Profoundly Loved

Even in the darkest of days we are profoundly loved!

[profoundly-loved]

The Christmas season can be one of joys and one of trials. Mental illness is more apparent because we think we should be happy, be better, be "fixed". Some Christmases suck, some are worse than others, and some are where you appreciate the trials you've endured. Some see you wearing this mask to cover up the hurt, pain, and how broken you actually feel. It's that conundrum of wanting to see people but fearing them finding out what lies behind the mask. And when you're in a crap mood you already don't want to be there and put on this fasad. It aches the longer it's there but you feel it's the best thing to do. Cause you don't want people to see how tough life is and how much life is wearing you down. But it's in the moment you can remove it, be real, and be who you are, the ugly tears, the foul words, let words pour our that may not make sense, and reciting that embrace and all that is what makes it beautiful. And during this season it's tough. But you don't have to have it all worked out, you don't have to have it together, you can be just you. And that's sometimes the greatest gift during the tough holiday season. A chance to be you and not be judged. A chance to seek and find that welcoming person or people who love, care, and understand you for you. There is beauty in brokenness because it's the honesty of our soul that is clear. An honest soul is more beautiful than the mask covering it. Be you, be your honest self, and be real with your emotions during this Christmas season.

[profoundly-loved]

Do you know?

Do you know what life is like behind this smile? It's genuine but do you know the battles I've faced to still smile each day? Do you know how much I dislike my body? Do you know the punishment it's endured? Do you know how much pain one endures to permanently maim their body with cuts and scars? Do you know what it's like to see blood dripping off your skin? Do you know I coped using anything sharp? Do you know I used it to avoid lashing out at others? Do you know for years I ate my pain away? Do you know the stress my body has endured? Do you know how much it's taken for my body to lose that weight? Do you know how many years I longed to be content with my body? Do you know how much I wish I finished school? Do you know the ruts I've been in? Do you know what it's like to awake after a nightmare of being abused? Do you know that it haunts your dreams? Do you know what it's like to not sleep for weeks on end? Do you know how hard it is to stay awake when you fear sleeping? Do you know how much I want sleep but fear the darkness? Do you know what it's like to sleep without pills for 8 hours, not wake up, and feel refreshed? I don't. Do you know what it's like to be sick because you haven't slept? Do you know what it's like to sleep but toss and turn and awake every hour? Do you know what it's like to be too medicated and unable to function correctly? Do you know what it's like to not know what home is? Do you know what it's like to move as a child? Do you know what it's like not knowing a place will be a place to call home? Do you know how much it makes one have the need to move around? Do you know the feeling of being settled is? I don't. Do you know what it's like to feel all alone? Do you known what it's like to be abandoned by those you love? Do you know what it's like to push people away because you've realized no friendship lasts forever? Do you know what it's like to see a best friend move and you have no one Do you know what it's like to lose all friends? Do you know what it's like when you feel that you're an alien for being this way? Do you know the pain loneliness is? Do you know how much you want someone there but fear they won't stay? Do you know how much the abuse and porn pushes any relationships away? Do you know the fear I have of someone leaving because they know all my thoughts, past, and insecurities? Do you know how many lies I've been told in my short life? Too many to count. Do you know that eventually I believed each one? Do you know how many lies my Mind tells me In a day? Do you know how tiring it is to tell truth? Do you know some days I can't fight the lies anymore? Do you know what it's like for your mind to turn against itself? Do you know how hard it is to see that? Do you what it's like to be sick but doctors find nothing wrong? Do you know what it's like when no one believes you? Do you know what it's like when your asking for help because you're about to end it and the doctor says your fine? Do you know how much I want help but don't get it? Do you know that when I ask for help I don't want to hear your lectures? Do you know I wish I could "just get over it" each and every day? Do you know that sometimes I need someone there to just be? Do you know what it's like when someone understands and loves you through it? I do and it's beautiful. Do you know I found that out while recovering my hospital? Do you know it came after I took every antidepressant I had? Do you know the irony of attempted suicide by antidepressants? Do you know the peace I had when wanted to die? Do you know the tears I cried because I knew the pain it would bring my family and best friends? Do you know their pain that winter night? Do you know the grace I found that night? Do you know I found love and hope once again? Do you know how thankful I am for those who are in my corner? Do you know I don't regret this life? Do you know how broken and exhausted I feel? Do you know that even in my brokenness I am being made beautiful? Do you know that depression doesn't Define me? Do you know that my story continues because I'm loved? Do you know that's why I cared when I ask how you're doing? That's what lies behind the smile because I emphasize and sympathize those who are struggling.

