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f!Rook x Lucanis, Explicit, No Archive Warnings, Fluff & Smut, PWF
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NASA
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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izzy's playlists!
The Bowery Presents

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
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hello vonnie

Product Placement

#extradirty

Love Begins
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oozey mess

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Today's Document

seen from Italy

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@puckspups
Read the rest of it here :)
f!Rook x Lucanis, Explicit, No Archive Warnings, Fluff & Smut, PWF
Another one couldnât hurt⊠right?â Masterlist
daddy Joel but not in that way, gets his own masterlist (I want yall to know this silly ass little line is the entire origin of this fic).
domestic fluff/ smut; Joel wants another baby.
main masterlist
NSFW !! 18+ only. MDI!
Warnings/content: no outbreak!au,established relationship (Joel and reader are married), husband!joel x wife!reader, some physical descriptions, results of childbearing, mentions of pregnancy, lots and lots of smut, unprotected p-in-v, oral sex, breeding kink (even if your eyes are wide open, you donât need to squint), soft dom!Joel, age gap relationship, reader is early 30s & Joel is late 40s (met at 19 and 33), reader and Joel have 3 kids. No use of y/n.
Chapters come with their own warnings.
Series currently in progress.
àšà§ ââââĄâââ àšà§ àšà§ âââââĄââââ àšà§
pt. 1 (One more): 7.8k - you and joel take your kids for ice cream on a restless night.
pt. 2 (persistent): 7.5k - joel is very intentional when it comes to getting what he wants.
pt. 3 (fruitful): 11.9k - you tell joel that heâs going to be a daddy again.
pt. 4 (sustained): 11.6k - joel plans an anniversary trip and has some tricks up his sleeve.
pt. 5 (cherished): 22.1k - joelâs schemes are far more elaborate than you had anticipated as you celebrate your anniversary.
pt. 6 (destined): 6.1k - (flashback) you and joel recall how the two of you came to be.
pt. 7 (tethered): 7.4k - (flashback) joel is so patient to take that next step in your relationship until you just canât take it anymore.
pt. 8 (devoted): 12.8k - (flashback) you and joel navigate the new dynamics of your relationship.
pt. 9 (the big reveal): 7.4k - you and Joel share the news of the addition to your little family.
àšà§ ââââĄâââ àšà§ àšà§ âââââĄââââ àšà§
Canât get enough of themâ figured they were due for their own masterlist!
Comments and/or feedback are highly appreciated!
More to come, as always.
xoxo - wicker đ
Pick your poison, babe, Iâm poison either way
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: Joel is the person you hate the most, you could swear on oath; Joel could swear the same, but he would rather do that on his knees for you.
Warnings: +18 smut, MDNI, sub!Joel, outbreak, enemies to lovers, wounds, mention of death, handjob, pinning to the wall, a hint of degradation, edging, age gap, use of pet names (darling, big boy, good boy, sweetheart)
Word count: 5.9k
Notes: found myself writing this out of the blue, no planning or anything. Sometimes we just need a little bit of sub!Joel and thatâs okay đ©· lyrics in the title are from âimgonnagetyoubackâ by Taylor Swift
Dividers credits: @cursed-carmine , @cafekitsune
|| JOEL MILLER FICS || MASTERLIST ||
âWe canât keep getting away with this, at some point it will get us killed.â
But Joel hasnât feared death in a long time, your words barely scratch the surface.
Always his challenging look on his face, the wrinkles by his eyes shaped by his anger, his killer instincts.
He nonchalantly wipes off the blood from his knife on the sleeve of his jacket, âDonât act like you donât like seeing me doing this and doing it by yourself.â
You look at your hands that might be even bloodier than his, the dark fluid staining them, getting on each fingertip, in every line of your palm.
âItâs Fedra, they come after ya. And if it wasnât for this,â he gestures at the gun in your hand, âyou would be the one laying on the ground.â
This is not you, you keep repeating yourself, this is an evil twin, an evil version of you that has taken over. This is not real, if you squeeze your eyes closed all the blood will disappear, the gun will vaporise and even Joel will disappear.
When you open them again the blood still drips from your hands, Joel now kneeled to collect a cloth from his backpack.
âCâmon, youâre alright.â
The cloth is cold when he applies it to your hands, wiping the blood away with a gentleness that seems coming from another man. Maybe even him is an evil version of his true self.
âYouâre hurt, let me help ya.â
And suddenly the shot of adrenaline hits your bloodstream, feeling the skin cut open on your arm, letting the gun fall to the ground, its fall echoing on the walls.
