advice. -snorts a little into his drink.- But the possibilities still stand.

RYAN: -quiets, shuffling her feet and letting all this rattle around in her head. then she shuffles her feet over to him, standing shoulder to shoulder again.- 

RYAN: ... 

RYAN: ... 

RYAN: theyre sex dreams.

RYAN: a metric fuck ton of sex dreams. 

RYAN: aboutttttt... yooouuu?

JACK: -He can physically hear the record scratch in his head as he takes a long hard gulp of hot chocolate. Scalding his mouth and leaving him to stifle the wheeze. He deserved this.- Mgh. Ghhhhf. 

JACK: -SWALLOWS.- Metric fuck ton. 

JACK: Of... chronologically probable sex dreams. -Has to repeat it to make sure he's hearing this right.-

RYAN: yeeeeeup. 

RYAN: im only kind of exaggerating. hahaha. 

RYAN: oh god.

RYAN: -hello darkness my old friend...-

JACK: -stands there with his mug like mmmmmmmygod.- "Kind of". -clears his throat and shakes his head.- 

JACK: How often do they occur before you have to qualify something as "a metric fuck ton"? -He's almost afraid to ask but well. Here he is. Staring into the void.-

RYAN: like... i dunno... about as often as i stay over??? 

RYAN: i say... after deciding to stay over.

RYAN: fuck.

JACK: Well. That... 

JACK: ... -ends up holding his chin just to grasp the gravity of all that she's implying.- 

JACK: Certainly... puts things into perspective.

RYAN: lmaoooo. 

RYAN: yeah i... okay im not just bringing this up so we can be collectively ashamed of ourselves. 

RYAN: i figure... if all these dreams are about my decisions and shit then im DECIDING to talk about it instead of jumping your bones. or waiting for you to jump my bones. or for both of us to jump at each other at the same time. 

RYAN: ... -puts her head in her hand and SIGHS- not that those details matter... or i guess maybe they do if these are things that actually couldve happened. 

RYAN: cuz that means... it isnt just me...?

JACK: -he gnaws absently on his thumb as she rambles. Picturing all the times he shuffled around, debating. Knowing he wasn't going to go through with it but wanting to. Fantasizing?? Even just remembering was bringing some sweat to his forehead.- ...Christ. 

JACK: It's... a pickle. To say the least. -chews his thumb.- Sorry. 

JACK: I'm probably not much help with this. -wheezes gently.-

RYAN: -frowns- you could be though? 

RYAN: like clearly theres an elephant in the room we should be addressing. 

RYAN: or!! its something i want to address. 

RYAN: because it sucks just sitting on how im feeling. and i know i suck at talking about it. but i wanna try to be better at that too. 

RYAN: especially... especially with you.

JACK: -takes a deep breath... ultimately nodding. He runs his hand through his hair.- Yeah. 

JACK: You're right. It's just... 

JACK: God. -brings a hand and runs it down his face.- It's fucking insane. -says muffled.- 

JACK: Sometimes... fantasies oughta stay fantasies, huh? -drops his hands back down to his sides.- Sheesh.

RYAN: ... maybe. 

RYAN: but why is it... on our minds in the first place? and so frequently??? 

RYAN: its not... mmrg. 

RYAN: its not just a fantasy for me. its not just about fucking around. okay?

JACK: -he sobers up a little, unsure of himself but dammit. Wanting to give talking it through a try.- I know. That's not what I meant. 

JACK: I just... 

JACK: Thought it was a safe thing. 

JACK: Letting myself be indecisive.

JACK: You know it never works out if we think too much so... often times it's just about the feelings. -He doesn't know what he's saying but whatever it is, Jack is sure it was making him sound like a thoughtless dick. The shame is starting to catch up now that he thinks about it.-

RYAN: -winces and turns away from him, setting the mug down on the counter to use the mindless action as an excuse to process this. it's definitely a little frustrating, but even moreso when she doesn't really understand.- what do you mean... a safe thing?

JACK: -rubs his head in frustration and sighs.- Do you ever see me turning away? In these visions?

JACK: Dreams. Sorry.

RYAN: ... no. i dont.

JACK: -drums his fingers a little bit.- Well, logically speaking. 

JACK: It's not just your own desires that are inducing the decisions behind the dreams. And you're not selfish or crazy for having them.

RYAN: -folds her arms, hugging herself while her stomach does all sorts of acrobatic stunts.- okay so... then what??? 

RYAN: thats what i wanna know. 

RYAN: if youre feeling the same way i am... i just want to figure out what i should do about it. 

RYAN: what... we should do about it.

JACK: I don't... have that answer. I don't See what happens if we go through with.... these hypothetical scenarios. 

JACK: It's not disastrous? You've never been disastrous. -makes a vague gesture. It seems kind of wistful.- You've always been... 

JACK: Just you. A person. 

JACK: Reaching for the good as much as anyone else.

RYAN: -looks at him again, expression softening.- ... well. since neither of us knows where things would go... 

RYAN: maybe a better question is... what do we want to do about it?

JACK: -He has to consider everything in front of him now. It was like living through a dose of ice cold deja vu. Ryan, their relationship, the past, the future... In these few moments, Jack is quiet. The conflict warring on his face, despite being unable to see her. If only he had the reassurance of her expression, then he'd be able to make sense of all the blank spaces.- 

JACK: You're always so close. -begins carefully, his blind eyes worried.- It seems... inevitable. No matter what we do. How hard we try.

RYAN: -swallows dryly as she turns to face him and reaches to touch his arm, gentle and reassuring in the absence of the look on her face.- are you scared?

JACK: -as she touches him, he releases the breath he didnt know he was holding.- Always. 

JACK: You know me.

RYAN: -her hand travels up along his shoulder till she's coiling her arms around him, pulling him into a hug.- yeah. 

RYAN: me too. 

RYAN: maybe we can be... scared together? 

RYAN: im not trying to say that we need to have it all figured out right now... 

RYAN: i just dont wanna... run away from this. i dont wanna do that kinda thing anymore jackie.

JACK: -hardly resists her embrace. In fact, he coils into it. Burying himself against her shoulder and holding her tight.- I know... 

JACK: But habits are hard to put to rest. And it's hard trying to... 

JACK: Tell myself that I'm ready. And that I won't catch myself in the same cycle as before. I've spent so long trying to break from it. But is it enough? 

JACK: -He nuzzles her.- I have no fucking clue.

RYAN: -laughs a little, returning the nuzzles.- well fuck. im right there with you. 

RYAN: im not gonna be reckless about it though and say i dont give a fuck?? cuz i do. like... 

RYAN: i wanna be more aware of my own bullshit. 

RYAN: but i feel like its been easier... cuz ive had help. and ive let people help. i never did before. 

RYAN: -squeezes him a little tighter.- i think we can help each other too. youre already doing that for me...

JACK: -Hugs her so tight, he lifts her a little bit. The stronk hobo that he is.- Yeah... 

JACK: -And with that, he turns and presses a kiss to her cheek.- I just. 

JACK: Love you. Somewhere in all this fuckery of a mess. I do.

RYAN: -her cheeks warm at the contact, butterflies fluttering all around her stomach and chest, inspiring more laughter and the threat of tears.- i love you too. i never fucking stopped. 

RYAN: -returns the kiss, and then once more. leaving behind lipstick stains he unfortunately won't be able to discover later, but they're there all the same.-

JACK: -It's hard being on the receiving end of Ryan kisses. It's hard and nobody understands that when you receive one, you had to receive more. And so Jack leans, bringing a hand to her hair, the back of her head. Angling her chin up so he can press a soft sweet kiss to her lips.-

RYAN: -chills run up and down her spine, an elating warmth settling over her skin when it passes. her hands clasp at his hair, interlocking with messy strands to give her a grip while she returns this kiss too, deepening it with the tilt of her head.-

JACK: -The velvety soft of her kiss was like everything Jack remembered... but in real time. No longer clouded by memory or the passing of time. It was a crystal clear, high definition of Ryan Strider brand kisses. Tinted by the taste of hot chocolate, he knew each time his lips energetically plucked the kisses from hers.- 

JACK: Fuck it all... -says while humming with satisfaction, the more she carded fingers through his hair.-

RYAN: thats what i like to hear. -the shape of her lips form a wide smile against his, but that alone couldn't even express her joy. her hands move to frame his face instead for her to look him over. scruffy as he is, he's still the most handsome man she's ever laid eyes on, and it feels good to admire this without guilt.- 

RYAN: hey jack... its really getting late. shouldnt we think about lying down?

JACK: Late for you maybe. The wicked know no sleep. -he smiles, exhaling with relief and the buzz of warmth in his cheeks. He fiddles with more of her downy soft hair between his fingers.- But I guess I could lie in wait for a while.

RYAN: -snickers at his jokes, nudging into his touch.- alright edward. come on. -captures his hand in hers so she can escort him to his own bedroom. she's visited it enough in her dreams to know every step like the back of her hand. when she passes through the door, she's pulling him in for more kisses, as if she had been waiting another lifetime for them, rather than only a few moments.-

JACK: -follows her kisses into well... His bedroom. He knew the direction and he was conscious of how bold she was for leading the way. The truth was really shedding some light on the situation. Holy moly.- Make yourself at home. -mutters, squeezing at her hands and stealing more precious pecks. The door is closing behind them.-

RYAN: i always do. -guides him to the bed, slowly seating herself and tugging him along with her continued insistence. side by side, she pauses to run her hands over his shoulders, studying his frame as if testing the solidity of him. the reality of him.- 

RYAN: im not dreaming again am i?

JACK: I guess we'll find out tomorrow when you wake up. -for all his griping, he stifles a yawn. Relaxing under the hands that run by his shoulders. One of his own thumb comes to lightly stroke her chin. Coaxing her to relax.-

RYAN: ... yeah. alright. -she's torn between the anxiety to stay awake with him, to savor every moment of this, and getting rest to test out the theory that in the morning they'll actually wake up together. but ultimately, his touch has her lying back against the pillows and sheets, beckoning him to follow.-

JACK: -Here he comes. Rolling into bed and feeling around for a way to get comfortable. Preferably with Ryan gathered up in his arms.-

RYAN: -she helps him out, fitting herself against the shape of him, juxtaposed with her back to his front. and with his arms around her, she can finally start to relax.-

[primadonnatartuffe]

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering invincibleDetective [ID] -- 

PT: hey nerd im bored. 

PT: got some funny jokes to crack in my direction?? im all ears. :ear:

ID: So a hot blonde walks into a bar. Orders a double entendre. 

ID: Obviously the bartender gives it to her.

PT: lmao. 

PT: is that a joke or a short biography about ryan strider?

ID: Can't it be both?

PT: WOW. 

PT: i walked right into that. 

PT: BUT WOW!!!!

ID: Ladies and gentlemen! It came straight out of left field. 

ID: I'm not talking a clean game of limbo for Miss Strider. No, folks. This is a good old fashioned clothesline. 

ID: Neck to pole and back to the mat. Haha.

PT: I CAME OUT HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. 

PT: youre just lucky were in your territory where verbal assaults are to your advantage. 

PT: if i were physically there youd be getting your ass beat.

ID: Then it'd be two of us getting wasted. 

ID: But hey I was already halfway there when you rang so.

PT: oh really??

ID: When I walk in the club... all eyes on me...

PT: :eye::sweat_droplets:

ID: When you're me. Every night is rave night. 

ID: But I really shouldn't be advertising this. You're a recoveree. And I'm a dunderfuck. 

ID: We all knew that, however.

PT: yeah what the fuck my dude???

PT: just kidding. im feeling alright tonight so its not quite as tempting. 

PT: itd be fun to join you though. but i wont cramp your style.

ID: Nothing more stylish than a combination cheap ass wine, smokes, no pants, and listening to audio books in what I presume is the coveted darkness of my room. 

ID: Aka, living it up.

PT: wow a lot has changed about the rave experience since i last partied. 

PT: still sounds pretty dope.

ID: I am the dopest motherfucker as they come. 

ID: I'm pretty sure lady ahead of her time Kim Kardashian said that.

PT: thats probably legit actually. like it sounds dumb enough to be.

ID: She was ahead of her time.

PT: says the man we all know to be a dunderfuck.

ID: I was roasted before I even set foot on the stage.

PT: preroasted like a rotisserie chicken at the grocery store.

ID: Heat me on high for three minutes and do me a solid. 

ID: Eat me.

PT: mmm delicious.

ID: Rrrawr.

PT: lmao okay stop right there. thats officially TOO MUCH.

ID: I honestly hate that it translated to text so well but here we are. 

ID: Living with our mistakes.

PT: im losing my goddamn mind imagining you sitting in the dark growling to yourself.

ID: It's not a phase, Ryan. It's who I am.

PT: a dunderfuck???? yes we know.

ID: You can't use it against me two times in a row, okay. It just doesn't work that way. 

ID: Sheesh.

PT: i can use it as much as i want if its still true.

ID: See. That's a little bit better.

PT: :blush:

PT: hey... what kind of work can you see me doing? im looking into getting a job right now.

ID: A job... 

ID: Why do you need one of those for.

PT: to keep me busy mostly.

ID: That's fair. 

ID: Why not join the old family enterprise. 

ID: Smuppets don't sell themselves after all.

PT: oh my god.

PT: i dont want dirk as a boss though. can you imagine?

ID: I think I can picture it pretty clearly.

PT: right? the last thing i need is my older brother lecturing me on the proper way to handle felt dicks.

ID: Our experiences on the matter are respectively different, Dirk. For fuck's sake.

PT: EXACTLY!!!!

PT: but all things considered it might be fun... if he even has anything for me to do. dude loves to micromanage.

ID: He does. But it doesn't mean your input should fall flat. 

ID: Maybe it would be good for the two of you. I mean... what's better than this? 

ID: Two siblings bonding over plush ass and felt dick. 

ID: I know what I'm doing this weekend.

PT: its hallmark worthy to be honest??? 

PT: i guess ill drop in on him sometime. we havent hung out much since ive been home anyway... 

PT: plus i bet hes having a hard time with the whole empty nest thing now that the babiest boy is outta the house.

ID: Are you sure? According to John, there's finally room for the King Baby.

PT: king baby??? 

PT: i feel like that should be emboldened. 

PT: king baby???

ID: King Baby. 

ID: Hallelujah. I say. Amen.

