Progressive Motherhood

• She/Her •Endless living. •My children and my relationship with them. •My husband and our relationship. •Buddhist

[progressivemother]

Healing From Our Past

So five days a week of therapy. That is where I am right now.

Three days a week I have group therapy for three hours. Two days a week I have individual therapy. It is all virtual because I am a housewife and it is summer and honestly, where else would I go. I do it from my bedroom, or sometimes the kitchen table if I need to be near the coffee pot. The kids are here. They see the headphones go on. They see the door close. They see me come out afterward looking exhausted.

Group therapy is heavy. Every week has a theme. One week we did boundaries, which for me is basically learning that no is a full sentence and I do not have to apologize for having limits. Another week we did triggers, like when your body flips into panic mode before your brain even knows what is happening. We have done shame. We have done coping skills. We have done the stories you tell yourself about who you are based on what happened when you were little. Unlearning that stuff takes so much energy.

There is also this new study from Duke University for PTSD that they are telling us about and it sounds pretty cool actually. They are looking at how certain treatments can help reprocess traumatic memories in a way that makes them less overwhelming. I do not understand all the science but the idea is that your brain can actually learn to file those memories differently so they do not hijack you all the time. It is not about erasing what happened. It is about changing how your body and mind react to it. I really hope it can help us too. I feel like I will try anything at this point if it means getting better.

Because I need to get better. Not just for me.

I moved out at seventeen and married at eighteen. I did not really know what I was doing. I just knew I had to get away from my family. That was the whole goal. I did not actually want to be a wife. I do not think I actually wanted kids, not really. I just wanted out. I wanted to survive. And I got lucky, I really did, because I found a man who is loving and kind and not abusive. He is good to me. He is a good dad. But I was so young. I only had a small college education in a medical field that I did not love. I did it because it seemed like what I was supposed to do. And now I am a housewife who cannot keep a job outside the house because of my mental illness.

Sometimes I sit with that and it is a lot.

I look at my life and I realize I never really got to live. Not the way I might have chosen if I had been choosing from a place of peace instead of a place of trauma. And now I am in my thirties and I am just now figuring out who I actually am and what I actually want.

But here is the thing. I do not regret my husband. I do not regret my kids. I love them. And I am realizing now that maybe I can still live, like really live, but this time with them. I can build a life I actually want while I am with the people I actually love. It does not have to be either or.

I want to go to college for English and creative writing. I want to be an author. I want to do journalism, maybe travel and meet people from around the world and write about their cultures and their stories. If I could find a job that let me do that and take my family along, I would be so in love with that life. I want to see things. I want to learn things. I want to write things that matter.

And I know the world I am stepping into is not the same one I grew up in. AI is everywhere now. It is changing how people write, how people work, how people think about creativity. I have mixed feelings about it honestly. Part of me worries it will make my degree obsolete before I even finish it. Part of me feels like it is cheating somehow, like using it means you are not a real writer. But I also know it is not going away. Our kids are going to grow up with it the same way we grew up with the internet or smartphones. It will just be part of how things work. So I think the answer is not to pretend it does not exist or to be afraid of it. The answer is to learn how to use it thoughtfully when the time comes. We are all going to have to adapt, and the more we understand it, the better we can work with it instead of against it.

I want my kids to see me figuring this out.

I want them to see that I am trying. That therapy is hard and my brain feels foggy afterward and sometimes dinner is just ramen with frozen vegetables thrown in because that is what I have got. I want them to see that getting help is normal. That moms go to therapy. That women with PTSD and childhood trauma are still allowed to want more for themselves.

I want them to know that mental illness does not mean your life is over. That you can still chase dreams. That you can still change your mind about who you are and what you want. That the world keeps changing and that is okay, we can learn and adapt without losing ourselves.

I do not want to be perfect for them. That isn't possible.

I want them to see a mother who is tired but still trying. Who got help. Who finally, after all these years, is learning how to live.

And maybe if they see that, they will know they can do it too. Nothing can stop them.

[progressivemother]

The Quiet Strength You Don’t See in Military Marriages

He’s been deployed since October, and at this point it feels like our normal life.

There wasn’t a huge emotional unraveling when he left. Of course we miss him, but we adjusted quickly. We set a strict budget, figured out our schedules, and committed to talking every single day. Not long dramatic calls. Just consistent ones. We talk about the kids, what broke that day, what we ate, what is coming up that week. It feels steady and familiar.

I handle everything at home. The bills, the kids, the pets, the school schedules. I always have, so that part did not change much. The house still runs the way it always has. What changed is the physical absence. The small shared responsibilities that used to feel automatic.

The trash is mine now. The weeds too. Oil changes used to be his thing, and now I schedule them and sit in the waiting room alone. It is not overwhelming. It just reminds me he is not here. When something breaks, I video call him and hold the phone up so he can see what I am looking at. Sometimes he can walk me through it. Sometimes I end up calling someone anyway. Either way, we figure it out.

I send him practical things when he needs them. A new phone case. Sunscreen. Small items he realizes he forgot. It is not romantic, but it is caring. It is how we take care of each other right now.

We are both very faithful and very committed. That has never been shaky. We trust each other. We stay in contact. There is a calmness between us that I am grateful for. It does not feel dramatic. It feels disciplined and intentional.

The kids have handled it better than most people would expect. They are calm. Sometimes they say they miss him. Sometimes they draw him pictures or send him videos of what they are doing. Then they move on with their day. They are not overly emotional, but they are aware he is gone.

Our family routine is mostly the same, with small changes because they are growing up. My son is almost a teenager and now showers in the morning instead of at night. My daughter is learning how to take better care of her skin, and so is my son. Sunscreen, lotion, healthier food. Those things have always mattered in our house, but the conversations are a little more detailed now. They are learning how to take care of their bodies in new ways.

He is missing a year of them growing. That part is hard to think about. Kids change quickly at this age. But he is in a non combat location, and we are allowed to visit him on base in June. He will be home in July. Having those dates helps. It makes this feel temporary instead of open ended.

We are not falling apart. We are not overly emotional. We are simply doing what needs to be done while staying connected to each other.

It is not flashy strength. But it is real.

[progressivemother]

As Parents, We Should Allow Our Children to Express Themselves

I’ve always allowed my kids to have a say in their clothing, and honestly I think more parents should understand why that matters.

My son has pretty much stayed consistent in what he likes since he started choosing his own clothes around age 3. Jeans, a T-shirt, basically what his dad wears, sometimes shorts.

My daughter has changed a lot more over the years. When she was little she loved princess dresses, pink clothes, and frilly things. Around 9 she went through a more hippie style phase with crop tops and skirts. Now she prefers what people call “boy clothes” like army style pants and loose shirts.

When she wore hippie clothing, some adults sexualized her. Now that her choices are considered “boyish,” she faces a different type of judgment. It’s all sad, but I let her make her decisions no matter what. I explain that what others think doesn’t matter and never will. Humanity can be cruel and unfair without reason. She even had a conversation with teachers at school who told her a dress showing her shoulders was sexual. She calmly told them that her shoulders aren’t sexual and that it isn’t her problem, it’s theirs. She is eleven.