âFuck, fuck, I hadnât noticed that.â
âI know,â Joel nods, taking a bottle of alcohol, âIt happens that you canât feel a knife going through, only seeing the wound after you finished fighting.â
It stings, Joel holding your hand with his free one, âYeah I know, I know, gonna go away in a second.â
âLook at me, donât look down.â
You lock your gaze on his face, his eyes though on your wound, working on it as you take in his peppered hair and beard, thinking that itâs the adrenaline that is making you look a little longer.
â âs alright, âs not too deep, you will be alright.â
The shock of it doesnât even make you realise that heâs already patched up the wound with gauzes and cleaned even your hands from the blood.
Itâs when youâre standing on your own again that you look down at the bodies, the blood on your clothes and filling your nostrils with that smell of fear. It clings to you, to your clothes and itâs a smell that you canât take away.
âDonât make that face,â he nudges you, âDonât play innocent,â as he retrieves the gun from the floor.
âThis is not who I am Joel.â
Joel shrugs, âThis is exactly who you are.â
âI wasnât like this before you.â You want to take back those words but itâs too late.
His head snaps at you, âBefore me? You mean when I found ya covered in blood and with this gun in your hand, that before me? Before I took ya in because you had been wandering like a stray and Fedra was chasing you?â
Your blood boils at him, âYou think you saved me, thatâs what you think you did?â You push his arm, shovelling him, Joel laughing bitterly.
âWeâre part of those people who are beyond salvation,â he takes a step closer, âYou needed me to survive.â
âI never needed you. I never asked for your help, I didnât even want to survive.â You spit, Joel shaking his head.
âYou wanted to, and you needed me. You still need me, just like I need ya.â
âWe rely on each other.â He contends, now walking side by side, âAnd what are ya so stubborn about? That you can count on me?â
And this goes under the times you would want to shovel him against the wall. And not in a good way.
âI donât need you.â You repeat through your gritted teeth.
âOh sorry, what was that? Whoâs gonna mend your wounds then?â
And you really canât take it anymore, pinning him to the dirty wall of that hallway, a force in you you didnât even know you had.
He doesnât oppose when you take both his wrists, bringing them up his head, rather enjoying it.
He canât take the smile off his face, a light laugh leaving him. If he wanted to, he could very easily get out of your hold, but why ruining the fun for you?
âWhatâs so funny, Miller? That I can pin you to the wall like this?â
He laughs, âThat Iâm letting you do it, thatâs the fun thing.â
Your hands are already getting tired, heâs much taller than you anyway and the wound on your arm is unforgiving.
âOh really? And why are you letting me do it, uh?â
Joel shrugs, biting then his bottom lip at the thought of what you could do to him in this position.
âYou want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.â You mock, pushing more his wrists and Joel has to contain a moan, heâs enjoying the pain so much.
âWeâre so proud of ourselves today, darlinâ.âÂ
âIsnât that the truth, that you really want me?â You tease him.
Joel clicks his tongue, âMaybe itâs the other way around, the way you look at me, like you want to be-â
And you canât stand that anymore.
Your lips clash, kissing him roughly, pinning him even more to the wall.
You bite his bottom lip, Joel parting his lips even more, arching his back towards you, your bodies attached.
âSo much for hatinâ me, darlinâ.â Devilishly laughing, his lip bitten and marked by a little stain of blood.
âI had to shut you up, Miller.â Your arms begging for mercy, but you just hold that grip even stronger.
He could reverse the situation in a second if he wanted to, he could pin you to the wall and block you like that, but that wouldnât give him the view he has before him; all he sees is your satisfied look, the darker shadow on your eyes and that drop of evil that you share with him.
âShould I run my mouth more often then?â He wonders, tilting his head to the side, resting it on your forearm. And god, his hair is so soft, how can he manage to keep it like that?
You huff, still tasting his lips on yours, that goddamn sweet taste that you hadnât savoured in such a long time. Hell, you canât even remember who was the last person you had kissed.
But well, now it is Joel.
âYou can try to do that, fuck around and find out.â You threaten over his lips, leaning onto him, bloodstained clothes colliding, and your lips clashing again.
You hate him, you repeate to yourself, you hate this man so much.
But your body doesnât, your body loves him like heâs a sweet poison ready to kill you slowly.
You leave his arms, Joel frowning a little, but he switches completely the moment you grip the back of his head, curls between your fingertips, exposing his neck.
âFuck,â he moans, pulling his hair even more, lapping your tongue onto his neck. Thereâs sweat, adrenaline and even blood from a little cut, closing your lips onto his skin.
His hands grip the wall behind, not daring to grab you.
