Prudent Perspective

Memoirs and poems of a Kiwi who left her hailed country for the city of lights in 2020.

[prudentperspective]

How to Celebrate a Winter Christmas in Paris

‘Tis the season and those in the northern hemisphere are wrapping up in their winter best, drinking mulled wine under sparkling lights, and indulging in comfort food. However, for those in the southern hemisphere, the Christmas season is quite the opposite.

I moved from New Zealand to Paris in September 2020. Just a few months later, I experienced my first-ever winter Christmas. Back home, Christmas time falls at the start of our summer. Therefore, for the 22 years before I’d spent the holiday season on sandy beaches and enjoying long summer nights outdoors.

Like many Kiwis, a normal Christmas day for me would usually involve a big barbeque lunch, followed by a trip to the beach, and then a rowdy outdoor dinner. The festive vibe in my corner of the globe is a balmy one. Even our depiction of Santa alludes to it. Fast forward to December 2020 and I found myself piling on layers instead of slipping into a summer dress. The catch is, I loved it. There is something magical about a winter Christmas that summer cannot quite grasp.

For those who are new to the winter experience like me, or if you’re just a Christmas enthusiast, here are some things you can do to truly embrace the winter magic of Christmas in Paris.

Visit the Big Department Stores

Keeping the chilly winter weather in mind, an easy way to stay warm while seizing Christmas delight is by visiting the displays at some of the big Parisian department stores. Some of the best include BHV Marais, Le Bon Marché, and Printemps, all of which dress up their windows and interiors with elaborate and beautiful displays each year. However, my personal favorite is Galeries Lafayette, where you’ll find a giant and colorful Christmas tree perfectly placed under its central dome.

Check Out the Light Displays

Moving from inside to outdoors, many of Paris’ famous boulevards and streets transform into dazzling scenes at Christmas. Most famous is le Champs-Élysées, which lights itself up with millions of bulbs in an assortment of Christmas colors and illuminations. Some other places where you’ll find brilliant and beautiful light displays are on Boulevard Haussmann, Place Vendôme, and Bercy Village.

Go to the Christmas Markets

Paris’ famous Christmas markets are making a comeback after being cancelled last year due to Covid. Enjoy more light spectacles, shop for Christmas nick-nacks, and munch on some delicious food at markets in Hôtel de Ville, Saint-Germain-des-Prés, or La Défense. However, for the ultimate market experience, head to La Magie de Noël at the Jardin des Tuileries, which is jam-packed with winter shenanigans, Christmas-themed rides, small gift shops, and more.

Enjoy Some Ice Skating

For the more adventurous, Paris rolls out dozens of ice skating rinks around Christmas. You’ll find many rinks in the markets listed above, however I recommend visiting the rink at Bercy Village, or if you’re wanting something more extreme, head to La Defense and skate at 110m high on top of its Grande Arche.

Enjoy a Festive Meal Out

Wintertime always calls for comfort food – especially during Christmas. If you’re not in the mood to cook a winter feast this year, many Paris restaurants are open on Christmas Eve and Day, prepped with special festive menus. Check out Paris staples such as Le Marché du Lucas or Le Train Bleu. However, if you’re wanting a truly unforgettable experience, reserve yourself a spot for Christmas lunch or dinner on a bateau-mouche and cruise along the Seine with stunning views of Paris as well as a fine meal.

Sample Vin Chaud & Other Christmas Goodies in Montmartre

Searching for that dreamy Paris Christmas vibe? There is no better place to head than Montmartre. You’ll find yet another magical market here at Abbesses. Head up the hill towards Place de Tertre for even more Christmas festivities as well as delicious vin chaud stands (mulled wine) to keep you warm on a cold night. Better yet, take your hot drink to the steps of the Sacré-Coeur and enjoy a view of all the Christmas lights scattered across Paris.

Indulge in Winter Sweet Treats

It wouldn’t be Christmas without sweet treats, and of course the French do them very well. A few classics include roasted chestnuts and pain d’épices (gingerbread), but the mother of all French Christmas desserts is the bûche de Noël (a log-shaped sponge cake). This elaborately decorated dessert is a Christmas staple across France and can be found in almost all boulangeries and patisseries during the holiday season. The chocolate log is a crowd favorite, and you can find a variety of flavors including vanilla, pistachio, berry, and more.

Photo credits: fevrier-photography

This article originally was written by Verity McRae for HIP Paris.

[prudentperspective]

What to do in Paris’ Pigalle Neighborhood

Not long ago, Pigalle, Paris’ former red-light district had a naughty reputation. Fast forward to 2021, this lively area located at the base of Montmartre has reinvented itself as one of the city’s trendiest quartiers.

Pigalle’s once grimy bars have transformed into hipster establishments accompanied by a wide array of artesian coffee shops, tasty restaurants, and stylish shops. To make it easier to find the best spots in the neighborhood, I’ve compiled a brief guide to this re-vamped quartier in the city of lights:

Pigalle Classics

To start your day off, head along Pigalle’s main boulevard and you’ll find one of Paris’ most underrated museums: The Phono Museum. This 140 year old music lovers haven is jam packed with old timey music boxes, antique gramophones and rare vinyl. Be sure to check out the vintage record shop located at the back of the museum to take home a musical memento

When night falls, it’s worth a trip to Pigalle to check out the famous Le Moulin Rouge cabaret. However, the real must-do comes after the glitter smothered show in a tucked away bar nestled behind the Moulin Rouge’s turbines. Le Bar à Bulls is the perfect spot to debrief after the spectacle on the Japanese styled terrace overlooking the busy boulevard.  

