orbis

Let out your thoughts but control it in a way that the bad ones come out and become good ones and the good ones come out to inspire.

[love-diaries]

“To the ones who still believe in dreams: Chase them. Chase them until you’re out of breath. Then, keep running.” - Unknown

[studylikeknope]

all of you

[profoundsweetsobservation]

I remember the night my friends started thinking you liked me. And the days following that. When we would start finding excuses to spend time together.I remember you confessing that you liked me and me reciprocating that feeling. I remember waiting for four days from word from you. But nothing. And seeing that I got unfriended. And asking you about it. I remember that that’s when you stopped putting on an effort. I remember that we wanted different things. I remember you ignoring me and me trying to reach out every time. And once more. And once more. All in vain I guess. I remember feeling you lose interest. I didn’t wanna fight it. After all, it was just a matter of time before you did- that’s what people who were in it just for the fun did. I remember spending a week trying to psyche up the courage to let you know that I wasn’t down with that kind of treatment. And I tried to reach out again. but I guess my hands were too short. I remember thinking I was tired. Of being the one who reached out every single time. I remember resigning. I remember being tired. I’m tired.

[profoundsweetsobservation]

He’s just not that into you.

LOL

[thepersonalquotes]

[poemswords]

[profoundsweetsobservation]

You can’t ignore pain like this. Primarily because you can’t explain it yourself.

Why are you sad? Why are you stuck? Why are you smiling and laughing when your head is just screaming out obscenities at you, at who you are, at everything you have ever done and at everyone you have ever loved?

You can only acknowledge it. And take the baby steps you took the last time so you can get back. 

The worst thing you can do is ignore it and try to numb it down to nothing more than the ‘blues’. Because feeling nothing only means that you’re letting all that hurt fester. And festering wounds get infected. And infections affect your daily routines.

The food you used to love now becomes tasteless. The music you couldn’t stop dancing to now becomes white static noise. The things that made you laugh before now just makes you sad. The movies that let you feel  now seems all frivolous. You start hating things you loved. And you just can’t seem to explain why.

Feel the sadness. Feel it and let it go. 

[profoundsweetsobservation]

I can’t believe I’m here again. Stuck again. Back at square one again. Doubting intentions. Again.

I thought once I explained what the last one did. I thought you were paying attention. I thought you would care enough to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Or at least that it won’t come from you. Not you too.

But it has. My God it has. This silence. This void. It started like this with him you know. The only thing is, last time I was stupid enough to wait an entire month.

With the second one, I waited an entire fortnight. Oh you didn’t know about the second one? Would it have made a difference?

Shall I give you the same time periods? Shall I set a timer for you that is a little bit longer? 

Shall I read up on every post, every explanation on why you are not messaging as constantly as you used to? Not responding as you used to? Not even online as you used to?

I told you I don’t play games. And this. This right here feels like one. So I’m out.

Find another bitch to play with.

[profoundsweetsobservation]

So I relapsed this last week. 

Went back into that hole of self-doubt and negative voices and negative thoughts and all things negative. I made a bad decision and it got worse from there and I couldn’t stop myself and now I feel stuck somewhere between the bayous and blues. 

I’ve prayed countless prayers even while doubting that I deserve what I’m praying for. I’m realizing that keeping busy is my therapy. But being busy doesn’t necessarily mean that the voices are silenced...they’re just less louder. And I have yet to figure out a way to make sure that my productivity does not influence the way I view myself as a human being because the moment I feel less productive or I’m performing less than what I know I am capable of, the thoughts- the thoughts get louder. T

his week, it got particularly paralyzing. Maybe because I wasn’t doing all that I could. Maybe because I felt left out. Maybe even more so because of the bad decision. Idk. But I’m here. And every night this week, I’ve been dreaming dreams that lull me into this illusion that I’m okay and I struggle to wake up because I know I’m not okay and I don’t want to stay in a dream where I am- because it is just a dream....

I finally thought today...after 3 prayer session...that it would be better for me to write what I was/have been/am feeling for the past few days. Maybe in identifying it, I will be a step closer into addressing it in the healthy ways that I have managed to so far.

I know I can get out of this crevice. I have done so before. And I can do it again now.

[thepowerwithin]

“Sometimes you have to run into the storm in order to calm it.”

— Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin

[profoundsweetsobservation]

Yeah breaking up hurts but have you ever had to watch your crush fall in love, make out and start posting about another girl then having to congratulate him while you're bawling your eyes out coz really you just want him to be happy? Even if it's not with you?

[profoundsweetsobservation]

I'm just looking forward to the day

When your name doesnt make me this excited anymore

Coz it hurt so much more after

[profoundsweetsobservation]

I would free my time for you. That was my mistake. Because you would only talk to me in your free time.

[profoundsweetsobservation]

But what am I supposed to do now

When my heart's decided that it wants you

And only you?

[profoundsweetsobservation]

[profoundsweetsobservation]

[profoundsweetsobservation]

Flicker💡❇ https://www.instagram.com/p/BuTu7UeHxxcHk_q3KDzCLHpxLPriCOUPxeP-D00/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11v5kek2abta2