|| Bigender transmasc boygirl she/he || This is specifically a feminist blog, I mostly talk about transmascs but will frequently expand to talk about feminism in general
My name is V I’m bigender (transmasculine) and I post a lot about how my identity intersects with misogyny. I believe that I am fully a woman as well as fully a man although I live most of my life as a woman. I could also be classed as genderqueer or androgyne but I don’t call myself that as often.
If you’re going to make a callout post about me at least @ me I love attention
Running list of things I’ve been called because I think it’s funny, if you hate me please feel free to add to this list. All of these come from either TERFs or transmasc targeting transphobes
Middle aged British woman
Most mentally ill trans man
Least obvious transandro
Sock puppet
Deranged psycho
TMRA trying to poison transfeminism
Transmasc Ben Shapiro
Pathetic cisgender woman/fake trans
Terven princess
Bitch (x5), Cunt (x6), Pooner (x3), Slut (x1)
Some more info about me and my beliefs under the cut:
I’m pretty critical of the trans community because it’s my home and I love it. I don’t want us to have to live in a house with broken windows and leaky faucets just because we’re convinced that we can never have anything better. I want better for us. I want us to be safe and happy and I don’t want any of us to be shoved aside as if we don’t matter. Trans liberation should not only be available for white binary trans people who pass. We need more love for trans people of color outside of turning dead Black trans women into saints without ever listening to what they fought for. We need more love for trans people outside of the imperial core, especially those who don’t speak English or who struggle with it. We need more love for intersex people no matter how they identify. We need love for people who, seeking acceptance from a community who is meant to love and care for them, are told that their issues are “too complicated” or “derailing the conversation”. To the people on the fringes: I love you.
One thing that’s going to be controversial about me is that I will be referring to myself as female. I don’t believe that it’s useful to me to say I’ve changed my sex or that I’m not deeply affected by the patriarchal, sexist society we live in. I don’t believe this is “self misgendering” as I literally don’t believe that it’s possible to misgender yourself and I also don’t think sex and gender are the same thing. If you, the person reading this, do not identify this way that’s fine but please don’t try to change the way I speak about my body and my oppression because it makes you uncomfortable. I don’t believe that your identity has any impact on mine or my validity and I hope you will extend me the same courtesy.
I do also believe in *some* of the tenets of radical feminism. I mean this with as much emphasis as possible: some. I don’t believe in trans exclusion, I’m not a lesbian separatist, etc etc. What I do believe is that gender is a construct that has mostly been used to create a sexist hierarchical society (think gender roles and stereotypes). In my ideal post-patriarchal world, nobody would be trans in the way that no one would be cis, we would all just use whatever clothes and pronouns we wanted and there would be no hierarchy. I also believe that sex based oppression is real and I don’t think misogyny could exist without it. This does not mean I don’t believe in transmisogyny or that I think all misogyny is sex based.
Another important thing I believe is that we really *really* need to do more to center trans voices outside of the imperial core. White people in the trans community (including myself) also need to stop appropriating language used specifically about racial violence (eg “digital lynching” to refer to blogs getting banned) and language that is hyperbolic to the point of meaninglessness (calling bans on gender affirming care for children in the US “genocide”)
As a last note I’m sincerely uninterested in any discourse that completely ignores misogyny as a monstrous violent force in our world. If I see one more person talk about “AFAB privilege” or say female specific issues like pregnancy, abortion, FGM, menstrual stigma, lack of inclusion in medical studies, child marriage, (I could go on forever) don’t matter as much as what trans people in the US go through I’m going to lose my mind.
Talking to someone about farming and realizing they think family farms are like the be all and all and you cannot get them to understand that indentured workers and farm trafficking are much more common and much worse… they will say “but it’s your choice” like yes in a very very specific scenario only available to people who already have the privilege of their own roof over their head and no scrip. You do realize that’s not what the situation is for most farmers right?
Aw man we can’t talk about slave labor because some people have vegetable gardens… you really got me there…
Just wanted to say I had my doubts when you went on on that essay because it sounded a bit mean but after the last long ask, absolutely, I agree there were problems with that essay. A lot of transradfem separatists just plain don't want to listen to anyone who isn't a trans woman, they expect transfeminism to be centered on trans women and nobody else. If you don't care about the women whose work was used to build transfeminism, I don't know, I don't think this version of the movement has any chance of succeeding.
Yeah everyone’s interested in feminism and quoting Crenshaw and hooks out of context but only when it directly serves themselves. I almost never see a trans person who can’t get pregnant at a reproductive rights rally for example. Self centeredness is not going to get us anywhere
I think the "I'm not coming out" essay is interesting in a few ways and I like to use it as a briefer on the idea of forcing people out of the closet or why people shouldn't contribute to "egg cracking" or the weird driving of people out of the closet. I think it also highlights something that has always bothered me with the concept of "coming out" at all and the concept of people thinking that living your life in the closet isn't inherently a choice that you make for yourself. Yeah, coming out can feel great but it genuinely is exaggerated to a point of being seen as a "necessary" step that must be taken to be trans or queer in general that is really unhealthy; seeing as she has, now, come out from what I understand (she's out online at least I assume seeing as her name is attached to the essay) I do think the way that she frames it makes it seem like going against the norm when in reality many people never come out and many people probably SHOULDN'T come out for their safety, at least for the time being.