The Phono Museum : 10 rue Lallier, 75009

Le Moulin Rouge: 82 Boulevard de Clichy, 75018

Le Bar à Bulls: 4Bis Cité Véron, 75018 Paris

Where to eat in Pigalle

Whatever food you’re craving, Pigalle will have you covered. For a classic French fix, check out Le Bon Bock and be taken back in time to the 19th century. Said to be one of the oldest restaurants in the area, Le Bon Bock serves delicious traditional French cuisine in a cozy wooden eatery.

For non-meat eaters, Pigalle has one of the best vegan restaurants in Paris. Check out brEATHE for incroyable plant based sweet treats and vegetarian dishes that are not only tasty but delightfully instagramable.

Craving something slightly less healthy but still delicious? Head to Dumbo on rue Jean-Baptiste Pigalle for one of the best smash style burgers around. And for those who can’t decide what it is they feel like munching, simply stroll down rue des Martyrs: an iconic Parisienne street stuffed with cafes, fromageries, boulangeries, restaurants, delicatessens, and almost anything your hungry brain can think of.

Le Bon Bock – 2 Rue Dancourt, 75018

brEATHE – 16 Rue Henry Monnier, 75009

Dumbo – 64 rue Jean-Baptiste Pigalle, 75009

Where to drink in Pigalle

If you’re more down for some apéro and cocktails, there is plenty of choice in Pigalle.

For penny pinchers, head to rue Frochot and check out Lipstick or B9. Both have great happy hour deals, decent cocktails, and a lively atmosphere. If you’re after proper craftmanship, walk a few minutes further and you’ll find Le Mondain. The bar’s friendly owner Jerome is a class A mixologist who serves up some of the tastiest cocktails I have tried in Paris.

After something in between a bar and a restaurant? Lao is your place. Pop in for some sensational tapas paired with Asian fusion cocktails. I recommend giving the ‘Lao Mule’ a try – an Asian twist on the famous Moscow Mule!

B9, Lipstick – rue Frochot, 75009

Le Mondain – 46 rue Jean-Baptiste Pigalle

Lao – 7 Rue Douai, 75009

Where to go for a night out

Pigalle’s naughty trait mostly alludes to its fantastic nightlife scene these days. One spot you shouldn’t miss – especially if you’re a fan of live music – is Le Bus Palladium. First opened in 1965, Le Bus Palladium has been visited by dozens of celebrities over the years, including the Beatles.

Next, head off down the street towards the Moulin Rouge and you’ll stumble across another legendary Paris club that’s been around since 1875 – Le Carmen. Party in its historic haussmannian style club that’s filled with mirrors at every spin.

Le Bus Palladium – 6 rue Pierre Fontaine, 75009

Le Carmen – 34 rue Duperré, 75009

Where to stay in Pigalle

Right in the middle of all the Pigalle madness you’ll find the iconic Grand Pigalle Hotel, which is also home to one of Michelin-starred chef Gregory Marchand’s restaurants Frenchie Pigalle. This boutique and swanky hotel will keep you amid it all while feeling on cloud nine.

Also on the main boulevard you will find the luxurious five hotel: Maison Souquet. In true Pigalle style, the former brothel is now a stunning boutique 20 room hotel, decorated with period paintings and antiques, all subtlety hinting back at its playful past.

For those looking for plush Paris apartments to truly settle in and feel like a Parisian, be sure to check out Plum Guide for chic and cozy vacation rentals to make yourself at home in the area.

Grand Pigalle Hotel / Frenchie – 29 rue Victor Massé, 75009

Maison Souquet – 10 Rue de Bruxelles, 75009

Check out Plum Guide

In summary…

There’s no doubt about it – Pigalle will show you a good time – whether you’re after a stroll through vibrant and picturesque streets, a party, or a fantastic journey into a trendy quartier of Paris.  For those who want to enjoy a lively, fun, and hip side to Paris – make sure Pigalle is top on your list to discover.

Photo credits: Grand Pigalle Hôtel 

This article originally was written by Verity McRae for HIP Paris.

[prudentperspective]

The Best Coffee Spots in Paris Right Now

There’s no doubt about it. The French are coffee mad. They drink the stuff all day long, especially to finish off a meal. As a result, it’s not hard to find coffee in Paris. But when it comes to something barista brewed, you’ll need to look a bit harder.

The truth is, until recently, finding a decent and well-made coffee in Paris was quite difficult, which seems strange considering the nation’s long history with caffeine. The barista coffee that those from English-speaking countries are used to was just not ingrained into French culture. Whereas a simple pull on the espresso machine was – and largely still is.

But thankfully, with the help of anglophone expats, the “coffee culture” that’s swept the rest of the world has finally made its way to Paris and the scene is growing fast. The almighty flat white can now be found at most establishments and cold brew isn’t far behind.

Here are a few of my favorite spots to sit down in Paris with a good coffee and book.

Ob-La-Di

This chipper place will brighten up your day with its piping hot coffee and great atmosphere, leaving you humming the famous Beatles classic it’s named after. Ob-La-Di is one of the most Instagrammed coffee shops in Paris for its turquoise tiles, marble walls, bright copper pipes—and of course fantastic coffee!