PT: :pray:

PT: okay well now that i have an agenda for tomorrow i guess ill leave you to your pantless evening of wine and audio books.

ID: Take it easy, Ryan. 

ID: Sleep tight when you do.

PT: i will. :heart:

PT: nighty night. 

 -- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] ceased pestering invincibleDetective [ID] --

[primadonnatartuffe]

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began bothering lagomorphUnion [LU] at 22:22 --

PT: russeeeettttt.

LU: Oh hey =80

LU: Whats up =8?

PT: not much. i just saw you online and thought hey... its russet... i should bug her.

LU: Got it

LU: Well here you are

LU: How are things

PT: hey i cant complain.

PT: except i will complain a little. im kinda listless??? i dunno.

PT: please tell me something interesting is going on in your life so i can live vicariously.

LU: Its been pretty much the same old same old

LU: My estranged sister dropped back in several weeks ago that was something =8P

PT: now thats some juicy gossip right there.

PT: i bet you were thrilled. ;)

LU: Yeah it was eventually pretty nice

LU: She bugs me online sometimes

PT: that must be the highlight of your day!!!

LU: Its been eventful

LU: Im just working on paper work today so actually yeah I guess it has been the most eventful thing

PT: damn... now were both boring.

LU: Im not boring I just have a job =BI

LU: Speaking of if youre so bored you could look into getting one

PT: i cant believe youre pulling that go get a job malarky on me.

PT: like okay MOM.

LU: Im pretty sure I remember you saying you missed my nagging so

LU: Yeah go get a job =8P

LU: Move out of Riley and Dads

PT: honestly im not super jazzed about my living conditions.

PT: but i cant really... not live with them right now???

PT: cuz i cant trust myself on my own lol.

LU: Hmm

LU: Well maybe start with like

LU: I dont know moving in with a friend =8?

LU: Im just saying you should probably try to keep yourself active or make a few life style changes

LU: So you dont become bored or feel stagnent

PT: bluh yeah.

PT: im in an awkward transition period right now.

PT: and getting work isnt all that easy unless someone hands me a job which is feasible given all our familian connections.

PT: but i dont want to do that??

LU: Its still probably better then

LU: Well

LU: Whatever nothing ness you are probably getting around to now and days

LU: No offense

PT: yeah probably.

LU: Thought so

LU: Anyways

LU: Move in with a friend or something =80

PT: whod want to live with me?

LU: Im sure someone would

PT: would you?

LU: Youve got friends somewhere right

PT: nice deflection.

PT: im only asking to prove a point.

PT: i cant move right now anyway.

LU: Its not really a well proven point

LU: And I only respond like that because I mean come on would we really make the best of roomates =8?

PT: no. because im a shit roommate period.

LU: Okay thats kind of dramatic =8I

PT: i guess so.

LU: Mmm

LU: If you really cant find anyone else you can come stay with me if you really want to

PT: ugh how did i get cornered into this? im not moving any place so you dont have to get stuck with me.

LU: You said you were bored I was just giving you options

PT: the usual response to boredom is to like suggest a movie or something benign and not complete lifestyle changes?????????

PT: especially not to someone who just came out of rehab for a drug addiction and cant be trusted to live with someone as far as you can throw her because of her unpredictable bullshit and also said recovery doesnt exactly make her the prime candidate for the ol 9 to 5.

PT: so im sorry if i cant just go out and BETTER myself like a normal person or whatever.

LU: Okay

LU: Well

LU: Sorry

LU: Im not exactly an expert on what to say to drug adicts or newly reformed drug adicts or whatever stage you are at right now

LU: I was just trying to help

PT: its

PT: its fine.

PT: i just

PT: dont feel like i can do anything right.

LU: I dont know how to make that better for you

PT: you dont have to. its nobody elses problem.

LU: Okay

PT: sorry for being difficult.

LU: Its alright

PT: um.

PT: anyway sorry for pestering you.

PT: i guess ill go now.

PT: sorry again.

LU: Dont worry about it

LU: Ill uh

LU: Maybe Ill come visit or something sometime soon

PT: okay. thatd be cool.

LU: Tell Dad and Riley I say hi

PT: i will.

PT: see ya.

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] ceased bothering lagomorphUnion [LU] at 23:53 --

[primadonnatartuffe]

-- invincibleDetective [ID] began bothering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 14:26 --

ID: Hello, hello. Telephone ring.

PT: moshi moshi ryan desu.

ID: Well howdy there, lil lady. I don't suppose you're Ryan's answering AI.

PT: lmao sure. also im japanese for some reason.

ID: Pretty witty for an answering machine.

PT: pretty and witty... much like ryan herself amirite?

ID: The better to take her messages with.

ID: This is. A beautiful stranger.

PT: oh my... im highlighting this information. ryans weak for beautiful strangers.

PT: what kind of message can i relay for you beautiful stranger?

ID: Just ask if she's avaliable for the coffee we promised to meet up for.

ID: Donuts are included. With and without the holes.

PT: well i just so happen to have access to her schedule and it looks like she is good to go on that front.

PT: also highlighting the bit about holes. an important distinction.

PT: youll see her at the coffee can. ;)

ID: Important in the way I wouldn't dare mention when discussing donuts.

ID: Let her know I'm here already.

PT: shell be there momentarily~!

RYAN: *ryan pockets her comm as she enters the coffee can, peeking around until she spots jack. it's easy enough, he sticks out like a sore thumb. she ambles up behind him and plarps him right on the head, mussing with his hair.* here i am.

JACK: *Do not plarp. But also do. Jack accepts the muss of his hair, even if it sends his shades askew. All the more reason to pluck them off and tuck them into his shirt. Angles himself until he's facing her, grey eyes vacant but searching still.* Oh good.

JACK: Sometimes strangers get familiar. It happens.

RYAN: *stupid pretty grey eyes. at least she can stare and he won't know. she slips into a seat next to him.* i know how it is.

RYAN: who wouldnt wanna get familiar with all this? *gestures at self.*

RYAN: by the way im gesturing at my killer bod.

JACK: Might need to demonstrate a little better. Only so much left to the imagination. *makes himself snort and plucks a donut hole up from the cup. Offers it out to her and chews.* 'Nut hole?

RYAN: *grins and takes it* im always a sucker for a good nut.

RYAN: the hole kind or otherwise.

JACK: Take your pick. They're frosting filled. *Having too much straight-faced fun here. He should probably be stopped.*

RYAN: *SNRK* id have them no other way??? *nibbles a donut hole.*

RYAN: thinly veiled sexual innuendo aside... whats up?

JACK: Nothing much. Having some coffee. Having a donut. *munch munch* Spoke with Finn yesterday.

JACK: He was... a little bent out of shape.

RYAN: *frowns, pausing before she speaks again.* is he alright?

JACK: I think so. He wasn't at first. But he's alright. *sips him coffee.* Did you want to order something?

RYAN: huh? oh right. ill get something in a second.

RYAN: what was bugging him?

JACK: Something about... not feeling like he was fit to look after Sofia. *blinks and frowns, looking much like his more somber self.* He was ready to take her to the adoption agency.

RYAN: whaaaat? *frowns too* man come on finn.

RYAN: hes great with her.

RYAN: and its pretty obvious she makes him really happy too.

JACK: Whatever the case... it was also pretty obvious he needed to sit down and reevaluate what he was doing.

JACK: Good thing he did. *mutters* He would have had a lot of regrets, otherwise.

RYAN: yeah... thats a relief. *shakes her head.*

RYAN: poor finn... always going through something.

JACK: But he always makes it through. *offers her a smile* Have you talked with him lately?

RYAN: oh yeah. i was at his place the other day to meet sofia. *kinda zones out thinking about it.*

JACK: What did you think of little miss Helen of Troy? *sips again*

RYAN: *laughs at the nickname.* i fucking adore her.

JACK: Of course you do. It's all a part of the ploy.

RYAN: hey... i know all about that.

RYAN: im plotting to take her under my wing. who better to teach her how to weaponize her good looks than her cool aunt ryan?

JACK: Well. I would nominate cool Uncle Jack but I think I'll settle with teaching her poker.

RYAN: *snickers* thats an important skill too.

JACK: I daresay the two skills are interchangable.

RYAN: we oughta team up then. ;)

JACK: *Oblivious to the actual winks but hears it in her tone of voice.* Good thing I've got the best of both worlds. At least, I like to think I do.

JACK: Confidence is the true power in this world.

RYAN: agreed.

RYAN: for what its worth i still think youre pretty damn handsome.

RYAN: just a little disheveled. *snrk*

RYAN: but hey. same. not that you can tell.

JACK: The hair seems to be working better for you though. *reaches a hand out to feel* May I?

RYAN: go for it. *leans towards him, definitely not blushing.*

JACK: *gently paps his hand in the air around her hair. Nodding as he gets a visual for the style.* Looking good.

JACK: It must be the face frame.

RYAN: oh thanks. *grinning to herself.* i kinda miss my long hair though.

JACK: How long have you had it short for? *smiling too and withdraws his hand. Feeling for his coffee again.* Any special reason?

RYAN: ah hmm... *her tone changes a little, like it's not the most comfortable subject for some reason.* ive been keepin it short for a little less than a year?

RYAN: *shrugs* no particular reason except... maintaining all that hair was like WAY too much work for me at the time.

RYAN: actually i got kinda frustrated and just.

RYAN: chopped it off. there it go.

JACK: Kind of the inverted reasoning behind my own hairstyle choice. *Listens to the change in her tone.* At some point, I stopped caring.

RYAN: hey it works for you too. even if i wanna take a comb to it. *manages to smile again.*

JACK: You aren't the first one. I hear it drives my dad batshit. *returns her smile in kind* It's the small victories.

RYAN: *laughs about that.* aww i miss your dad. i should drop in on the fam sometime...

RYAN: reminds me tho. i talked to rory the other day. *nibbles another donut hole.*

JACK: He's back in town already? I heard he was on Earth... lucky rascal.

JACK: What did he say?

RYAN: heeee...

RYAN: was informing me that someone was looking for me.

RYAN: ...

RYAN: my ex girlfriend.

RYAN: kinda came as some shock to me cuz i thought she was through with my ass lol.

JACK: *raises his eyebrows* That does sound shocking.

JACK: And for Rory of all people to come across her. The chances?

RYAN: its fucking weird. haha.

RYAN: i guess she just wants to make sure i havent fallen off the wagon or whatever. which is cool. not really her problem but yeah. its cool.

JACK: Have you spoken with her?

RYAN: mmm... nooo...

JACK: *Ryan...* Are you going to?

RYAN: *DEEPEST SIGH OF ALL* yeah... i gotta.

RYAN: its just awkward!! we didnt leave each other on the best note.

RYAN: and im kind of exhausted from all this reconciling shit.

RYAN: ive barely even scratched the surface though. like ive still got this extensive list of people i need to see and shit i need to talk about. bluh.

JACK: Not that I'm one to push another on making those kinds of decisions. *hums* I just hope it works out for you... once you get around to it.

JACK: But I know it's difficult.

RYAN: i mean... to be fair its worked out pretty well for me so far even if its emotionally taxing.

RYAN: its just... scary too.

RYAN: taking that first step.

JACK: You deserve to. *says with a nod. Taps the lid of his coffee.* And if anything... here's to hoping your ex understands.

RYAN: yeah... *glances at him.* heres hoping.

JACK: *tilts his head, wondering.* Do you want to talk about her?

RYAN: *seems a little surprised by the question.* not really.

RYAN: ... okay kind of.

JACK: Maybe you can drop her a message. Without necessarily speaking, face to face.

RYAN: that could work.

RYAN: it might piss her off though if she came all the way to skaia.

RYAN: not that its super inconvenient but still.

RYAN: i dunno.

RYAN: shes really grouchy lol.

JACK: What I mean to say is... it can be a process. Building up to a face-to-face encounter.

RYAN: yeah... guess that could work. *takes a deep breath, trying to rationalize.*

JACK: *drums his fingers against the table* Grouchy, huh.

RYAN: haha yeah. real attitude problem.

RYAN: but she was always looking after my ass even if she had to make remarks all the time.

RYAN: i think ive got a thing for sass.

JACK: *finds himself smiling again* And her name? Don't think you mentioned it.

RYAN: *stop that smiling... illegal.* oh yeah.

RYAN: its nona.

JACK: I can't believe it... *appears astonished* Your celebrity couple name is Rynona.

RYAN: *snorts* catchy huh?

RYAN: but like i said... she got fed up with my bullshit.

JACK: Maybe she doesn't see it that way.

RYAN: haha maybe? i dunno how else she would though.

RYAN: i was making her miserable. *stares down at the table*

JACK: *Hesitates. Wondering how qualified he actually was to give her talk to her on this particular topic. It had to go either one of two ways. Hyper-qualified, or severely underqualified. Fuck.* What you were going through... wasn't you. The way your mind was.

JACK: All of that's happened already. It's done. What you're left with now is a perspective... but not facts. Or the whole truth.

JACK: Just remember... Nona has the other half of the experience.

RYAN: *looks up at him, brows knit as she listens. there's a lot of emotion bubbling up remembering her experiences, remembering all the damage she did, and there's something bittersweet hearing this kind of reassurance from jack. she hopes he believes those things about himself, too. he seems pretty well put together from her perspective, which makes it a little easier to put her restless thoughts to bed when they're usually so adamant to convince her that her own illnesses were all that she was.*

RYAN: *she reaches over to take his hand, giving it a squeeze. she can't help the sniffles coming on, but it's a blessing he can't see her watery blood shot eyes. very attractive.* when did you get so smart? geez.

RYAN: *exhales* thanks jackie.

JACK: *Some melancholy feeling spreads in his chest with the nickname. He hadn't heard it in a while and coupled with the gentle squeeze of her hand, the feeling twists in his heart like a corkscrew. Awful but thankfully, present.* I just...

JACK: Had to stop living like I was. Letting myself think how I was.

JACK: I'm not smarter. Just more aware of the poison.

RYAN: *smooths her thumb over his hand. she doesn't want to let go.* im really proud of you.

JACK: *the sad twists persist* That's my line.

RYAN: heheh... i just straight up plagiarized you.

RYAN: you deserve to hear it too.

JACK: *He exhales, doing away with the impulse to disagree.* ...Thank you.

