being so real about this, besides making me upset and confused, today im realizing im actually really sad, never really thought nam and hoseok, my two guys would make me feel like this and im not really the type of person to put celebrities on a pedestal, i dont think they're perfect, they're not my idols i dont like calling them that way but for sure because of their music and bc of who they allow us to see about them, they are my two guys and i admire them, and its fun being a fangirl, its fun connecting with people through other people, its amazing what artists can make us feel
so now im so upset, so upset but beyond words i am sad
and i just know they will not acknowledge this and that makes me feel even worse, bc this is not about hybe, this is not about contracts and what could be forced situations they have to be in
and i wasnt waiting for this to happen, in the end its not really THAT surprising, because i cant bet on them or anyone, but i see a lot of "ppl were just waiting for this to happen so they can talk shit about them", you know what, i didnt but if thats true... it happened anyway, and i wish i didnt care, those armys celebrating them or defending them seem pretty fucking peaceful im jealous, i just cannot help feel what i feel
the whole "they are adults" is now divided on "they are adults, EDUCATED adults and they know whats going on" and "they are adults you cant tell them what to do they dont owe you anything they dont even know you" im sorry shut the fuck up
of course im not gonna go HEY HOSEOK HEY NAMJOON i demand an apology! bc they are their own person, i dont fucking know them and they dont know me
and to me, as the person i am, surely they dont owe me anything just like i dont owe them anything either
but to that community they know it exists and they know its part of their army yes they fucking do
im not gonna try and change their minds and make them good people and beg them to be mother theresa or whatever, thats not on me, its all them, but i do wish i could let them know, remind them that they have the chance to come clean, recognize their errors and just stop playing dumb basically
i saw a comment that really broke my heart earlier "how are we supposed to be your loudest voice if youre not listening to us?"
i dont have the right words either in spanish or english to actually put out there what i feel, this is just my rambling and i dont know whats gonna happen or how this will sit with me or how long, im normally someone who forgives and forgets for my own good cause i wont waste too much energy on something that is not worth the faith
but yes im gonna keep questioning my favorite artists behavior if something is not clicking with me thank you very much, blind love i dont have that