Kids expressing themselves through clothing is not about sexualization. If a child wears something because they likes it, they're practicing autonomy, comfort, and self-expression. The real issue isn’t the child or the parent. The problem is adults who impose a sexual lens on innocent choices. The problem also includes parents, often other moms, who criticize mothers for letting their children explore their identity. That criticism itself is harmful and unnecessary.

Kids should be able to express themselves without people labeling them or sexualizing them. If a girl wears a crop top because she likes it, that does not mean she is trying to be sexual. She’s a child wearing clothes she feels comfortable in.

Sexualizing girls at a young age is a serious issue, and it’s something many deal with well into adulthood. I didn’t actually start dressing how I wanted until my 20s. Even though my mother let me make choices, I constantly wore long sleeves, pants, or skirts covering every inch because of society. Did that save me? No. I was still sexualized as a girl and as an adult.

In my 20s, I decided enough was enough. I started wearing what I wanted, crop tops, shorts, skirts, because that’s what felt right for me. I want my children to understand that what they wear should always be their choice, and that they have the right to express themselves without shame or sexualization.

The real issue isn’t the child or the parent allowing expression. The issue is the adults who look at children and immediately interpret their clothing through a sexual lens.

Child development research actually supports giving kids choices like this.

Psychologists consistently show that giving children small areas of autonomy helps build identity, confidence, and decision-making skills. Allowing kids to choose things like clothing gives them a safe space to practice independence and responsibility while still within parental guidance.

Research on child autonomy also shows that children begin developing personal agency very early, and learning to make choices about their own lives is a key part of healthy development. Even very young children demonstrate the ability to make decisions and reflect on their preferences.

Clothing is also one of the first ways children express identity. Studies show that self-expression through clothing can improve confidence, social development, and a child’s sense of individuality.

In other words, letting kids have some control over what they wear isn’t lazy parenting. It’s developmentally healthy.

What I don’t understand is why some parents feel the need to control every aspect of their child’s appearance and then criticize other mothers for doing things differently.

Why are mothers attacking other mothers over something as normal as letting kids explore who they are?

Children should be able to choose their hobbies, their interests, and yes, even their clothes within reasonable boundaries. When people start making assumptions about a child’s identity or sexualizing their clothing choices, that says far more about the adult making the comment than it does about the child.

Kids aren’t the problem.

Letting children express themselves isn’t the problem.

The problem is a culture that looks at children and immediately tries to assign adult meaning to their choices.

The real problem isn’t what children choose to wear—it’s when adults interpret it through a sexual lens. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that sexualization happens when a child’s value or attention is reduced to sexual appeal, or when adults impose sexual meaning on a child’s behavior or appearance. Clothing choices by children, including things like crop tops or skirts, are usually just self-expression, comfort, or following trends. Studies consistently emphasize that the sexualization of children is a reflection of adult perceptions, not the child’s intentions or choices. Allowing kids to make decisions about their own clothing within age-appropriate boundaries is healthy development and helps them build confidence, autonomy, and a sense of identity.

[progressivemother]

Protecting the People We Love: A Simple Discovery

Lately, I’ve been streamlining our family’s health routines. For a while, skincare felt so overwhelming, and I’m honestly relieved that we’re moving back to the simple, gentle, and consistent care that dermatologists have recommended for years. But I’ve realized that the most important part of that routine is one many of us miss: daily sun protection.

It’s easy to think it’s not necessary when it’s cloudy or we’re just at home. However, global surveys show that while many people spend time outdoors during peak UV hours, only a small percentage reapply sunscreen. That’s concerning because skin cancer is the most common cancer in the U.S., affecting 1 in 5 Americans. Melanoma, the deadliest type, kills thousands every year. This isn’t rare or distant; my mother-in-law developed skin cancer in her early 20s, and I’ve heard of many other young cases, too. It can happen much earlier than people expect.

A few things that changed my perspective:

The "Better Sunscreen" Secret: If you find U.S. sunscreens greasy or thick, you’re not alone. Because the FDA hasn't approved a new UV filter since 1999, our options are limited. Meanwhile, Europe and parts of Asia use newer filters that offer broader protection and feel much better on the skin. Because of this, some dermatologists suggest buying Asian or European sunscreens for now. I am genuinely excited that efforts to modernize sunscreen regulations are finally being pushed in the U.S. That progress really matters!

The Melanin Myth: I want to be clear that having more melanin does not mean you don’t need sunscreen. While melanin offers some natural protection, it is limited and not enough to prevent UV damage. People with deeper skin tones can and do develop skin cancer, and it is often diagnosed at later stages, which makes it more dangerous. Everyone needs protection.

The "Everywhere" Rule: UV rays don't care if it's winter or raining; they are present year-round. Much of the risk comes from cumulative exposure; not just big burns, but everyday unprotected sun. This includes being indoors! Standard glass in our homes and vehicles does not protect us from the rays that cause long-term damage.

Indoor Protection: In my house, I keep the curtains closed in the early morning when the sun is low and shining directly inside. I open them later when the sun is higher and the light is less direct, so we get less intense exposure and usually don’t need sunscreen inside.

The Reapply Habit: Sunscreen isn't "one and done." It should be reapplied every two hours when outdoors, and immediately after swimming or sweating. One morning application isn't enough for extended time in the sun.

At the end of the day, this is about protecting our children. Teaching them daily protection and how to care for their skin is teaching lifelong health habits. Sunscreen is cancer prevention, not vanity.

But for the girlies into anti-aging, sunscreen also helps with that.

[progressivemother]

Staying Connected When Miles Keep You Apart: Navigating Deployment with Love

Parenting pre-teens is a balancing act, and so is keeping a relationship strong when life throws curveballs. My journey with my husband has always been about that quiet, constant presence. It’s the simple act of sitting on the couch together, even in silence, or watching him tinker with cars while I’m nearby, just soaking in each other’s company. It’s about the shared space, the unspoken understanding, the feeling of being a unit.

Lately, we’ve really honed that with a dedicated date night every weekend. Whether it’s a fancy dinner out or just a cozy night in with takeout, it’s become our anchor, our non-negotiable time to reconnect and just be together.

But now, a new challenge looms: a year-long deployment. We’ve navigated distance before with his trucking gig, which gave us a small taste of what it’s like to have him gone for stretches. We learned how to make those brief moments count, how to cherish the calls and the short windows of connection. But a full year? That’s a different beast altogether, and the thought of it is… well, a little daunting, to say the least.

Before he leaves, we’ve decided to celebrate big—birthdays and our anniversary—all wrapped up into one weekend. It’s not about the calendar dates as much as it is about the intention: making memories to carry us through the months apart.

So, how do we keep this connection alive when the miles stretch out for so long? It’s about being intentional, about creating new ways to bridge the gap, and about holding onto the essence of what makes us us, even when we can’t physically be in the same room.