JACK: But it's not my ex we were gabbing about.

RYAN: well?? i mean?? *TECHNICALLY... she snickers a little, but then reality hits her again when it occurs to her this might be a good time to segue into other things she needs to talk to people about... she should at least bring it up. put it on the table where they all can see it.*

RYAN: ... um.

RYAN: hey... on the note of... hashing things out with folks...

RYAN: ... now probably isnt the time and here probably isnt the place but... do you think we could??

RYAN: well.

RYAN: you know...

RYAN: urgh. *DEEP BREATH.* can we talk about what happened between us?

RYAN: sometime?

JACK: *He's blind, Ryan. Every place looks the same to Jack. But still he blinks, acutely aware of their hands still touching. He would glance down at them if he could.* Talk about it... *echoes, feeling the uncertainty creeping on him.*

JACK: We can talk. Any time.

RYAN: *WELL SHE'S NOT BLIND. nor is she blind to the unease. it's difficult for her too.* any time??? okay... cool.

RYAN: thats good to know.

JACK: *Unconsciously, he feels his hand withdrawing again.* Sorry. I was just...

JACK: Never completely sure what I would say.

RYAN: yeah i mean... me neither. *feels him pulling away and awkwardly retracts her hand as well.*

RYAN: i just thought it might be... helpful? maybe.

RYAN: it might be helpful for me.

RYAN: but i dont know about you.

RYAN: ... i know were okay but theres still a lot weighing on my mind.

RYAN: there are a lot of...

RYAN: ????

RYAN: feelings?

RYAN: in my feeling place.

RYAN: ... for fucks sake.

JACK: *Despite his hesitation, he does nod. Chuckling weakly.* Feelings in the feeling place. An accurate way to describe it.

JACK: In all honesty, I'm not much better than you about it.

RYAN: *laughs too, nervously.* cool. in that case maybe we can like... flounder through the conversation together.

JACK: Ideally, that's how I would execute the thing.

RYAN: alright so weve got a game plan.

JACK: More or less. *sighs, trying not to let some stray thoughts snag him into a loop of things.* But...

JACK: You know I don't hold anything against you. Right? *frowns into some distance* Everything that happened... came out of the circumstance.

JACK: The timing was bad... everything... but the feelings were bad.

RYAN: i-- *swallows, her expression softening.* yeah i know.

RYAN: like... i /know/ but i guess i still... worry about it.

JACK: Why? *eyes flicker to her as if he can really see her for a second. But the look dissolves away soon enough.*

RYAN: *plays with the donut hole cup, shrugging. she didn't notice him looking at her.* sometimes i worry that im... too much for people to handle.

RYAN: when you were already going through so much.

RYAN: like realistically i know it wasnt my fault? we both had our shit.

RYAN: but i still wish i couldve helped more. i didnt wanna drag you down i wanted-- to work through it with you. *rubs at her eyes with her palm.* i dont feel that way very often?? even now.

RYAN: its... probably dumb to dwell on it. im trying not to.

JACK: *closes his eyes, letting himself card through the blink of memories. Anything he could remember in the dull, dreary haze he lived in before.* It's not dumb to dwell on it. I broke up with us... feeling as if I was fulfilling the failure I had set us out for.

JACK: It was wrong to enter the relationship like that. But I wanted so fucking desperately to feel like I could have something for myself. But I was wrong.

JACK: I never felt like I deserved you. So us... the relationship... was lost long before I could even let myself have it.

JACK: That was my mistake.

JACK: Not yours.

RYAN: *it's a lot to process, and she's quiet while she does so. it hurts to know she really had been shut out from the beginning, but it makes sense, and she knows as much as she wanted to open up to him too, she didn't know how.*

RYAN: jack...

RYAN: i still-- *swallows down her own words. rephrases.*

RYAN: i miss you.

JACK: *There's a tightness in his throat, but Jack doesn't let it get in the way of what he's trying to say. If anything, he smiles. Weary for the world.* I miss... being able to make you laugh just by being around.

JACK: If I'm nothing else. I'd like to be that again.

RYAN: *catches a couple tears that manage to fall, a watery laugh tumbling out of her.* of course you can baby. you always were.

RYAN: nothing could change the fact that you just...

RYAN: make me really happy.

JACK: Then I'm glad. *Effortlessly it seems, he finds her hand again.* I don't need anything else.

RYAN: *tangles her hand up in his, holding them up to her cheek for something to rest against. she shuts her eyes, making no attempt to stop her tears now.* me too.

JACK: *It's easier to focus on the stream of her tears than the well threatening to press from his own. But he lets his hand linger.* I can't say for sure. But you're probably smudging your make-up.

RYAN: *giggles softly, huffing a relieved sigh.* i dont care.

JACK: Fine by me.

JACK: Can't exactly tell the difference.

RYAN: *nuzzles against his hand.* if anything it adds to the recovering burn out aesthetic i got going on right now. you know im always a slut for Aesthetic.

JACK: Hey. Same here. *uses the free hand to skirt the shades onto himself.*

RYAN: hahah fuck. we look like we came out of a quentin tarantino movie or some shit.

JACK: Now that's what I call aesthetic. *sits there a moment contemplating.* Hm.

JACK: I wonder.

JACK: Did you go on many dates besides Nona?

RYAN: dates? nah... not really.

RYAN: fucked around plenty before her but uh.

RYAN: even with her we just kinda fell into it.

JACK: Bad to the bone. *but he sounds admiring.* Can't say I had the same luck.

JACK: Must have been the summer of crocs.

RYAN: oh jesus.

RYAN: please tell me that phase has passed.

JACK: It's hard to say. I don't know what my shoes look like nowadays.

RYAN: then you wont notice when i banish them to the shadow realm.

JACK: Unfortunately not.

RYAN: a win win for everybody. *grins*

RYAN: poor jackie tho... hes overdue for a hot date.

JACK: I'm just one guy. Living in a dark sexually frustrated world.

JACK: Surprised I made it this far.

RYAN: you cant even see the sexy babes all around you?? i cant being to imagine how difficult that must be.

RYAN: especially when the sexiest babe of them all is right in front of you.

JACK: With a voice that can raise the dead. *nods knowingly* Among other things.

JACK: This is the part where you sensually whisper, "Yard sard."

RYAN: fuck.

RYAN: do i make your yard sard????

JACK: My yard is apeshit bananas sard.

JACK: Here let me just... *takes out his comm...*

RYAN: *peeps over his shoulder curiously.* ... oh my god.

RYAN: so youre putting out a personal ad now huh?

JACK: Just as I suspected. *places the comm right at her.* Nothing.

RYAN: *TYPING WITH HER OTHER HAND* wow what a bummer.

RYAN: *snrks againt jack's shoulder at him teasing finn. a national pass time.*

JACK: *Honestly.* Finn is a national treasure.

RYAN: love that boy.

JACK: Gotta.

RYAN: *softly singing milkshake now.*

JACK: *snickering at all his own stupid jokes. An excellent use of his time.*

RYAN: *aww. he's so cute when he's smiling and having a good time. it's so nice to see. don't mind her if she just keeps admiring him while leaned against him.*

JACK: There's that. *stows the comm away in his shirt pocket.* Remind me to try again later.

RYAN: you got it.

RYAN: ill just have to keep you company until you can a response.

RYAN: **get?? wtf are my typos today

JACK: The ultimate wingman.

RYAN: im actually a really shitty wingman as i tend to draw all the attention to myself so... sorry in advance.

JACK: Wow. *sounds bemused*

JACK: I can safely say I did not see that coming.

RYAN: do you feel betrayed?

JACK: Envious. But I'm sure it's a sight to behold.

RYAN: *snorts.* if its any consolation im not really interested in bringing all the boys and girls to my yard right now.

RYAN: (test)

JACK: (( test ))

RYAN: (YE)

JACK: Well...

JACK: As they say.

JACK: More milkshake for you.

RYAN: *smirks at him* do they say that?

JACK: They're pretty wise for their age, I hear.

RYAN: well its a good saying. this milkshake is too tasty to share with just anybody tbh.

JACK: Write this on the reviews. That Jack Crocker remembered it fondly.

RYAN: oh yeah im sure you did. living in that dark sexually frustrated world of yours.

RYAN: very fondly.

JACK: In my defense. I have nothing else to use for comparison.

RYAN: do you need anything else? ;)

JACK: An ice pack. *he's so smug*

RYAN: you need a full blown cold shower.

RYAN: you know you really are repressed. we opened up this whole evening with nut holes.

JACK: You could say...

JACK: ...

JACK: We've come full circle.

RYAN: ...

RYAN: god.

RYAN: dammit.

JACK: *lowkey knifecat.jpeg*

RYAN: *snickers...* hey did you have any other plans for today?

JACK: Nothing that can't be rearranged or postponed.

JACK: Why do you ask?

RYAN: i was wondering if i could walk you back to your place... and just hang out there for a while?

JACK: That sounds like a plan. *starts to rise out of his chair* I think Sage recently bought a remastered copy of One Hundred and One Dalmations.

JACK: Let's break that in for her.

RYAN: ooh i like the sound of that. *stands with him, looping their arms.*

JACK: *lets her take the lead* Then we can go for some Dominos. The pizza and the tabletop game.

RYAN: youre just full of great ideas. *smiles, absolutely content as she leads him out of the coffee shop and back to his place.*

[primadonnatartuffe]

RYAN: *after hanging out with orchid, ryan's been feeling a little lighter, and leaving skaia to visit people has become that much easier. so with that feeling of freedom, she decides to stop by odimist again. she drapes on colt for a little while before she devotes her time to finn and his new baby. she's just as gorgeous as in the photos, and during the visit, she's found she's really quite fond of hanging out with tiny babies... they're in the living room at colt and little's place, and ryan has lounging with this bundle in her arms for a while now.*

RYAN: hmm sofia sofia... are there any songs about a girl named sofia? there should be.

FINN: -finn's sitting next to the two of them and it's so cute watching sofia get to know ryan. sofia's looking pretty comfortable and staring up at ryan- no but you can replace any song with shakira with sofia

RYAN: ooooh yeah there you go.

RYAN: lets sing beautiful liar.

RYAN: i can be beyonce and sofia can be shakira.

RYAN: ryonce ryonce sofia sofia.

RYAN: lets not kill the karma. lets not start a fight. its not worth the drama for a beautiful liiiaar.

FINN: -sofia gurgles-

RYAN: yeah girl there you go.

RYAN: *snickers*

FINN: already she's more musically inclined than me

RYAN: stick with me kid and well keep you on the right track. *smiles wide at baby*

FINN: -sofia smiles back for a good two seconds and wiggles her arms-

RYAN: uggh shes so cute.

FINN: -he's laughing a little and smiling because he loves this baby so much- i know

FINN: you'd think i'd be used to it by now

RYAN: pretty sure youre never gonna get used to it though. thats just how these things work.

RYAN: my parents still cant get over how cute i am. ;)

RYAN: well nobody can really.

FINN: -too true- it's a hard life

RYAN: for you. us adorable people got it so good. isnt that right sofia?

FINN: -sofia yawns-

FINN: i'm going to be dead in a week at this rate

FINN: just because of the cute from sofia and you combined

RYAN: cool. then i can steal her. >:)

FINN: you're just going to swoop right in and take her

RYAN: yep. and raise her teaching her to better weaponize her deadly cuteness.

RYAN: well be unstoppable.

FINN: sorry sofia i tried to give you a better life

RYAN: time to live a life of villainy with auntie ryan.

FINN: this escalated quickly

RYAN: *SNRK* i think thats the inevitable path when dealing with baby stealing.

FINN: did i turn out to be a villain

FINN: i guess that depends on your definition of -air quotes- stolen

RYAN: i think the definition of stolen is pretty clear cut... but maybe theres a side of finn i dont know... an evil side.

FINN: maybe there is

RYAN: oh my... ;o

FINN: what is that face

RYAN: its a face thats onto your wild ways.

FINN: someone's a little late

RYAN: pfff. okay lets be real were all onto your wild ways.

FINN: i was going to say

FINN: out of all people you really can't be that surprised

RYAN: i really cant be... not when i was there instigating it half the time. *snickers some more. they have fun.*

FINN: -they had a lot of fun. he's still laughing, shaking his head- see exactly

RYAN: *looks down at the baby for a moment after that. the pause is enough for her mind to wander. it's hard to fill in the space with positive thoughts these days.*

RYAN: hey uh this is out of the blue but...

RYAN: the other day? at the kareoke bar? ive been worried that i like.

RYAN: made things weird?? somehow.

FINN: -sofia's getting sleepy. she might be starting to doze off. finn is caught off guard by the question, not exactly expecting it- oh -he says it like a question-

FINN: why what do you mean

RYAN: i dunno.

RYAN: like... i know i was super transparent with the song choices.

RYAN: the mood just seemed to change after i sang that second time.

RYAN: and then you took off.

RYAN: like maybe you thought you were third wheeling or something.

RYAN: uhh... okay so i dont usually make a habit of addressing things like this but ive been encouraged to talk about the stuff thats nagging at my mind.

RYAN: so it doesnt start festering and i have to turn to booze or something to cope haha.

RYAN: ... yeah.

FINN: oh -he definitely doesn't want to make her feel like she has to cope with anything...not because of him, at least.- no no i get it uh

FINN: i don't know i guess i just

FINN: you know when you feel like you're in the middle of something really intimate that's not explicitly so but it still is

FINN: but you feel like you're in the way of it a little

FINN: that was where i was at i guess but it's not a big deal you guys need your time too

RYAN: *frowns* i dunno... i guess.

RYAN: its not like theres a quote unquote you guys.

FINN: -he looks away and shrugs a little- hasn't there always been though

RYAN: ... not anymore.

FINN: i mean i know not technically but -he sighs- it's still there

RYAN: *brows knit* yeah maybe for me.

FINN: i mean jack is completely different than he was three years ago and it's not like we talked during the time you were gone

FINN: so i guess i can't read him anymore but i mean it really seems like there's still something

FINN: but anyway i just

FINN: had a feeling i shouldn't be there

FINN: and it's good you two are hanging out

FINN: and having moments

FINN: and stuff

FINN: after everything

RYAN: *he says all that, but why does it feel like there's something left unsaid. is she being paranoid?* do you really feel that way?