HiP tip: Fancy a tea instead? Ob-La-Di also has a superb tea selection to keep you moving and grooving without as much caffeine.

Café Marlette

Located near the top of the trendy rue des Martyrs is a superb spot for those after a coffee and something sweet on the side: Café Marlette. Soak up the beautiful atmosphere and people watch at the 9éme’s finest while drinking a creamy latte accompanied with a delicious homemade cake.

HiP tip: Grab a table on the terrace and enjoy your coffee under the leafy green trees.

i/o cafe

Wanting a tasty coffee that’s also Instagramable? Check out i/o in the third arrondissement. i/o serves its coffee and teas in adorable artesian mugs—so adorable and popular that you can buy them at the shop! Park up here and pick a top-notch hot beverage of your pleasing from their vast menu.

HiP tip: Can’t decide what to drink? Try the matcha coffee to have you feeling funky fresh.

Substance Café

Although a bit on the pricier end, Substance Café is one of the hottest coffee spots around right now for those seeking a unique coffee experience. Its spunky and award-winning barista owners have a no sugar, no takeaway, and no food policy, allowing you to truly enjoy coffee in its purest form.  

HiP tip: Although you can’t get a takeaway coffee, you can take away fresh beans! Substance has a wide array of coffee products available to purchase in-store if you just can’t get enough – which is likely!

Le Peloton Café

Unlike Substance Café, this joint is perfect for those on the go—specifically on a bike! Run by the New Zealanders who founded Bike About Tours, Le Peloton Café serves up one of the best drip coffees in town. Pop by while on your way to Le Marais or for a walk along the Seine.

HiP tip: Peckish? Try their homemade waffles! A great takeaway treat to warm you up on a cold day.

Addresses

Ob-La-Di – 54 Rue de Saintonge, 75003

Café Marlette – 51 rue des Martyrs, 75009 (for their other locations, click here!)

i/o Cafe – 16 rue Dupetit-Thouars, 75003

Substance Café – 30 rue Dussoubs, 75002

Le Peloton Café – 17 Rue du Pont Louis-Philippe, 75004

Photo credits: Le Peloton Café

This article originally was written by Verity McRae for HIP Paris.

[prudentperspective]

Swiping for a Paris-Perfect Match

Before I moved to Paris last year, I spent some time researching its dating scene. Coming from New Zealand, and having only ever dated Kiwi men, I had a hunch that things in the City of Love would be different.

To get up to speed, I watched a few videos by popular Paris-based expat YouTubers Not Even French and Damon Dominque. Together, the two covered all things French- and men-related that any foreigner should know. They also confirmed that my inkling was correct.

The French date quite differently compared to most English-speaking cultures. For example, it’s normal to have exclusive status after only a few dates, even if it has not been explicitly discussed, and the French definitely aren’t shy when it comes to early displays of PDA.

Fast-forward two months, I’d landed in Paris ready to delve into my new life and put this new knowledge to the test. I had a good six-week run and was quickly swept into a whirlwind of romance. Some of my dates included being driven around the Arc de Triomphe on the back of a motorbike, nighttime walks along the Seine, and being kissed in front of the main fountain in the Jardin de Tuileries.

It was all insanely romantic until my euphoria was crushed by the return of COVID and yet another lockdown. Having not found the perfect match, and thankfully not accidentally locked myself into anything serious, I decided to turn to dating apps. I’d only used them in New Zealand one time without much luck. But being stuck inside my little apartment with no way of meeting people naturally left me with little choice.

So the swiping began.

Left, left, left. Ohh he’s cute, maybe? Oh wait he has nothing but a chicken nugget and eggplant emoji in his bio. Left.

Left, left. Ooh he’s into writing like me, but no, too many vain selfies, nope! Left, left.

Most people who use dating apps know the drill. You upload attractive photos of yourself accompanied with an alluring bio to then spend hours swiping until you find someone that tickles your fancy, and hopefully swiped right on you too.

In Paris, there are several dating apps people use to meet potential lovers. I started with Bumble. Bumble follows the basic online dating profile principle, yet once a match is made, it’s up to the lady to make the first move. Which in my case, didn’t work too well as I personally prefer the men to take the lead.

I tried Hinge next, which a Parisian friend suggested. Ironically designed with the goal of be deleted, Hinge is orientated towards forming relationships rather than hook-ups. Although commonly used, it’s not so popular with the French themselves and in my experience was full of English expats. Again, this didn’t work in my favor as I was on the lookout for a hot French man.

So at last, I downloaded the mother of all dating apps, Tinder. And boy did I spend hours swiping and practicing my terrible français avec les français. The only problem was with the lockdown still in full swing, I couldn’t really go out on dates. So, I quit and spent the remainder of the quarantine reading copious amounts of books and binging on Netflix.

That was until things started to open back up again in December and I thought I’d give Tinder another crack. To my luck, I matched with the Frenchman of my dreams who asked me out for a date in Montmartre. I agreed to meet him a few days before Christmas and put on the cutest outfit I could find for five-degree weather. We passed the evening drinking mulled wine on the steps of Sacré Coeur and hit it off right away.