âGod youâre so pathetic, arenât you? Giving up all your control for me.â You spit, Joel whining and you might have won the lottery.
âLetting me do all of this to you... wonder what else would you let me do.â You whisper, making him tilt his head towards you.
âTell me what you want, Miller.â
But Joelâs mind is a puddle, all the adrenaline went down after he killed those people but now has risen up again, poisoning his bloodstream.
Your hands finally leave his curls, only because there is something else on your mind.
âOh, what? You still wanted me to do that? You wanted to be pinned to the wall again?â You mock his frowning look.
His very dominant presence is going all away, leaving place for a Joel that seems to be in need of guidance, a version of Joel so foreign to you.
âBut how would I be able to do this otherwise?âÂ
And Joel flinches at the way youâre palming him through his rough jeans, breathing deeply.
He tries to grab the wall, not wanting to grab your wrist, not trying to stop you.
âAll this time...â, you click your tongue, âYou play the bold man part so well, but now look at you,â you grab his chin, âYou donât even know what to do with yourself, uh? Youâre getting harder and itâs getting you crazy.âÂ
You can tell how hard he is, Joel closing his eyes, he couldnât disagree on that even if he wanted to.
âWhat should we do with this, Miller?â You smirk as you cup him, and you nuzzle over his neck, âShould we take down these jeans?âÂ
And Joel nods, as you go back to pulling his hair, âYou think you deserve that, big boy? You think youâve been good enough for that?â
And Joel writhes against your hand, his hand grabbing your forearm in the desperate search for something to hold on.
âY-yes,â he babbles.
Your hand squeezes him through the jeans, making him whine, âOh I donât think so, Miller. You havenât been a good boy,â you shake your head, âInstead youâve been very bad, done so many bad things.â You coo with a fake sad tone.
âBut-but I can be good, I swear.âÂ
You click your tongue, hovering his neck with your lips, âItâs too late, Miller.â
Joel places his head back on the wall, all his neck exposed for you. And you suck his skin, to the point that your teeth are gracing the tender tissue, Joel at loss for the way youâre not giving him a single break on his jeans, goosebumps all over his skin.
âHow long itâs been since someone did this?â You unbutton his jeans, opening the zip painfully slowly.
âL-Long, so long.â He breathes out, lost among all that touch.
âYeah, I can tell.â You respond as your hand makes its way into his jeans, Joel cannot resisting the urge to grab your arm, to hold onto something.
You keep tracing his length, grabbing him and palming him through the tissue of his boxers, and Joel cannot believe that at his age heâs being brought to his knees by what he could call a half handjob.
But he imagines the full thing, he squeezes his eyes closed to focus on your touch, those fingers seeming to push all the right buttons, imagining how it would be if they wrapped around him as a whole, how it would feel if you were pumping him properly.
He thrusts against you, writhing and a moan escapes his lips.
Your hand would slide over his length so perfectly, he would even lick your hand to help you, god he would do it all.
He feels you gripping him more, to the point that his hardness is becoming painful.
âWhat do you want, Miller, tell me.â Your tone assertive, which seems to make him even harder if possible.
âTake them off,â he utters, but you donât like it that way.
âWhat do we say?â You scold him.
âPlease?â He wonders, hope in his voice.
âToo late, theyâre gonna stay on,â you mockingly coo at him.
âArms up again,â you order, taking his wrists into your hand, which is barely covering them but that will do.
âDo you want to come?â You ask him, Joel on the verge of tears and that might be the very first time you see him this vulnerable.
âY-Yes,â Joelâs brain completely turned off, you could ask him to kneel down and he would probably do it.
âThen beg for it, Miller.â You vigorously order close to his ear, pinning his wrists harder.
Joel whines loudly, and it will be a miracle if all this noise wonât get you both killed.
âPlease, please can I come now?â He whines, writhing against the wall, somehow trying to thrust against your touch.
But you smirk at him, Joel tilting his head up to look at you, his flushed cheeks looking so adorable and heâs wasted on your touch, poisoned to the point he could cry.
âHold it more, do it for me.â
And Joelâs eyes fall closed again, whimpering as he turns his head, closing and opening his fingers, desperately searching for something to hold onto.
âHold still, be good.â You velvety say, placing chaste kisses on his jaw, that peppered beard under your lips, âYou might get a reward.â You whisper over his lips, Joelâs lips gaping at yours, all bitten and vivid.
He holds everything, he tries to steady his breathing and also his thrusts, trying to move his hands but your hold on him is just getting stronger.Â
Until it vanishes, his arms are set free to go on his sides, searching for your hips to hold, your shirt, anything he can grab.