FINN: which part

FINN: i mean it doesn't matter because i do really feel all of it

RYAN: ... i guess that part where you think its good were hanging out and having moments like you said.

FINN: oh

FINN: yeah

FINN: it's a good thing

RYAN: ugggh.

RYAN: why do i feel like its not?? am i being paranoid?

RYAN: maybe im projecting because im afraid to make any moves and i need an excuse not to.

RYAN: i dont know i suck at reading my feelings and intuitions or whatever.

FINN: -he looks ahead- it's hard to know i guess

FINN: after all that time

FINN: you can only really be certain of how you feel

RYAN: *sighs a little. she does know how she feels, at least when it comes to jack.*

RYAN: okay but... i dont wanna make hanging out with us awkward.

FINN: sometimes i just have to discern whether or not i should be there

FINN: it's a life thing

RYAN: ... i guess so.

RYAN: sorry.

RYAN: im being weird.

FINN: no you're not

FINN: i was probably acting pretty weird

FINN: that raises a lot of questions

RYAN: maybe. i probably shouldnt pry. *it raises questions, but none of the questions she should probably be asking... but it doesn't really occur to her.*

RYAN: *face scrunches a little... she looks upset.* i just dont know what im doing anymore. im a mess and i know im supposed to just let myself be a mess and let people help me but i dont want to.

RYAN: i dont even want to talk about this. but i should?? ugh. im not making sense.

FINN: -his expression softens immediately- no no i

FINN: i get that actually

FINN: -he can relate in different ways...but he can still relate to the general concept-

FINN: it's hard

RYAN: *sniffs and leans against him a little, as much as she can without disturbing the baby.* but im lonely too... i dont wanna bring anybody down or make anybody feel bad but this always seems to happen now and i cant shut it off.

FINN: -lets it happen and leans his head against hers just slightly- well you know you always have me

FINN: whether or not you can shut it off

RYAN: *peeks up at him with big tired glossy eyes* ... thanks finn.

FINN: -dONT LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT- yeah

FINN: of course

FINN: you're pretty much stuck with me whether you like it or not

RYAN: heheh... good to know.

FINN: it thought it would be at least a little comforting -he's quiet suddenly-

RYAN: it helps... trust me. *peers at him again when a silence follows.*

RYAN: whats on your mind?

FINN: -avoids meeting her gaze and looks down at a sleeping sofia instead. he sighs- i should uh

FINN: i mean

FINN: i don't want things to be weird

RYAN: *blinks at him, confused* weird??

FINN: yeah weird uh

FINN: i don't know how to say it

FINN: actually uh

FINN: -holds his hands out for sofia-

RYAN: ... okay. *hands her back to him, getting a weird feeling in her gut.*

FINN: -sofia makes a few fussy noises before going back to sleep like nothing had happened-

FINN: i just don't want you to feel stuck so

FINN: if you need to leave you can

RYAN: *leans away again, not really sure what to make of that.* im not really in a rush unless you need me to go...

FINN: no i just mean you might want to uh

FINN: you might want to

FINN: the thing is i should tell you

FINN: even though it will do nothing

FINN: but make things weird

FINN: and somehow it's the right thing to do supposedly

FINN: i don't know why that is

FINN: it doesn't seem like it's going to help at all

RYAN: help... what?? what is it? *she's TRYING not to act weirded out even though she kind of is. but it's mostly just anxiety.*

FINN: i

FINN: have feelings for you

FINN: but it's dumb and it doesn't matter and it's irrelevant

RYAN: you... *processing... processing... but she fails to.*

RYAN: what?

FINN: -his cheeks grow red and he looks a little embarrassed-

FINN: i know it's

FINN: i know it's been obvious probably

FINN: it started years ago before you left and uh

FINN: surprise

FINN: still here

RYAN: uh... *runs a hand through her hair, reeling a little* no?? i mean no it was never obvious to me.

RYAN: jesus was i always so into my own shit i didnt even notice?

RYAN: thats typical. way to go ryan.

FINN: oh

FINN: no it's not your fault you didn't need to pick up on it i didn't want you to anyway

FINN: so points for me

FINN: i guess

RYAN: i... okay...

RYAN: well uh... im glad you brought that up. to get it off your chest? or...

RYAN: shit. im not sure what to say.

RYAN: like its cliched to be all i really like you too BUT...

RYAN: thats cliched and shitty?? you deserve better than that.

RYAN: hahaha you deserve better than me? come on dude lets be real.

FINN: -he just feels bad about it- no i know you don't feel

FINN: like i know you don't feel the same way and that's fine that's okay

FINN: like i didn't expect that or anything i know it's like

FINN: uh

FINN: i don't want to talk about what i deserve because i don't think i really

FINN: i don't want to measure myself that way because i'm not going to pass the test

FINN: you don't have to like

FINN: try to reason with me i know it's useless

FINN: it's always been you and jack from the beginning

FINN: there was never any other real relationship for either of you when you're together

FINN: you asked what's on my mind that's what's on my mind that's why i've been acting weird you don't need to fix it or feel responsible for anything i just

FINN: maybe if you know i can get over it who knows

FINN: or i wreck our friendship i don't know

FINN: i'm pretty good at that haha

RYAN: no finn thats not... thats not gonna happen. im just...

RYAN: *eyes start to water* it sucks that things are the way they are. that i cant... reciprocate i guess.

RYAN: i dont know why im always... chasing after people that im not good for haha. but hey on the bright side thats the case no matter what isnt it?? im not good for anybody.

RYAN: jacks better off without me. so was nona. so are you.

RYAN: and you should know that because yeah itd be in your best interest to move on from that.

RYAN: i know you werent trying to start anything but i-- just... why...

RYAN: im so fucked up.

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] is now an idle chum! --

FINN: -he doesn't know who the fuck nona is but he decides right now isn't the time to ask. hearing her say these things about herself...it stings.- no no no

FINN: i'm not

FINN: i'm not

FINN: fuck

FINN: it doesn't matter if you reciprocate or not and it's

FINN: you're making me sound like some kind of ideal candidate but that's not the case either

FINN: you don't see how much you're worth because you think you've fucked up beyond redemption or something

FINN: but that isn't true

FINN: we all have our shit

FINN: yours looks different than mine

FINN: jack's looks different than both yours and mine

FINN: but somehow you're still here and jack's still here even if we were all gone for a while

FINN: it's not about being good enough that is -lets out an unamused laugh- that's bullshit because who even meets that standard in the first place

FINN: what i do know is that without you around it felt like there was something irreplaceable missing

FINN: the whole time

FINN: sure maybe i became better at putting that feeling behind work but

FINN: i never stopped feeling it

FINN: because damn it ryan you are and you've always been one of a kind and i'm not just saying that

FINN: people that are like you aren't good enough

FINN: i want the real thing hanging around

FINN: crazy theatrical ryan

FINN: loud always pretty no matter what ryan

FINN: you're just -he looks down at sofia- you're worth more than you could ever realize

FINN: a few turns down some paths you don't like don't take that away from you

FINN: i need you to stick around and stay because if your shit makes it so you don't deserve to have people in your life then i am

FINN: i am right there with you

FINN: i'm not buying it

FINN: -he finally stops and...might be tearing up a little-

RYAN: *well, she's definitely started crying listening to all that, but the tears flow quietly. when he's through, she sniffs, trying to process everything with some difficulty... but the important parts stick and she leans forward to gingerly wrap her arms around his neck (careful not to squish sofia) and hold him gently.*

RYAN: youre really important to me... i hope you know.

FINN: -he closes his eyes a little and the tears just roll down his cheeks as she holds him- yeah

FINN: you are to me too

RYAN: ... jack told me that the worst was over.

RYAN: ive been trying really hard to believe that.

RYAN: it hurts knowing how much i was missed but its a relief too? i dont wanna run from people anymore...

FINN: you don't have to

FINN: maybe it's time to start running to people

RYAN: *sniffs* yeah... im gonna... crash into everyone at high speeds.

RYAN: hope you can handle a whole lot of ryan.

FINN: i'm pretty sure i've been training all my life so i'm good

RYAN: fuckin... right on. hehehe... *giggles softly, but then starts to pull away again.*

RYAN: i should probably get going home now though.

FINN: -smiles and nods at her, taking a deep breath- yeah

FINN: i have to put this one to bed anyway

RYAN: yeah... goodnight baby girl. *exhales once more, letting all the bad feelings pass... it's gonna be okay.*

RYAN: ill see you soon finn. *gets up off the couch and makes her leave.*

FINN: -it is. it's really going to be okay- bye ryan

[primadonnatartuffe]

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began bothering invincibleDetective [ID] at 20:38 --

PT: oh damn fancy seeing you here.

PT: all lit up on my friends list.

PT: crazy.

ID: I am a beacon of prosperity.

ID: And I'm probably not even facing the right way.

ID: Hey, good looking. Fancy seeing me.

PT: we dont gotta face the right way to make meaningful conversation. its all good.

PT: check it ill even obscure my vision to prove how well we can communicate here.

PT: okay blind typing now...

PT: wha ts ip sex y.

PT: oh shit hey that wasnt bad.

ID: She's trying to communicate.

ID: I'm listening.

PT: wha

PT: ts

ID: Literally. Because this is text to speech and it's an incredible modern invention.

PT: what the fuck?

PT: ive never even heard of that.

PT: i hope the voice is set to smouldering temptress.

ID: It's Windows text to speech. Mr. Micheal.

ID: So yes.

ID: Smouldering temptress.

PT: thank god... mr mikes the only one i can trust to accurately replicate my husky vocals.

ID: What can I say? We have similar taste.

PT: ;)

PT: so what are you up to?

ID: Having a smoke. Relaxing with Audrey.

PT: audrey?

ID: A sweet dame who takes none of my nonsense.

ID: She's at my feet right now.

ID: ...

ID: She's a dog.

PT: oh fuck!! howd i miss a dog?

ID: Because last time, Sage was guiding me around. And she's pretty puppy peppy as it is.

PT: true.

PT: i saw sage today.

ID: How was it?

PT: fun. i was busking and she hung out with me.

PT: we caught up a lil bit. and talked about you in high heels.

ID: An important point of discussion. I understand.

PT: i knew you would.

PT: hey random question but do you know any good coffee places down town?

ID: Hmm. A good question.

ID: The Coffee Can is a good coffee chain. Carapacian owned.

PT: okay cool. i need someplace to go.

ID: Walks are notoriously good for the soul.

ID: Maybe I'll join you some time.

PT: yeah.

PT: id like that.

PT: should be plenty of time for it. ive been spending most of my days just milling through the streets.

PT: i dont got much moneyyyy. so im limited as far as entertainment goes.

ID: So you make your own.

ID: Remember who you are talking to.

PT: yeah of course.

PT: but i probably shouldnt let my imagination run too wild.

ID: Viva la revolucion.

PT: lol. i mean...

PT: right now my imagination is telling me this coffee would be better with booze in it.

ID: That's a tough one.

ID: You should talk about it.

ID: The impulse.

PT: im not really sure what to say about it?? aside from it being present most of the time.

ID: What about right now?

PT: right now... it is pretty overwhelming and thats why ive forced myself to go to a coffee shop lol.

PT: im not supposed to drink.

ID: Understandable.

ID: Maybe you can take your mind off whatever is overwhelming you.

ID: I know it's hard.

PT: i can sure heckin try haha.

ID: You still sing.

ID: Maybe you can try that.

ID: Every day is a musical if you're Ryan Strider. Which you are.

PT: shit youre right.

ID: The world is your oyster. And you have the tools.

PT: yeah...

PT: you mind if i sing to you?

ID: If you don't mind me listening.

PT: haha alright.

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] is calling! --

PT: [beep beep. ryan is making a voice call, the much forgotten about feature of messenger programs. there's a pause before her voice can be heard on the other end.]

PT: i had given up. i didnt know who to trust. so i designed a shell. kept me from heaven and hell. and i had hit a low. was all i let myself know. yeah i had locked my heart. i was imprisoned by dark.

PT: you found me dressed in black. hiding way up at the back. life had broken my heart into pieces. you took my hand in yours. you started breaking down my walls. and you covered my heart in kisses.

PT: i thought life passed me by. missed my tears ignored my cries. life had broken my heart my spirit. and then you crossed my path. you quelled my fears... you made me laugh. then you covered my heart in kisses.

ID: *He has no idea whether Ryan expects him to respond afterwards but he does anyway. Smile in his tone of voice.* A voice that can raise the dead, Strider. Always.

PT: heh... thanks.

PT: im gettin looks for belting it out randomly in a coffee joint but worth it.

PT: i feel a little better.

ID: I'm sure there is a kareoke place you can take it to instead.

PT: probably... but thats too obvious.

PT: karaokes more fun with friends anyway.

ID: That can be arranged.

PT: then lets arrange it some time.

ID: I could possibly arrange it right now.

ID: Are you terribly busy?

PT: bruh im singing alone in a coffee shop to combat my self destructive urges.

PT: i think i might be free.

ID: Alright. I'll send you the coordinates and meet you there.

ID: Chao.

PT: here comes me.

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] ceased bothering invincibleDetective [ID] at 22:59 --

[primadonnatartuffe]

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began bothering impenetrableVitality [IV] at 17:29 --

PT: hey finn.

IV: ryan

IV: hey

IV: what's up

PT: well i just so you online and thought hey i should totally hit up finn?? we didnt really get a chance to catch up much at the party since you kinda ran off.

PT: and then i kinda ran off...

PT: so yeah.

PT: plus i just read your status update?

PT: yo.

IV: oh yeah

IV: okay i figured it had to do with that

IV: it's a thing

PT: it sure is????

PT: i cant leave you alone for three measley years without you getting into some crazy shit.

PT: lmao jk.

PT: congratulations!!

IV: thank you

IV: if you mean that sincerely

PT: i do.

PT: shes beautiful.

PT: and i think youd make a stellar dad.

IV: that

IV: means a lot

PT: yeah im sure youre probably getting some shit for it... but thats how i feel.

PT: so youve got me in your corner at least.

IV: oh definitely

IV: that's good to know

IV: it's good to have you back

PT: a weird burnout runaway is in your corner but hey...

PT: yeah.

PT: its good to be back.

IV: how's your family handling it

PT: okay i guess. my parents are happy but i think my dad is gonna be pissed for a while too lol.

PT: im working things out with russet...

