i don't ever want that problem to ever go away

becca | she/her | big fan of putting canada's shane hollander and russia's ilya rozanov through the torture nexus

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

ilya comes back from therapy with galina like three months after this fight (of course it was a fight) and with the same candor as ashley padilla in the mom confession sketch goes i’m only going to say this once and i’m only going to say it if after i do you promise you will not react no talking no faces no nothing and shane’s on the couch reading like uh. what’s going on? and ilya goes what i have to tell you. Is that I think I was treated unfairly. By my mom. and of course shane makes a face and ilya is reacting like a wild fucking animal

[sugarkaanes]

IM GONNA THROW UP THE WAY SHANE TURNS HIS HEAD IN LOVE WHEN THEY NOSE BOOP UGH. UGHHH

[gaynehollander]

My Shane and Ilya are both incredibly possessive of one another and quick to jealousy but while Ilya gets jealous in a “everyone wants you but they can’t have you, you’re mine and I will delight in showing everyone what they’re missing out on” way, Shane gets jealous in a “I will burn this club down with both of us in it” way.

[aheartofgold]

Ilya really had to see Shane and Rose everywhere before Tampa. And because internet gossip doesn't bore itself with silly things like the truth I bet he saw all sorts of wild things that he had no choice (and no ability to see through his searing jealousy) but to believe.

Perez Hilton says a source close to Shane revealed that Rose is moving in with Shane so she has a more permanent base in Montreal? All Ilya can think about is how he will never see Shane's bed again now that she will live in it.

TMZ says Rose's best friends tell them that she has never been happier, that she introduced Shane to her brothers a week in and they were all spotted watching the Raiders-Admirals game at a sports bar. Ilya would never want Shane to meet his brother, couldn't think of anything worse, but that makes it hurt more.

#hollandry trends on twitter and Ilya comes across an edit of videos of Rose's characters searching for love across her movies, crying and wishing for romance. A quote from the third X Squad movie plays where she says "I just wish I could find someone who loves me for me, you know?" The whole thing is set to Hands to Myself by Selena Gomez and as she sings "I mean I could but why would I want to" they show picture after picture after video after picture of Shane holding Rose's hand, smiling at her, her kissing his cheek, cheering for him at a game. Ilya watches it about 15 times.

Some British magazine who had clearly never reported anything about Canadian ice hockey players before had a front page entirely dedicated to the supposed engagement of the pair, citing a personal friend of Shane's as the source. He apparently took her to his hometown to propose at his cottage and they celebrated with his parents. Ilya reads the article right before playing Ottawa (he scored a hat trick fuelled by the torment of this fake news).

He would just be stuck in perpetual desire to never see anything about them while constantly seeking out any information he can get. And even if he didn't go looking for it, his team mates talk about Hollander - who has never had a public relationship before - landing the most famous, most beautiful woman on the planet like it's the most incredible thing. Lamenting that they never got a chance with Rose while hailing Shane as some kind of king for dating her. It's on hockey news, on social media, he once stood behind a woman in a supermarket queue who was reading Shane/Rose fanfiction. It's inescapable for him.

[aheartofgold]

Ilya really had to see Shane and Rose everywhere before Tampa. And because internet gossip doesn't bore itself with silly things like the truth I bet he saw all sorts of wild things that he had no choice (and no ability to see through his searing jealousy) but to believe.

Perez Hilton says a source close to Shane revealed that Rose is moving in with Shane so she has a more permanent base in Montreal? All Ilya can think about is how he will never see Shane's bed again now that she will live in it.

TMZ says Rose's best friends tell them that she has never been happier, that she introduced Shane to her brothers a week in and they were all spotted watching the Raiders-Admirals game at a sports bar. Ilya would never want Shane to meet his brother, couldn't think of anything worse, but that makes it hurt more.