The next few months were unconventional, as we went in and out of COVID restrictions. It wasn’t until May when we had our first proper drink on a terrace, and then to the cinema in June. Then, finally in mid-June, the day of my birthday, restaurants opened their doors and we had our first inside sit-down meal. It was also the night we made it “official,” as in typical French fashion, the subject hadn’t been mentioned for the six months we had been dating.

Just like me, plenty of my expat friends in Paris have met their boyfriends on dating apps—something that has become incredibly normalized over the last year due of COVID. The French have clearly not been shy to jump on board as the City of Love begins to move online.

Photo credits: Steven Lasry

This article originally was written by Verity McRae for HIP Paris.

[prudentperspective]

The Hidden World of Les Puces

When most people hear the phrase”‘shopping in Paris,” their minds are likely to think of trendy hipster boutiques in Le Marais or super-chic shopping by Place Vendôme. However, in my opinion, the most authentic shopping experience you will find isn’t in the city’s heart but in the north of Paris, a few stops past the well-trodden streets of Montmartre.

I’m referring to Le Marché aux Puces de Saint-Ouen, the largest antique market in the world. Les Puces is made up of over 2,500 little shops spread across fifteen unique mini markets and absolutely filled to the brim with rare treasures.

The reality is you could spend a lifetime sifting through the 17 acres of flea market madness. To make things easier, I’ve created a short guide on my top three markets to visit and where you to grab a bite to eat in the environs.

Marché Paul Bert Serpette

There are many places you could start your market venture, but the swankest of them all is without a doubt Marché Paul Bert Serpette. So swanky that celebrities including Kanye West, Mick Jagger, and Sharon Stone have even stopped by.

At Marché Paul Bert Serpette you will find a bit of everything, such as mid-century dining tables, elaborate jewelry and Renaissance musical instruments, all waiting to be snatched up for a bargain.

If you’re looking for a luxury steal, check out Le Monde du Voyage (Stand 15, Allée 3) where you will find one-of-a-kind Hermès scarfs, to-die-for Chanel bags and stacks of vintage Louis Vuitton trunks reaching the ceiling.

Marché Dauphine

Marché Dauphine is the perfect market for 90s babies looking to find forgotten trucs from their childhood. Under its glass-roofed ceiling, you’ll find a collection of 150 merchants selling everything from vintage video game sets, Brittney Spears vinyls, and even functioning Furbies.

However, the most interesting sight for shoppers is the life-sized flying saucer plopped right in the middle of the 64,500 ft2 pavilion. You can gaze at this bad boy from either of Marché Dauphine’s two levels while chatting to the friendly vendors, or while on the hunt for a long-lost gem from your childhood that will spark a wave of nostalgia lasting days. 

Marché Vernaison

Perhaps the most authentic market at Les Puces is Marché Vernaison. Spend a few hours here weaving down its narrow alleys and into more than 200 stores selling anything and everything.

A few shops I recommend stopping by are Tenenbaum for rare high-end perfumes (Allée 3, Stand 144), The Duke Shop for American vintage (Allée 1, Stand 37), and Marie Kadrinoff for a collection of golden picture frames, old school lights, and more nestled under an ivy facade.

Time to Refuel

When you’ve worked up an appetite and your hands can thrift no more, I recommend checking out these neat joints close by.

Chez Louisette

If you’re starved in the market itself, be sure to check out this petit bistrot hidden in Marché Vernaison for a truly chaotic French dining experience. Chez Louisette serves hearty French cuisine in a room jam packed with antique objects while playing old-timey French favorites.

(136 Avenue Michelet, 93400 Saint-Ouen). 

La Chope des Puces

Just left of Marchée Dauphine you’ll find this well-known establishment, where renowned jazz musician Django Reinhart once played. It’s the perfect spot to sit down and listen to live jazz while indulging in some delicious food. 

(122 Rue des Rosiers, 93400 Saint-Ouen)

Le Hasard Ludique

A little beyond the market (but still close enough reach by foot) you will find one of the trendiest bohemian spots in Paris. Situated along abandoned railway tracks, Le Hasard Ludique is perfect for lounging out on beanbags with a drink or participating in a game of pétanque with other bar-goers.

(122 avenue de Saint-Ouen, 75018 Paris).

Getting to Les Puces

Fridays 8pm - midnight, Saturdays and Sundays 10am - 6pm, Mondays 11am - 5pm.

-   Metro Line 4, stop Porte de Clignancourt  

-   Metro Line 13, stop Garibaldi

-   The 85 bus and arrive right on Les Puces’ doorstep

Photo credits: Alina Kovalchuk

This article originally was written by Verity McRae for HIP Paris.

[prudentperspective]

Enjoy Paris Like a Local This Summer

Paris is almost back in full swing and Parisians are once again indulging in their favorite past times. However, while it may seem tempting to re-discover Paris by visiting renowned attractions, here are some great spots to get you off the beaten track to enjoy Paris like a local.

1. Le Musée de la Chasse et de la Nature: a quick trip into the world of Wes Anderson

Hidden in the popular 3rd arrondissement is perhaps Paris’ most underrated museum: Le Musée de la Chasse et de la Nature. It holds one of the best taxidermy collections in the world, making it a must-see for any Wes Anderson fan. Situated in the limestone Guénégaud, simply jump off the busy streets and make your way through the museum’s exquisite rooms full of ancient trophies, priceless artworks, and exotic animals.