IV: that's cool

IV: i think she'll come around

PT: yeah im weirdly optimistic about it.

PT: i kinda expected more backlash but everyone has been really cool.

IV: you were really missed

IV: like

IV: by everyone

PT: yeah...?

IV: including me

IV: i missed you a lot

PT: i missed you too dude.

PT: ... im sorry.

PT: i must have really worried you.

IV: you worried me so much i went crazy and adopted a child

PT: fuck... i did this.

PT: if anyone gives you more shit about it you can just blame it on me.

IV: no i'm kidding

IV: it's believable though isn't it

PT: it really is.

PT: speaking of i gotta visit you and the baby soon.

PT: where are you living these days?

IV: with colt and little

IV: in odimist

PT: oh shit... hahaha.

PT: sorry.

PT: that just sounds like a trip.

IV: i mean it can be

IV: like last night colt dragged me out and we ran into joel and rammie

IV: joel had a lot to say

PT: about the baby? or just in general like he always do.

IV: both

IV: uses me as a reason to feel betrayed or something

PT: what a dingus dongus.

PT: dont let him get you down... you gotta do you.

IV: yeah i'm

IV: working toward that

PT: good deal.

IV: i don't think i've ever seen you near a baby

PT: i dont think ive been near a baby since lucy was born?? and i was practically still a baby then too.

PT: babies are cool tho.

IV: then you'll like sofia

IV: she's pretty cool

PT: i could tell by that picture you posted.

PT: i thought to myself... now that is one cool chick.

IV: it makes me wonder why anyone would leave her but

IV: i guess i have ideas

IV: and she's better off with me anyway

PT: agreed.

PT: hey... so...

PT: this is nice?

PT: being able to talk like this.

IV: well yeah it's

IV: always been

PT: i know... its just cool we can kinda... pick up where we left off?

IV: yeah i mean

IV: other than like missing you and all that stuff i still feel the same

PT: daw... :')

PT: that means a lot.

PT: i

PT: wanna be a better friend.

IV: stay a while and you will be

PT: okay... i can do that.

IV: we should actually like

IV: i don't know

IV: officially hang out

PT: yeah... i wanna do that.

IV: sooner rather than later

IV: i mean just saying

PT: you want me to come hike out to the woods rn for you?

IV: you could or i could go to you if it's a huge hike

PT: i mean colt kinda lives out in the middle of bfe.

IV: i could get him to watch sofia

PT: okay. how about we meet up someplace in amberhold so all i gotta do is zap over to odimist and you dont gotta trek all the way outta the woods and then to skaia?

IV: sure

IV: that sounds good to me

PT: noice.

IV: there's a coffee shop

IV: it's tiny but really close to like

IV: the transportalizer

PT: ok ill be there in two shakes.

PT: (two booty shakes.)

IV: perfect

FINN: -he'll be waiting at the coffee shop for her in a reasonable amount of time, sitting at a table with a tea and waiting-

RYAN: *enters the establishment with two more booty shakes. gotta show off the goods... though she is much thinner than she used to be and doesn't necessarily feel all that attractive. but oh well, she slides up to the table, flashing finn a smile.*

RYAN: heyyyy.

FINN: -she's still beautiful unfortunately for him. he smiles up at her- hey what a coincidence

RYAN: i know right?? fancy meeting you here.

FINN: take a seat stay a while

RYAN: *plops down across from him and steals his tea to take a sip of it.*

FINN: sure you can taste it

RYAN: thanks man. youre so generous.

FINN: i know i try

RYAN: *snickers and hands it back*

RYAN: so... finn. *chinhands at him*

FINN: ryan

RYAN: what have you been up to all this time? i mean i kinda know but give me the details.

FINN: where do you want me to start

RYAN: *sings* lets start at the very beginniiiing... a very good place to start.

FINN: so from when you left

RYAN: mm... i guess thats about the beginning yeah.

FINN: well i spent a lot of time volunteering all over the galaxy

FINN: i mean i don't think it will be that interesting for you

RYAN: i dunno man... why dont you give me your most interesting experience from it at least?

RYAN: see anything awe inspiring? meet any cool people?

FINN: well -he suddenly stops and looks to the side- yeah

RYAN: *tilts her head at him* yeah?

FINN: -remembers his talk with satomi and he clears his throat a little, fidgeting- i met a guy from where i'm from

RYAN: yeah? what was he like?

FINN: he was cool and he wa pretty old

FINN: was*

FINN: pretty sick too but had a great sense of humor you know

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] is now an idle chum! --

RYAN: *smiles softly. there's one way these stories usually go, but she's still happy to listen what it was like for finn.* yeah i get you.

FINN: told me all about what it was like growing up there

FINN: he was just a guy who refused to leave you know

FINN: until he was forced out

FINN: his name was mateo

RYAN: ah... tenacious with a sense of humor? mateo definitely sounds like my kind of guy.

FINN: you would have liked him

FINN: if you could speak spanish

RYAN: *laughs a little* if only...

RYAN: you should teach me sometime by the way.

FINN: i'd be down for that

FINN: stick with me you'll be a pro in no time

FINN: in which no time is quite a while

RYAN: pffff.

RYAN: okay tell me more about mateo. youve got me hooked.

FINN: well what do you want to know

RYAN: did he ever bestow any elderly wisdom upon you?

FINN: i guess you could say that

RYAN: *just chinhands at him like 8) *

FINN: just kind of told me that if i had the opportunity to explore where i came from then i shouldn't pass it up

RYAN: thats good advice.

RYAN: im pretty sure i came from like a utility closet on the uu or something.

FINN: so go explore that utility closet

RYAN: pretty sure i already have. ;) *remember that time finn...*

FINN: -THAT CANT BE THAT SAME ONE. he pauses and then gets red- oh that is not the same one

RYAN: you never know...

FINN: i can't believe you're entertaining the idea of having fucked in the same closet as your parents

RYAN: hahahahaha.

RYAN: um is that not romantic to you??????

FINN: romantic would not be the word i'd use to describe that

RYAN: *folds her arms on the table and lays her head in them, wheezing with laughter*

FINN: -STOP BEING CUTE IT'S RUDe. but he's laughing too-

RYAN: *surfaces with a big breath. okay, she's good.* god...

RYAN: this is fun.

FINN: -still laughing intermittently- yeah

FINN: hey if we made hgtv fun

FINN: possibilities are endless

RYAN: holy shit. *she's laughing again. memories...* okay so i hate to run off so suddenly but... its getting kind of late so i think im gonna head back to skaia.

RYAN: *she's a little paranoid about staying out late, for various reasons...*

RYAN: ill go to your place next time so i can meet the babby.

FINN: -it's sad she has to leave so soon but...he understands.- sounds like a plan

FINN: be safe on your way back okay

RYAN: yeah of course. *slides out of her seat, but before she goes she rounds the table to give finn a kiss on the cheek.*

RYAN: later alligator. *double pistols and a wink as she moves off to exit.*

FINN: -waves wordlessly after that cheek kiss. he'll be sitting here a while-

[primadonnatartuffe]

RYAN: *it's time to face the music... she said she'd talk to russet later, so here she is, later, dropping in at russet's place unannounced. maybe because she hopes she'll miss her to avoid doing this just a LITTLE bit longer... but ultimately she does want to, she's just scared. taking in a deep breath, she knocks on her sister's door.*

RUSSET: *No such luck Ryan, she happened to be home in her small little town house on her day off. She had been sipping tea and looking over her outline plan suggestions for the next Odimist fund raiser when she heard the knocking at her door. Mmm, it could be a few people really, but Russet had a bit of a hunch as she gets up from her table and goes to open the door.*

RUSSET: Oh hey =8I *She looks Ryan up and down.*

RYAN: hellooo... *says a little meekly and sheepishly* you busy?

RUSSET: Not really *She hesitates a moment before stepping aside.*

RUSSET: You wanna come in?

RYAN: yeah. *nods before she slowly starts to amble inside, looking around at the interior with interest and awe. russet must be doing well for herself...*

RYAN: i just wanted to... you know.

RYAN: follow up on what i said id do.

RYAN: and talk about... everything?

RUSSET: *Her etsy shop does do well to help fill out her bank account after her usual paychecks. Who knew so many people would want fridge cozies? The main room is rather minimalistic in design style, but just so you know her bathroom is space/galaxy themed.* Mm. Thats cool.

RUSSET: *Shuts the door behind the both of them.* I can reheat tea if you want any.

RYAN: yeah okay i could go for some tea i guess. *despite feeling antsy, she plops herself down on a couch or chair just so she's not standing around.*

RYAN: ... i like your place.

RUSSET: Thanks. *The couch is covered with pink and gray colored thick cableknit blankets, very soft and comfy. Russet briefly vanishes into the next room and a few minutes later she returns with two mugs, one being hers reheated, and another fresh cup for Ryan.*

RUSSET: *She wordlessly sets the mug in front of Ryan and then takes her on seat on the soft swivil chair to the right.*

RYAN: *by the time russet comes back, ryan is completely consumed by this fluffy cozy couch. but she can still reach out to grab her drink.* thaaanks...

RYAN: ...

RYAN: im not... super sure where to... start...

RUSSET: *She sighs over the top of her mug.* I guess I can start. Probably should say sorry for how I was being at the party. Wasn't really the place to hash this out anyways.

RYAN: *shrugs* i mean... its not unwarranted.

RYAN: i know it had to suck seeing me there before anything else.

RYAN: like not to throw a pity party for myself or nothing but i was just really stressed out about coming back.

RYAN: i thought if i just showed up at shindig itd be easier somehow? i guess i didnt expect to see you and finn AND jack all at the same time. the only thing that woulda made it more overwhelming was if dorian was there too. *wilts thinking about dorian... she really made an ass out of herself around him ages ago, and now he's nowhere to be found.*

RUSSET: *She too droops her shoulders at the mentions of Dorian. Why is their whole family troubled with disapearences?* Yeah well. You probably could have thought that through better yeah.

RUSSET: *Sips tea.* ...You said you're staying with dad?

RYAN: *nods slowly* yeah... i dont really know where else to go.

RUSSET: Im sure hes happy to have you around.

RYAN: ... i think hes still pissed at me. *sips also and keeps her mug close to her chest*

RUSSET: Well duh. A lot of people are gonna' be pissed. But even if he's mad hes got to be happy you're back home and safe and not gone with the wind.

RUSSET: Unless you plan to run away again. Not sure how well that might go over. *Sips at her.*

RYAN: *stares down at her mug* no...

RYAN: theres no point in me trying to leave again.

RYAN: there was no point to begin with.

RYAN: it was stupid...

RUSSET: Yeah. It was.

RUSSET: But you still did it.

RYAN: ... im sorry.

RUSSET: *She looks down into her cup, pulling her legs up into the chair with her so she can sit cross legged, and goes silent for several moments.* .............

RUSSET: Why did you do it?

RUSSET: Why did you run away again?

RYAN: i dont know i-- *draws in a sharp breath*

RYAN: it was so long ago now i barely even remember what was going through my head.

RYAN: of course i might remember it better if i hadnt completely fucking fried my brain lmao.

RYAN: *huffs another sigh* i just know i was like... overwhelmed...

RYAN: between jack and me... and with all my bullshit.

RYAN: i just know i wanted to hide from it.

RUSSET: *She listens, and tries to find ways to sympathize with Ryan. Her little sister did have a few problems, and Russet could wrap her mind around feeling overwhelmed by stuff, but running away for years? That was too much.*

RUSSET: You know there are other ways you could have handled it. Without ditching all of us.

RYAN: *eyes start watering. no... she's wearing mascara, she can't have this.* i know that... i know that /now./

RUSSET: *heavens not the mascara. See this is why Russet likes her circle shades, they do well to hide too much emotion.*

RUSSET: I guess at least you learned that much. *Produces a napkin and holds it out to Ryan.*

RYAN: *takes it* ... yeah. *she learned plenty more than that, but she doesn't want to make it seem like she's fishing for sympathy. she doesn't deserve that. she just tries to think of ways to update russet without it coming off that way.*

RYAN: i got into a lot of shit.

RYAN: i made a lot of mistakes.

RYAN: i had to go to rehab. *shrugs*

RYAN: thats why i came back.

RUSSET: Wait... What?? *Sits up more in her chair, frowning pretty harshly.*

RUSSET: Rehab?

RYAN: ... yeah. *dabs at her eyes with the napkin* i got really fucked up and this girl i was seeing made me go.

RYAN: and then she you know broke up with me.

RYAN: but again i dont blame her.

RUSSET: Thats...

RUSSET: Mm. Wow. Sorry I'm trying to like.

RUSSET: Form the right words to respond to that.

RUSSET: ......Thats rough, Ryan.

RUSSET: *Nailed it.*

RYAN: *shrugs* you dont have to say anything its fine. it is what it is.

RUSSET: Yeaaahhh but its still shitty. I mean, I'm mad at you but still thats difficult to go through.

RUSSET: Does your mom know?

RYAN: *nods slowly* yeah... i told her and dad first.

RUSSET: Thats good. I'm glad you told them.

RYAN: kinda have to tell people. you know... to reconcile and all that?? its all part of the program.

RYAN: but i want to anyway.

RUSSET: Oh. Well thats better then just coming back to complete the program.

RUSSET: .......I'm glad youre back. Even if it doesn't seem like it.

RYAN: *hearing that makes her eyes water more and her voice squeaks a little when she speaks* cool. yeah...

RYAN: im glad im back too.

RYAN: and i really...

RYAN: i really am... really sorry.

RUSSET: *Ryan you better not start crying, gdi. Russet is too much of a bleeding heart for this.* Thanks. I believe it.

RUSSET: I um... I dont know how long I'm going to be mad at you about this. I forgive you but also dont at the same time its really confusing. And its hard not to still feel hurt because until now I didn't have any idea why you ran away, and I didn't get to think about it too much because I felt like I had to pick up the pieces of everyone else, so I'm kind of bitter? *Says it like a question, shes figuring it out as she goes and just holds her mug closer to herself to feed off the warmth.*

RUSSET: I want us to be okay again, eventually. Because I thought we were getting to some sort of level of okay with each other until you ran off.

RYAN: yeah... i know i fucked it all up. *she's crying, she can't stop it now. she's bottled it up too long, and if there's one person she really feels guilty about, it's russet, for all the reasons she just mentioned.*

RYAN: i wanted things to get better... i was just--

RYAN: fuck...