●Building Bridges Across the Miles: Our Deployment Survival Guide

•The Power of Routine Check-Ins: We’re setting a “default” communication window. It might not always be perfect with time zones, but knowing there’s a time we’ll try to send a message or make a call provides a sense of rhythm. Even a quick “thinking of you” text can be a lifeline. It’s about building the habit of saying: you’re still my daily person, no matter how far apart we are.

•Family Calls Matter Too: It’s not just about us as a couple—our family calls will be just as important. Seeing the kids, laughing together, and keeping him involved with day-to-day life at home helps him still feel like a piece of the household puzzle. It’s a way of making sure everyone feels connected, not just the two of us.

•The Continuous Conversation: Instead of keeping things boxed into an email chain, we’re making space for a more natural, flowing connection. That might be a notebook we trade back and forth through packages, or a private chat thread where we just add thoughts whenever we can. More like one long, ongoing thread of “here’s where my mind wandered today,” rather than dry updates.

•Care Packages & Memory Drops: This is where we can get creative! We’ll mix practical necessities with sentimental treasures. Think of it as survival gear plus little pieces of home. Snacks he loves, a shirt that smells like home, maybe even silly trinkets that make him laugh. On his end, he can do his version of “memory drops”—postcards, random tokens, or things that reminded him of us along the way.

•Milestone Moments, Not Just Milestones: Counting down a whole year feels overwhelming. Instead, we’ll celebrate smaller chunks of time: one month down, a holiday we “fake celebrate” apart, his first big call home, or even just the halfway mark. It turns one long trek into a series of little finish lines.

•Digital Whispers: In addition to calls and texts, we’ll be sending short voice notes and video clips. A two-second wave or a goofy laugh sometimes speaks louder than a paragraph. It keeps each other’s mannerisms and quirks fresh in mind, not just our words.

We’ve already learned so much about cherishing proximity through his trucking adventures. Now, it’s about adapting those lessons for the longer haul. Love, like any good partnership, isn’t built on extravagant moments—it’s built on the consistency of showing up, even when “showing up” means sending a message across the world.

This deployment won’t be easy, but it’s also a chance to strengthen the threads that hold us together. And when he’s finally home, we’ll pick up right where we left off—on the couch, side by side, no words necessary.

[progressivemother]

Gentle Parenting Pre-Teens: How to Set Boundaries

Parenting a pre-teen can sometimes feel like walking a tightrope. You want to guide and support them, but you also want to avoid the nightly standoffs that leave everyone frustrated. Bedtime, screen time, and homework are often the big battlefields—but they don’t have to be. With some gentle parenting strategies, you can set boundaries that actually stick, without turning every evening into a shouting match.

•Bedtime Without the Power Struggles:

At this age, kids want more say over their routines, but they also still need lots of sleep (even if they don’t think so).

Offer choices within structure. Instead of declaring lights out at one exact time, give options like: “Do you want to be in bed reading at 8:30 or lights out at 9?” Either way, you both win.

Focus on rituals, not the clock. Keeping a consistent wind-down routine—dim lights, no screens, maybe a book or quiet music—matters more than whether bedtime happens at 8:59 or 9:07.

Small amounts of flexibility go a long way in reducing resistance.

•Screen Time: Taming the Endless Scroll:

You don’t have to turn into the Screen Police to set healthy limits. Pre-teens do better when expectations are clear, predictable, and fair.

Anchor screens to real-life events. Try, “You can play until dinner,” or “After homework, you get 45 minutes.” Tying screens to transitions (meals, homework, bedtime) avoids endless arguments over timers.

Make agreements together. Sit down and draft a simple tech contract—nothing fancy, just a paper with rules you both agree on. Kids will often be surprisingly fair-minded if they feel included.

When they’ve had a voice in the rules, there’s less need for nagging later.

•Homework Without the Tears:

Homework can sometimes feel like punishment for parents, too. But shifting your role from “enforcer” to “supporter” makes a huge difference.

Break it into chunks. Nobody does their best work staring down two solid hours of math. Encourage focused 20–25 minute stretches with breaks in between.

Change up the environment. Homework doesn’t have to happen at the same desk every day. The couch, the kitchen table, even the porch—variety can keep things from dragging.

Frame it as their responsibility. Instead of “You need to get this done right now,” try, “This is yours to complete, and I’m here if you need help.” It shifts ownership while keeping you in a supportive role.

•Final Thought: A Little Humor Helps:

Sometimes, no matter how well you set things up, there’s pushback. That’s normal. One way to defuse tension is with humor. Lightly narrating their stalling tactics or when a screen time conversation starts to get tense: “Alright, the 'one more minute' negotiation is now entering its third hour. Shall we call it a draw and have a snack instead?"

These aren't about mocking them, but about showing you can see the funny side of the everyday challenges, which can often diffuse the tension and help everyone reset with a smile.

•Quick Takeaways for Smoother Sailing:

Bedtime: Offer choices within your desired timeframe. Focus on consistent routines over exact clock times.

Screen Time: Link screen use to natural events (meals, homework end). Create tech rules with your child.

Homework: Break tasks into manageable chunks. Vary the study location. Position yourself as a helper, not a dictator.

Pre-teens want independence, but they still need structure. Gentle parenting is about giving them choices within limits, focusing on collaboration, and keeping the power struggles to a minimum. You don’t have to micromanage every move—you just have to guide them with consistency, empathy, and the occasional sense of humor.

[progressivemother]

Teach your kids that safe adults don't ask kids to keep secrets!

Secrets can be fascinating and fun for children. However, we need to talk to our children about how keeping secrets can be dangerous and can cover up dangerous behaviors.

We do not keep secrets in our home. We do teach that there is a difference between privacy and secrets, and a difference between surprises and secrets. We cannot teach children that keeping secrets is okay, as a small percentage of predators prey on children, and their effectiveness rests on their capacity to persuade children to keep secrets. Hence, it is important to teach children about the dangers of secrets.

Secrets are a key ingredient in abuse. Children taught to keep secrets are more likely to keep dangerous secrets. Situations where keeping secrets can harm children include abuse by others, friends in danger, or dangerous situations they create themselves.

Keeping secrets can instill trust issues and fear in a child. This can further lead to anxiety, resentment, and stress, and place unnecessary pressure on the child.

It's crucial for a child to have a reliable adult they can confide in. From an early age, children need to learn that telling a trustworthy adult everything will not get them in trouble. We teach them that responsible and safe adults generally don't expect children to keep secrets, and that if anyone ever tells them they must never tell a secret, that is the exact kind of secret they should disclose to a trusted adult.

It is important for kids to know the difference between fun "secrets" like surprises or gifts and harmful secrets. Surprises and gifts are fun and exciting, but they are not secrets because the person eventually finds out. These are not harmful.

It's also important to teach children the difference between privacy and secrets. They should be taught that not keeping secrets does not mean they need to disclose all their personal details.

