[prscttrulz]

✶ / fictive blog intro. 𓄃

NATHAN PRESCOTT — fictive . source connected . osdd . protector & gatekeeper . not a role-play blog / your f/o .

about me: hello, my name is Nathan. this is a blog I decided to create like a few hours ago. I am a member of a system, one that doesn't have a main blog and would like to remain anonymous while I go solo and post whatever I want. I don't have much to say about myself . I can start with saying to interact respectfully, I'm fine with answering asks and getting to know people but seriously keep it respectful. I'm still figuring myself out so this blog is a chance for me to detail my feelings and thoughts whenever I'm out. I don't expect a crazy amount of interaction on this blog but an intro helps people know what they're dealing with. other fictives and introjects are more than welcome to interact with me. we are bodily 21, and I'm between 18-21. don't ask, I really don't know aside from the fact I'm sure I'm an adult. so therefore, 18+ only.

dni criteria: homophobia, racism, and other basic dni criteria applies. if you are interacting with this blog to get a boyfriend, don't. it's legitimately so not happening. please also do not ask about complex trauma because I'm obviously not going to tell you any of that, yes it has happened before.

temporary and ugly intro post lol.

[prscttrulz]

small edits I made to convey how trapped I've been feeling lately. the binoculars in my room to create a sense of constant surveillance, and my incident report that documents me lashing out.

[prscttrulz]

The urge to drive far away in the middle of the night and go completely missing is strong tonight.

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Do I need to make more friends? Yes. Are we too nervous? Also yes.

[prscttrulz]

I just had the weirdest fucking occurrence in my life. There were Pirates? Zoro misses Nami? I can't even fully describe what the fuck is going on because that alone feels like a lot. That was not my dream and it wasn't my host's either we don't think.

[prscttrulz]

I had a nightmare that I posted on here speaking evily about the crimes my source has committed and that I got arrested. Usually I don't get source related dreams, so it was jarring. I was at Blackwell, in my dorm, listening to music that I listen to now. I think the music is what freaks me out most somehow. It was the one thing that made me realize that I wasn't.. myself? Or rather, I knew I wasn't really my source. It was weird being in my own body but feeling strange about it.

It was sunset too. I looked down at my phone and there tumblr was, my page, open but different in some ways. And a criminal confession on tumblr which is insane. Sent me into a panic because I know that it was me that wrote it but.. the other me? Dreams are fucked.

[seillean-sys]

Looking back on your life pre-awareness is crazy because what do you mean I’d be in the middle of full hyperventilating crying breakdowns and then a split (haha) second later be dry eyed and like “damn I’m hungry”

[prscttrulz]

Everyone get a bong if you don't have one already.

Prescott has a bong, you should have a bong.

[prscttrulz]

Being an introject is so damn strange. I miss everyone i knew including myself. Yes, I miss me. Every time I see an image of myself or a drawing of myself I just stare at it for a while like I'm some proud parent or something. Not to mention sometimes I actually struggle to make full sentences that are grammatically correct like english isn't our first and only language. Weird mirror things i guess.

[prscttrulz]

what do you think when you see edits / fan art ?

When I see fanart or edits, it really depends on what the artist or editor is trying to convey. I find that a lot of fan artists are really good at their craft so a lot of it is enjoyable, sometimes it actually feels like going to an art gallery and having a still taken from your life when an artist is really on point vibe wise. I tend to like art when it surprises me by making me think about myself from an outside angle if that makes sense? Most of the time the only art i really don't feel a connection to at all is ship art.

In relation to edits, I tend to really like edits of me because of the combination of music, art, and pictures. My host is a big music person and I really like music too so seeing someone put all those mediums together into a short creative clip is usually always a treat. I haven't seen any edits that I can say I've disliked or any that have made me wary. For the most part, I've only seen really good ones that once again, make me think of myself from an outside perspective. Perception is such a big thing as i know not a lot of people technically like my source in concept, so seeing people edit, make art, and talk about my source in a complex manner always interests me to see.

I mainly just think about how crazy something feels if it feels accurate to me. there's an artist on here that I follow and they honestly give me visual representation of how I feel a lot of the time. They haven't posted in a while but there's one art they made of me and max sitting and talking–that feels accurate to me. Not because my source was originally close to max, but because those sort of source memories and emotions I have are really jumbled. So yeah, it's all just food for thought and sometimes it feels like having a polaroid of something that should've been or sort of was.

[prscttrulz]

Photos from my walk back home, I have quite literally so many projects to do and we have work tomorrow because we couldn't get out of it. Yawn.

[prscttrulz]

Had a dream that I finally got that cigarette i wanted. A cure for the itch, I guess. Existing is so strange - i always feel like i should be doing more for my host? Like, I should be a separate person to be there for him more rather than being the same person. I mean.. technically I am a separate person. It's just weird. He gives me so much freedom to be me and he's the first person to do that. He bought me my own camera, let's me talk about my feelings, and let's me co-front / front to the max.

When he talks about me I'm not some negative thing. Instead, I'm just Nathan. I can just be me and that's fucking incredible

[prscttrulz]

[prscttrulz]

First photos I took with my new camera, amateur photography hours. If anyone is curious what camera it is, it's the camp snap pro (cs-pro).

[prscttrulz]

Crisis averted, camera has arrived in the mail room. Now I have to wait 10 million years for them to finally process it and tell me to come get it.

[pearsmth]

I want to vandalize something so bad with my friend Nathan but I'm unsure if he'd be up for it at all. he's one of my headmates so it's not like it would be hard BUT morals always apply @prscttrulz let's do some graffiti pleaaaaase

[prscttrulz]

The way you made this an email even though we share the same brain is such a funny choice that it's making me laugh. Yeah, I'm guessing you mean inside? We can do whatever man

[prscttrulz]

what do you mean my camera isn't arriving yet because of a delay.