Cassetti, Your Benevolent King

La Manchaland? More like La Bum Land!

[princeofthetrain]

Welcome to the Kingdom of...

...I Haven't figured out the name yet, but it is ours! I am your benevolent and kind ruler, Cassetti! You who follow me are my subjects, and I love each and every one of you to the ends of the earth! Now, if you are anyone on this list, be warned, I shall not hesitate to cast you out! - A certain blonde second kindred who is super super mean and evil - A woman in a pink dress who has an umbrella who is super mean and makes me do things like straighten my back or adjust my posture - A hag who wears a red dress and has scissors that are stupidly big like get those scissors out of my face and I don't wanna try on your clothes damn it! - The Priest can talk. He is nice. - A Good for nothing, absent, delusional, childish, and irresponsible "First Kindred" who abandoned our family just because he and that blonde meanie wanted to play pretend... I'd never leave my family. I care about my subjects! Anyways, Welcome to our Kingdom!

[princeofthetrain]

[Implants the memory of the red mist killing an arbiter] have this knowledge, and suffer knowing you will never be as cool or powerful as the red mist, as she beat an arbiter while exhausted!

....I care not for the fights of fixers. Gives bad memories of Don Quixote going on rants for hours...

[princeofthetrain]

what’s you new year resolution?

To eat more!

[princeofthetrain]

Can bloodfeinds consume and digest things that aren’t derived from human blood? Or is it just. Hellish tummy ache

Tummy hort :(

[princeofthetrain]

Don Cassetti! Lady Sasha! What do you do all day? Do you have playing cards or something? Is the warp train fun? Is it nice being a bloodfiend? Why is water bad for you?

We have a "Stream... Dock"?

Steam deck.

Yes that! And we have been playing ba... Bar-

Balatro.

Yes that, and as for being a bloodfiend, I shall let my knight Sasha take it away.

Thank you my lord. Being a bloodfiend feels... Liberating for me. It's like a feeling of family I have been missing all my life, and I finally have it. The only downside is that water makes us feel sick as all hell, but we don't know why. My Lord simply says it is because, and I quote, "Water is the devil's blood, and reminds me of having to work concessions in la manchaland!!!"

[princeofthetrain]

you are not my king.

fuck yoy

*phases out of the warp train's reality*

D:

[princeofthetrain]

How do you not get back pain sitting on that “throne” of yours my guy…

ITS QUITE COMFORTABLE THANK YOU VERY MUCH >:(

[lavendertoastmoth]

Are we sure, Cassetti..?

[princeofthetrain]

It's ergonomic because I can change the shape of it when I want!!! I was just... Slouching that day. THE CRIME OF INSULTING MY CHAIR IS TO BREAK YOUR ANKLES!

[princeofthetrain]

Do bloodfiends actually hang upside down like bats when they sleep?

N...no! No they don't!!!

[princeofthetrain]

How do you not get back pain sitting on that “throne” of yours my guy…

ITS QUITE COMFORTABLE THANK YOU VERY MUCH >:(

[princeofthetrain]

How do. Bloodfiends clean themselves if you hate water??

Dust Bath :D

[princeofthetrain]

Trick or treat!!! Happpy halloween

A-ah! I've heard of this festivity!

Ahem

Happy Hal- Hallow- Halloween, yes thats it. Feel free to indulge yourself on these sweets I have prepared!

My lord... They are 20 year old candies... We don't want to-

NONSENSE SASHA! WE SHALL DISTRIBUTE THE TREATS IN THE SPIRIT OF THE HOLIDAY!

[princeofthetrain]

I wouldn't say coexistence is impossible, its just a delicate balance of living a life in vignette alongside those you love. It has been in my experience, anyway.

...don't speak on the matter. That old and senile man was punished for even considering the thought. The only future for bloodfiends is one where we become the dominant species, with humanity as our eternal feast.

[princeofthetrain]

Who's a good bloodfiend?

ME :D I AM THE GREATEST BLOODFIEND TO EVER BLOODFIEND!!!!

You all are insufferable.

[princeofthetrain]

Why did you turn that one guy into a pillar, Cassetti? That’s not very nice!

He called Sasha a mean mean word!

My Lord, Calling me a "Clanker" doesn't justify the pillar-fication of that man...

NONSENSE! HE COMMITTED THE CRIME OF TREASON! IT DESERVES DEATH!!!!!!!

[princeofthetrain]

Do you name ur bloodbags?

....no, they have names. They usually keep the names they had beforehand.

[princeofthetrain]

*plays with your cute little feather*

H-hey don't touch that! Took a lot of work getting it just right...

[princeofthetrain]

Why does Sasha call you Babygirl?

How about we keep eating our passengers in quiet, my Subject.