lukas @profoundnutheart - Tumblr Blog

thinking about t4t chreon tonight

#by tonight i mean at 3 am #actually i think about t4t chreon most days #i love both the t4t chreon hc and the 'leon is trans and chris is his very supportive cis bf' hc #however i love t4t chreon just a tad bit more

i actually fucking hate being pre-t because I feel like shit. I can't even put myself on a dating app rn in order to find other trans people even though I desperately want to because I'm extremely dysphoric and I won't be able to put myself out there until I stop feeling like this

#everyone ik is like u should try this dating app! and idk how to tell them that it's gonna have to wait at least another 6-7 months #like most of the changes i want from T aren't until around the 6 month mark and I'm going on T in about a month #god i cant wait #I'm so fucking ready to go on t #also. I'm like the most awkward texter ever. how the fuck am i gonna get people to like me if I'm such an awkward texter #how do dating apps even work. do u just go 'let's go out sometime!' and then do that and see if u hit it off‚ or?

i don't know how to explain but i really fucking hate how long it took me to realize that i was a trans man. like. deep down i always knew but i was so afraid of being perceived as the "bad guy" that i ignored my feelings for years in hopes that i'd just. suddenly stop feeling like a guy eventually

#and people around me saying shit like 'why would you choose to be a man?' definitely didn't help #either that or they made me feel like I'd never be 'man enough' so i just pushed my feelings down further #does this make sense?

being trans is actually really nice when you don't have a transphobic asshole in your ear telling you that you're "mutilated" and will live "a lifetime of misery" for transitioning!

#i don't hate being trans‚ i hate how i'm treated because i happen to be trans in a cisnormative society #i'm not poisoning my body by going on T. i'm not going to die early from going on T. i'm not mutilated for getting top surgery.#and there's nothing wrong with any kind of bottom surgery‚ either.#it's not gross‚ weird‚ or disgusting.#and non-op + pre-op trans people are just as valid as any other trans person.#so are trans people who are pre-t‚ pre-e‚ or just don't want to go on hormones.

thought tumblr added pop up ads but I've apparently just gotten a virus on my phone. great!

#i was scrolling on here when this happened so thats why i thought tumblr added pop up ads #i've removed it now so we're good

I've accidentally wandered into the transphobic side of tumblr. how do I get off of it. it's all over my damn for you tab

#My for you tab is just a bunch of t3.rfs now. god help me #like i'd rather not see a bunch of assholes debating on whether or not trans people are valid..#i hear enough of this shit irl i dont need it shoved in my face online too

why the fuck do all the transphobes in my life know like 50 different trans people. WHERE ARE YOU FINDING ALL THESE PEOPLE. SEND THEM TO ME!!!

#you dont deserve to know any of them!!#that should be ME!!!

honestly, I don't understand why i see some people say T makes you "gross and hairy" (in a bad way). I can't wait to see how it makes me look when I finally start T. I especially love the hair, I'm so excited for that change specifically. I can't wait to finally be comfortable in my own skin

#i'm going to my T appointment in a little over 1 month and i'm so fucking excited #okay correction: a little less than two months. it's closer to the 2 month mark than the one month mark. so close yet so far #i cant wait for the changes to start happening once i finally get on T #i think the hair is attractive‚ too. idk how to explain. it just looks very nice. plus it's hot #hoping my state doesnt suddenly pass any anti trans bills while i wait because unfortunately i live in a very conservative state.#anyways.#i love body hair #it's so goddamn attractive

If I have to see ONE MORE "trans men are just confused autistic girls!!" take i am going to SNAP. Shut the actual fuck up. I highly doubt ANY of you people pushing that narrative are autistic

#saying this an autistic person! we are not helpless! we are capable of making our own decisions!#shut the fuck up!!!

Being autistic is so fucking odd. Why the fuck do I have to take breaks from looking at literal images?? If I don't do that, I'll get too excited and it'll overwhelm me & then I'll get upset

#i can't figure out where to put this so im putting it in the tags:#i specifically mean looking at images of my favorite characters #i'm so cringe

being trans is so strange because I'll get an ad that's like "men are more likely to have dandruff" and go "hell yeah"

#why does this happen to me #like. i never would've imagined I'd be getting gender euphoria over fucking DANDRUFF. i hate dandruff 99% of the time

Nintendo is actually such a coward for not making sheik canonically trans

#they wouldve been such great casual (?) rep‚ im never forgiving nintendo for this #'sheik is just zelda in another outfit' no. hes not. i know him better than you!!#t4t sheik/link !!

do people like. not know how socialism works?? “people won't work if they get shelter, food, water, and clothes for free!” i still have hobbies???

#my art supplies are not gonna buy themselves

wish more mainstream games/shows had trans rep but that's probably not gonna happen for awhile because it's 'controversial' to have trans rep

#and then when we DO get rep / trans coded characters everyone's like 'no theyre not trans!!'#either that or the character just isnt very likeable/memorable imo #or theyre just a side character that gets 5 seconds of screentime and then is not even mentioned afterwards

i feel like klavier is one of those characters where any trans hc makes sense

#hes just all and nothing at the same time #transmasc klavier ? so true. transfem ? also very valid and real!! nonbinary ? absolutely. All of them just make so much sense

sometimes i forget that certain characters are canonically cis. Wdym Apollo Justice isn't a trans man??

#hes the most transmasc character ever #he and kaveh are the most transgender characters ever

being good at something you don't even do often is such a curse. Why am I good at writing?? I rarely ever write!!

#i typed wright at first #autism #(referring to ace attorney thats why autism is tagged)#must be because of all the years i spent roleplaying

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