You lock your look with him, his lucid eyes on you, but he closes them immediately the moment you slip your hand into his boxers; a moan escapes his lips, thinking your touch could set him on fire.
âFuck, darlinâ, fuck,â He desperately cries, and you cannot help but smirk at how much heâs craving it all, how heâs desperate for you to give him some needed relief. Must be hard to go all this time without someone pleasing him when he likes it so much.
âGod, youâre beautiful you know? I canât stand you but youâre fucking beautiful.â You coo, looking down at his length and wrapping your hand around it.
Only that has him screaming internally, his hand is nothing compared to this.
âPlease, darlin, I need to come, I will be good.â He pledges, a single tear marking his cheek.
âYeah?â You urge, twisting your wrist and raising up your speed, âThen fucking come, big boy, fucking come in my hand.â
And he thrusts against your hand obscenely, imagining it was you, writhing desperately and all sorts of swearing words leave his lips messily.
Until all the heat is released from his body, warm white ropes staining your hand as he arches his back and holds his breath, only to moan loudly after.
He trembles in pleasure, his hand now pinned to the wall and he finally opens his eyes, seeing you still pumping him slowly.
âIs that all? Wanna give me more?â You tease him, as you keep stroking him.
He focuses on it, he truly does, until he can release more, panting as if he ran a marathon.
Youâre gonna be the death of him, literally.
âOoh there you go, thatâs a good boy.â
You indulge a little more on his shaft, now all sleek in your hand, letting him ride his orgasm.
When you think he really has nothing more to give you, finally you leave him and you wipe your hand onto his jeans.
Joelâs breath is still ragged and all he can do is slowly sitting down on the concrete, following him and tucking him in, Joel flinching for how sensitive he is.
You cup his cheeks, placing a kiss on his forehead, âIn case nobody ever told you, you did good, Miller, so good.â
You sit on his side, him letting his head onto your shoulder, as you bring some water to his lips.
âTake your breath, itâs alright,â your hand going to cup his face, Joel leaning more onto your shoulder, sipping on the bottle and then breathing deeply.
Your hand reaches the back of his head, little lines of sweat wetting his peppered hair as you tangle your fingers in those curls; you stroke his hair, letting him sink more onto your shoulder. He weights more than you and soon you have to lay down to sustain him, so that he can still enjoy being cocooned on your shoulder.
The pavement is dirty, the place still smells like blood just like your clothes, but to Joel this is the most peaceful the world has ever felt since the outbreak. It could all end in a second, a clicker, a Fedra bullet to his chest, but right now this is his peace.
He hugs onto you, his leg coming between your thighs, and itâs like having a big koala wrapped around your arm and shoulder, and well the colour of his peppered beard is almost the same.
The thought makes you smile, and you think that you were about to stab him, youâre sure you could have done something drastic if you hadnât pinned him to the wall and shut him up.
Him and his mouth, look where it led you.
Joel sighs on your skin, knowing you both should really leave that place, but his limbs wonât respond.
âSo you really enjoyed that, Miller?â You stroke the back of his head and then his neck, and you could swear you could hear him purring at your fingers.
âYeah, I donât know if itâs gonna go in my favour but...â His hand caresses your hip, brushing his nose onto your cheek, âI like to give up control, to let someone do something for me and to me.â
He shakes his head after, kissing your cheek, âI know it sounds weird, youâve seen me always so cocky, and- and I like doing both, but if I can be vulnerable with someone then I want it to be like this,â his voice trembling in fear, and shame. Itâs scary to be vulnerable in a world like this, itâs scary to let his weakness be bare in front of you.
You cup his cheek with your free hand since the other is still trapped by him, âItâs okay, Joel, itâs okay.â Switching to his name, Joel leaning more onto you.
âAnd I know that youâve grown to hate me, to hate what we do together but I do hope you didnât hate this.â He mutters, and you think of how much pain you both carry, a pain that has made you both hateful of everything and everyone, yourselves included.
And God, how can you hate him right now when heâs begging to be hugged, when heâs making himself smaller on your side?
âI didnât hate it, okay?â You comfort, brushing his curls, letting your fingers through it starting from his forehead, Joel closing his eyes.
âYou know I would hate you less if you were always like this.â You whisper over his forehead, Joel being shaken by a genuine laugh.
âWe would be both dead by now.â He chuckles, you nodding at what is the truth.
Itâs a world that doesnât allow for softness, a world that has made you hate him even when all he wanted and wants to do is helping you. Hell, you even hated him when he saved you, still not forgiving him for that. He could have left you to bleed out, it would have all ended, but the glimpse of good in him made him do what he felt was right; he didnât know he was doing something against you, and then you had to cling to him as you waited for your wounds to heal.
