fairy

ptsd, bpd, severe depression & anxiety (he/they)

[probablyboderline]

I feel so sick to my stomach i just want to relapse

[schizo-superpsycholove-deactiva]

[probablyboderline]

having a fp is one of the hardest things because at the slightest thing happening and feeling like they’re upset with me im either having a panic attack or close to it and begging and hoping they don’t leave me wanting to relapse from anger at myself

[perfumigate]

[blackcoffeeana-deactivated20211]

[probablyboderline]

why do you have to fucking do that why why why it hurts and that sounds so fucking selfish but god it fucking does.

[probablyboderline]

please just tell me you love me because even if i know it’ll never be as much as I love you i still need to hear it please just please

[probablyboderline]

jealousy jealousy jealousy it’s always fucking jealousy the one thing i hate feeling with everything in me

[probablyboderline]

it’s a constant battle between wanting to beg him to stay and also wanting to leave him before he can leave me but losing him in any way feels like ill end up lost and that’s what sucks the most

[probablyboderline]

would rather not trust anyone it just gives everyone the opportunity to hurt me one way or another if they choose to and they usually do

[probablyboderline]

my paranoia is so so fucking bad today

[probablyboderline]

how can i trust anyone when everything feels like it turns into lies and it almost always does eventually.

[probablyboderline]

the constant guilt everytime i talk about my feelings is so intense and tiring but at the same time i just want to yell and scream for someone to care and tell me that im enough but it’s something i can never ask for

[probablyboderline]

i hate how much i envy them and despise them just because of how close they were with my fp and the relationship they had and how i want to be them so much sometimes but feel like im so much better than them in every way at the same time