From an early age, children must learn respect and boundaries. They must be taught what is improper, such as not telling someone they forgot to put on their undergarments. Our children know everyone's boundaries and will ask for even the smallest things, if necessary, such as asking for one of my chocolates.

As our children grow older, we have regular conversations about privacy and secrets. We don't want to encourage keeping secrets, but we also don't want them to tell everyone our financial situation or a sibling's private concerns. We are mindful of how we react when our children tell us they have done something against the rules. We don't brush off any concerns, because they might not consider us trustworthy adults. It's true that if we, as parents, ignore small things while they are young, they will not tell us bigger things as they grow older. It can start small, such as stealing chocolates as children, but can result in them hiding bigger things from us.

[progressivemother]

A Date Night Jar is a Great Investment

Many couples find it difficult to schedule and plan date nights, as life's demands often leave little time for romance and decision-making. The responsibilities of work and family, regardless of whether children are involved, can make it challenging to find time for intimate moments together. I believe this is a common experience for many married couples.

Creating a date night jar is a delightful and personalized activity you can enjoy with your partner to help brainstorm ideas for quality time together. All you need is a jar, markers, and colorful popsicle sticks. Fill the jar with activities you both love and things you individually enjoy that you'd like to share with your partner. Then, when it's time to decide on an activity, you'll have a variety of options, and you can let the jar make the choice for you.

This trend has gained popularity on Pinterest and TikTok, with many couples sharing their creations. The wonderful thing about a date night jar is its potential for personalization to reflect your unique relationship. Furthermore, the process of making one together can be a delightful date in itself.

You may wish to color-code your date options and categorize them in any way you prefer. For example, yellow might represent outdoor dates, while green could signify at-home dates. You might also consider your mood, opting for more relaxed activities on some days and more energetic ones on others.

We have color coded ours like this:

Yellow: At home dates

Red: Indoor-Low cost or free

Pink: Indoor-Expensive or medium expensive

Blue: Outdoor-Low cost or free

Green: Outdoor Expensive or medium expensive

Purple: Get away

Our options include things like hiking, his choice and her choice or each color, horseback riding, ice skating, movie night, shooting, picnic, etc.

Personalized it to your tastes.

If you've noticed an imbalance in emotional labor between you and your partner, consider using a jar to help create a more balanced approach. When one partner consistently does more planning than the other, it can lead to feelings of tiredness and frustration. Offering a variety of options that you both agree on can help prevent unnecessary tension and indecision.

Spending quality time together on dates provides a wonderful opportunity to reconnect, enjoy romance, and escape the pressures of daily life. It allows for undivided attention, a break from phones, work, children, and household responsibilities. A date-night jar can simplify the process, enhancing the enjoyment of your time together. Scheduling regular date nights, whether weekly or monthly, is also important, depending on your lifestyle and schedule. Trying new activities together will revitalize your relationship and strengthen your bond.

[progressivemother]

Anniversary Vacation

My husband and I have reached the significant milestone of ten years of marriage. We have made a decision to celebrate every five years with a vacation. If you have not yet adopted this practice, I recommend making it as a beautiful tradition.

We had the pleasure of visiting California during our recent vacation. As residents of Utah, we were excited to experience the ocean. My husband, understanding my love for nature and the fact that I had been working constantly, decided on this vacation to ensure I spent as much time in nature as possible. We got to witness the giant redwoods of California and played around in the ocean. The beauty of the surroundings was simply breathtaking. We barely spent any time in the hotel rooms and my husband thoughtfully chose a room with an ocean view. It was wonderful experience. We dined out every evening during our vacation.

On the first day of our trip, we made a stop at the well know Thunder Mountain Monument. While it was an awe-inspiring sight, it was unfortunate that we were unable to explore the interior due to others who have caused damage.

The second day brought us to the Redwood Park, where we saw the towering trees. My husband said that it felt as if we were on another planet. We are grateful that these majestic trees have been preserved for future generations to enjoy.

On the third day, we went Pacific Ocean. The beauty of the crashing waves against the shore was mesmerizing, and I could have spent hours watching it. While I attempted to play in the water, we found ourselves in a colder area, which was disappointing. But the beauty of the ocean made up for it. Later that evening, after dinner, we took advantage of the low tide to collect some seashells as souvenirs for the children.

The fourth day of our trip, we went to an aquarium, where we had the unique opportunity to pet a shark. It was fun to see how much the shark seemed to enjoy the attention. Her adorable demeanor made the experience all the more memorable.

This was the most fun I have had in years. Always working and watching children is stressful and getting away with my husband was the perfect thing to do. Ten years is a huge milestone in a marriage and milestones are worth celebrating.

It is widely acknowledged that there are many stunning vacation destinations around the world. However, there equally captivating places within the United States that offer the opportunity to immerse yourself in diversity.

• LA' Chinatown, USA: Beautiful spas, hotels, and even karaoke is available along with beautiful souvenirs and Chinese food.

• Honolulu, USA: Lolani Palace, hotels, surf lessons, Shark's Cove, and local cuisine.

• Sedona, Arizona, USA: Red Rock State Park, hotels, hiking trips, and homemade muffins

• New Orleans, Louisiana, USA: Mardi Gras, museums, the French Quarter, and Cajun food.

There are many others. Do some research and find beautiful destinations close by before going abroad. You have you entire marriage to make memories.

It is easy to get caught up in the daily routine and watch the weeks pass by without finding much time for enjoyment. We all have responsibilities, such as work and family commitments. However, it is essential to take breaks and make time for fun. Anniversaries provide an opportunity to break free from the routine and create memorable experiences. Even if it is not an anniversary, it is important to make an effort to create fun and memorable moments. Remember, it is crucial to prioritize these moments in our lives.

[progressivemother]

Make the Most Out of Your Weekend As a Working Mother

As a working mother, your weekends can be busy. Your weekends are full of all of the things that you didn’t get to during the week, such as running errands, and when the weekend is over, you feel exhausted rather than refreshed. Weekends can also be a time of survival. You are tired and don't have much energy to do anything fun. When the weekend is over, you don't feel like you made any good memories and you wasted time.

I get it. I've been through that. Eventually, we figured out a way to get pass this.

I found a job working from home and during any breaks, chores are done and projects can slowly be worked on during those breaks and during slow periods of my work. Right now I am working on a blanket for my son and it gets done when things slow down during work. Playdates can happen any time while I work. Either the friends come to my house or they go to another house or the park. They have SynchUp watches so I can keep track and they clean up after themselves.

I took better control of my time with a schedule and a routine for the week. I know what needs to be done and I do it. I knew that I needed something similar for our weekends. We make plans and a possible schedule for the weekends as well.

Weekends can be stressful and having a full packed schedule can be stressful as well. Planning one or two things for family fun works great and if we have the time for more, then we can do more. What matters is how you want to feel. I want to feel full of energy, relaxed, and I want to feel like I accomplished something with my family. Creating a weekend that is what we need as a family instead of forcing something that is going to feel like a struggle is the best way to go.

