cherry wine. @protectedhim-blog - Tumblr Blog

@weresafe liked for a starter.

lithe fingers hold his phone, faint sounds of a bike’s engine stemming from its speakers. he scrolls through the comments, rereading each--the numbers are gradually growing with each new video. an almost SERENE smile adorns chapped lips as head lifts to gaze at the other.

“ you did a really good job on the last video. i haven’t gotten this many comments before. “

#i hope this is ok!! xo #weresafe

f-ire-fly

#sn u GGL ES!!!!! !! !#* just a lost boy.

sunnieblues

HEAVEN - Troye Sivan

#this song is so..............lukas i CRY #* like a mantra in his head.

@sawhim liked for a starter.

“ your mom is nice. “ he speaks with a smile, blue eyes raking over the boy beside him-- a sense of contentment overtaking him in the moment. sometimes he finds himself LOST in philip; always wanting to see him, be with him, and to know him. there’s so much to him that lukas wants.

#i lvoe them #sawhim

chosenforthis.

❛ MY GOD. ❜

exasperated stare only broken when the other drops his own. he doesn’t bother fetching the fallen ; he merely stares down at the blond who’s trembling hands scramble for the books on the floor. Eyes drift UP at the sound of the thud and his BROW heightens. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Then again, most people around here have the mind of INFANTS. Apparently.

❛ YEAH, ❜ he says, still looking at the door. ❛ You were certainly doing something else.❜

blond head lifts at his words, fear instantly flowing through his veins. he can feel the DROP of his stomach; something akin to an explosion from within, signifying the dread brimming the surface. he doesn’t move to look at the other, head shaking while he ultimately makes things worse for himself. “ i don’t know what you’re talking about. “ and there’s a nervous laugh while shaky palms hold out the books to him.

#OH M Y GOD YOUR REPLY KILL E D ME THIS IS SO FUNNY TBH #omg they really do tho......like actual twins #tbh like lukas/philip is very draco/harry and i'm Here for that #chosenforthis #v: hp.

@chosenforthis liked for a starter.

the boy rushes out of the cupboard too hastily to look, so lanky figure knocks into another and books tumble to the ground. blue eyes meet with grey, staring for no less than 10 seconds before bending down to gather the dropped items. lukas begins to mutter his sorrys and i wasn’t paying attentions, stopping only when he hears the faint thud of the closet door closing once more. ( that would be philip. )

“ sorry about that, i wasn’t looking. “

#chosenforthis #okok so i don't have a hp verse set up yet?? but slytherin lukas in a secret relationship w muggleborn hufflepuff philip!!!#i hope this is okay!! xo #v: hp.

natalieweepoetry

you’re in love with a knife fight and his lips taste like gunpowder. his heart is a battlefield demanding attention, his mind a dismantled tragedy, but his love is like the whole world electric and the sun laid at your feet. he says: i’ll hurt you, and kisses you like someone who hates looking in mirrors. feral boy loves you with his claws tucked in. feral boy loves you without teeth, dreaming himself a labyrinth and handing you the sword. you knew how blood tasted on your tongue, but never from a fresh heart. he put it there, palms open, eyes slivered. this is the most precious thing you have ever been given. this is the most precious you have ever been made to feel. kiss him so hard your jaw aches. say:i am not afraid of the marks your hands will leave. touch me. the bruises from your mouth are the only ones i’ve ever welcomed.

when a sad boy loves an angry boy // natalie wee

(when an angry boy loves a sad boy)

#oh No #* like a mantra in his head.

i have like 0 followers but consider this a starter call B)

#* ooc.

sawhim.

something flutters in philip’s chest when lukas takes his sleeve, something that would burst and stop beating if the other boy had grabbed his hand instead— his heart, his head; his body, and his goddamn soul. philip didn’t believe much in love before he came to dutchess county. didn’t believe in it even with the first step he took into red hook high school. for love to him had been something made up for stories. for disney movies. for rich people who could afford a happy ending. love? didn’t exist… until lukas showed up ; and made everything he touched … suddenly appear in color, rather then in black and white.

and fuck him for doing that, fuck lukas waldenbeck. why did it have to be him? why did it have to be a guy, he knows … feels something ; but refuses to admit it? philip, he could handle the sky falling on his shoulders. but this? this he didn’t think he could. yet despite it all, with a tick in his jaw, and a heavy swallow … he sturdies himself, because that’s all he knows how to do.

it’s like when they saw the murder. lukas was afraid, terrified. and so was philip. but he had to stay strong for his ‘wouldbe lover’. for this boy who meant so much to him, despite the little amount of time they had known each other. and so he had stood like steel. yet now, in this moment he wanes. facial expression faltering to a bitter sadness, that eats away at his heart when he sees in his head, lukas looking at him with rose perched a top his lap. when in his dreams, there was someone else there ; and it wasn’t her, it was himself.