#hollandry trends on twitter and Ilya comes across an edit of videos of Rose's characters searching for love across her movies, crying and wishing for romance. A quote from the third X Squad movie plays where she says "I just wish I could find someone who loves me for me, you know?" The whole thing is set to Hands to Myself by Selena Gomez and as she sings "I mean I could but why would I want to" they show picture after picture after video after picture of Shane holding Rose's hand, smiling at her, her kissing his cheek, cheering for him at a game. Ilya watches it about 15 times.

Some British magazine who had clearly never reported anything about Canadian ice hockey players before had a front page entirely dedicated to the supposed engagement of the pair, citing a personal friend of Shane's as the source. He apparently took her to his hometown to propose at his cottage and they celebrated with his parents. Ilya reads the article right before playing Ottawa (he scored a hat trick fuelled by the torment of this fake news).

He would just be stuck in perpetual desire to never see anything about them while constantly seeking out any information he can get. And even if he didn't go looking for it, his team mates talk about Hollander - who has never had a public relationship before - landing the most famous, most beautiful woman on the planet like it's the most incredible thing. Lamenting that they never got a chance with Rose while hailing Shane as some kind of king for dating her. It's on hockey news, on social media, he once stood behind a woman in a supermarket queue who was reading Shane/Rose fanfiction. It's inescapable for him.

[twinkwolf]

i can’t stop thinking about ilya clubbing circa 2011. diesel jeans, shitty prada button up, hair absolutely CRISPY with gel. cliff marleau on his left tricked out head to toe in ed hardy. cloud of fucking paco robanne in the booth. cîroc with a sparkler sticking out of the neck. “this my fucking song, marly!” and it’s david guetta’s ‘where them girls at.’ he’s so drunk, he’s so loud, he’s got the drips, he’s spent $2300 in two hours. no one knows he’s gonna be gay married in ten years. i have to cry!

[aheartofgold]

I do think that Ilya fixated hard at their clasped hands when he saw these paparazzi photos. Just spiralling thoughts over and over

Why does she get to hold his hand in public but I could never even hold his hand in private?

Why does she get to parade him out for the world to see?

Why does she get to touch him in ways I've wished for but can never have after years of these unspoken rules of our relationship?

Why do I have to watch this relationship unfold on every screen, every magazine, every hockey game?

Why does she get everything I've ever wanted?

Why can't I hold his hand?

[shanehollandered]

the juxtaposition and parallel of the club scene between ilya and shane is so juicy to me.

like, it starts with them reacting identical: ilya sees miles and immediately looks for shane, the same way shane spots marleau and immediately knows ilya is there too. ilya also understands that if shane is here, he’ll be here with rose. shane knows that ilya will not be alone, he’s not a shy wallflower, he’s going to be with someone. they know this and this knowledge hurts and they’re still both helpless but to look for the other.

but where ilya puts on a show once he catches shane watching, shane can’t even bring himself to kiss rose back once he spots ilya in the crowd. he sees ilya with someone else (and a woman at that! because ilya can so effortlessly be with women! he enjoys being with women!) and his world slows down. he can’t take the distraction rose (unwittingly) offers, he can’t and he doesn’t even try to reciprocate. instead, he actually gets out of the situation: he gets away from rose, away from what he so desperately tries to cling to, to convince himself of, and puts himself back into ilya’s orbit.

there you have shane: stuck between what (who) he really wants and seeing a representation of what he should want, what he should be, unable to perform even for himself, looking on at ilya who, he thinks, is saying see, i can do this. you don’t want me? i don’t need you. you asked me if i could find another woman. look, i found one. i will always find one.

there you have ilya: stuck between what (who) he really wants and putting on a show for the world, for shane, because admitting hurt and showing vulnerability is not an option. it would hurt more than pretending that he’s okay like this. he needs to convince shane more than he needs to convince himself.

ultimately, shane tries so hard to prove a point to himself while ilya tries to prove a point to shane, and they both know they’re lying to themselves as realization dawns that they’re also lying to each other. but even given the opportunity for an out, one way or another, they’re both unable to take it. not at the club, not anywhere else.

