Prospect Hills

by Lina Lu Root, CEO of PROSPECT HILLS, LLC (formerly "The Concerned Neighbors of Graveside") and Principal of ROOT REAL inc. property management, real estate and development.

[guardian]

Robin used to keep chickens in his backyard, and pigeons on the roof of his Park Slope, Brooklyn, brownstone. The chickens for eggs, the pigeons for sport. 

He isn’t allowed either anymore.

“When the new people started moving into this neighborhood, buying up the buildings, they started demanding changes. They got rid of the chickens first. Then they complained about the pigeons. I was the last guy to be able to keep them. These new folks love their animals and spend crazy amounts on them, as long as it’s cats and dogs.”

[guardian]

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Photo: Chris Arnade

[prospecthills]

No chickens allowed in Prospect Hills, please.

[prospecthills]

Haha. So "funny" I forgot to laugh. I don't know who the cartoonist is that came up with this crap for NEW YORK magazine but remind me to kick him in the balls. It's not accurate. Although robberies have held steady, aggravated assaults are way down over the past year.

[prospecthills]

His soul swooned softly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.

James Joyce, THE DEAD

[cjwho]

[zimmermanrealestate]

A Cabin in the Woods where 1 Man goes unplugged.

[prospecthills]

LIVING the DREAM: wouldn't it be amazing to be SUPER RICH and SUPER self-absorbed enough to be this guy?

Ahh... To not have anyone to care for except yourself. To shed all of the "stress" of being a single white rich guy in a clean, babbling brook.

[stubes182]

[prospecthills]

Graffitti is not art. It’s a step above a dog peeing on a fire hydrant

[stubes182]

You’ve obviously never tried doing graffiti. There is a sense of art, even in forms of vandalism.

[stubes182]

Hating punk ass bitch

[prospecthills]

Just keep your scribbles in your crusty-ass neighborhood. Do it on one of my buildings and this hating bitch will burn you.

[stubes182]

I actually live in a great neighborhood. and it seems like I just have more respect for the art form that the scribbles are a part of. And just so I can stay away… What part of Americas anus are you from?

[prospecthills]

Oh, GOOD. You’re staying away! That’s what Prospect Hills needs: baggy pants thugs who destroy property out, young professionals with jobs IN.

[stubes182]

So you want me in then? Because obviously you have no clue on who I am and what I’m like. Sure I may seem like a punk because of the bitch comment, but what’s with the jumping to conclusions in my character and appearance. It’s very judgmental and not professional at all. Trust me you’d be surprised and probably wouldn’t believe it if you met me. Oh and I don’t have a single pair of baggy pants, our skinny jeans for that matter. Ive held a steady job at a small family business for years. I feel embarrassed for you that you judged my entire character off of that comment… Really, try to restore some faith in humanity and give people some chances…

[prospecthills]

Yes. You do indeed sound like a punk. But I’d consider renting to you IF I was convinced you’d seen the error of your ways, promised to never tag any of my buildings, and gave me a cut of any drugs you are dealing on my property.

[stubes182]

Excuse me? Who the Fuck are you and why do you have such a twisted perspective on youth? First of all I do not sell drugs, second I would never live in a place you own because you seem like a nightmare to deal with, and lastly, what exactly are the errors of my ways? I’m really starting to doubt your credibility as a mature adult…

[prospecthills]

I never said I had credibility or was mature. But regardless...I run Prospect Hills and the rules are -NO Graffitti (it's not art) -NO homeless (I'm having them bused to jersey.) -NO homeless who sniff model airplane glue. -NO droopy baggy pants. -NO flat visored caps -NO junkies -NO drug slinging unless I get a cut. -NO clothing made out of the Puerto Rican flag.

Got that?

[prospecthills]

Ok Prospect Hills grandmas... Enough with the tacky windowsill tchotchkies! Research shows that each porcelain elephant brings down a property value by 10% and glass menageries by 20%.

[prospecthills]

https://twitter.com/linareyreal/status/446491532334338048 I'm offering two months FREE rent to anyone who helps me muscle out the heroine dealers in apt. 3c. I don't care about the heroine dealing perSe, just the shitty zombies that come to the building to score.

[prospecthills]

Although Enrique, the pimp, always paid me the rent on time, I'm glad to see them go. Yes neighbors, it's true: The Ecuadorian storefront brothel finally got raided...thanks to an "anonymous" (wink wink) Tip from a neighbor. Underaged sex slaves: FREED! Yay! The best part is that I get to keep their deposit. But one pockfaced pimp's loss is another entrepreneur's gain. I'm passing the savings onto you! Just two months moves you in. 836sqft on a side street with decent foot traffic for $3k. Tapas bars, Day spas, gourmet bakeries WELCOME! FULL DISCLOSURE: space needs a good cleaning. I already had the place hosed down but it still kind of smells...well...like loveless fucking.

[wanderingnewyork]

A house in Oakwood Heights.

[prospecthills]

I love this guy's boring no frills look at different Brooklyn neighborhoods. But wanderingnewyork should totally wander over to prospecthills and check us out. We're a lost neighborhood that's kind of rough around the edges but has got plenty of potential. And we WILL #gentrifyin90days, right guys?

[prospecthills]

If anything is worth doing, do it with all your heart.

Buddha

[prospecthills]

Working late tonight... Come by and say Hi.

[prospecthills]

Bullshit. No Prospect Hills? Why doesn't anyone know about this neighborhood? It's WAY undervalued. GRRRR.

[torontocrow-deactivated20140330]

[prospecthills]

at the center of the #dracula story is a #realestate scheme and the hero Harker is a #realtor lawyer.

[jauretsi]

Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision

Ayn Rand (via jauretsi)

[prospecthills]

If you discover a secret passage (like this one) under your building, DO NOT go see where it leads. Trust me.

[prospecthills]

Old pic of me wandering through vacant apartments. Back then the occupancy rate at the Lenore was like 40%.

[prospecthills]

As a realtor, trust me... It is a real PAIN in the ass it is to unload a house with ghosts.