RYAN: im just so sorry. i dont wanna be dumb or petty or awkward anymore.

RYAN: i missed you... i missed you nagging at me and i missed your cute little craft things and all your motherly lil habits.

RYAN: i didnt realize how much i needed people like that in my life to keep me grounded.

RUSSET: *Well heck. Shes turning a little orange now, a combination about Ryan saying all these nice things about her meddling, and then there is the whole choking back emotion because if Ryan is crying shes NOT going to cry. Because if they both start bawling it will never stop she knows it.*

RUSSET: Well shit. =B'I

RYAN: *wheezes out a watery laugh at that response.* i know... damn... really unexpected hearing ryan get all sappy.

RUSSET: *Nods and sniffles just a little.* It is. I think someone might have to pinch me to make sure this is real.

RYAN: would... a hug work?

RUSSET: *She thinks about it and then places her mug on the glass coffee table before opening her arms wide.*

RUSSET: Yes. =B''T

RYAN: *HHH she puts her mug down as well, wiggling out of this couch and then shuffling over to fit into her big sister's arms.*

RUSSET: *Wraps her arms around Ryan and gives her a big squeeze. This hug is pouring in the warmth and love of all the hugs she hasnt been able to give Ryan in years. Enjoy Russet's watery, emotional, bug chirps in your ear because its too much!!.*

RYAN: *the chirps are a comfort and she responds with more soft giggles. she sighs, relaxing into the hug and letting the warmth comfort her and convince her that things might finally start to be alright...*

RYAN: is it okay if i hang out here for a lil while...?

RUSSET: *She nods into Ryan's shoulder.* Mhm. I'm not doing anything today.

RYAN: okay cool cuz im gonna impose like hell for as long as i can get away with it. *pulls away, smiling softly as she flops back onto the couch*

RUSSET: *When she and Ryan part Russet breifly sneaks a finger under her glasses to wipe at her misty eyes.* Fine by me. But you shouldnt stay too long past dark unless you are getting a ride somewhere.

RYAN: *she's gotta dab at her eyes some more too...* yeah okay that can be arranged. *AND SO she gets settled in, drinking tea and catching up on some of the more positive things that have happened.*

[primadonnatartuffe]

RYAN: *leads jack outside the building to places unknown, mostly because she's forgotten what's in this area of town. but she doesn't care too much about where they're going anyway, she just wants to talk. she's quiet for a long moment, holding onto his arm and entirely too focused on that.*

RYAN: sooOOOooo...

JACK: *Glad to follow her down the riverside outlets. It's where the hotel was at after all. Also, Jack has no idea what the sights look like. He's just going by the sounds. The water's not too far off and the fancy high end restuarants are playing music.* This is nice. *comments, letting his cane tap at the pavement.*

RYAN: yeah.

RYAN: yeah thats what i was thinking too.

RYAN: haha...

RYAN: *keeps stealing glances before she makes herself focus ahead.* i didnt expect to see you here. or everyone else really... but i guess i was hoping.

RYAN: even though i was pretty much terrified of it too?

JACK: *Oblivious to her stealing glances.* I expected it. And I figured it would be more managable to rip at it like a bandaid.

JACK: Done.

JACK: Quick, fast, and in a hurry.

JACK: Everyone you ever took issue with all in one room. What happens next will blow your fucking mind...

JACK: Which was nothing.

JACK: It was painless, more or less. Just like collecting laundry.

RYAN: yeah. *laughs a little about it.* i dont really get why though...

JACK: *tilts his head as if considering* Maybe we were all just waiting for you.

RYAN: *looks at him again, brows knit and curious.* did you think id come back...?

JACK: For a while I didn't know. *he looks on* But then I did.

JACK: And it turned out alright.

RYAN: *coming back has been an emotional time, something she's mostly kept to herself, but hearing that makes it ooze out just a little as her throat constricts and her eyes water. it hurts worse to hold it back, but she's still trying.* i...

RYAN: yeah.

RYAN: haha... i guess it did.

JACK: *He can hear the emotion coiling in her voice. Something that would have made him apprehensive and uncertain before... was now reflecting back at Jack with the most clarity he's ever had experience with. He found himself feeling the pain with her, like he had always meant to.*

JACK: *squeezes at her arm.* Some place to sit would be nice.

JACK: Any benches around?

RYAN: oh shit right. yeah. *clears her throat and guides him to the nearest one. luckily there's plenty of places to sit in such a scenic area. she slides onto the bench, still holding him at the end of her arm.*

RYAN: pop a squat.

JACK: *And pops a squat he does.* Thanks.

RYAN: *can't help thinking back on that day on lauctis when they met on a bench just like, deciding to run away from it all. it's funny to her how they wound up running still, in completely different directions, and yet here they are again... she's probably overthinking it. but she still finds herself leaning on him a little bit.*

RYAN: is it alright if i asked what happened? with your eyes?

JACK: *He feels her lean on him and it's nice. Familiar. He's smiling a little.* I went fucking blind.

RYAN: ... listen.

RYAN: dont be a bitch.

RYAN: *wheezes gently*

JACK: *He's smiling more.* I've always been a little bit of a bitch.

RYAN: no fucking kidding... goddamn. *well, she's grinning. it feels good to goof off. she hasn't had fun in a long while.*

RYAN: here i am trying to have a serious conversation here... and you go and sass me.

JACK: Life has been too serious for my taste. *taps his fingers along the head of his cane.* It could stand to light up about some things.

RYAN: now thats the smartest thing ive heard all damn day. *giggles*

RYAN: ive been so... gloomy lately. and worried about coming home.

RYAN: everything just went to shit out there.

RYAN: itd be nice to have some fun again.

RYAN: *sways a bit, nudging against him* we used to have a lot of fun together right?

JACK: Yeah. I remember. *He thinks he can smell her perfume as she nudges at him. Tickling at some fondly meloncholy memories.* I'm having fun right now.

RYAN: heh... me too. *rests her head on his shoulder as she continues to sway, humming along with the music in the distance.*

JACK: *Just listens to her, stirring in the pleasant swirl of his thoughts. Sometimes it was just nice to sit like this... existing.*

RYAN: *resumes like this for a few quiet moments, enjoying the comfort of a familiar presence, and the promise that things would be alright. but she does eventually speak up again, though her voice is soft.*

RYAN: i missed you.

JACK: *Taking everything into consideration, it all boiled down to one simple fact for Jack.* Yeah. I missed you too.

RYAN: *looks up at him with her cheek still resting against his shoulder and smiles. she's still melancholic, reflecting on the past. everything that went wrong, between them, and for the both of them individually. but it feels bittersweet. already, it felt like old wounds were healing, and she's so glad she decided to come back.*

RYAN: im gonna stick around this time.

JACK: *He finds himself smiling again. Glad that when she spoke, the messages stopped being so complicated in his head.* I'm proud of you, Ryan.

JACK: Now... all that's left to do is go up.

RYAN: *the words seem to strike her right through the heart. her smile widens, and the laughter that bubbles out of her is watery all over again. the last thing she ever expected to hear when she came back was that someone was /proud/ of her. it's not like he knew just how badly she fucked up (as far as she knows) so maybe he just doesn't understand... but shit, she'll accept how it makes her feel a lit

RYAN: tle less like a failure.* yeah... hahaha... fuck. *wipes at her eyes, trying to avoid messing up her make up too bad. stupid tears.*

JACK: *brings his hand up, disregarding how smudged her make up might become and just... holds her to him. Letting her curl and sniffle and do whatever else she needed to do.*

RYAN: *no... she's going to fight him for being so sweet. like it's all so effortless. there's so many feelings she never forgot surfacing once again, making her heart race, but she didn't really expect anything like this to ever happen. she does curl against him as her tears fall, placing her hand over his and squeezing tight.*

JACK: *The quiet is heavy, disrupted only by the sound of music in the distance. In the end, Jack squeezes her hand in return. Continuing to stroke her hair with his other.* It's not much...

JACK: But the good news is the worst is over.

JACK: I hope you know that.

RYAN: *exhales, trying to steady the tears and the shake of her breathing. she ultimately smiles again, nuzzling against him.* i do now.

JACK: That's a relief. *hums* Of course. People usually cry when they have their faces pressed to my tits.

JACK: It's a normal thing.

JACK: A fate I have come to accept.

RYAN: *snrk...* okay cool so you wont be offended if i wipe my snot all over your tacky shirt here.

JACK: I've had worse wiped on me. It's fine.

RYAN: hehehe... actually its kind of growing on me. i dont think ill desecrate it. *smooths a hand over the fabric, which incidentally his chest is underneath it.*

JACK: *He's still as solid as ever. Workouts are kind of mandatory nowadays...* I'm sure it's a nice shirt. It's pretty good at soaking as far as I know.

RYAN: *god fucking bless these pecs. pat pat...* now it sounds like you want me to blow my nose into your tiddies.

RYAN: weird kink... but i guess i know of weirder.

JACK: *He's at such peace right now.* Correction-- crying on tiddies. That's what really gets me going.

RYAN: oh baby... then why dont we go back to your place put on some marley and me and really heat things up.

JACK: Hm. Can't say I'm very into dogs dying. Sorry.

JACK: *says this but he sounds amused.*

RYAN: okay then what would be your preferred method of inducing tears?

JACK: I daresay we have time and science on our hands.

JACK: Maybe it should be looked into.

RYAN: *internal wheezing.* well /i/ daresay you might be onto something there.

RYAN: i gotta take you home at some point anyway.

JACK: *All of Jack's smiles look too smug. It's a great feeling.* Excellent segueway.

RYAN: *she wants to punch his smug face!! with her mouth!!* why thank you. ;)

RYAN: gimme your address ill call a cab.

JACK: *And so... he does just that.*

[primadonnatartuffe]

RYAN: -knocks on the door of jin's room to the tune of mr. grinch.- RYAN: youre a mean one... RYAN: mr binch......... JINJIN: gill, it's open. -She even sounds like she's exhausted- RYAN: -creeps into the room like that tom cat meme.- RYAN: come on wheres your hoilday spirit. JINJIN: -Peeps from under her blankets, makeup on POINT- bah humbug. RYAN: youre a ho ho ho. :weary: RYAN: -slides to sit next to her- but youre lookin fabulous. JINJIN: alwaves, bitch. can't let bad vibes, ruin these good looks. where you been gill? RYAN: oh you know... around... RYAN: hangin with jack mostly. -gets cozy under these blankets. don't mind her.- JINJIN: practically attached at the hip ain't y'all? RYAN: mmmm kinda. RYAN: im planning on stealing him away now that were on a planet that actually has shit to do. no offense to your podunk homeland. JINJIN: don't hate on my kinky farmer homeland. besides, there's plenty of shit to do at the house. JINJIN: what you two been up to though? - :eyes: - RYAN: just. RYAN: fuckin. RYAN: nonstop. RYAN: jk hes been depressed so we kinda lounge around mostly. JINJIN: ocray, so both. -Nudges Ryan- JINJIN: -Crawls out from her nest, to grab her bowl and grinder. It's time...- RYAN: :eyes: RYAN: listen... i gotta do what i gotta do to make my babe feel good. RYAN: aka me. RYAN: im my babe. JINJIN: you remind me of the babe. -Casually grinding a nug- JINJIN: you talk to your pops lately. RYAN: mmm... not really... -watches her- JINJIN: -But dads tho...starts packing her bowl- JINJIN: apparently i got sisters bubbling up from that weird pond in the atrium? RYAN: say whaaaaat? RYAN: just when you thought we were done finding new family... JINJIN: right? -Lights the bowl and takes a big hit, holding the smoke in while offering Ryan the dank- it's bullshit honestly JINJIN: -Billows smoke after a moment- RYAN: whats their deal? -does the same, faking a contemplative look afterwards.- JINJIN: pops said something about alternate timeline or some shit I don't glubbing know. -Giggles tho because Ryan looks silly- RYAN: aw shiiiit. -grins. the contemplative facade is broken. passes it back after a moment.- RYAN: did you know dirks got some kid from one of them alt timelines too? crazy stuff. RYAN: i havent met him yet tho. JINJIN: what the shit? what a slut eelmao. -Takes it back and takes another hit- surfprised pops doesn't have any popping up, considering he's mister time guy. JINJIN: -This time she tries to blow smoke hearts- RYAN: also considering hes the BIGGEST slut. -if she manages to make smoke hearts, ryan will :heart_eyes: at them- JINJIN: tru tho. -She succeeds- like why he gotta be so old and sloottastic. RYAN: aaaaah. -she's distracted by the smoke hearts- RYAN: but the real question is... whos the biggest ho in this room... JINJIN: -side eyes Ryan- idk you tell me miss im gonna run away with my boyfrond every other week. 3Bp RYAN: excuse you but thats romantic. JINJIN: yeah ocray. -Blows a raspberry at her- RYAN: :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: RYAN: but really im trying to pry into your biz. RYAN: anything... finteresting going on in your life? :kissing_heart: -puns just for you- JINJIN: why you all in my business? you know me, boring old Jinjin. -Takes another hit, she's not hiding anything nope- RYAN: boring?? psssh. i dont buy it. RYAN: -gazes at her like :eye::eye: - JINJIN: what? I ain't did nofin! -Sweats. Stop gazing at her....- RYAN: youre awfully sweaty for an innocent person. JINJIN: beach it's hot! JINJIN: -Pretty much shoves the bowl at Ryan- RYAN: -snickers as she takes it back- RYAN: come onnnn. talk to meeeee. JINJIN: aboat what? how flawless my makeup game has been? cuz I can talk. RYAN: youre impossibllleeeee!!! RYAN: but i mean yeah we can always talk about that. :eyes: JINJIN: ugh, fine! since you twisted my glubbin arm. JINJIN: you Chanda right? lil thing that can turn into a big thing and dresses with the ferocity of a drag finalist? RYAN: :thinking: RYAN: mmmmm. pretty sure ive heard of a chanda. JINJIN: she's like the absolute loudest how could you not have. RYAN: listen........ RYAN: half the time i aint all here. just the way it is. RYAN: but do go on... :eyes::eyes::eyes: JINJIN: whale.... JINJIN: we kinda got a thing. a pale thing. a pale thing with pails... RYAN: !!! aaaaAAA SHIT. thats so cute? RYAN: fuck now i gotta meet her for sure. JINJIN: she's a bit extra. ocray a lot extra, but still. she's cool. just gotta put her in line sometimes. -She smirks a little. She liiiiiikes her- RYAN: awww look at you. look at this face. RYAN: -reaches out to hold her cheeks- youve got a gillfrond. :kissing_closed_eyes: JINJIN: -Blows a raspberry at her- JINJIN: ANYWAV--E! I might be traveling back to her star system, to start up a career.... -looks down at that- JINJIN: so um. I'm leaving, I guess. hehe? RYAN: -blinks at her- damn... youre just movin on up. RYAN: thats some good shit. -smiles, soft and genuine- good for you lady. RYAN: imma miss you tho... :weary: JINJIN: you're just as much my sister as bayo or rini. I'm gonna miss you too girl. and talkin boat you and your cutebass man. JINJIN: -She's also just WORRIED about her. Is she gonna be okay without her because she's barely hanging on as is- RYAN: -haha... what's she talking about... she's FINE...- RYAN: ill just have to run off and come see you lots and lots then. -casually scooting closer to her and rests her head on her shoulder.- JINJIN: or you could just come visit like a normal person. -Pets her head. She knows more than you tell but she won't force it- RYAN: but its more fun to run off??? JINJIN: Ry.... -Her voice takes on a concerned tone. One she tries to not use on her, but the worry....- RYAN: -fidgets- ... whaaat?? RYAN: im kidding. :disappointed: JINJIN: shore you is.