[recoverlovely-deactivated201804]

Its almost the end of 2015 and you are still here. Whatever you have been through this year I am so proud of you for being so strong. I’m so proud of you. 2016 will be a better year for you.

[twloha]

We’re proud of you too.

[profoundly-loved]

At the end of the day whether we have succeeded or failed, have it together, or are barely holding on, what matters is we are profoundly loved by at least someone in this world! By who we are is a reason for them to laugh, smile, learn, converse, and express emotions with. We are someone there for another person to pour love into us even when we feel unlovable. That's a love that profoundly impacts us to wake each day because they need us even when our minds tell us lies. Their love profoundly breaks through the darkness to give us a reason to smile, to laugh, to fight, and to press on no matter where we are in life.

[profoundly-loved]

Profoundly loved are two words that have stuck with me this past year. After a severe mental crises and couple days in hospital I was reminded of how loved I am. Friends brought me there, called home, took care of me, prayed for me, and overal reminded I am profoundly loved despite my failures and insecurities. I am profoundly loved by friends, family, the church family, and most of all the Son of God, Jesus Christ. Profoundly loved are two words that hold weight in my life which is why I want to let people know whether they are struggling, hanging in, scraping by, or doing good that no matter what they are profoundly loved. Anything said, done, unsaid, or not done does not define you, what defines you is that you are profoundly loved! It's knowing in our worst battles someone is there to fight with us and love us all the way through!

[profoundly-loved]

"I'm still on this road of healing and recovery. I haven't made it to full healing from depression and anxiety: I may never will. But that's okay. It's okay because right now I sit here in a much better place because I screamed for help even when it was almost too late. I'm alive today because of help, love, friends and family. It's those battles in the trenches to continue the story when you want to give up and the encouragement you get when you survive another day. It's knowing that in my own journey that healing and recovery comes from sharing the pain and darkness I've felt for so long. Showing that there is hope, brighter days ahead, love that exists, a God that loves us even in our brokenness, and that our stories can bring hope and words to those who don't know what to say. That's what recovery looks like. It's brutally humbling but it's knowing our stories can be used that will keep us going.

Braedon MacDonald

[profoundly-loved]

"You are loved, you are more than the struggles, you are more than how people treat you, you are more than marks, you are someone deserving of life! Deserving a life not of misery but of freakimg Joy, peace, hope, and love! Sometimes taking the first step is so agonizing, and sometimes we need to ask someone to help us get help. No matter how great the pain, anger, and frustration there is a chance to see that disappear, see the sun again as the fog and clouds roll away. Those small increments of light is what we will take to press on! You are more than what society defines you, you are more than the circles you're in, you are profoundly loved more than anything!"

Braedon MacDonald

[profoundly-loved]

The days where it seems the darkness recedes and light shines gives a glimmer of hope. Hope that will stay with us when the darkness seems suffocating to hope for a better and brighter day. That hope will carry us through to fight in the darkness so our reward is the light even just a few minutes.

Braedon MacDonald

[profoundly-loved]

The world is stricken this thing called pain. No matter how far or fast we run it will catch up to us. Pain is something that reminds us we are alive when we feel nothing at all. Pain is raw and can be unbearable which is why we need others. Their love can ease and heal the pain when we cannot do it on our own any longer. Healing can come it may be slow and frustrating or it can happen quickly. But it is in those unbearable days where one person can love us enough to take the sting of pain away and bear the burden with us.

Braedon MacDonald

[profoundly-loved]

It is in the darkness where we need people. Their love is the light when we cannot see. It shows we are profoundly loved even amid the darkest of days. Love is light, light is hope, and hope is to love others to show there are brighter days ahead.

Braedon MacDonald

[quotethat]

You’ll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things.

Jamie Tworkowski (via quotethat)