(The Museum is currently undergoing renovations and will open July 3rd to visitors)

2.  Saint-Ouen’s flea market: vintage gems

Tucked away on the edge of the city’s northern border is one of the most unique shopping experiences in Paris. Le Marché aux puces de Saint-Ouen is a combination of 2,500 small shops spread across fifteen markets all in one location. From rare vinyls and vintage Chanel bags, to renaissance beds, and old-school McDonald’s toys, there is nothing you won’t find at Les Puces. Spend a few weekends sifting through antique collections of everything you do and do not need.

3. Studio 28: unwind at an art-house cinema

Although many of us spent lockdown binging Netflix, there is nothing quite like watching a film on the big screen. Luckily, Paris is home to dozens of world-class and funky theaters that are back open for business. The perfect cinema to get you back into the Parisian film scene and feeling like you’ve stepped into the world of “Amélie” is Studio 28. Located on a quiet cobblestone street in the 18th arrondissement, this cinema first made its name when Salvador Dalí and Luis Buñuel premiered their surrealist film “L’Âge d’Or” inside its ritzy red velvet seated salles. Head here to escape the heat and engross yourself in an art-house film.

4. Chez Plumeau: drinks in Montmartre

If you’re looking for a drink with a view, we suggest checking out Place du Calvaire in the charming Montmartre ‘hood’. You’ll find this petite terrasse just below the world-famous Place du Tertre, nestled underneath picturesque trees with one of the most stunning views of the city. Enjoy a decently priced spritz here at Chez Plumeau or simply park up on a public bench and gaze at the magic of Paris from above.

5. Château de Monte-Cristo : an alternative to Château de Versailles

Looking for an under-the-radar château to make the most of a sunny day? Just an hour west of Paris by train is the former home of the legendary French author Alexandre Dumas. Château Monte-Cristo, named after his renowned novel The Count of Monte-Cristo, boasts whimsical grounds filled with grottos, waterfalls, and Dumas’ former writing studio located in the middle of a pond. At an 8€ entry price, this hidden gem makes for a perfect day trip out of the busy city.

Addresses

Le Musée de la Chasse et de la Nature – 62 Rue des Archives, 75003 Paris

Le Marché aux puces de Saint-Ouen -99 Allée des Rosiers, 93400 Saint-Ouen

Studio 28 – 10 Rue Tholozé, 75018 Paris

Chez Plumeau – Place du Calvaire, 75018 Paris

Château de Monte-Cristo – Chemin du Haut des Ormes, 78560 Le Port-Marly

Photo credits: @_iammax

This article originally was written by Verity McRae for HIP Paris.

[prudentperspective]

The sun

The birth of a new day lies in front,

Turning the sky to plum as darkness impends,

And light rises in lands far away.

The diminishing sun sprouts elsewhere,

Awakening others. 

Whose experience of the day will vary from ours,

yet end the same.

One’s actions are always individual. 

But the energy that gives us life never changes.

Life donned from a fire even further away, 

Uniting us as one.

No matter how different we spend our days,

Nights set the same.

And we await all, 

Endless possibilities on the other side.

Not too big,

But never too small.

[prudentperspective]

Rose

Rain tumbles from the sky,

Layering the air like a wet cloth.

While the dampness burdens summer,

It gives life to the flowers.

To a new garden in bloom.

Shades of

Pink,

Blue,

Violet,

And red.

Replicating a rose that’s been prospering inside me for the last few months.

I’ve been gone only three days.

And this garden has cemented my speculations,

That love is feeding my veins.

Just as the rain waters the flowers,

My blood has been pumped.

Its laden with lust and passion,

Distributing feelings I beg to never go.

Yet I know the rain will stop,

When the weather calms.

And the garden will become discoloured

Until it’s fed once more.

Until it tastes the sweet sensation of reciprocated affection,

That keeps us ticking.

Time and time over.

[prudentperspective]

Ending 22

I was finishing an episode of Suits tonight sat at my window, semi engaged in the show and semi reflecting the last 22 years of my life. I am turning 23 tomorrow. An age that doesn’t frighten me, but for some reason makes me feel a whole lot more like an adult. 

I FaceTimed my family in New Zealand the other day. After listening to me complain for a few minutes about my influx of grey hairs, my dad told me that there was no child left in my face. I now looked like a woman. And I feel like one too. 

People spend a lot of their lives in denial of change. Frightened of what might happen and how future events will upset their equilibrium, forcing change amid the normality of their lives. However upon thinking about how my life has evolved over 23 years, I’ve realised that change is something that happens both forcefully and naturally (without conscious awareness). 

I’ll admit that the elements of my life so far that I am most proud of have been planned. They were actioned by me because it's who I am. I seek disruption and challenge because I know it's how I will grow. However it’s been a long time since I’ve thought about some of the little things in life that have happened to me without thought because I was just living. 

The first thing that comes to mind, always, is the people I’ve encountered whose influence has pushed me in a certain direction. Some of these people are friends. People I hold precious memories with and who have filled me with luxurious love and happiness. However others are like red flags. I don’t mean this negatively. I mean that they are people that came into my life not for friendship but to provide me with message or opportunity. 