[primadonnatartuffe]

RYAN: -here they are at skaia... docked at the skaianet hub, there's so much shit to see and do. she isn't unfamiliar with skaia, of course, but after going so long without having anything to do she's feeling strangely overwhelmed by the possibilities. or maybe she just feels guilty running off and having fun.- 

RYAN: -whatever the case is, she's stuck on a bench in the terminals between the docking area and the rest of the hub, just watching people come and go while she takes a drag off a cigarette. it's one of the only vices she can allow herself to enjoy right now, but even that's pretty risky... surely someone will come along and scold her.-

RUSSET: -Did someone say scolding? She can do a good job at that. Russet has been a little slow with moving all of her stuff off ship, only having about half of her room packed up. There was just so many memories =8( - 

RUSSET: -So rather then doing more to sort through it all she had gone shopping to check out the new shops and relax. Although as she is returning she happens to spot a certain little sister participating in a rather nasty habit.- 

RUSSET: -Quietly approaches Ryan before sitting right down next to her on that bench- ............. =8|

RYAN: ... oh hai. 

RYAN: -doesn't stop what she's doing- enjoying the hub???

RUSSET: Yes 

RUSSET: I didn't know you smoked =8T

RYAN: surpriiiiise? 

RYAN: actually the real surprise is that youve never caught me before.

RUSSET: Well Im not your keeper 

RUSSET: I dont know everything about what you do

RYAN: lol yeah... you sure dont. -says it like a joke, but it's way half-hearted.-

RUSSET: Mmm -Marge Simpson noise- 

RUSSET: So whats with the smoking then =8?

RYAN: tastes good??? i dunno. 

RYAN: helps a bitch relax.

RUSSET: I heard they taste terrible 

RUSSET: You will also make your teeth yellow that way you know

RYAN: live fast die young bad girls do it well... -BEATBOXES-

RUSSET: -Ryan plz- 

RUSSET: They sure do =8T

RYAN: bluh. -relents and puts the cigarette out.- so youll quit lookin at me like that. 

RYAN: i could be doing faaar worse though just sayin.

RUSSET: I know but you could also not be doing bad things for yourself at all

RUSSET: Pretty sure bad habits are a big thing for both sides of our families

RYAN: oh hell yeah like we got addict family members coming out the wazoo. 

RYAN: not that im addicted to anything. 

RYAN: or. 

RYAN: am i. -the poorest taste in jokes. she has it.-

RUSSET: =BI

RUSSET: I still struggle to understand where you got your sense of humor from

RYAN: its a inherent trait with being born SUPER COOL.

RUSSET: Oh right -rolls eyes-

RYAN:B)

RYAN: ... so whatd you get while you were out?

RUSSET: =80 -Reaches into the shopping bag and pulls out this cute pinkish purse with cream rabbit  silhouettes.- =83

RYAN: bruh... 

RYAN: thats kawaii.

RUSSET: I know right 

RUSSET: I'm adding it to my collection

RYAN: i shooould... go shopping. 

RYAN: or something. -shrugs- 

RYAN: its like haha. ive been bored out of my fucking skull for months and now that were finally someplace where i can do shit??? i dont wanna. 

RYAN: ... its dumb. -glances off, leaning back on the bench.-

RUSSET: -Peeks over her sunglasses to try and see if she's looking at anything in particular but nah.- Yeah it is 

RUSSET: you should try doing something 

RUSSET: But also why weren't you doing anything before there was plenty of stuff to occupy yourself with =8?

RYAN: ... avalon wasnt really my scene i guess.

RUSSET: Why not 

RUSSET: I thought it was pretty cute

RYAN: yeah if you like... i dunno... CORN. 

RYAN: i did everything possible there?? i shopped around. but its all... VEGETABLES and shit. 

RYAN: i threw a barn party for our sweet precious nephews as you might recall. i guess that was alright. i got shitfaced so thats the plus there. 

RYAN: i looked at... some trees??? wow nature sure is amazing. 

RYAN: oh shit and i went on a hay ride. 

RYAN: and i did all that in like two weeks and i officially ran out of shit to do after that.

RUSSET: Well then you should have spread out all that fun =8I

RYAN: omgggg. 

RYAN: i didnt know wed be there EIGHTY FOUR YEARS.

RUSSET: Either way you should still learn to chill 

RUSSET: Take your time with experiencing things 

RUSSET: Do yoga or some shit =80

RYAN: -makes a face- ... yoga.

RUSSET: Yeah yoga 

RUSSET: Downward facing dog 

RUSSET: Cobra pose

RYAN: what the fuck???

RUSSET: Those are yoga poses

RYAN: sounds fake but okay. -of course she knows this, she just likes fucking with her.- 

RYAN: i guess i could try it? if i were doing it with someone else.

RUSSET: =BT -She knows this.- 

RUSSET: Well Im sure there are plenty of people you could do it with 

RUSSET: Like Durgah or probably Gallen

RYAN: -glances at her- you dont do yoga?

RUSSET: Sometimes I do

RYAN: so... 

RYAN: you dont wanna do yoga with me?

RUSSET: -Turns her head to look at her with a raised eyebrow.- you 

RUSSET: do want to do yoga with me =8?

RYAN: well!!! you suggested it so i figured you were like... inviting me. 

RYAN: -glances off again and shrugs- plus i wouldnt mind.

RUSSET: Oh 

RUSSET: No I was suggesting it just to suggest it 

RUSSET: -She does take a moment to ponder the idea of doing yoga with her little sister.- Hmm 

RUSSET: I mean I guess we could do some together

RUSSET: Never would have thought you would want to =80

RYAN: its something to do. -being a little tsundere about this still...- and i dont really know gallen or durgah THAT well so...

RUSSET: -Gets the urge to roll her eyes but doesn't.- Well it is possible to get to know them before asking but even if you didn't they probably still would say yes 

RUSSET: But sure I'll do yoga with you sometime

RYAN: -sways from side to side impatiently at the suggestion.- 

RYAN: awesome. then just hit me up when youre doing your thing? 

RYAN: good thing i already have yoga pants...

[primadonnatartuffe]

-- principaledOdyssey [PO] began bothering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 20:01 --

PO: Hi.

PT: heyyy.

PO: I hope you've been having a good holiday with your parents. That's why... i guess it's kind of hard to bring up this stuff right now.

PO: But um... you kind of know already.

PO: How jack's been having a hard time.

PT: yeah i mean.

PT: ...

PT: yeah.

PO: Well... dad kind of got a better look at him.

PO: So he sent him to john's.

PT: right.

PT: thats...

PT: thats something.

PO: Yeah...

PO: It didn't look very good. We're worried. But um.

PO: We'll keep you posted and stuff.

PT: thanks.

PT: ...

PT: sorry.

PO: ?

PT: i dont know.

PT: ugghh.

PO: I can talk if you like.

PT: i dont know what to say.

PT: im such shit at this.

PO: You did say sorry. What are you sorry for?

PT: sorry that this is happening?? for not properly expressing myself?? i dunno.

PT: that i didnt... say anything about how hes doing.

PO: It's not your fault, ryan. He's pretty cagey too. It's hard to get him to talk about anything.

PO: Sometimes i feel like he wants to... but maybe that's just me.

PT: maybe? ugh.

PT: im really no help.

PT: like...

PT: ive had shit going on. he probably doesnt wanna bug me with his stuff.

PT: or something.

PT: i dunno! i try not to make a big deal out of anything. i try to help him get out of his head.

PT: but it doesnt work.

PT: and i know its not on me.

PT: people always tell me shit like that.

PT: i just... i dunno.

PT: /shrug emoji.

PO: :(

PO: You're not alone.

PO: I feel so... helpless. A lot of the time.

PO: I wish i could do more. But i can't.

PO: At least he has us.

PT: yeah.

PT: it sucks.

PT: i just miss him.

PT: cuz even when im with him its like hes not really there.

PO: I know...

PO: The what's happening in his head isn't really him, you know? I just want to make sure there's a way to help him.

PO: Just stay strong okay?

PO: We'll let you know what happens.

PT: yeah... alright.

PT: thanks dude.

PO: You're welcome. And please.

PO: Talk to me any time.

PT: sure.

PT: might just take you up on that one haha.

PT: later rory.

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] ceased bothering principaledOdyssey [PO] at 21:03 --

[primadonnatartuffe]

DEREK: -IT'S CRIMBUS. CRIMBUS EVE. they're still getting settled back into their house on skaia, so there's unpacked boxes everywhere... and knowing the strider fam, they will likely stay like that for a good long while.- 

DEREK: -but the important thing is that they have the CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS set up. he's jamming to some mariah while tossing some presents under the tree last second. PERFECTO.- 

DEREK: -dirk and dave are supposed to stop by for tonight, but they've got their own plans otherwise. it's just a little immediate family thing. should be nice and laid back. OR NOT. who knows. but he's pumped.- 

RYAN: -she's in the kitchen, standing in front of the open fridge eyeballing the egg nog inside.-

RILEY: -unpacking--who even does that? it was no surprise derek put the Christmas decorations up first, because that's just what kind of a guy he is. the place still doesn't feel like their own yet, but she imagines with time it will. she also puts some last minute stuff under the tree as she enters the room- damn...killer acoustics with this place being nearly empty. it's like she's alive and actually here. 

DAVE: -he takes it upon himself to walk in with presents under his arm. no knocking or anything. he too puts his by the tree and goes straight for the kitchen. and there's Ryan- you feeling overheated

DEREK: Psh I wish she was. 

RYAN: -looks at dave- i mean yeah... thats what happens when you move from winter horrorland to a place with a normal temperature for this time of year.

DIRK: -HE'S HERE BEHIND DAVE and does the same as the rest of them, except he's dumping a disproportional amount of gifts under the tree. turns to thumbs up at his parents.-

RILEY: hey, baby. -waves at the oldest boy- jeez you sure you didn't want to use a forklift for all those? 

DAVE: if you ever stepped foot into houston youd just immediately disappear

RYAN: rip me... -closes the fridge and just punches dave lightly in the gut because she can.- 

DIRK: I could use the exercise. -now he's going in for a hug. C'MERE MOTHER.- 

DEREK: Nah... You look just fine. -observes, because they have the same body type whoops.-

DAVE: what happened to the conksuck spirit ryan 

RILEY: -hugs dirk tightly- that don't mean shit coming from you since you're built literally exactly the same. but in my professional opinion, dirk, you look great.

RYAN: i thought you were supposed to fight on decemberween??? 

DEREK: -SHRUG EMOJI- 

DIRK: I'm going to pretend that I'm agreeing with you. So thank you. -squeezes her and then moves on to derek. but instead of hugging it's an elaborate handshake.-

DAVE: thats another holiday in december 

DAVE: that you missed 

DAVE: too slow 

RILEY: -watches this performance worthy handshake- amazing. gets me every time.

RYAN: more like i gotta MAKE UP for my belated decemberween gifts!!! -punches dave more- 

DEREK: -this goes on for two solid minutes. it's outrageous.- 

DIRK: -FINISHES THE SHAKE WITH JAZZ HANDS.- So, how's moving in going? 

DIRK: I see you've already unpacked the essentials.

DAVE: -messes up her hair- uh oh uh oh 

RILEY: the decorations are the essentials in this house. not like. i don't know. beds. or soap.

RYAN: -tommy wiseau voice- dont touch me motherfucker... 

DIRK: Yeah, obviously. 

DEREK: This kid gets it.

DAVE: i cant stop uh oh uh oh -pushes her hair in her face- 

RILEY: i'll take dirk's place, then. and dirk can stay here and enjoy the decorations.

DIRK: ... No, that's okay. I like my giant house. 

RYAN: ppbbtbtbtbtbtbtbtt. RYAN: MOMMM. DAAAAD. DAVES BEING A LIL BITCH.

RILEY: meaning the decorations are not the essentials. bingo bango-- -hears Ryan yelling and snorts- THEN BE A BIGGER BITCH.

RYAN: -looks at dave- oh shit. 

RYAN: its going down. -steals his shades and puts them on, then shoves him and flees to the living room-

DAVE: -flashsteps to the living room- 

RILEY: there we go. beautifully executed.

RYAN: -THROWS SELF ON THE COUCH- stay back. 

DIRK: -flashsteps behind dave and gets his arms up under his to lock him into place.- Goodnight bitch.

DAVE: good fucking morning bitch -struggles- 

RILEY: it really feels like christmas now.

DEREK: -snickers and goes to lounge in an arm chair. the Dad Arm chair.- 

DIRK: Power struggle. Power struggle. 

RYAN: destroy him!!!!!!!!!

