there’s a momentary lapse as gemma sifts through the tabs of her mind , organizing pages into chronology , sorting through documents of information she’d acquiesced throughout the last month or so . geez , there really is a lot to tell her , isn’t there ? and she’s not sure where to even start . the beginning is best , she assumes . swallows thickly and reciprocates the chuckle of satire , musters a spiderwebbed grin which fails to weave through to her eyes . the beginning . she can do that .
« it is bad . she’s alive , yeah . but at what cost ? » memories created through bloodshed and tears , through the mouths of her beloveds , she’s more intertwined in krystal crock’s life than she’d ever been before . been there with jj that first night , when — « jessica drew legally adopted your sister on her twenty first birthday . her friends threw her a party . it was supposed to be – should’ve been – a good night . only . . . » ( she’s only the messenger . these aren’t her stories to tell . these aren’t her people to stalk . privacy to invade . she shouldn’t , she really shouldn’t . )
« —- only . there was a fight , and krys ran off , upset . apparently , she walked in on something she really didn’t want to see . there’s this girl – avery barton . and , well . krys told her she’s in love with her that night . and avery was on a ton of drugs . and my brother’s partner – » ( not her story . ) « it was a mess . and krys flipped because she was lied to and betrayed , i think . and her adoptive mom wasn’t there . i’m pretty sure she was drunk . so no one helped her , except this guy who i assume is her arch nemesis or something – he has a lot of history with avery – and jessica jones , who krys doesn’t even remember , and basically hates . anyways . »
she shakes her head , worrying her lip between jagged teeth . she’d stretched out the first bit to stall until the proceeding events , but there’s no postponing the truth anymore . « she didn’t go home with her mom that night . actually , she stayed with a family friend for about a week . came home and then . . . » breathe , gems . « then some incidents started happening . she verbally attacked one of the girls she’s seeing . physically attacked several other girls . she attacked her adoptive brother , my boyf – varik . attacked avery , even . almost killed her , too . and then she , well . . . “ there’s an unspoken apology in those seafoam hues . « put one of those friends in the hospital . in a coma . but your sister doesn’t remember any of it , and – »
delicate fingers unlace from their grip around samantha’s and instead cup the brunette’s cheeks . in the crock’s eyes she searches for some glimmer of hope amidst the overwhelming darkness . « – and she thinks she’s a monster , sammie . she’s beating herself up inside . she’s – a wreck . you don’t know the half of it . neither do i , honestly . and now ares is here . jeez , she’s already losing her crap . . . just be careful , okay ? i couldn’t live with myself if you go speak to her and anything happens to you , too . »
samantha remains quiet as gemma speaks, doesn’t interject or interrupt. lets her tell everything she needs to say. even after she finishes, as the other brunette removes her hand from sam’s grip to cup her face, the crock remains quiet. she can feel her heart stuttering in her chest--- both from EVERYTHING gemma’s just told her and the way the other’s hand feels against her.
( there’s a lot to process here. but one thing sam does pick up on, one thing she files away to deal with later is the fact gemma almost said boyfriend. it’s been two years. two years of no contact. never knowing if she could come out of hiding. of course--- of course she’d move on. that was fair. sam wouldn’t hold it against her. sam wanted her to be happy. she’d deal with the fact gemma doesn’t want to tell her about him later, though. )
the bottle brunette swallows, taking a shuddering breath before dissolving into a sharp, cynical peel of laughter. her shoulders shake, “ god. you weren’t kidding. i have the worst timing, don’t i? “ and the laughter is choked, strained--- before it cuts off into a half sob. sam’s given up part of her life for her sister. gave up being around gemma, being free, being around ANYONE for krys. to make sure sam couldn’t be used against her or visa versa. she’s spent most of her life watching out for her. and it’s--- it’s like it’s all for nothing now. it feels like that. someone’s gotten to her anyway. using her coding against her.
pale palms press against her eyes, wiping at the hot tears that leak out from the corners of blue-green eyes. get it together, samantha. now’s not the time to cry. now’s not the time for pity or angst or--- anything. she has to help her sister. has to--- figure a way to fix her sister. has to--- has to at least keep ares away from her. ( keep ares away from herself. she knows if he knew--- if he knew she was here--- he’d try to drag her back home without a moment’s hesitation. and she’d kill herself before she was brought back to her father. )
“ sorry, “ she moans out after a moment, hands dropping from her face. she breathes. “ the incidents--- she can’t remember anything? it’s not her. that’s her--- she has a failsafe. to revert her back to her core programming--- what cadmus wanted her to be. “ sportsmaster used it on krys to take sam home. she can remember the frost swallowing her whole still. “ she won’t--- “ she doesn’t know if she won’t hurt her. “ i can take care of myself. she won’t kill me. i just--- i have to warn her and see her, gems. i have to. “
and then there’s a pause, her hand moving to rest against gemma’s own her face. sam breathes, steadies herself. she loves gemma. she does. “ thank you for watching out for her. thank you so much--- but i’ve got it now, gemma. just--- watch out for yourself. ares--- i’m sure he’s going to--- “ go after you. “ ---he’s not going to forgive you for taking me away. “