Saturdays are great. We make sure that we don't have chores to do except the almost necessary ones, such as dishes, making beds and feeding the animals. This way, we have time to spend together instead of focusing on chores. I make sure all essential chores are done during the week by me and by the kids. The kids only get simple chores after school so they can do homework and play. During the summer and Sundays, they can do bigger chores.

To make sure we have free time during the weekend, laundry is done daily, the main rooms stay picked up, and groceries are delivered every Friday. This frees up time to do fun activities every weekend.

Sundays, we do chores due to having a day off on Saturday. The house can get dirty quickly if we don't. We still keep up on Saturdays but, as I said, it's basic. We make sure to start early. Everyone is awake by 7am, daily, making getting chores done quicker. Breakfast, getting dressed, and all chores are usually done before 11am which frees up most of the day.

Here are some fun weekend things to do.

• Parks

• Aquariums

• The library

• Museums

• Amusement parks

• Bowling

• Trampoline places

• Hiking

• Picnic (indoor or outdoor)

These are just a few ideas. You can always find something free to do; you don't have to spend money. Today, we went to the library. The kids had fun. Our library has games and activities that we did. We choose books out before we left for lunch.

Remember, you don't have to pack your weekend full of activities and stress yourself out in order to have fun. You only need a few activities. Everyone wants time to relax after a long week, including your kids. Making the choice and planning activities and a schedule that supports what you want, feels so much better! And your family will feel it to.

[progressivemother]

Back to School Hacks for Busy Mothers

We all know that back to school can be stressful on everyone; the kids and the parents. Everyone is overwhelmed. Getting back into a routine, buying school supplies, school clothes and packing lunches are all difficult to deal with. The good thing is that you get a break from kids for a bit.

Here are few hacks and a list:

1. Work on summer reading and summer projects: This is the first thing that should be tackled sooner rather than later in the summer. Do not procrastinate. Projects need to always be done as early as possible. With the summer reading, I have my children read every day for at least ten minutes every evening. They also keep up on their math and their cursive. There are free apps for all of this.

2. Get the home and yourself organized: Organizing yourself and you home before the school season starts is very important to mothers. A few things you can do is have an area for packing school lunches, have an area in your pantry for easy access snacks and breakfast foods, and designate a homework area.

3. Clean out and organize kids clothes: This is the perfect opportunity to weed out clothes that no longer fit, donate items that are still in good condition, and make way for new school clothes.

4. Buying new clothes: You don't always need new clothes. I often buy my children clothes that are a size bigger and can last a little while. All through the year, as the clothes get too small, they get replaced. My children take good care of the clothing and we usually have clothes that last. We don't always have to go on a full day of shopping to get new clothes. If we do have to buy clothes, we mainly buy online and go to thrift stores. You can get great clothes at thrift stores and you can get clothes for a great price online if you know how to look.

5. School supply shopping: We mainly do school shopping online or at cheap places like Family Dollar and Walmart to save money and time. Children don't usually need much and the textbooks are provided by the schools. Make sure to label all items belonging to your child with their name. This one is easy to handle.

6. Doctors appointments: We get any appointments needed done the month or two before school. My children had their physicals, dentists appointments, and eye exams all done in the last two months. Making sure they are up to date on vaccinations, checking for any underlying health issues, and addressing any concerns early can help prevent serious illnesses down the road.

7. Get haircuts: While it may seem like a minor detail, a fresh haircut can give your child a confidence boost for their first day back. Plus, it’s one less thing to worry about once the school year is in full swing.

8. Register for all activities or sports the kids want: We registered my daughter for gymnastics and working on getting my son registered for Tai Kwon Do. They love activities where they can make friends and enjoy themselves doing something they love. Not only will participating in these activities keep your kids active and engaged, but they’ll also make new friends and develop valuable skills.

9. Add school events to your calendar: As a mom gearing up for the new school year, it’s essential to stay on top of all the events and deadlines that the school year brings. Adding school events to your calendar is a great way to ensure that you don’t miss an important meeting or a fun school event. We cannot be scrambling to get ready for something we forgot or didn't know about. We have the calendar on my phone that I keep it on, the calendar on the fridge, and the reminders on the kids' watches to keep up on everything.

10. Review the teacher’s name and transportation information with the kids: It’s your kid’s first day of school and you want to make sure everything goes smoothly. One important thing to do before you send your little one off to their new classroom is to review the teacher’s name and transportation information with them. We go over the teacher’s name and the room number. My children walk to school so there isn't an need to go over what to do for transportation whether it be the bus or one of our vehicles.

11. Routine: What I suggest for the routine, is keeping the same routine or similar throigh the summer. We keep the same bedtime and same wakeup time, the same morning routine (minus walking to school), and the same evening routine (minus homework). The only difference is they get to stay up and do things as long as it was in their rooms. This way they still get the hours they need. Their father and I wake up around 4am everyone for work and this keeps everyone happy.

12. Breakfast: It is difficult to get children to eat early in the morning. What I do is have quick and easy breakfasts that we can quickly pop in the microwave or toaster or just add milk to. Oatmeal, cereal, muffins, frozen waffles, bagels, cereal bars and granola bars.

13. Outfits: Outfits are simple. Most of us know that you should set out clothing and jewelry the night before to make the morning easier. Another hack I've learned is the hanging fabric shelves or a drawer storage week with the days of the week on it. It doesnt work for me because my daughter will be changing her mind and switching the clothing out anyway each night.

14. School supplies: Put all school supplies for each child in one place. Command hooks work great for this. Backpacks are put on a hook in their closets with all the supplies the need in the backpack. Right now, they don't need much due to how young they are. When they are older, most things will be in their lockers and only items necessary for homework will be brought home.

15. Pack school lunch and backpack the night before: I know there are those who pay for school lunch but for me, it's a waste of money. I prepare the kids' lunches the night before and put them in the lunch box. To save money, they either have leftovers or sandwiches. I make sure they have a fruit and a vegetable. Canned fruits and vegetables last a while and you can put them in a container in the fridge and take what is needed out for the lunch. It can last a couple of days. For things like cut up apples, you can wrap it in plastic to preserve it so it lasts until lunch. I have containers for things like ranch as well. Vegetables and fruit are more fun for kids to eat if they have something to dip it in. The backpacks need to be packed and ready for the next day as well. All homework put inside along with anything else needed for that day.

16. After school routine: It’s so important to have a good routine for kids after school. It helps them manage expectations, get their homework done and still have time to be kids and play. We start with home right away after school. A The kids are usually done by 4pm, leaving an hour to play. After that is any chores that need to be done before dinner at 5:30-6:00pm.

Dealing with the start of school can be a daunting task. Remember to enjoy it. Get up, eat a healthy breakfast, take first day of school pictures, and start the day. Once your child is dropped off, you don't need to worry about them for hours. Enjoy your time and remember that they are enjoying theirs.