[aheartofgold]

i caved and bought the april x premiere tickets btw

[aheartofgold]

You know you can just read the book and know why Shane went to Tampa... There is literally a line that says

"He wanted to see Rozanov this weekend. He wanted to be with him, alone, behind closed doors; he was tired of lying to himself about it."

So you're not making any philosophical point because Shane's thoughts have already been wrote down.

hi friend! welcome to tumblr, the place where we make philosophical points about things that have already written down! that's the purpose of this place :) i'm going to continue to do that i'm afraid, you are very welcome to not engage with it though!

[aheartofgold]

I heard a rumour that Canada's Shane Hollander and Russia's Ilya Rozanov might like each other. Might even love each other? That's word on the street, anyway

[hr-rep]

Do yall remember how crazy it was to watch HR episode 2 and have the sex fade out to more sex. I didn’t know we knew how to do that.

[aheartofgold]

Ilya thought he knew who Shane Hollander was. Boring, dependable, homebody Shane Hollander. The guy who prefers to read a book about Wayne Gretzky’s 1981-82 season than go on a night out with his team. The guy who drinks green smoothies over tequila shots. Who would rather run laps than dance in a club. He liked playing hockey, he liked spending his days with his family, he liked spending his nights with Ilya. He liked Ilya, at least Ilya had thought so.

It’s been four weeks since Ilya watched Shane walk out of his house (out of his life), and he is questioning if he ever knew Shane at all.

Shane - who decided not to join his team at the bar when he won his first Stanley Cup and messaged Ilya from his bed to say that he didn’t need a party to celebrate - met Rose Landry at a party. He went to a party and had a good enough time that he got a girlfriend out of it. He met her at a party. 

Shane is getting photographed by paparazzi on a regular basis, always with Rose. Always smiling, holding her delicate hands and wrapping his jacket round her shoulders. Ilya knows Shane has spent years perfecting how to not get papped, hasn’t been photographed in public without his previous knowledge since he was 21 and got a little too drunk celebrating his birthday. Shane was so embarrassed (and Ilya knows his mom was pretty unhappy with him for tarnishing his reputation) that he worked out how to avoid paparazzi.

Rose posts about Shane on Instagram a lot. Photos of them at dinner, boomerangs of her kissing his cheek, videos of them singing along to some top 40 song as they drive to a Metros game. Shane is always smiling, happy to be shown off in public like this. Shane has four posts on his own Instagram account. Three posts celebrating his Stanley Cup wins, and one at the premiere of Rose’s latest movie. 

Ilya watches Shane from a distance and wonders if the Shane he knew for years was a product of the secrets they kept together. Is this public property of a person who Shane has always hoped he would be? Had he craved the wild parties, rubbing shoulders with celebrities, showing off his beautiful girlfriend? But he’d been stuck at home because he feared that every drink he drank would loosen his lips and his grip on the secret of Ilya Rozanov? Had Ilya made Shane boring? Did he know who Shane was at all?

Inspired totally by @infernaleikon's post that made me think about this for like a week

[gloryhollanovjah]

Man I know Shane ruined Ilya's sleepover plans but he really made up for it in spades. I'm sorry I couldn't spend the night; please come to my house for two weeks. You bought me ginger ale; let me buy you Cokes and Doritos and water shoes. You made me a tuna melt; let me make you more burgers than we can eat. You asked me questions I didn't know how to answer; let me make sure you know I'm going to be as honest as I can. I'm sorry I got scared and ran away when you asked for more; let me stay up all night planning the rest of our lives.

[lonestatus]

personally my first guess as to how joker got his scars would be from smiling too big. but maybe that's my dreamer's heart

[kirkaut]

a post will have 500 notes and only 48 of them will be reblogs. i promise you that reblogging something will not ruin your aesthetic on this utterly swagless website.

[bugslibraryy]

Shane and Ilya kissing