(Medical) Helicopter Parenting
Hey parents! I know we've all heard of helicopter parenting before: maybe you are one or maybe you had one. A helicopter parent believes that by staying hyper-vigilant over their child, they can keep them well-behaved and safe.
More often than not, helicopter parenting stems from a parent's own anxieties, rather than any real need to surveil their child. According to Parents.com, helicopter parenting can actually contribute to the onset of childhood anxiety, entitlement, and underdeveloped life skills.
But today I want to talk about another kind of parenting, something I'm going to call Medical Helicopter Parenting.
Medical helicopter parents are parents of intersex children who chose to have their child's genitals surgically modified shortly after birth. Rather than risk the uncertainties of raising a child with genitals that aren't quite male or quite female, medical helicopter parents make the drastic decision to surgically reinforce their child's sex.
While medical helicopter parents may believe they are making this decision in the best interest of their child, the reality is that their child has lost their ability to grow into their identity on their own terms. Furthermore, when that child grows up and learns that this medical decision was made without their consent, the odds that your parent-child relationship will be permanently damaged is incredibly high.
Follow this link to read about parent-child relationships in the wake of infant intersex surgeries:
For decades, doctors have operated on babies born with ambiguous genitalia. But there is a growing debate about the role physicians — and pa
The best thing that a parent of an intersex child can do is address thier own anxieties in the face of uncertainty and difference.
Lurie Children's Sex Development Clinic is a great resource for both children and parents to learn about intersex conditions and gender. They can help facilitate the development of a healthy relationship between intersex child and parent by including the child in the decision-making process and encouraging parental support.
Get comfortable with difference and find the support you need here:
Lurie Children’s outpatient services are ready to support the physical, mental and social health of youth as they progress through gender id
If you have helicopter tendencies, just remember:
Don't medicalize... get therapized!