One particular moment like this in my life is my former boss in New Zealand, who gave me my first job in PR. I tell people that the reason I began working professionally at just 19 was because I was ambitious and worked hard. Now this is true. When I began my second year of university it was a mission of mine to find employment that year. However, the complete y story is before I put any action towards this goal, Mark (the director of the agency I worked for) walked back into my life without me having provoked anything and just like that, I was employed. The utter truth is that although after this happened I worked my butt off to achieve the things I did at the agency, the initial occurrence was just luck. It was being in the right place at the right time. He was a red flag in my life that opened up a path for me to walk down which in turn enabled me to be where I am today. 

So back to the point of change. I think that people shy away from it because, to reference Kanye West, people are so scared to lose that they don’t even try. Even if a ‘red flag’ surfaces in their life, donning an opportunity of a lifetime, they are too frightened to give it shot because of the fear of failure. I’m not trying to put myself on a peddle stole and tell people that this is how they should live their life. However now, on the cusp of 23, I’ve realised that a lot of my success today hasn’t initially come from hard work, but simply by pursuing opportunities that have come my way - even when I felt out of my depth. I don’t put barriers up and I don’t listen to the voice in my head telling me no. I just go out into the world and do whatever it is I want to do and know I need to do to succeed. 

To conclude, I’m 23 tomorrow and I’m feeling amazing. I’m living in the city of my dreams. I’ve got people on the other side of the world who love me and who I’ll love back until death. And I’ve made tribe in Paris too. Next steps: pursue opportunities as a young woman, and not an adolescent. Let’s see what happens. 

[prudentperspective]

Spring sneezing and new beginnings

At the moment I feel as if I am living life on an edge. I am the honey whose clinging to the lip of a spoon. Its elasticity supporting its weight before a slow descent into hot milk. Or maybe I feel as if I am standing on the last few centimetres of a riverbed, on the verge of plunging into a new body of water. This is all a metaphor for what is about to be my next chapter in life.

A lot of change is happening around me right now. France is on its way out of confinement and the return to reality is building. Seasonally, summer is fast approaching and the days are warming. And finally on a personal note, in just a matter of months I will go back to study in pursuit of a masters degree.

However amongst all of this movement, I am still. Not stuck, just on pause. I feel suspended in a bubble whose edge’s are growing thinner by the second, yet intact for the moment.

I’ve been feeling this way because I’ve been thinking a lot about how I reached this point in my life. The steps I have taken to arrive where I physically and mentally am now. However it's not the decisions I have made in the last few years that I have been pondering over. I’ve been thinking about the events that occurred in my earliest years of life that have shaped me into who I am today.

My mother had my twin brothers before I had reached two. Therefore I was asked to be big from a young age when I was really anything but that. But I don’t view this negatively. There are millions of kids who just like me grew up before they should have grown up. Instead, I view it as what gave me my confidence and independence to mature early and strive for success.

I began pondering over this recently after re-watching the final episode of Duncan Trussell’s The Midnight Gospel. One part of the episode talked about how our formative years often launch the beginning of a pattern that we will follow for the rest of our lives.

Something that shaped me early on was this accelerated push into independence. However while I gained strength in this aspect of life, it also shut me off from being heard. I learnt so early on how to care for myself and get things done that I never asked for help. And at the times I felt I needed some, I was too shy to speak out. This is something that I’ve been trying to work on recently; feeling confident and trusting myself enough to express what it is that I truly want to say.

Such pondering has answered a lifelong question of mine, as to why I am so fond of writing. Why I find comfort in written words instead of spoken. I think it's because I’m not writing for anybody to read or listen. I write because if I don’t, everything feels confused. I feel miserable. I write to better understand my thoughts, experiences and dreams. I write not because I think I have something to say, but because I need to say something. Because I still struggle with self-expression.

While I am critical of myself in such a way, it's not something that I dwell on because it’s not a trait that I’m avoiding to fix. It’s a part of me that I am proud to be working on. Because a part of life is growing.

I have to experience the lows in life so I can appreciate the goods. This is what brings me back to my initial point. Being on the edge. Right now I am on the tip of a transformative moment in my life. Because I can now confidently say that I now feel worthy enough of being listened to and heard by others.

I think it all started when I began pursuing a second language. I’m ready to turn the page and use my voice. I am ready to enter my 23rd year of life with utter independence but also to ooze expression. Not to find me, but to tell others about who I am.

[prudentperspective]

Individualism as natural form

It’s human nature to want to control and conquer, continually working to improve the conditions by which we live. However as a result, we now inhabit a world plagued by our destruction. So maybe the most natural thing humans have left isn’t what we have built collectively but instead lies individually within ourselves.

Perhaps we must start to look further into the minds of humans. Into consciousness; an internal state of being that dictates our every move. And by doing so, we may find that our individual state of mind is the purest element left in life.

So what is the mind’s natural form then? Is a natural state of mind one of tranquillity? When you’ve mastered the art of letting go. When you arrive at subliminal stillness.

A natural state of mind could also simply be living without pain? When there is an absence of fear for both life of death. When our mind lives without the trapping of time, free of memories and fantasied futures. Like a newborn baby; a blank canvas and the purest version of yourself that you’ll ever be.

Perhaps our natural form then, the truest state of being, is when you exist just as you.

I am not saying that we should let go of hobbies, like cooking, painting or socialising for example. These past times feed us with the vital happiness and meaning we all need to live. However if we strip this all back to arrive at our natural selves, what are we left with? And where do we place such importance?

