Something that really amuses me is the outright Rasputinian methods you have to use to kill Tiamat.
First, Enkidu (the chains) are used by Kingu in an attempt to hold her. The chains are stronger the more divinity the target possesses, and given Tiamat is the Primordial Goddess of Mesopotamian mythos, of course she has that shit maxed out. Except, she is so tough that she still breaks through it.
So your crew is like “well Ok Then, what now”, but then you recall your silly dumb adventure in the underworld because Ereshkigal is kind of a dick, and you remember, OH YEAH, THE UNDERWORLD, that has a super heavy Anti-Divinity aspect! Unlike containment, that works directly on Tiamat’s strength! Let’s dump this giant bitch in there like a donut in coffee!
So you do, and she’s like “AAAAAAAAAAA” (”WHAT THE FUCK”) but she’s still utterly unkillable because Tiamat simply lacks a concept of dead, so she [Shirou Voice] won’t die if you can’t kill her, so while she is weaker than before, she is still is stupidly strong and, well, unkillable.
“MAN, IF ONLY WE COULD, LIKE, KILL THIS UNKILLABLE, LOUD LADY” your pals wonder.
BUT THEN, Ziusudra, an old man NPC that has been with you here and there in the Babylonia chapter, is like “PSYCHE” and removes his disguise and it is actually KING HASSAN and the only hint to this was that Ziusudra holds his cane in the same way and pose Hassanest holds his sword, and you are like “hold ON how the wtf are you here! This is historically incorrect!”, and he’s like “ok so like I respect you a lot from the big help you provided us with back in Camelot, and you remember I promised I’d help you when you needed it? WELL, THIS IS IT” so what happened is that he basically summoned himself with you as the Master (he can do this because he’s King Hassan and King Hassan does whatever the FUCK King Hassan wants), and outright dropped his Grand Servant title and became a regular Servant simply to help you because King Hassan is the fucking greatest, and he CUTS Tiamat’s wings off, prompting an “AAAAAAAA!” (”OKAY THAT’S JUST RUDE NOW”), simultaneously running mortality.exe and installing the Concept of Death in Tiamat.
So between the debuff from being literally in God Hell, having her wings cut off, and having Mister Assassin Himself inject the idea of things dying when they are killed in her, Tiamat was finally killable. This all meant only one problem remained: Actually fucking killing her, because she was still ungodly powerful and terrifyingly strong. Like, just being close to her kills you because of the Primordial Sea’s Chaos Tides (which translates in game to dealing straight up 4k damage to your whole party at the end of each of Tiamat’s turns just from being close to her), but FOR THAT, we grab ANOTHER GRAND SERVANT, Merlin, who also Came To Play, who gives you the Wizard of Flowers and Protection From The Netherworld blessings, which let you, like, survive being near Tiamat (represented in game by massive defensive and offensive buffs and 4k HP regen at the end of your turns), and thus allowing you to punch her in her big toothy face, which you DO, but surprise, Tiamat is REALLY GOOD AT TAKING PUNCHES IN THE FACE, so she doesn’t really go down that easily, all the while nuking you with laser beams, so it takes Caster Gil saying “ONE SECOND”, taking of his shirt, finding Ea in his shed, and gelling his hair straight up to come and blast Tiamat’s face with Enuma Elish a couple of times, which doesn’t fully do the trick, but it certainly works, because then your face punches added up to it, and Tiamat finally lets out a dying “aaaaa” (”this party fuckin sux, I’m LEAVING”) and dies when she’s killed, and that’s how you spend a truly monumental amount of time wrestling with a very loud, very big lady.
And then you have Kiara who is like “OHH I WILL BE A BEAST SO I CAN BE PUNISHED BY MANY HEROES~” and goes down because she didn’t update Norton Antivirus, and honestly, I’m kinkshaming.
romaincrisis
pixelskylines
titsay
turnnoffyourmind