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loveridden1999

everything is that deep to me because i have this big empty hole in my heart

Girlll it takes me so much time to properly cook a scene i feel like I'll never get to the end of it, which is like okay bc i love writing the most, but i also want to see it in its entirety

kasira-rr

Top 5 tragedies of the human condition

5. You were born in a bloodbath world, you evolved for violence because that is what it takes to survive, yet somehow you also developed the ability to feel disgust over your own impulses.

4. You are stuck in a decaying organism that has needs, desires, vulnerabilities, that can fail any time in horrific ways, you will die someday.

3. You were born in material conditions you didn’t choose, you were assigned an identity, a body, a flag, it was all random, did you win the lottery, or did you loose? Your whole life is now determined by your biology and environment.

2. Nobody knows what’s going on, not your parents, not their parents, not the priests not the scientists, all we have is guesses and theories based on what we can observe, but we’ll never see the full picture, we’ll never know the truth. You just follow the script you were given, and the ideology that soothes your existential dread the best.

1. The passage of time.

#the exact same things for me but in reverse order

Like i can't even properly explain what the thing we call romantic love really is, u either get it or u don't

#someday i will try to elaborate tho

The worst part of interacting with ppl is that i have to pay attention

#at least minimally

The worst part of working is that i have to pay attention

Sexual attraction is just boring, narratively speaking <- see this is why noone understands me

Damn ppl (women) are fr out here caring about shit like makeup and shaving and whatnot, like imma be real with u, that shit is too boring to even gaf about, and whoever does these beauty ritual things, get well soon and/or I'm happy for u whatevs

#only posting this bc there's a bunch of makeup etc disk horse on the dash

Even if i do dumb shit im still better than everyone else bc i had a deep, philosophical reason to do it, and put a lot of thought into it

#but you could also say that this makes me worse

entropymisanthropy

My female emotions are a weakness. I hate reading female characters with similar emotions. It makes me nauseated.

#i write philosophically tortured female characters and dgaf female characters #also side characters i care less about so they can be as emotional as they will

ceruleanheaven

studies reveal most people quit beating the dead horse just before it comes back to life. keep beating

Wanting to permanently rearrange your body and cognitive structure just so your retarded genes can live on is crazy tho

Maybe my irritation at my coworkers for interrupting my Obsidian use time is unwarranted BUT

#the whole world is conspiring against me to not let me write

credagraeves

How most people get their worldview, and being falsely accused by the police

I had a very upsetting experience recently. My mom was terminally ill, unable to care for herself, and I had to call the cops out because of an aggressive family member. The aggressive family member then complained to the cops that I am not caring for my mom. Which the cops took an issue with, despite that being none of their business, as I have no legal responsiblity to be my mother's carer. One of the cops just couldn't let it go - he brought it up over and over again. He was very upset. I didn't react to it at first because there is no point in arguing with them, just when they were going away, and again the cop said that children should care for their parents, I curiously asked: "why do you think that?" He replied: "Because that's the norm". He was this upset because of a view he literally has not thought about for a second. This philosophy of his just sat there, never examined, and he is taking it seriously. I have said to him, "I have an opinion too" and he replied with: "I am not interested in your opinion!". So, he is just happy with this unexamined belief, and is not even thinking about having an argument about it. And I should care about his opinion, for some reason. Long story short, the situation was insanely ironic and I still can't believe this happened to me: the cops falsely accused me with a false report, no doubt at least partly because of me having a different view to them. It quickly got dismissed in court because I had evidence that my report was correct and justified, but the cops genuinely tried to punish me for not sharing their view. My point, and the thing I have been thinking about lately: most people don't have a high need for cognition. They use logic when it is necessary, and then put it down as soon as possible. They use consensus and their feelings as the decider of what to think. And the maddening thing is that despite this, they hold their views in high regard. They should understand that you don't get to have your opinon matter if you have not thought about it for even a second. That opinion is literally worth zero. You should never communicate opinions like that, and obviously you should not try to enforce them.

I sometimes wonder if my ex mutuals recognise me

#i swear i won't delete again

nessieac

i finally mustered the courage to point out the existence of 💥MY ONLY PROBLEM™💥

#damn same #only that it was some days ago but yeah

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