Hermann Hesse once wrote in his renowned novel Demian that hobbies are perhaps only secondary. Because every person’s true calling is to only arrive at himself. The most natural act of living possible. But what is ‘arriving at one’s self’?

One method many use to slow down their lives is mindfulness. Having entered the mainstream in recent years, many embrace this practice through activities such as meditation and yoga to reach utter calmness in the mind.

Another approach some use is simply intuition; the act of doing or understanding something without conscious reasoning. Many of the world’s top businessmen and women have admitted to using intuition when making significant decisions.

Apple’s late Steve Jobs himself was a huge believer in the power of intuition and mediation. He cited such practices were behind the conceptualisation of many of his company’s products. In a speech he made in 2005, Jobs told his audience “what is most important is that you need to have courage to follow your mind and intuition. You already know what your mind and intuition want. Everything outside of that is secondary.”

So could reaching such tranquillity within the mind be the most natural thing humans have left? It seems likely if we consider it from an individual perspective. However, as I cited earlier, humans will continue to instinctually work collectively to evolve as a species until our extinction.

But perhaps the answer to our true natural form can be considered as a combination of individual decision accompanied by collective action. And to access your individual power, all you need to do is find time to be just you.

This article was also published in Prickly Pear Magazine. 

[prudentperspective]

Embracing the blue

It started to rain today. The clouds gathered and cloaked the sky. It poured, trapping Paris underneath grey which gave me feelings of claustrophobia. But only ten minutes later the freak weather lifted and the blue reemerged. I sat by my window and looked up to the sky, a normality in my own and many humans lives.

Today my gazing felt different. I felt as if I could see beyond the blue illusion and into the mystical cosmos. It felt like home. It was a moment of stillness. Of quietness. Just like the clouds, my anxious thoughts vanished leaving my mind blank. I took in the sky and it fed me peace.

We as humans live addictively to the everyday dramas and dilemmas of life. Yearning memories and anticipating the future. But rarely do we stop and just let our minds rest without any construct of time.

It is refreshing to take a step back and just be. To be nothing but alive, even for a few moments each day.

[prudentperspective]

Death to Bunny

Europe’s winter, and the continual carnage of Covid, has slowed down my life, gifting me the most time I’ve ever had to think, reflect and write. But perhaps most significantly, it's been my catalyst into adulthood.

As an adult, I’ve realised that coffee tastes better in the mornings. That days are really not that long because it's 4pm and all I’ve done is house chores and a quick workout. That books are just paper and flowers don’t smell as sweet as they did as a kid.

I’ve been thinking about when I was 18 and thought by 22 I would know everything. But 18 year old me was so wrong because I still really know nothing at all. Yet almost every day I find myself talking to 18 and 19 year olds, trying to explain the mistakes I’ve made so they won’t make them too.

It makes me question advice I received from older friends when I was 18, who I thought were so wise and aware. Now that the roles are reversed I can’t help but think I’m feeding my younger friends lies. And I wonder if that’s how my older friends felt too when I was young and seeking their judgement.

One thing I do now know is that what once satisfied my soul has unwillingly died, leaving me unsure what I should now long for. To quote G. Stanley Hall, “the high aspirations and ambitions of adolescence shrivel as life advances, and because many of its promises are unfulfilled, philosophers have urged that unless there be immortality our nature is a lie.” (Adolescence: Its Psychology, 1904).

I spent the last four years of my life working for what I now have. I wanted this with all my heart, yet now that I have it I feel nothing but adrift. I forgot that my move overseas was not the end goal, because there is in fact no end goal.

There is just life. And life keeps on going.

As humans we tend to fantasise that ‘the grass will be greener on the other side’. And once we reach that destination we can often be disappointed because we thought we knew what the green looked like. But in fact we never did because we had never lived it. That’s why dreams are called dreams. Because they feed you a reality that is unachievable in everyday life.

This is a bit how my move overseas has felt. I came here thinking I would find something bigger to push me in a new direction (that the grass would grow differently), and maybe I still will. But the reality is that unearthing your purpose isn’t something in the future, like a goal. It’s living in the right now and arriving at yourself every day.

Which is why I now know I had it so wrong. The simulacra blinded me, having me think that this goal was the holy grail. That this is all I needed to live happily ever after. When in fact, it is just the first of many chapters in my life.

So as I enter this new phase of adulthood, I just need to explore what makes me tick as a woman. And I have a feeling it will be vastly different from who I was as a teenage girl.

[prudentperspective]

A cooler Christmas

Over the past few weeks, I can’t count the number of times I was asked what I was going to do for Christmas. Unlike many of the people I’ve met in Paris, home for me is not a quick train ride away. It’s a long and tiresome journey, that’s even more expensive than usual right now due to New Zealand’s tight quarantine regulations.

So my answer was continually ‘I’m not sure but I’ll find something to do in Paris’. Lucky for me I was not the only stranded au pair here for Christmas. In fact, there were plenty of girls who, just like me, felt going home was unfeasible or straight up impossible.

It’s been a year of many firsts, including having just had my first Christmas without my family and during Winter. Usually, I’d be sunbathing on the beach, swimming, indulging in BBQs and drinking copious amounts with friends and loved ones. Instead this Christmas I found myself wrapped up in a coat eating comfort food with people I hardly knew.

And I loved it.