❛ … i’m not leaving— ❜

the pounding of his heart is unfamiliar, each beat sounding fairly similar to bullets leaving a gun. with each pound he feels like he’s DYING-- the emotions overwhelming the boy. who knew love could hurt this much? he certainly didn’t. however, as hesitant palms move from fabric to skin, he doesn’t want the pounding to stop. death by love is far better than dying at the hands of the man they saw kill those guys.

there’s a slight shake to lithe fingers, gently moving across philip’s cheek. he almost pulls away upon feeling the soft skin there; he doesn’t deserve to have this boy here with him. lukas wants to take it back--meeting the other, for the sake of philip’s happiness, but he’s SELFISH and he doesn’t move. instead, he only proceeds further. breaths mingle, and eyes don’t move from where they stare into him. decoding them this is not an easy task for the boy. he knows it feels wrong and right in all the same places; but how can he know which is the valid way to feel?

“ philip...i--i don’t want to stop this...us... “ words are sincere, but spoken with trepidation. most of the time, his words only make situations worse; he doesn’t want this to be one of those times.

#haha :) im suffering #sawhim

hermiunes

#* just a lost boy.#* he's the reason.#I Cry Everyday

sawhim.

that’s not what philip meant, and lukas knew it— pointed brown gaze, turns hard as he pulls slender leg over and off from the bike. a kickstand moments earlier, nudged by a converse clad heel to dig into the earth below; keeping the thing standing. it was more stable than he was that’s for sure. sometimes philip feels like he’s falling apart. but for his mom (in the past), and for lukas (in the present)— he could be sturdy. like atlas holding the earth upon his shoulders, philip would endure. not that he much had a choice in the matter.

heart twists, and his gaze adverts from the blond; towards the sky where birds fly free, like he wishes he could. if only he could escape dutchess county, escape the feelings he held for the people here … and feel weightless. but not once in his life has he ever felt so. he’s always felt heavy. for as long as he can remember he’d been carrying the weight, of a grown man’s world when he was just a boy. and now comes love.

he wants to cut his heart out and rid himself of the pain. but even if he did, the throbbing would continue. watching rose and lukas— it made him sick. made every part of his mind scream, yet he’d stood there. and done as was planned. only when he turned away, and hid behind that tree could he breath again. breath, and try to ignore the urge in his mind to imagine it was his scent that lukas was inhaling. his lips against his own, and not rose’s.

❛ yeah, sure. ❜

immediately he knows he shouldn’t have said that. why can’t he learn to keep his mouth shut? an ache in his chest blooms upon seeing the other’s face fall-- there’s an impossible wish to keep him smiling. gaze flickers from the ground to him and back; struggling to find the words to make this better, put things back they way they should be. his mom would know how to put this puzzle together, she always did.

with haste, he moves towards the other boy. shaky fingers grasp his sleeve and he tugs, wanting him to stay. please stay. heart pounds with nerves and something akin to love. time is all he needs-- to sort out the confusion and hatred flowing through veins. he needs to know that his feelings are valid, that the way he feels for the other boy is okay. why can’t his heart pound like this for rose? she never made him feel this way. he’s mystified with the way he feels.

“ i don’t know how i feel, okay? i’ve never felt like this before and i’m...confused. i just know that i need you and i don’t want you to leave. please, philip... “ his voice cracks, unsure of the words leaving chapped lips. the ache in his chest only grows and steady breathing doesn’t come easy.

#B))#sawhim

sawhim.

it were dark, the night sky having swallowed up the small of their town ; and entirety of dutchess county. it was highly unlike the city, where lights reached even down to the gutter philip had called home. but he liked it … liked it for a single reason. a reason, that maybe even kept him here. not that he could run very far. where would he go? — to his mother? no, that would be the first place that they (helen and gabe) would look. so, what was it that kept him here? it might be gabe. he was nice enough, more of a father to him than any boyfriend of his mother’s. but it wasn’t him. it was lukas. lukas, who made his head spin and his heart twist. love is painful, incredibly so … maybe if he’d known before hand, he wouldn’t have fallen so easily into it.

𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒇 𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆

❛ i’m not jumping over any tubs, any time soon— ❜

mind races, flitting between a never ending monologue of every feature and every action of the boy with him and a loathing to himself. he wonders what his father would think upon seeing the two here together-- or his friends? a beautiful girl clung to his arm and willing to have sex with him, but yet he’s here with PHILIP, enjoying himself more than he ever could with her. in the front of his mind, overpowering the rest, stands one question; what is wrong with him?