Hornet

Oregon Theorist

[profundomarazul]

Log 8. Date Oct. 16, 2020

It’s been almost 5 months since I’ve last posted.

Something truly strange has occurred, stranger than any cryptid or creature I’ve ever found. It’s the lack of creatures. I haven’t found a single one, no matter how hard I search or how lost I get, I find nothing. And nothing finds me. I’ve even left my trash cans open at night for night crawlers, but I hear no rummaging. I had to rely on my phone’s GPS to get me out of the woods after I had gotten myself lost, because The Deer hadn’t come to retrieve me from the woods. I swear, these creatures are real... But where have they gone?

Signed, Hornet.

I seem to be alone in Oregon.

[profundomarazul]

Log 7. Date may 20, 2020

I like the birch trees. 

There are a lot of birch forests in Oregon, they’re peaceful. Usually well lit in patchy sunlight, with plenty of wilderness. I came across the creature I’ll be discussing today on a regular walk through one of my favorite birch forests, simply foraging for bones and other abandoned items. I looked up from the forest floor, and I was met by a large stag about 15 feet away from me, just staring at me. The strange thing about this stag, was that it was made entirely of birch wood. It almost blended right in with the trees. We stood there for a moment, just staring at each other, and then the stag began walking away from me. Looking back at me as if it was expecting me to follow. So I did. I followed the stag for a solid 10 minutes, before all of a sudden, three fawns jumped out of nowhere to join the stag. And then, before I could process what happened, the group of deer seemingly shifted into... Trees. I stopped in my tracks, looking around for where the deer may have gone, but there was no trace of them. The birch deer turned into the trees. These creatures are by far my favorite cryptid that I’ve encountered. They seem to be common in the birch forests here, gentle too. It’s interesting knowing that the birch forests are alive. 

Signed, Hornet.

You are never alone in Oregon.

[profundomarazul]

Log 6. Date May 19, 2020

Candle lit paths aren’t aesthetic. 

You may find those pictures of candle lit paths all over Pintrest beautiful and “Aesthetic”, but in reality, they’re fucking terrifying. I came across this miraculous occurrence during one of my regular walks through the forest. It was getting dark, so I began heading back to the path I wander down. And then I stumble across two candles, framing an archway of willow trees. The end of the pathway was too dark to see, despite the faint glow of the candles, seemingly going on forever. So as one would, I followed the trail. Just as I thought it was leading no where, I ended up in a clearing I had never seen before. Surrounded in dense trees and trailing blackberry. The only exit was the path behind me. To this day, I’m so glad I stayed in the frame of the pathway. Right before I took a step out into the clearing, this mammoth of a creature emerged from the forest. Deathly frail, practically just skin and bones. It had the face of a man, but the teeth of a wolf. It’s body was a horrible amalgamation of twisted, broken bones. Knees bent backwards, arms with more joints than I was comfortable seeing in an arm. The creature’s piercing gaze nearly made me stop dead in my tracks. I could tell it didn’t have good intentions. As soon as I had gotten a good look at it, I bolted back down the path of candles. Soon enough, I tumbled back out where I had came. When I looked back, the path was gone, and only one candle remained. After that, I hastily made my way home, and never returned to that section of the forest. I have yet to name this cryptid. I’m taking suggestions on it’s name. But the moral of the story? Willow tree paths and candles are not to be trusted.

Signed, Hornet.

You are never alone in Oregon.

[profundomarazul]

Log 5. Date May 18, 2020

I hate raccoons. 

I encountered this cryptid in the most unlikely of places. My trashcan. I have cameras set up all around my house, as I live near the woods, and you can never be too safe. As I was going through my footage, I noticed something tall and ghostly white wandering past my trash cans. This creature is called a Night Crawler. Though I’m not the first to find one of these creatures, I’m one of the few. The following night, I went out with my flashlight and bat in hand. I was and still am unsure if these creatures are dangerous. As soon as I reached my trashcans, I found a night crawler digging through my trash with it’s long, veiny legs. Like a raccoon. Before I was able to say a word, or even snap a photo of it, it was off into the forest. I’ve never seen one since. But I’ve set up many more cameras around my trashcans. A word of advice, don’t go searching for night crawlers. We know little about them, too little. 