There’s something about my first Christmas away from home that’s been incredibly liberating. I’ve always thrived off independence. And this festive season has been full of it. Deciding who I want to spend it with, where, and how we will celebrate (within reason due to the Covid situation). And I put it down to having finally have found contentedness in being alone.

I’ve now spent four months away from my home and four months re-discovering who it is I am. A lot of walking, running, reading, socialising and learning has left me in a constant state of bliss. I wouldn’t change my choice to leave my safety net for anything.

So as I see out what has been simultaneously the strangest and best year of my life, I can’t stop smiling with joy for whatever the future will bring.

[prudentperspective]

Living for the present

Recently I read The Stranger by Albert Camus. The classic novel tells the story of a French mans' path to prison for murder and is loaded with existential themes. I’ve been pondering about such a view on life for a while now. It’s not a view I hold, for a believe there are reasonings as to why humans walk this earth. Yet sometimes, I do have moments where my mind wanders into such places.

In particular, I have often found myself thinking existentially when revisiting my memories. Although we never want to admit it, a human’s memory retention is appalling in more ways than one. First, we don’t retain our mediocre doings, such as brushing our teeth, what we ate for dinner three weeks ago on a Tuesday, or a brief walk to buy some milk. We only retain memories that imprint on us in some way. Perhaps that’s the first time you kiss someone, stepping on a plane to move to a new city, going to a restaurant you’ve been dying to visit. Yet again, we only remember in part what happened in these scenarios and nowhere near the full experience.

Therefore, sometimes when I set out to do something new or challenging, I can find myself thinking what’s the point? Am I going to remember this moment in years to come, and even if I do, will I remember it with any accuracy? My friends always use the saying ‘do it for the memories’. But truly, what is the point if such memories will become flawed with age? So then I try to recount my fondest memories.

Some that quickly come to mind are times like when my best friend at 10 showed up at my house to tell me she was soon moving to my school, the first time I drove my own car, when my friends and I built a secret deck in the hills behind our childhood hometown (which I was recently told D.O.C has banished people from visiting…), drunkenly playing ‘what fruit am I’ with former flatmates, and many, many more. All these memories put a smile on my face and engulf me with feelings of euphoria and nostalgia. But more so, these memories aren’t specific moments I took time planning or built up an expectation for. They were times I was just simply living.

So now I understand why it is important. Because life isn’t about reliving the past or focusing on the future. It's about living in the present.

I believe that if you can find contentedness in this, you will always remain happy. Waking up every day with the world your oyster, waiting for the delightfulness in every little detail of life to follow. And those are the memories that you will retain and make you realise why life is so worth living.

[prudentperspective]

Unlocked

If I could do it all again,

I would have left sooner.

All the time I spent searching

Could have been replaced with finding.

I’ll admit, I’ve spent a brief moment knocked off my path again.

But I’ve made a full circle and am back to where I started;

Total immersion with no other goal than just being free.

The hours I’ve spent looking,

Will now be replaced with living .

And that life will be lived for me and only me.

As I’ve realised once more that you don’t find love,

It finds you.

And I am ready for love to find me again.

When it itself is ready.

[prudentperspective]

Locked-down again, but on the other side of the world.

A few months ago I packed up my life in Wellington and moved to Paris. Unlike many young Kiwis who had their OEs derailed by the pandemic, I managed to slip away late in the European summer when many thought Covid was on its way out. However my blissful freedom has come to a rapid halt as France reluctantly makes its way through what it was promised wouldn’t happen; another nationwide confinement.

Instead of spending hours in Paris’s array of museums or jetting off to a neighbouring European city for the weekend, I’m milling about the 9th arrondissement where I reside. My second lockdown of the year, but this time in one of the world’s worst affected countries.

The lockdown the French government settled for this time is far looser than the first. An approach most countries in Europe are taking during this second wave. Many businesses and shops are still open, as are schools and rest homes, and you must have a permission form for every time you go outside. People are not forced to work from home, meaning many are still heading into the office, and exercise within 1km of your home for one hour a day is permitted. However despite such enforcements, it’s evident the French are faintly abiding by these rules. With an unusual lack of police presence or interference so far, many streets and parks remain busy and the one hour a day of exercise is largely executed without respect for the time or distance limits.

This lockdown feels far different from the first wave of Covid earlier this year and particularly distant from my experience confining in New Zealand. I find myself out and about several times a day, using my permitted exercise hour to go for runs, then walking through shops and markets to fetch groceries and finally work, which as an au pair involves heading to a school to pick up the children I care for. Any concept of social distancing or sticking to a bubble is largely out the window due to the many public spaces that are still somewhat occupied.

However one stark difference I’ve noticed this time around is the drop in fear people have for the virus itself, despite the growing number of infections. It’s been replaced however with an equally terrifying reality: when will this all end? The longer the virus lingers, the more restless people are about a return to normal life. This has left respect and trust for any government decision low, with people becoming more and more reluctant to trade in their liberal freedoms for a second attempt at a solution that bought so much economic and social damage the first time around. In the case of France, there doesn’t seem to be much more the Government can do without tipping its citizens over the edge due to the already rocky state of its political environment. Protests are starting to emerge and the common consensus is that civil unrest will only but continue to grow the longer this carries out.

So as winter sets in, it's not just the health system the French Government will be fighting to keep afloat, but also its growing population of freedom hungry citizens. And I will patiently sit here and watch it unfold from my petite chambre de bonne.

This article was republished by stuff.co.nz