i don't even know where i'm going with this so wow lemme just vent it out here because this is exactly where it belongs. i dunno i'm just glad no one will be able to read this really unless their mobile, but this account crossed my mind for the first time in a while and just wow my whole mood dropped.
but really, jus- it's funny how things change. how i thought this would all last a long time, yet it crumpled in a matter of days. as soon as the one year hit everything just came to a complete stop, and i'm not even sure who was the one who caused it all. perhaps it was a bit of both. that's why i sucked it up after all of that- after thinking that everything was absolutely over and seeing if i could perhaps fix it.
there's that saying though, y'know don't beat a dead horse or whatever the fuck it's supposed to be. and honestly what happened was just me putting a bandage on the whole situation. the relationship was already dead, and that was proven quite easily after you couldn't even take the time out to say a simple 'hello' or something. even after i told you that no matter what you would always be one of the few people i would reply to no matter what. and i felt annoying too, because it took you like what? eight days. it took you eight days to text me again, and you were apparently really busy. so yeah, i dunno.
i guess i thought i would wait until our anniversary to see if you would try talking to me again- which was around two weeks after the last conversation. funny enough, you were online too. i'm always on aim, and i barely glanced at a status update from lu to see that you replied from your other account.
honestly i never even cared about the fact that you had another relationship on that different account, because it was, well- different. and the two of you guys were absolutely adorable from what i saw, really. but to see that we were neglected kinda hurt. and i didn't want to be annoying because, well- i was the one to break the ice the month before and jus-
yeah. i dunno, so officially dropping this account like- just about a month ago really. two hours and twenty three minutes over a month ago. wow. it took a lot of stress of me- it's surprising how much all this shit effected me too. it's embarrassing to say that i actually cried that night that i sent the text, and the night before. and the week before. just honestly it effected me harder than i ever imagined, because i always thought that if things were to end, they wouldn't be on such a passive note. and that's what sucks because really, the amount of feelings and effort and just everything in between that was poured into this character physically drained me all thanks to the relationship she was in.
in the end it just sucks really, to see that even after all that you've yet to even say anything. to see that you let it go like it was nothing. but oh well i guess.