You still resent him, resenting what he does, but itâs only a reflection of what you do too.
âYou want me to do somethinâ for ya?âÂ
You donât even know why heâs asking that, until you realise youâve been involuntarily moving against his thigh, slowly humping on him.
You stop immediately, covering even your face with your palm, âOh God, Iâm sorry-â you apologise, Joel chuckling a little.
âYou donât hate my body, thatâs for sure.â He states, and heâs so right, as you can feel your panties having a wet spot.
âBut I hate everything else, keep that in mind.â You tap his forehead, Joel shaking his head and slowly untangling from you.
âI know, I know,â he says, as heâs sitting up and you mimick him, actually standing up before him.
âNeed a hand?â You offer, âAre we too old and lazy to be laying on the floor and then getting up, Miller?â Your words not so kind but there is a smile on your lips.
He grabs your hand, levering him and helping him getting up, âLazy my ass, Iâm 56 years old, darlinâ he huffs, but he laughs with you right after, a little bit of all the stiffness melting off.
Hell, you just gave him a handjob, you could hate him a little bit less, but he knows that wonât be the case, and thatâs alright, until you donât point your knife at him itâs all good.
He holds onto that thought as you get out of the building, his truck just nearby with some of the last gasoline in it and a tyre he hopes will still make it for a couple of hundred miles.
That was always meant to be a temporary stop, just somewhere where to spend the night that didnât turn out to be too safe, all before heading to your real destination, Jackson.
That night seems to be so far away now.
You really didnât want to come here, you didnât want to have a stable place where to stay, you liked at this point roaming and never settling.
But Joel couldnât sustain all of that anymore, and one day he had told you that if you wanted to you could have parted ways forever and that would be it.
But he knew deep down you would have followed him, you hated him but still it was someone to have by your side, still there was a line tying you to him.
And now youâre here, in this town that has felt so foreign at first. Joel even got a house, a really nice house with two bedrooms, so that you could stay with him but not having to share the bed with him.
You would hate to admit it, but you love the house. It feels like home, even though nothing would feel like the home you had to leave behind, but this is a nice substitute; Joel has worked on keeping it nice and renovating few things, careful even that it would be of your liking.
Doesnât matter though, there is still that fire pit within you that makes you resent him, and Joel knows that very well. He leaves you your spaces, your time, and some days he doesnât  even cross your way.
Your bones at least donât hurt anymore from sleeping on the concrete or in the poor old truck.
Everything is so nice, except for the voices going around town: people are betting if youâre a couple or not.
Itâs almost midnight when you go down the stairs, tiptoeing then until the kitchen; youâre sure Joel is still up, youâve heard some noises while you were in your room, probably him tinkering with tools and wood even at this hour of the night.
There he is, sitting at the kitchen table where there are all sorts of tools scattered on it.
Itâs his way of unwinding, of letting the night be easy on him.
He hears the footsteps, rising up his head from his works, and tilting it towards you.
âCanât sleep?â
You nod, âJust a few things on my mind,â pacing around the table, back and forth.
Joel gives you a nod, never intruding, having learnt to keep his distance because thatâs what you want. Or at least, what he thinks that you want. Youâve shared so much in the past year, now even sharing a house, so he just thinks you deserve your time.
You donât leave though, now standing by the table, resting your hip against it, the soft light casted on his features.
âDo you know what they say in town?â
Joelâs furrowed eyebrows tell you already the answer.
âNo, what do they say?â He goes back to using the scalpel on a rough piece of wood.
âThat, well... that weâre a couple.â You let out all in one breath, ripping it off like a bandaid.
He drops the tool on the table, rising his eyebrows, âIs that just because we live together? Itâs none of their business,â he wonders more to himself than to you.
âI know,â you ponder, still sometimes thinking about what happened in that old building.
Youâve never talked about it again, Joel deciding that it was up to you if you wanted to bring up the topic.Â
You bite your bottom lip, Joel reading your body now that youâre not saying anything anymore.
âIs there somethinâ else?â He asks, looking at you and sighing, wishing he could tell whatâs going on behind your pensive look.
âI was just thinking...â Your hand smoothing on the surface of the table, Joel following the movement, âWhat if theyâre right? What if there is really something else between us?â
Joelâs little tool ends on the table again with a low thud, giving up on his works for tonight.
âDarlinâ,â he cautions, âI donât think you really mean what you just said.â
You inch a little closer, until youâre able to take his chin, thumb brushing over his bottom lip.