That said, the article really is hard to read without coming away with "wow the author really, really doesn't like cis women." Regarding your point you made to one of the asks you got, the mentality that people should just have been able to tell that the author had been SAed or was a trans woman all along annoys TF out of me, and while I'm sympathetic that she had a lot of incredibly invalidating and awful experiences growing up, as someone who also experienced that a lot as a trans masc person I don't think it's at all as invalidating as the idea of treating the way cis women speak about cis men like they're catty and horrible almost universally. The author clearly had 1. Friends who were vocal, honest people in her life and 2. A lot of unpacking of what cis-passing privilege she had while she was still in the closet.
There's a ton of coddling of men throughout her article (but I can understand mourning for her childhood that she was forced to live seeing as she had one or two moments where she felt seen despite living as a boy outwardly and knowing she wasn't) and I think her fervent distaste for women turns to misogyny pretty much every time. From a student point of view she clearly didn't learn much from the feminist and gender studies classes she attended because she was more worried about being told she didn't have a perspective worth listening to than actually taking in why the people who implied or said that to her were saying it at all. (In a feminist class, to be real, I am not shocked to hear this.)
It feels like every person in her essay that isn't a cis woman is allowed to have the grace of context and background while every woman that isn't herself is painted as just another wheel of some weird anti-man hate train rather than also likely backed up by her gravitating towards independent women who are fully entitled to disliking men until they prove that they're worthy of being seen as equal to themselves. (That's how cis men navigate the world after all, if not with the even more patriarchal expectation that nobody will ever be equal to them outside of other cis men like themselves.)
While misandry is dangerous in certain contexts (black men/other men of color. Usually at intersections of other oppression) the misandry towards men in her life vs her bold misogyny just can't even be matched really. Again, expecting women to be mind readers (which is a common issue many of my cis and trans women friends have reported and something I recall a lot more pre-transition) and berating them in her mind for not understanding that they're talking to someone with prior awful experiences really just doesn't add up to me as reasonable and I think the essay kinda contradicts itself because of that. She simultaneously wants to be seen and understood as a woman, but treats the women she speaks to as if they know nothing about her life because they were not raised like her. Even while lounging to have a normal girlhood and upbringing, she still continues to bash on the people that you would hope she'd want to take advice and input from, really. She wants to defend against misandry but can't even stop perpetuating misogyny herself.
Yup. The men in the essay have interiority and she clearly views them as, y’know, fully formed human beings while the women she talks about are just mean catty feminists who could not possibly have a motivation outside of making her feel sad
Oh just so you know, the event at a local art museum where Murry Foust’s art was also sold was going to have a few drag performers (its a monthly event so themes get planned ahead of time and it was already going to be queer night afaik) but because of his death they cancelled those performances obviously and were trying to keep the night a little more somber and people are up in fucking arms about not getting to watch someone lip sync to Lady Gaga a week after one of us was found dead on the side of the road
i used to hear a lot of "you're not really a man, you just hate how women are treated" directed at trans men, and lately i've been hearing a lot of "if you don't like how women are treated, you're probably not actually a woman" directed at women, and i've gotta say i'm not a fan of either of these.
People who are going to be assholes have GOT to stop posting about incest and diapers and catgirls and mommy and puppies it is just too fucking easy at this point. Make it INTERESTING at least god you people are derivative
Some people very clearly spent their entire adolescence masturbating and refusing to shower and instead of growing up and getting a hobby they decide that they’re actually countercultural and subversive and oppressed for liking step sister porn. You’re not fucking interesting lmao you’re literally an average pornhub viewer but you put a collar and a fake tail on it. And telling them this pisses them off *so* bad it’s hilarious like try talking to some pro-pedo freak about Epstein and they short circuit their walnut brains aren’t equipped to handle the fact that they’re not cool or edgy they’re just perverts that make family events uncomfortable. They’re derivative they’re classless they’re fundamentally uninteresting as a human being so they have to make up for the lack of personality by posting alone in a dark room that smells like B.O. and ejaculate about being oppressed for liking to wear diapers.
People who are going to be assholes have GOT to stop posting about incest and diapers and catgirls and mommy and puppies it is just too fucking easy at this point. Make it INTERESTING at least god you people are derivative
I've seen a few people claiming that trans men talking about being forcibly impregnated is just a means to weaponize our anatomy against people who can't get pregnant. This framing is honestly vile.
They ignore the fact that not everyone with a fertile uterus and ovaries, regardless of gender, wants to get pregnant and give birth. They ignore the fact that a lot of us live in places where abortion is difficult, if not impossible, to access. They ignore the fact that pregnancy permanently alters a person's body, and that it can be lethal.
I've even seen some try to point out that some trans men/mascs intentionally get pregnant and give birth as some sort of "gotcha," but those guys are just as capable of making their own choices as the rest of us. The existence of men who choose to carry children does not invalidate those of us who are unwilling.
If you can't get pregnant even though you want to, that does genuinely suck. I can see how it would hurt and make you angry. But that doesn't even come close to being forced to sacrifice the wellbeing and autonomy of your body to incibate a fetus, and you really can't pretend that it's anywhere near the same situation. It doesn't give you the go-ahead to treat people like shit for their anatomy while you accuse them of weaponizing it for just talking about our thoughts and experiences.
im glad to see that article finally getting the hate it deserves. she pleads for people to see her as a complex person with a big and complicated inner world instead of making assumptions based off of her appearance, but fails to extend that courtesy to cis women, who she just writes off as privileged and vapid and ignorant. it's mra bullshit through and through
She never even takes a moment to consider that maybe all of the cis women she’s talking to live in a world where a lot of cis men suck and instead takes it as a personal insult that a cis woman might take pride in her identity and be angry at the group that oppresses her
She’s pissed that cis women say boobs are awesome and calls it sexist. You can’t make this shit up.