[progressivemother]

Family Day Activities and Fun in the Summer

Special memories and love is what makes our kids' childhood meaningful. By having a family day with your kids this summer, you can connect with your kids, engage your family, and make magical memories. Love is the best part of childhood.

When we look back in our memories, what do we remember fondly? It isnt the simple days where we followed the schedule and did our chores; it was the fun days where we went out and did things together with our family. It's the "special days" we treasure as memories.

Don't get me wrong, the daily "boring" stuff is so important. It helps children grow into adults that understand structure, know how to take care of their own homes, and understand that hard work is important. These things are just as important as having carefree, fun days.

I have tried my best to integrate family days into our lives along with the routines and chores. It isn't because everyone else is doing it but to make sure my children have loving, bonding moments with their family.

Summer is a great time to do this.

You don't have to have a lot of money or have a Pinterest worthy summer to have good times together. Enjoy eating ice cream, going camping for a weekend or going swimming together can be a lot of fun and doesn't cost much.

Here are some great activities we have done this summer.

1. Go outside. We dont do anything exciting during this time. Sometimes, we only have the time or money to just go in the yard. We sit on the grass and hang out together or sit on the swings set.

2. Play in the hose. Nothing brings laughter and just pure fun for kids than water. You don't have to have a fancy pool. We actually don't like pools. Weird, I know but it ruins the grass and is just another chore. We have water guns, squirters, and a sprinkler. There is nothing wrong with this. Have some ice cream and let the kids enjoy themselves.

3. Star gaze. Put a big blanket in your yard or blow up mattress on your deck and watch the stars together – see if you and your kids can name some of them. This is not only fun but it's also a great educational moment. They can learn while they spend time with you.

4. Go for a car ride. With this, we get in and drive. If we find something fun like horses to pet or a restaurant that looks interesting, we go for it. Stopping at a park with some ice cream is a lot of fun.

5. Take a nature walk. We live near mountains with streams, and we always see so many things on our walk. This is a great way to make conversations with the kids.

6. Make a summer treat. Do homemade ice cream, or even something simple like kool aid in the ice trays (remember those) stick a toothpick in them before freezing and you have a fruit pop! Anything cold and good will do!!

7. Go camping or swimming or both. We have this reservoir near us where we can swim and there is a camping area near it. It's a lot of fun.

This weekend, we went shooting. I understand that this is controversial but my husband is in the military and he has always enjoyed guns. He enjoys spending time with his family while doing this. He uses it as a teaching moment about how guns can be fun or used when needed but it is important to be responsible with guns. They are taught to never point a gun at anyone and never put their finger on the trigger until they are ready to shoot. It's the same rules with pretend guns. Things like that.

There is this pressure today that tells you your kids have to be in every activity and every sport and parents are fully scheduled. We only have each child in one thing. That is it. We want to spend time with our children. There are times they complain about "having" to spend time with us but we still do it to try to spend time with them. We are too busy, and too scheduled.

Kids don't get to enjoy the pure beauty of summer anymore. Sit on that swing, on the porch, deck or whatever. Just sit and have conversations together. Encourage your family to do this more. I know it’s difficult with today’s electronic age but let your family know how important it is to you to just enjoy one another. If you can get them to do this once a week even, it will be a gift!

[progressivemother]

How I Stay Productive as a Working Housewife & Mother to Two

Everyone wants to be productive in their day and have a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment at the end of the day. Our society has made it seem that unless you are employed outside the home you are not a productive member of society. This is simply not true. Whether you work outside of the home, in the home, or only a homemaker, you deserve to feel happy and appreciated.

Everyone should be satisfied with and proud of their home. Dont get me wrong; that doesnt mean only cleaning the house. It's taking care of the yard, the vehicles, and the outside of the home. Of course, everyone has pets and kids to care for as well.

Here are my tips for staying on top of things whether you work outside of the home or in the home.

1. Keep a routine and a schedule

I have a daily routine and a schedule. Of course, everything is flexible if it's needed. I am not strict in everything I do. But if you schedule a routine, the house practically runs itself.

I have a cleaning binder with daily, weekly, and monthly cleaning routines. I used these when I worked outside of the home and I have kept it while working from home. I will admit, it is definitely easier while working from home. You need to find something that works for you and create your own binder if that is something that works for you.

We have a daily schedule that is usually consistent. We have one for the school year and one for the summer. What I've come to find works great for me is an app where I can keep my schedule and the kids' all in one space. This helps me keep track. The kids have Synch Up watches that I can add schedules to so they can keep up on their own things. I do have an app with my schedule and an app where I can list anything extra I need to do that isnt on the normal schedule such as what monthly cleaning I am going to do that day, when to start a birthday cake or what needs to be bought that wasnt in the grocery delivery.

2. Do some chores and set up some things the night before.

I like to do a few things the night before to make my day easier.

• Empty all of the trash

• Pick up all of the clutter and put things away

• Reset the kitchen

• Put clothes and washing pod in washer

• Prepare any food needed for next day whether defrosting or premaking crockpot meal.

• Prepare kids' meals that don't involve cooking.

• Prepare pets' food for next day and check pets' water.

• Set up kids' videos (we have education time every morning)

• Choose outfit and jewelry

• Fill water bottle

• Refill toilet paper, paper towels, & hand soaps

• Prepare the coffee for the next day. (Our coffee pot has a time that we can set for it to brew)

• Put the dishes in the dishwasher and preset to wash during the night

• Get anything ready for next day, such as bills, knitting and groceries to do while working. So for you, it might be a briefcase or a coffee mug. If you are able to take care of things while working in between customers or calls (whatever it is you do), then do that if it is allowed by your bosses.

3. Get up early and go to bed early

I wake up every morning at 4am to start my day. I do not start work until 7am. I work from home so I can do a lot before that time. I exercise, do a piano session, drink my coffee and eat breakfast, and lastly I do most of my daily cleaning and most of my weekly cleaning. The rest can be done on breaks including my monthly cleaning.

You do what works for you and what helps you feel the most productive. It’s not so much when you get up, it’s your attitude when you do. I take a few minutes to get my mind and attitude right before I start my day. Purpose to have a good attitude and purpose to be a productive person.

Going to bed at a good time the night before helps with this. I am in bed by 8:30pm after meditation. Meditation definitely helps me wind down and fall asleep quicker and helps me wake up in a better mood. This habit is something I have taught my kids.

4. Get dressed as early as possible

Whether you take a shower/bath the night before or in the morning, it is important that you get ready for the day as soon as you can. I usually take a bath the night before. Since I clean, I stay in my cleaning clothes or pajames until I am mostly finished. I get dressed around 10am in the morning. I just feel more productive when I'm dressed. I don't wear makeup so this does make things easier. I do understand with toddlers it's more difficult but I made it work. Just do your best.

5. Have a calendar

We have a month calendar and a week calendar for anything we have plans for such as birthday parties or gymnastics. I have the app and I have a physical magnetic calendar on the fridge.