âWhat if I told you I havenât stopped thinking about that night? That my brain keeps going there, doesnât matter how much I try to push it away?â
Just the plain truth, youâve replayed it to yourself so many times, while strolling around town, while folding your laundry, not daring though to say anything to him; you thought about it even tonight, when just a little before coming down you were touching yourself to the thought of it, thinking itâs just your body that wants him, not your heart.
Joel moves nervously, the chair scratching the floor.
âSweetheart,â and thatâs a new one, heâs never called you like that, his breath itching at the close distance.
Your hand goes through his hair, pulling it a little backwards, Joelâs lips parting in a slight moan. You can remember clear as a day how much he liked it when you pulled his hair that night, how he went pliant in a second.
And you donât know where this is going to lead you, you have no clue when even just a little touch gets Joel this way.
âWerenât you dying to do something for me? To show me how good you could be? Donât you remember that?â You whisper, hoping itâs not too much.
And his pulse quickens at the way youâre rubbing your hand on his crotch, Joel widening his legs instinctively.
âStill dying to do that? I wonder what you were thinking about when I gave you that handjob,â you exhale, kissing the shell of his ear.
Joel doesnât answer, his heart beating so fast against his ribcage itâs becoming painful, but never like the way youâre pulling his hair and pushing on his sweatpants.
âI- I wasnât thinking about that anymore.â
And if there is one thing, just one, that Joel canât do is lying.
âYeah? It never crossed your mind ever again the way I touched you?â You tease him, and he twitches under those pants, you smirking at that.
So much for not thinking about it.
âSo now youâre also lying, Miller? I was told you would be good.â You shake your head, cooing at him but itâs more to mock him.
And all those questions are driving him crazy, his brain not able to process proper responses while youâre giving him no peace on his jeans and on his hair.
His cheeks are flushed with embarrassment, being caught lying wasnât really on his schedule tonight.
âAlright, alright, you win.â He breathes, a hand grabbing your arm, âIâve thought about it.â
âOh you have...â you click your tongue, âPerhaps they might be right, we could be more.â
You leave his crotch, grabbing instead his thigh, your thumb stroking his muscle through the tissue, and Joel cannot resist to you anymore.Â
He tentatively searches for your lips, aching for you.
You back up a little and smirk at him, seeing Joel frowning and already a âsorryâ forming on his lips.
But youâre just playing, a sweet smile draping on your lips before diving on him, kissing him like your life depended on it.
His arms swing around your hips, keeping you close as your fingers end run through his hair, cupping then his cheeks, keeping him close in all the ways you can.
And when you part your lips, Joel thinks of how you got here, from hating on each other to be kissing in the middle of the night.
âWhat did you want to do that night?â Your thumb brushing on his eyebrows, clearing him from all the thoughts crowding his mind.
He chews on his bottom lip, his thumb rubbing on your hip, âAnything that you wanted me to do.â His flushed cheeks telling you heâs not lying.
And you still have to get used to this version of Joel, the one that doesnât dominate.
You can manage to hate him a little less this way.
âSo...â you finger twirls around a curl, âIf I asked you to go down on me, you would have done it?âÂ
Joel lowers his head just a little, trying to take that image out of his mind, but your hand brings it up again.
âTalk to me, Miller.â
Joel might have forgotten all words for the way his head is spinning so much.
âYes, yes I would have done it.â
You smirk at him, fingers tangling in his curls, âOh thatâs the good boy that I know,â you coo.
âYou like to be called like that, donât you?â Still stroking his hair, Joel slow blinking up at you.
He nods, heâs wished all his life to be called like that again. He never thought it would come from the person whoâs hated him for the longest time though.
You lean onto him to kiss his forehead, âI could call you like that many times, Miller.â
Joel rests his head on your chest, still your caress going on. And he begins to kiss your skin, the night gown having some transparency and he can feel your soft skin under his lips.
âYou know that I was thinking about it earlier?â You reach his ear, whispering, âCan you imagine what I was doing?â You take a curl away from his forehead.
Joelâs chest rises up quickly, and he twitches once again in his jeans. Your body might love him, but his body loves you even more.
âGod, darlin,â he exhales, the thought forming in his mind but not daring to voice it, failing to have control over his thoughts. You could order him anything, and he would do it in a second.
âThereâs something about you, Joel,â switching to his first name, âI canât really understand it, I still resent you but I canât get you out of my head.â
And maybe youâre the one lying right now, youâre becoming the unreliable narrator.
You kiss him, holding your breath and letting his hands go behind your thighs, bringing you closer to him, making you lower more so that you can kiss him better.
