Some thoughts on sub space
I thought Iād posted this here from FetLife, but apparently not. Inspired by a conversation with @dijkstra0, here is a repost of my original answer to a post @temptingdominance made when he was still @youthfuldominance.Ā
Question: āhow do you get a boy to subspace? - AnonymousĀ
Answer: youthfuldominance: Honestly I think that is better question reserved for a submissive boy. What does it take for him to get into a subspace? Every boy is different. It requires different stimuli. I act consistently with the behavior that I have shared on this blog, and modify as needed with a particular boy.Ā
My response: So Iāve been tasked with answering this by my master. This is really not an easy question to answer, because itās so very subjective. Iām going to break it into two parts: what it takes for me to get there, and what it feels like. Bear with me if this seems a bit rambly.Ā
In my case, Iām wired in such a way that certain kinds of sensation will trigger the endorphin rush that causes me to drift off into subspace: nipple play (biting, pulling, squeezing my nipple piercings, clamps), fisting, flogging, and caning. Other kinds of sensation are incredibly difficult for me to take and do nothing towards getting me there.Ā
One of the main things that Iāve found has to be the case is that whatever the sensation is, it has to be regular, repetitive, and slowly increasing in intensity. The more random it is, the harder it is to process. I describe āprocessingā the pain as sort ofā¦ climbing on top of it. Itās still there, but itās not at the highest level of my consciousness, itās sort of an undercurrent. Itās not quite an out of body experience, in that you donāt see yourself looking down on your body (at least for me, itās completely nonvisual), but you definitely feel detached from your physical self andā¦ adrift. A break in the pattern of the sensation can cause that state to end rather abruptly, and in some cases, really fuck with your head.Ā
As a general rule, the faster his pulse and breathing, the more heās reacting to the sensations youāre giving him on a surface level and the harder it is for him to process them in a way that lets him ride the sensation. You want to let him relax into the pain before you increase its intensity. I find that I need to be brought back from subspace very slowly and carefully. My master is usually able to tell Iāve āgone awayā because my breathing gets deeper and slower, my muscles relax, and my moaning sometimes drops a bit in pitch, to where itās coming out of the back of my throat. In general, if your boy is reacting to what youāre doing in that way, KEEP DOING IT. Heās in a very, very happy place and you want to keep him there and let him bask in it. If he starts laughing or giggling as youāre giving him sensation, heās in a really, really good place. This happens to me occasionally, and is something my master and I have learned to just go with. Fortunately, he enjoys taking me to that special place.Ā
For me, the state of being in subspace is the best high there is, and is akin to a meditative state. I find peace there I just donāt get any other way. Iād say itās almost a spiritual experience, but I havenāt really made that connection yet. I can definitely see where people who have spiritual or religious experiences while experiencing pain are coming from, though.Ā
One thing novice tops need to keep in mind is aftercare. A boy coming back from this place is going to be very, very vulnerable and will need attention. For me, most of the time this means a blanket, some gatorade, and some physical attention from my master. Weāve had scenes go wrong where I was abruptly yanked out of subspace by a misplaced whip or flogger; generally after that happens, I donāt want to be touched for a couple of minutes after being taken out of restraints and allowed to lie down. It takes time to come back to reality from being there.Ā
If youāre a novice top or bottom looking to learn more about subspace and how to get there (and what to do when things go wrong), there are two excellent books I canāt recommend you read enough, āThe Topping Bookā and āThe Bottoming Bookā by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton. These two books are invaluable at explaining everything at work in a scene, everything that can go wrong, how to deal with it, and suggestions for getting there, from both a topās perspective and a bottomās perspective. If you havenāt read them, read them.Ā
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