[heartbeatemoji]

there's literally never time to do anything. like you do something and finish it and then it's time to do another thing. how do we live like this

[genderedslurs-moving]

going to the fruit (derogatory) store do u want anything

[aheartofgold]

Four Seasons Total Landscaping Potter, you were named after the funniest thing I have ever seen,

[plumslices]

Can we have a day without like.....information

[snorlaxatives]

@ the water that drips down my arms when i wash my face and makes a big ass mess: fuckin fight me

[beevean]

reasons I’m still on this hellsite:

1) nowhere else I could find posts this specifically relatable

[bendy]

nothing more offensive than the list of group chats the tumblr algorithm thinks will interest me

[also-starring]

[wikilifeadvice]

limit pasta consumption

[breastforce]

blocked

[cottagecore]

oh to be a chunky orange farm cat 

[ribcageflutes]

I HAVE A CHUNKY ORANGE FARM CAT

his name is bathtub

[cottagecore]

oh i love bathtub

[remakesihavetoremake-deactivate]

Bandersnatch sounds like British slang for pussy

[potstickersandpizza]

and yet “family-friendly” disney still hired him to play doctor strange. what a disgrace

[dykebisclavret]

this post is like getting smacked in the face twice

[vikingfighter-deactivated201909]

When someone uses an abbreviation and I have to look it up

[localrose-deactivated20170126]

my sister’s great dane doesn’t fit into store-size doggy clothes so someone custom made flannel pj’s for her and now i’m crying

[localrose-deactivated20170126]

an update: they are Good Pajamas

[fat-mabari]

This is why I keep my tumblr account folks. This content right here.

[mabylc]

me: not today, satan 

satan: you’ve been canceling our plans for weeks now. if it’s something i said, please just tell me

[cerastes]

When you hit your elbow against something, but that specific point of your elbow

[comfortable-scarecrow]

it’s…called your funny bone…

[themysticdreambouquet-blog]

that gif tho 

[recoil-operated-deactivated2021]

It’s not a bone actually- it’s a nerve that is exposed, specifically the ulnar nerve. The reason it feels so weird to hit it is that it’s not designed to deliver pain signals, so when you hit it it just wiggs out and sends Garbage signals to the brain, and the brain is just like “uh, dude- Ulnar, what the hell is this garbage?? You’re supposed to curl a finger and a half, and move some muscles in the forearm, why are you sending me this crap? How am I supposed to make this into sensory output?” And the Ulnar nerve is just like “dude dude dude, brain- what the hell is going on?!?” And the brain goes- “idiot. Fine. You’re on fire, freezing and being electrocuted. Happy?” And the Ulnar goes “holy crap brain!! I’m on fire, freezing and being electrocuted! What am I going to do!!??!” And the brain says “you’re an idiot ulnar. A damn idiot.”

[terrible-tentacle-theatre]

This is how human anatomy should be taught

[mimikyu-chwan]

reblogging your own posts because they didn’t get enough notes:

[may]

someone else: *makes a mistake*

me: don't worry buddy! it is not a big deal! we can fix this! we'll figure it out!!

me: *makes a mistake*

me: i am irredeemable worthless garbage and i want to die

[chrissongzzz]

[nitemvres]

For real! Run away!!