The app is for me and the calendar on the fridge is for the family. Everyone has a colored marker for themselves. There are also colors for family things, friends things, and pets.

6. Meal prep

A time-saving hack every mom should be doing is meal planning. It saves money and it makes making the meals much easier on yourself. We also have a magnetic week calendar for the meals. I have an app where I keep track of the meals but I also write it down on a physical calendar on the fridge.

7. Choose a day to prepare for the week.

Every Thursday, I sit down and go over the schedule, bills, and meal plan for the week. I pay the bills due and shop for the groceries to be delivered on Fridays.

This doesn't take me longer than an hour. We don't usually have much planned. It's the same schedule every day. Work, school, etc.

But choose a day that fits you best and go over everything that needs to be taken care of for that week.

8. Be Organized

My husband always makes fun of me and says I'm crazy because of how organized I am. I have binders for everything. Birthdays, bills, cleaning, house projects, etc. I also have the house organized. But the thing is, keeping things minimal and having as little in the house as possible helps me keep everything in it's place. The kids are taught, "don't put it down, put it away". I make sure I use that mantra on myself as well.

9. Schedule breaks and time for yourself

Give yourself little times during the day to have a break. Grab a cup of coffee or a snack, go for a walk. Reward yourself for productive periods of time. You will be much more likely to finish a task after you have a break. Taking time for yourself doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you a happier and better mom. I do my exercise in the morning and my meditation and a bath in the evening.

10. Say "no"

This is so important for everyone who works from home, works outside of the home, or is a homemaker. There are times when saying "no" is just what you have to do. You have a schedule and most likely, so do your friends. Schedule time for friends. You have children and you have your husband that you also need to spend time with. Luckily, my friends and I understand this about each other. We are all working mothers who prefer spending time with family on the weekends. Sometimes, we will all get together on the weekends doing family things with friends but it's rare. Mostly, we will choose a time we have lunch break and eat lunch together or sit at the park talking. We get our social time in and we still are able to focus on our schedules and families.

11. Put your phone down and limit all media

We, as parents, need to learn to put our phones down to spend more time with our children and to stay productive. Think about it. We can sit on a phone and get distracted and before we know it, 30 minutes or an hour has gone by and we havent done anything.

In my house, we limit screen time for the kids and the parents. We also do not allow the news or politics in our home. We have realized that it is only distracting and toxic. It doesnt have any use to us, in this time, in our home.

12. Dont procrastinate

For me it is not helpful to continue to worry about how I feel and my struggles. There is a time and place for that. We can all get overwhelmed with our duties, our jobs, our kids, etc. We tend to just sit there in our thoughts and whine about how we don't want to do laundry or cook dinner. Just do it. Things just need to be done. If it doesn't get done, then later on, it will only be more overwhelming to us because there is more work to be done. I try to get things done as efficiently and joyfully as possible so that I can more energy for things that I actually want to do.

Times have changed alot since the early days of being a housewife. A wife and mother has many responsibilities, but they can be achieved with luck and planning. Creating a schedule that works for you and your family is the catalyst for success. Celebrate your wins and always do your best. Everyone has good days and bad days. Don't be afraid to ask for help or have your kids do chores. Do not worry about being perfect. You only need to do you best.

[progressivemother]

Morality and How To Teach Children

The philosophy of ethics are fascinating. What is the proper basis for morality? This question comes up frequently in discussions for various reasons – it tests the limits of science, the role of philosophy, and the role of religion. There has always been a vibrant discussion on the matter.

Many of those in religious circles will argue that religion is a source of morality but this couldn't be more far from fact. First, there isn't a general consensus on whether or not there are dieties of any kind. There are thousands of religions in the world and one cannot say that one in particular is fact. The "fact" of religion is really up to each individual and their beliefs shouldn't be shunned nor should they push their beliefs onto others. There is a philosophical dilemma inherent in basing absolute morality on religious faith.

I feel that moral reasoning should be based on science, philosophy, and an individual's own ethics. This is what I teach my children. They learn about different philosophies (including religions) and about sciences. They are learning that morals are more of a subjective thing instead of a objective thing. This way, they can grow into their own person with their own morals.

Morals can only be understood within the context of an individual. We all have things we care about; family friends, ourselves, out homes, etc. We have evolved our own sense of morals based on what we have learned throughout our lives. They are not based on what we are told to think by others. At least they shouldn't be. We need to think for ourselves.

As social animals, we have come to understand that we affect others both negatively and positively. We do naturally care about others, especially those we hold close to us. But we have to remember that there is no such thing as "natural" or "unnatural" morals in society. To think is such a way is a fallacy. Morals will always be subjective. Objective morals just do not exist.

The example I give most is that people say that one should never harm or kill another. But if we think about it, we cannot honestly tell a soldier that. They are there to defend their country and loved ones. Besides that, people need to be able to defend themselves. Killing is also a subjective moral.

You cannot tell others how to believe, what to believe, or how to live their lives based on your morals. Whether an act is regarded as “morally good” or “morally bad” must be a statement about how an individual feels about the matter, not those around them.

Saying that morals are “subjective” does not imply that they are unimportant. If morals were “objective” then they could be entirely unrelated to what matters to us. Subjective morals does not it mean your values are better than another's values nor does it mean you can't tell someone they are wrong. But my children are taught that only a few values matter in an objective matter such as murder for fun rather than necessity, lying without a good reason, or stealing unless necessary.

They are taught that murder could be necessary to protect someone, lying could be necessary to protect someone, and stealing could be necessary if someone is too poor to feed or clothe themselves. They are taught to mind their business if someone is stealing food if they cannot help them. If they can find a way to help without breaking laws or harming another, then they should. Buying food for someone who cannot feed themselves can be a good thing to do.

In the end, an individual's own ethics is what determines their morals. There are not objective morals in nature and to think so is fundamentally misleading. What my children and I know is that most humans are by nature good but humans are also selfish creatures by nature. Being selfish isn't wrong just like following your own morals isn't.

[progressivemother]

Easter History And How To Enjoy Stress Free Easter

What is the meaning of Easter? It depends on the person and their own beliefs. To our family, it is simply a family holiday to enjoy together. We have fun with Easter baskets and egg hunts. But we have to understand where Easter originated to understand the meaning behind the traditions.

We like to teach our children the history of every holiday. If you follow me, you know that. No matter your beliefs, you need to know how holidays started and why they are apart of our lives.

The feast day of Easter was first a pagan holiday of renewal and rebirth. Spring is known as the season of new beginnings because it symbolizes the rebirth of nature and the return of life after the challenges of winter. The spring season brings back color, flowers, and animals that have been dormant during the winter. This is why it is celebrated throught the world and history.

Honored in the early spring, it praised the pagan goddess of fertility and spring known as ‘Ostara’, ‘Eastre’ or ‘Eostre’. The word “Easter” finds its etymology from the goddess’s name. The Germanic folk, known as the Teutons, worshiped pagan gods and goddesses and it’s believed that the origin of the Easter Bunny, hares and eggs can be dated back to the 13th century in Germany.