RILEY: i got front row seats to what you two would have been like as teenagers. -she sits crosslegged on the couch, entertained- 

DAVE: happy to be the underdog ryan thanks 

DAVE: -he's still trying to get out of this. his brother was always THAT MUCH stronger than him. close but so far-

RYAN: -wiggles to drape partially in riley's lap- 

DIRK: To be honest we ain't never gonna grow up. -releases dave because this is just SAD-

RILEY -gently pets Ryan's hair- 

DAVE: i dont know what youre talkin about 

DAVE: im the sole mature member of this family

DIRK: You're just sayin' that cuz you ain't as fun as the rest of us. -ruffles his hair. incredibly mature. and then he takes a seat next to the tree.- 

DIRK: Are we doing the gift thing?

RILEY: well fuck yeah we're doing the gift thing. -still petting ryan's head- 

RILEY: you wanna be santa? 

DAVE: -also plops down on the floor-

DIRK: I always wanna be Santa. 

RYAN: pick one for meeeee. im the youngest so i get all the prezzies first. -grabby hands from where she's lying.- 

DIRK: Alright, fine. -HANDS HER A GIFT. who knows who it's from.-

RYAN: -TAKES IT and starts to open.-

RILEY: -it's from riley. it's a box that holds two VIP backstage passes to sia. nobody knows if they are really keeping sia alive this long or if she's just a convincing hologram. who knows at this point?-

RYAN: (scream emoji)

RYAN: holy shit!!! THANK YOU MOMMY. -squeezes her- 

DIRK: -peeps...- I hope you're taking me. 

RYAN: yeah you wish.

RILEY: -hugs her tightly- now you can go somewhere and i'll kind of know where you are. ;) 

RILEY: i was thinking maybe you could take jack along.

RYAN: -quiets for a second but she smiles- yeah totally. 

RYAN: im definitely gonna make him go anyway.

RILEY: that's my girl.

DIRK: -hands riley a gift now- This is from me.

RILEY: yeah? -she smiles because she can't help it and takes the gift, carefully unwrapping it-

DIRK: -it's a soft fuzzy robe that says ONE BAD MOTHER on the back in glittery letters. there are matching slippers too. one says mo and the other says fo.-

RILEY: -she squeals upon opening it and feeling how soft it is- oh my god, i love it! -she's already putting it on- this is fucking great.

RYAN: -pets her arm- soft. 

DIRK: -smiles- Glad you like. 

DIRK: Looks good on you. -picks up the next gift... FOR DEREK? might as well cover all the bases while they're here. he passes that one along.- 

DEREK: -snatches it up- Lets see what we got here...

RILEY: isn't it? -she's still grinning- 

DAVE: -this one's from dave. when he opens it, it's going to be a beautiful katana. this is top tier, best of the best. but the fact that dave's 100% ok with giving his dad a katana at this point... that probably says more than any card can-

DEREK: ... -dammit dave, we all came here to have a good time. he can't help smiling a little bit...- Damn. This is some good shit. 

DEREK: Puttin it right over the mantle. 

 DEREK: Too pretty to use. -plus he's like TOTALLY ancient now so...-

DAVE: i know i made sure it was good shit 

DAVE: top shelf encased museum envied shit

[primadonnatartuffe]

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] started pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 12:52 -- 

IV: hey 

IV: ryan)

PT: oh hey finn. 

PT: whaddup.

IV: i saw this bird on the internet 

IV: you know the world wide web 

IV: and i thought of you IV: and i thought IV: i should talk to ryan

IV: oh here is the bird

IV: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6b/81/27/6b812707dc7576e365623a9871e799e7.jpg

IV: it's pink and also blonde a little

IV: i think the similarities are pretty obvious

PT: holy shit... the resemblance is uncanny really.

IV: i know 

IV: anyway 

IV: what are you doing

PT: shruggin. 

PT: shruggin about how little im doing right now.

IV: are you still mad at me

PT: i dunno. 

PT: going behind my back and telling jack whats up sure didnt help me feel better. but i guess it had to be done or whatever.

IV: fair 

IV: you really don't deserve to go through that shit alone even if you think you do IV: and it's not fair that i knew and jack didn't cuz i'm not your boyfriend and you aren't obligated to keep in contact with me

PT: im not obligated to do shit for anyone fyi. 

PT: its not like you knew cuz i told you. you knew cuz you figured it out. 

PT: and i dunno. maybe i was already in the fucking process of talking to him but you swooped in before i really even had a chance??? 

PT: its a good thing he isnt pissed at me like he couldve been by finding this shit out thru the grapevine.

IV: you weren't though

PT: i was going to his place after we got into it smartass!!! 

PT: ugh. but thats not really the point.

IV: i told jack because i'm not convinced you think you need or deserve someone else through all of this

PT: bluuuuUUUUUUHHHH.

IV: bleeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHH

PT: 😑

IV: i can make emojis too

IV: look

IV: 😒

PT: omg quit being such a binch.

IV: i can't turn it off 

IV: 😍

PT: oh my god?? cease.💀

IV: 🐗

Dank Strider-Last Tuesday at 3:04 PM

PT: 🛑 🙅

IV: red octagon

IV: no good

PT: thats right bitch.

IV: how about 🔷

PT: fuck your large blue diamond.

IV: wow 

IV: you gotta give shapes a chance

PT: how did it end up like this...

IV: it was only an emoji

PT: ugh... now im not even mad anymore. 😕

IV: 🏆

IV: i miss hanging out with you

PT: yeah... me too.

IV: can we change that

PT: yeah. 

PT: we can do that.

IV: can we change that today

PT: ... 

PT: ye. 

PT: let me roll out of bed and put some pants on and ill meet up with you.

IV: cool 

IV: where

PT: iunno. 

PT: do you wanna explore outside now that were on skaia?

IV: oh are we 

IV: i guess that's why we were moving huh IV: shit IV: whatever yeah i'll meet you outside

PT: 👌

PT: see you soon boy.

IV: is it cold outside

PT: weather reports say its a tid bit nipply. 

PT: but not like freeze your tiddies off cold like on avalon.

IV: so a sweatshirt 

IV: okay 

IV: i'm heading out there

PT: okay dork. 

RYAN: -SHE'S OUTSIDE THE SHIP. there are some people coming and going, moving things on and off the ship and it's kind of bittersweet to see, but mostly she's glad they're in an actual city and not the middle of BFE. she looks around, wondering if finn got there before her or not.-

FINN: -he didn't. he's a little slow today, but by the time he gets there, the high has mostly worn off- hey

RYAN: haaaaay. 

RYAN: -feels a little awkward seeing him and isnt too sure what to say- ... 

RYAN: -does a little dance to relieve her tension- haaaay. hoooo. haaaay. hoooo. -nailed it.

FINN: -he can't help but laugh a little at how goofy she's being and he gets why but for once he's less anxious and awkward than she is- sorry can you do that again i missed it

RYAN: -RAISES THE ROOF.- haaaaay. 

RYAN: hooooo. 

RYAN: haaaaaay. 

RYAN: come on join in.

FINN: -it's hard not to snicker- one more time

RYAN: no fuck you. -grins at him-

FINN: -coughs into his hand- already did

RYAN: wow. 

RYAN: i cant believe this sass right now. i came out here to have a good time.

FINN: i think you came out for this exact thing

RYAN: you might be right about that. 

RYAN: -grabs his sleeve- come on lets quit standing around. theres too much shit to see here.

FINN: -lets her drag him along with no qualms. honestly he's just happy to be hanging out with her again- where do we even start

RYAN: well i usually hit up the shopping area personally... my wardrobe is in some desperate need for an update.

RYAN: btw thats what i want for christmas. 

RYAN: more clothes.

FINN: good thing you told me because what was i going to do 

FINN: without that information

RYAN: probably be like duh???? what do i get ryan??? i just dont know and im so overwhelmed by not knowing.

FINN: it's all that's on my mind 

FINN: think about it all day every day 

FINN: tossing and turning in my sleep

RYAN: yeah i know. because i know you so well.

RYAN: -heads right to the shopping area -- a nice kind of outdoor shopping mall, but green as the rest of the city with trees all up and down the walk way.-

FINN: -it's so strange being in an environment like this and knowing they're going to stay here--and actually stay here- is this what this is 

FINN: where i buy you everything you want for christmas

RYAN: yaaaas bitch. -drags him into the nearest clothing store-

FINN: oh my god 

FINN: what are we looking at here

RYAN: you see finn... some people put other things on their bodies aside from sweaters? 

RYAN: we call this a dress shirt. -points at a lavender dress shirt with pink and white stripes.- dreeesss shiiiirt.

FINN: -pretends to look shocked- oh my god 

FINN: are you serious 

FINN: my mind has been officially blown

RYAN: i know its a total culture shock but trust me... you might find that you like it.

FINN: well i mean if i'm buying everything for you then i'm not going to be able to buy anything else

FINN: you might be stuck with sweaters for the rest of your life

RYAN: eugh... just make sure theyre CUTE.

RYAN: -drifts over to some cute dresses though...-

FINN: -follows after her- all my sweaters are cute

RYAN: your face is cute.

FINN: see so i can make it work

RYAN: your cute face cant save you in all situations. 

RYAN: just most of em. 

RYAN: -sighs a little while she's looking through a rack. something is on her mind.-

FINN: -he can tell because of that sigh and he would be surprised if she tells him anything personal anymore, but that's not going to keep him from asking anyway- what's the sigh for

RYAN: mrrgg. 

RYAN: im just being nostalgic. -shrugs- 

RYAN: thinking about this time we went shopping on lauctis. and i bought him this jacket to try and cheer him up. 

RYAN: -pbbbttss and moves onto another rack.-

FINN: you and jack i'm guessing 

FINN: is it just me or do you seem sad about it

RYAN: meh. 

RYAN: its just been... i dunno. -SHRUGS MORE- 

RYAN: hes really distant most of the time. 

RYAN: i dont know how to get him out of his head i guess.

FINN: i'm assuming you've been trying 

FINN: because that's the sort of thing you do

RYAN: yeah. 

RYAN: its not like im... losing patience with him or anything like  that? fuck no. 

RYAN: i just... 

RYAN: wish i could help more.

FINN: no i get that 

FINN: but maybe you're not supposed to be the one to help him 

FINN: maybe you just have to find options for him to take if he wants 

FINN: help he can get 

FINN: stuff like that 

FINN: reveal a path and he can choose if he wants to go that route 

FINN: but it sucks 

FINN: -looks at her- watching someone you care about suffer when you can't be the one to help them 

FINN: there's a way it's just 

FINN: you're not the way

RYAN: -she lets all that rattle around in her head for a moment before she looks back at finn, a more earnest sadness written on her face then she usually allows herself to express.- 

RYAN: guess youre right. 

RYAN: its basically the worst. 

RYAN: i dont really expect myself to be a cure all. like i barely expect myself to be helpful to begin with. 

RYAN: i usually dont even try that hard you know? haha. i joke around with people and thats about the extent of it. if that doesnt work i split. 

RYAN: but i like... you know... -looks away, grumbling- love him and shit so. -sHRUGS AGAIN. why is she saying all this? she doesn't know. she's on fire.-

FINN: -hearing her say that makes him look away a little, sifting through the clothes on the rack now-  yeah 

FINN: i know

RYAN: -glances at him again... something about that reaction is weird to her, like maybe she shouldn't have said all that. so she quiets and goes back to looking through clothes.-

FINN: -the silence makes him feel like he probably should have made himself say more than that. he pauses, looking over at her again- he's going to be okay 

FINN: he has you 

FINN: just remember you have to take care of yourself first before you take care of him

RYAN: ... gotcha.  -she just wishes she knew how to do that. take care of herself. moreover, she wishes she wanted to.-

FINN: how are you doing anyway

RYAN: ive been worse thats for sure. -picks out something she likes finally-

FINN: i mean 

FINN: i could say you could talk to me if you wanted but 

FINN: i may have kind of fucked that up already

RYAN: -frowns a little at him- i dunno what youre talking about.

FINN: which part

RYAN: the fucking it up part. 

RYAN: but also the part where i talk about my feelings... like whaaaaaat? who does that.

FINN: come on 

FINN: me being an overbearing asshole to you and quinne in the cafeteria 

FINN: and telling jack what i told him

RYAN: yeah i mean fair but i dunno. 

RYAN: as crappy as i think it is thats also kinda... 

RYAN: i guess that feels like the more responsible route to take. 

RYAN: i cant really spurn you for looking out for us. 

RYAN: i can but i dont really want to. -turns away from him, shuffling in the direction of a fitting room.-

FINN: -that's relieving to hear, especially with everything that's been happening. it sure takes some of the stress off. he follows her and naturally he'll stop before the fitting room to give her privacy or whatever- i mean that works for me

RYAN: -snorts and glances at him with a little smile before slipping into the fitting room.- good deal. 

RYAN: -she pauses once she's inside, looking at herself in the mirror. she hates how detached she feels from the person she sees... she should be having fun right now, but nothing felt right. nothing really felt worthwhile. that's the truth on how she's doing.- 

RYAN: ... -takes a seat on the bench inside and just kind of sits there quietly for now.-

FINN: -smiles back and just stuffs his hands in his pockets while looking at the wallpaper. he'll wait for as long as he needs to. despite what she's feeling, he admires her a lot for confronting her issues and maybe he'll be able to keep on confronting his own. how long u in there ryan-

RYAN: -she's taking ENTIRELY TOO LONG in here-

FINN: -he's a little concerned, so he knocks on the door- hey ryan

RYAN: what??? -voice seems to crack a little. whoops.-

FINN: -he frowns- do you 

FINN: can i come in -she sounds upset-

RYAN: -slowly pushes the door open. she IS upset, in fact. she's still sitting on the bench, her face red and eyes a little watery.-

FINN: -his expression softens and he enters, shutting the door behind him so she doesn't feel like anybody's looking. he takes a seat next to her- what's up

RYAN: -puts her head in her hands and sighs shakily- i dont know.

FINN: that's okay FINN: that's to be expected -there are a few things he wants to suggest but for now he decides to do what he needs to do: listen. just be there. unless she asks him for his advice. he pulls her against his chest just to hold her - no rush

RYAN: -it's a relief to be reassured that she doesn't need to say anything, that she doesn't need to understand. she feels so lost and it's frustrating, especially when all she can do is cry about it. she turns into his embrace and let's the tears fall quietly.- 

RYAN: th... thanks...

FINN: of course -when she turns into him, he holds her tighter, wanting to make sure that she has no chance to feel alone. he wishes he could take this away from her, but it's not that simple-