Signed, Hornet.

You are never alone in Oregon.

(A photo of a night crawler I was able to find.)

[profundomarazul]

Log 4. Date May 17, 2020

Moss is abundant in Oregon.

The fact I even know about this creature shocks me, because so far, it’s the rarest one I’ve encountered. Not the most powerful or dangerous, no, but the rarest. This creature is named Caonach, it’s the first cryptid to name itself. Imagine if bigfoot was made of stone, and covered head to toe in thick moss, that’s the form this creature takes. The Caonach is depicted as this horrifying creature of the wilderness, but in fact, it’s just curious. It has a history of chasing campers, simply because it was interested in what they were doing. I’m unsure of the Caonach’s diet, if it even eats. But I do know that it has the ability of speech. I sat down with this cryptid for two hours, just discussing with it. From what he told me, there are only so many of his kind left, less than a hundred. The Caonach is old, older than most of Oregon’s forests, but wise. It knows more about the forest than I could ever dream to. I hope I stumble across it again some day. 

Signed, Hornet. 

You are never alone in Oregon.

(A picture I got of the Caonach, who goes by Ozus.)

[profundomarazul]

Log 3. Date May 16, 2020

The gentle giant. (No, not bigfoot.) 

Due to it’s name, you’d think this creature would be easy to spot. But no, these creatures are exceptional at hiding. I call this cryptid Kindling. Kindling is part of Oregon’s forests. And to my knowledge, there’s more than one out there. There’s hundreds of them, scattered throughout the woods. The form this cryptid takes is an interesting one, one of sticks and leaves. It’s about 12ft tall, with two sets of arms that go down to it’s ankles. It has large branches sprouting from it’s head like horns, these horns are covered in leaves. They have no face, but somehow display emotion anyways. If you manage to stumble across one, do not fear. It will either run before you can react, or it will stay and watch you. Kindlings are curious creatures, and they love attention. In my experience with a kindling, it seemed quite happy to sit with me and be studied. They appreciate shiny objects as well, much like crows. I believe these creatures are guardians of some sort, but I’m unsure. Before you leave a kindling, make sure you give it an offering. A drawing of them will suffice. They’ll always point you in the right direction afterwards. 

Signed, Hornet. 

You are never alone in Oregon.

[profundomarazul]

Log 2. Date May 15, 2020

My encounter with The Deer.

Not all the cryptid creatures in Oregon are violent. One of these more gentle creatures are things I like to call The Deer. How creative of me. 

These creatures look similar to deer, obviously. Or they wouldn’t be named The Deer. These monstrosities have 6 glowing eyes in total, and abnormally sharp antlers. Unlike normal deer, these creatures are carnivores, but worry not, they don’t have a taste for humans. In fact, The Deer aim to protect humans, and usually only appear if you’ve gotten lost in their woods. If you find yourself among a herd of these monsters, know that you’re safe. But be aware, if the herd hadn’t found you, your situation could have turned grim. I’m unsure why The Deer protect humans, what their motive is. But I do know that they should be respected. Always say thank you once they lead you out of the forest, they appreciate it. 

Signed, Hornet. 

You are never alone in Oregon.

[profundomarazul]

Log 1. Date May 14, 2020

I’ve lived in Oregon my whole life. Have you ever heard that saying, “Keep Oregon weird?” Those people don’t realize that Oregon’s always been weird. Out of the ordinary, you might say. Weird things happen here, things I have no explanation for. The forests are full of creatures I haven’t got a name for, the streets are wandered by unsuspecting people. 

Signed, Hornet.

You are never alone in Oregon.