âWould you ever forgive me?â He sounds desperate over your lips, voice breaking. He never wanted to hurt you, he just wanted to do something good for you.
And youâre reevaluating what he did, youâve been rolling this thought in your head. That maybe this was for the best, that you werenât meant to be left at the mercy of Fedra, or at the mercy of your own wounds that would have killed you, one way or another.
All you wanted back then was for everything to end, to put a full stop to your wandering, to your loss. You had no one, but Joel showed up that night, right time and right place.
He would have left anybody else behind, but all he saw was a helpless girl with so much pain, he wouldnât even know how to describe it, but itâs a pain that he recognised, it felt like looking in the mirror.
That same look that tasted like surrendering.
He had felt the same, so many times.
âI will, Joel, I will.â You utter, kissing his forehead and then his cheek.
He softly smiles, a bit of his guilt being lifted.
His eyes are glimmering under the soft light of the kitchen, his chest expanding with so much yearning for you.
And he canât help it, but a single tear leaves the corner of his eye, ending on your arm.
âHey, itâs alright, Joel, itâs alright.âÂ
You hug him, an instinct telling you that itâs the right thing to do.
Your arms wrap around his shoulders, him hiding on your chest, somehow feeling protected. Itâs a dull world outside, but right now it feels like an antidote has been put in his bloodstream, cleaning all the bad poison.
He said you were both beyond salvation, but those words donât apply anymore, not when heâs holding your hand as youâre going up the stairs, heading for his bedroom.
They donât matter anymore when heâs letting you in his space, in that room you had just seen when you first got in this house and before choosing the other one, never stepping into it again.
It feels like him, it might be the perfume, or the wooden artefacts around the room, either way it has his name written all over it.Â
He doesnât leave your hand even when you reach the bed.
You climb the bedsheets, kneeling on his side the moment heâs sitting at his place.
âAre you sure about this? Donât you want me to go to my room?â
Joel shakes his head, letting you lean onto him, kissing him briefly.
âIâm sure, darlinâ,â his voice so soothing, filling the room and the darkness.
âSo the people in town might be right,â he whispers over your lips, cupping your cheek.
You lips creep in a smile during the kiss, âYeah, they might have seen it all before us.â
And you had imagined the ending to this night very differently, you thought you could have teased him and spend some time with him pleasing you, but this is better, for now.
Youâre seeing his true self, thereâs no need anymore for the mask of anger and for your constant stubbornness towards him. This house has mended those wounds, it has healed those parts of you both that you didnât think were possible to heal.
âCome here, âs been a long night,â he offers, letting you lay under the bedsheets with him, covering you and it feels like a parallel universe.
And as youâre drifting off, Joel cocooned on your shoulder, a kind of peace washes over you, like a warm blanket.
You glance at Joel and the hate is vanishing away leaving place for something you know you will learn to name.
For now, you will enjoy having this untamed yet soft man by your side.
Everything else is gone, Fedra, the clickers, the outbreak... everything goes away the moment you look at him.
The answer to your turmoil has always been just in front of you, you just had to welcome him in your heart.
Welcome to my PPCU fic rec blog!
Here you will find daily reblogs of fics for 30 different Pedro Pascal fictional characters (no RPF). There is smut here, so minors begone. đ
Reblogs can revive interest in a fic long after itâs been posted, and this blog aims to give just as much love to older fics as to the newly written ones spilling across our dashes right now. Also, great fics can sometimes go unnoticed for a variety of reasons, so Iâll always showcase any hidden gems I find.
Due to the volume of fics reblogged here, I canât index everything, but I use a strict tagging system to help navigation. Below, youâll find links to narrow down your search.
BY CHARACTER:
Clint Flood (Freaky Tales)
Comandante Veracruz (Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe)
Dave York (The Equalizer 2)
Dieter Bravo (The Bubble)
Din Djarin (The Mandalorian, The Book of Boba Fett, The Mandalorian and Grogu) â I am in love with this man, so his fic recs are over on my main blog, which is 99% dedicated to him (plus 1% tag games)
Shane âDioâ Morrissey (NYPD Blue)
Ezra (Prospect)
Francisco âCatfishâ Morales (Triple Frontier)
Harry Castillo (Materialists)
Jack âWhiskeyâ Daniels (Kingsman: The Golden Circle)
Javi Gutierrez (The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent)
Javier Peña (Narcos)
Joel Miller (The Last of Us)
Lucien Flores (The Uninvited)
Marcus Acacius (Gladiator II)
Marcus Moreno (We Can Be Heroes)
Marcus Pike (The Mentalist)
Max Phillips (Bloodsucking Bastards)
Maxwell Lord (Wonder Woman 1984)
Mr Ben (SNL: Fancam Assembly)
Nathan Landry (The Good Wife)
Nico (House Comes With a Bird)
Oberyn Martell (Game of Thrones)
Pero Tovar (The Great Wall)
Reed Richards (The Fantastic Four: First Steps)
Silva (Strange Way of Life)
Ted Garcia (Eddington)
The Thief (Casillero del Diablo)
Tim Rockford (Merge Mansion)
Zach Wellison (Brothers & Sisters)
ADDITIONAL TAGS:
You can also search specifically for explicit content by adding the word âsmutâ after the character name listed above, e.g. #joel miller smut.
