Ask the Proxies

Creepypasta ask page. Non-Proxies are also avaliable, but will take longer to respond to if there are other questions. I did not draw the pfp. I don't know who drew it. If you know the artist, please let me know so I may give credit. I am 18. While I do not care how old you are, sexual questions from anyone will not be tolerated.

[proxies-answer]

I made these. Aren't they beautiful?

"..."

"Maybe if we back away, they won't notice"

"Shhhh"

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Bleep Blurp bleep bleep Beep

"I like this guy"

"... god damn it. The things back"

"Hey, I think its nice Toby made a friend"

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other than (obviously) the associations you have with each other, do any of you have external interpersonal relationships?

not necessarily friendships, even something as simple as a gas station employee who you talk to or a barmaid who has your order memorized.

"Uh, no, getting our faces recognized by anyone is a no go. We try not to stick around towns long enough for that to happen."

"Greg."

"... Greg???"

"Greg."

"Are you gonna explain or..."

"No"

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If each of you were a pokemon, which one would you be ?

"Haunter, get it, cuz I-"

"Yeah, got it.

...

"Because I died!"

"I GOT IT!"

"Cubone"

"I would have thought you'd go for something more uh... you."

"Cubone."

"Are you gonna explain yourself o-"

"No."

"Anyway... Arcanine"

"Really? New gen?"

"Okay, you hang out with your ghost Pokémon while I grill a burger on the fire my Pokémon just lit and stay warm, then we'll see who's got a dumb pick"

"You could have picked Growlithe at least."

"Sorry, did I criticize you for picking a dinosaur with its dead mother's skull on its head?"

"EY- IT MISSES ITS GOD DAMN MOM, FUCK YOU!"

"YOU BITCH ABOUT YOUR MOM ALL THE TIME, YA GONNA GO WEAR HER BONES ABOUND LIKE A FREAK?"

"IMMA WEAR YOUR SKULL TIMOTHY"

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Question for all of you What was one of your favorite moments on a mission?

"I like the drives. Quiet when Toby isn't there. Get some good 80s playing? Snacks? Even better when you can't smell the body."

"There was this, fuckass mom I was supposed to get, got in, started clearing up a bit of junk, money, jewelry, all that fun stuff. Came in her room, her kids were at their dads, she did my job for me. Love it when assholes give themselves their own punishments. She was loaded too. I still got a lot of her money tucked away"

"Dunno, Im never out for them. Squeamish. Hoodie isn't though I think he likes... uh... man, I dunno, he just gets in and gets out"

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Alright, sorry. Ima be serious, no more bloop bloop.

How are you all ?

"How do you think?"

"Pretty okay! A bit of back pain, but thats normal considering I should be dead from my fall, and I was!"

"Hah, pain, imagine having to deal with that."

"... you had an infection in your thigh for several weeks before anyone noticed."

"But I didn't feel it"

"Thats the ENTIRE problem!"

"Skill issue."

"what does that even-"

"Don't ask questions, you're only left more confused Timbot"

"Its like he speaks in rhymes that don't rhyme."

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Whats your most embarrassing moment?

Brian:

"Mmmh... Sally really, really likes The Wizard of Oz. None of the girls wanted to dress up as Glinda. Someone- I really don't know who- Got this giant hamster ball, shoved me and a dress in there. I ended up rolling through an obstacle course for the better half of an hour in a big poofy dress. I still have it, and, hey, it made Sal happy. Can't be that embarrassing if its for a dead little girl."

"Brian got stuck in the mud pit because he fell flat on his ass."

"CORRECTION! The heels made me slip in the ball."

"Still fell in the mud pit and screamed like a little girl"

"Ey, I have never heard Sal scream, don't slander the little girls she represents."

"I think Wright still has a video of that"

"Id be surprised if he didn't."

Tim:

"All the shit that got uploaded onto YouTube. ... At least everyone thinks its a film project."

"Is it bad that I don't remember... any of that?"

"Lucky, lets trade brains."

"Nah, Im content with having 'got knocked out while pissing' unmarked on my bucket list"

"... You weren't even there for that"

"You what-"

"NOTHING!"

"... Im getting the laptop!"

"STAY AWAY FROM MY SHIT-"

Toby:

"I got kidnapped by this group of teenagers and was force-fed waffles for hours on end. I threw up... 5 times. Horrific, I can't look at them the same ever again."

"You were eating a plate of them last week."

"Ah, but I didn't look at them, my eyes were closed."

"Yer a fuckin weird kid."

"OI-"

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Bloop bloop ?

"... what?"

"Bleep blorp"

"Toby, don't encourage them"

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Since Toby already got asked... Brian! How do you feel about Toby and Tim?

"Well, considering Tim let me fall to my death and Im still with him... I'd say I care about him deeply. Toby, he's a good kid. Got a lotta issues, but that sorta comes with the job. I do wish the two of them would stop fighting. I believe it upsets Hoodie just as much as it upsets me, although he's not really... vocal, about it... heh"

"Booo, you should be ashamed of yourself"

"Really? I thought that was hilarious."

"Thank you! See Tobes? If Tim likes my puns they aren't that bad"

"I don't like either of you."

"Bri, sarcasm. I don't think you playing on Hoodies lack of speech is funny. He's horrible to talk to. His shrugs mean 29 different things and he gets mad at me when I don't understand him"

"... he thought it was funny."

"You, have the excuse of sharing your head with him, the fuck am I supposed to do???"

"... feel the vibes?"

"His vibes are rank."

"What does that even mean???"

"Rank vibes."

"Have you tried... listening to him?"

"... HE DOESN'T TALK!"

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Toby, do... do you ever miss your mom?

"I... don't really remember her. It gets fuzzy after a while. I know where she lives. She's with my aunt in the south. Probably wanted to... ah, distance herself. Can't blame her. Either way, its too far of a drive to check on her and I don't like solo trips. Makes the voices too loud. I stalk her on Wrights laptop sometimes. Everyone wants to talk to the mother, whos 'baby' turned out wrong. It's been years now and she's still getting questions about the incident."

There's a soft rustling noise and a creak of a chair, "I comment sometimes. Tell her she looks good in a photo, just to break up through the other comments. She doesn't know its me, obviously, I'm not stupid enough to let her know. She got remarried. Had a brand new kid. Some... I dunno, I think she named her Erin. She posts pictures of her sometimes. Doesn't seem too fucked up in any way and her... wife, I guess, is nice. Didn't even know that was an option".

There's a long silence, broken only by soft grunts and fingers drumming on the desk.

"Yeah, I miss her"

[proxies-answer]

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"Don't start that shit. I just got the kid to stop doing it"

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Toby, how do you feel about Brian and Tim?

"Why do you need to know? How do you feel about dog shit in your food?"

.

..

...

"I like Brian. He brings me snacks, sometimes. Tells good stories too. Wright... he's... I couldn't give less of a shit. Makes me eat junk I don't want."