Eggs are used as fertility symbols. Drawings of Eostre often depict her holding a woven basket on her arm, and she would carry baskets filled with eggs to encourage fertility. Eggs and seedlings have long been considered a sign of new life in many cultures, and the tradition of putting eggs inside Easter baskets has both religious and cultural significance. Later on Christians would hold on to the old customs. That's the main reason why we still give baskets filled with goodies during this holiday. To Christians it represents Christ's reasuresction.

Easter baskets are fun! But remember, that children do not need a lot. It isn't Christmas nor a birthday. Some candy, a new swimsuit, flip-flops, sunglasses, and sidewalk chalk all they really need. That is it. Sometimes, I don't always add flip-flops or a swimsuit. It really depends on it they have outgrown their old ones. To make it more enjoyable, try doing a scavenger hunt for the baskets instead of just putting them out to be easily found. It's much more fun for the kids. I do this for St. Patrick's Day. Unfortunately, I forgot to write a post about it. I will have to remember for next year. No matter the holiday, scavenger hunts are so much fun.

Dying eggs does not have to be a hassle. I know that many have problems with peeling eggs no matter what you try. Here is a suggestion: Start eggs in already boiling water for 15 minutes. Put eggs in ice water right for 15 minutes. Dye the eggs and peel under running water when you are ready to eat. Many sites have wonderful ideas on easy egg dying activities that are fun and stress free.

Another thing. I used to be one of those moms that thought my kids needed a new outfit for every holiday, including Easter. They looks adorable but it isn't necessary. They most likely already have something great for Easter in their closets. There isn't a need for me to stress about this nor you.

Easter egg hunts are another amazing activity. Everyone knows how to do this. But you don't have to only put candy. You can add money or little toys. Unfortunately, we couldn't do it today because it's a rainy day out where we live but we are excited to do it next weekend.

Once we are able to throughly enjoy Easter when the weather is better, I will add pictures. The kids are most excited about banana pudding. Remember, that desserts and dinner don't have to be hard either. Simply things such as puddings, no bake cookies, deviled eggs, and simple baked chicken instead of something that takes most of the day is just fine. You are meant to spend time with your family not slave away in the kitchen.

Well, that is it. Remember, that Easter is about the spring season and family fun. It doesn't have to be serious or hard by any means. Easter is filled with sunshine, warmth, lots of pastel and all the joy and new life that comes with spring!

[progressivemother]

A Buddhist's thoughts on Judging and Hating Others

As mothers, we are constantly judged. Most of us could do with less judgment and more support. There isn't a perfect way to raise children. There isn't a guidebook. Our children are also judged because of their personalities or what they enjoy doing in their free time.

Judging others are normally thoughts and not words. They can still show up in the form of a glance, unintended facial expression, a tone of voice, or lack of supportive words. The fact is while we are judging them, they are probably judging us.

The irony is when someone judges another person, it is most likely a forced reflection. People aren't happy in their lives, not confident in themselves or their parenting so they hold a microscope up to others and try to feel superior even if it's only for a fleeting moment.

The problem with this is that the low confidence and negativity can rub off on our children even if we try our best to teach them to be kind and non-judgmental. This is partially why we are so much trouble with bullying in schools. We are supposed to lead by example. The example is to try to never judge others, to try our best to not get angry and to not show hatred toward others.

We also need to make sure to never allow what someone else thinks of us to affect us. I don't and I lead by example. My children are some of the most confident children in their school and the kindest. I get compliments from the teachers on how wonderful they are.

Here is a wonderful quote that I absolutely love and it also reminds me of a story about the Buddha that I want to share.

I absolutely love this. When becoming a Buddhist, you immerse yourself into the teachings as best you can and this quote is similar to a story about the Buddha that teaches us a great lesson.

The story goes that the Buddha went to a village and started teaching. There was a young man who got angry at the Buddha and started yelling at the Buddha. The Buddha didn't react. He just smiled. Eventually, the Buddha asked the young man, "if you purchased a lovely gift for someone, but that person did not accept the gift, to whom does the gift then belong?"

The young man stated, "the gift would still be mine because I bought it".

The Buddha smiled and said, “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not feel insulted and reject it, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself.”

There are different interpretations and the story can vary slightly but the lesson is the same. Do not care what others think of you. When they are angry at you without reason, judge you negatively, or just hate you, it isn't your responsibility but theirs. Those are their feelings and their thoughts. You are not responsible for making others happy. Just be yourself. Caring about what others think will only cause you suffering.

Remember this lesson and use it in your life.

[progressivemother]

Winter Activities as a Family

Winter is especially hard for stay at home moms because, we are confined indoors even more than usual due to the cold. You probably talk to people less often and are more sedentary and probably find yourself getting bored. The kids are bored and constantly complaining about wanting to do something and staying on electronics all day isn't good for anyone. To add to mine, my husband is not here.

1. The number one thing we can do is get out of the house. I know how much work it takes to get out of the house with kids. It's hard work during the winter because we have to add all the layers to keep those kiddos warm: coats, hats, mittens, scarves, boots, etc. plus snacks and drinks. It you have infants, there is a lot more to add.

• Take a hike

• Go to the park

• Go for a walk

• Go camping

• Plan a winter picnic

• Try a scavenger hunt (there are free printables and ideas anywhere online)

• Build a snowman or snow cave (if you have snow)

• Go to the zoo, museum, or aquarium

2. Talk to adults. In the winter, it’s easy to neglect relationships because you aren’t going out of the house as much. Make an intentional decision to get together with other moms and friends throughout the week.

• Invite someone over for coffee and a morning play date.

• Have an picnic playdate with some hot cocoa and snacks at a park

3. Find ways to be active. During the warmer times of the year, we play outside a lot but during the winter we tend to stay inside because it's cold.

• Have a dance party

• Find a video for indoor exercise for the whole family

• Do yoga together

4. Have some indoor fun. We can be bored while inside. Everyone wants to scroll though youtube or social media instead of spending time with family. While hanging out together, have some hot cocoa.

• Play a board game

• Have an obstacle course

• Build a fort

• Read together

• Do some art together. Our favorite is speed art

• Bake something

• Do some puzzles

• Play video games together

5. Do something productive while everyone is gone. As mothers, we tend to stay home while the kids are at school or a friend's and our spouse is at work.

• Make a blanket

• Read

• Organize that closet you've been putting off

• Paint that room

• Learn a new skill

These aren't required for anyone; these are just ideas for you and your family to spend quality time together and for you to get active. I hope that these activies are easy for you to incorporate into your lives. Always remember, no matter what you’re capable of doing or how fun you feel that you are, you are a good mom. You are doing your best and that is enough. Always remember: Quality over Quantity.

This is a picture of a blanket I made during my time alone at home. I am working on another one.

I also have a few pictures of a fun activity we did today. It is called Rainbow in a glass.