Occasionally, if I think a fic is particularly angsty or fluffy, I may have tagged it like that too, so feel free to try #[character] angst and #[character] fluff in the same way. However, I canât guarantee whether youâll get any hits, as I havenât reliably tagged angst and fluff.
MY FAVOURITES:
These fics in particular have left a lasting impression on me. They just have something extra special about them, and I urge you to appreciate them, too! Iâve been part of the Pedro fandom for several years now, so I hope youâll consider my endorsements reliable.
BY THE WAY:
Yes, I read everything I reblog. I use a variety of fic-hunting methods, and I do thorough research to find the best stories (I have spreadsheets and everything). That said, most fics here are on the shorter side because I also work a full-time job and Iâm a writer myself, which sadly limits my reading time.
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âspoils of warâ â a marcus acacius oneshot
pairing: concubine!marcus acacius x queen!f!reader summary: in war, you either win or lose. and this time, acacius lost it allâhis station, his army, his power, his free will. in a desperate attempt to save his life, he offers his body to you, to do with him as you please. and while the deal he strikes was not in your plans, you jump at the opportunity of subduing a man that once had it all. a/n: i apologise in advance for the utter filth this is. i donât really know what happened or how this came to be, but here we are. i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it <3 tags/tw: 18+, mdni. dark themes. marcus is injured/bleeding. he becomes your concubine/sex slave. power imbalance. exhibitionism/public sex. sex work. coercion, manipulation & descriptions of being held hostage and conditioned through starvation, punishment and reward. capture-bonding/stockholm syndrome. toxic relationship. cheating & cuckolding. brief mention of orgies. a hella lot of filthy smut (degradation & praise, f!oral, handjob, blowjob, piv, creampie, hair pulling). brief mention of girl dad!marcus. time jumps. dual pov. no physical descriptors of reader, no use of y/n. w/c: ~8.3k divider by @\saradika-graphics
âItâd be such a waste to behead him. Heâs a pretty war spoil though,â you lounged back on your seat, scanning him from head to toe.
The man was bathed in bloodâyour peopleâs, most probably. Crimson creased his weathered, fierce features; his heavy-lidded eyes glittered under the torches like ambers from Hell itself, and a stream of ruby dripped down his nose and onto his lips. His armour had seen better days, pierced and dishevelled from the battle.
Prostrated on his knees, now he didnât look so fearsomeâthe Great General of Rome reduced to a broken, almost pitiful version of himself. He carried his posture as if he thought he was actually important here, as if he meant something.
But he didnât.
âI donât have any use for him,â you declared, waving your hand at the men standing guard behind the General. âDonât think heâs even worth any coin in such a state. Make it quick and painless.â
One of the knights reached for his sword, the dull metal screeching.
The Generalâs head snapped towards you, squaring his frame and lifting up his chin, infusing his stance with a flaky determination.
âI may not be worth much to my Empire, but I am sure I can make myself useful to you, domina mea (my lady),â the delivery of his words, honeyed and husky, caught your attention straight away.
âOh, you are that sure, right, Acacius?â you grinned, sitting up on your chair. Heâd definitely captured your straying curiosity. âAnd how, exactly, would you do that, may I ask?â
âI can show you.â
The inflexion in his tone made your head tilt inquisitively. His words carried a lecherous promise, one that swirled in the dark bark of his eyes, the prominent brows shadowing them. It was impossible to mistake his proposition for anything elseâAcacius spoke every word exactly as he intended, openly and plainly.
He was offering himself up for you to enjoy as you saw fit, shamelessly in front of your guard. To be your lover, to satiate your lust, to have him at your disposal whenever you needed of his services.
And while you had no need for a concubine, the Generalâs deal was hard to ignore. He was built like a bear, paws for hands and a stern attitude characteristic of a predator. Even with the torn armour on, you had already undressed him with the eyes of your imaginationâburly and manly, but with a soft tummy product of the passage of time. And right underneath, between the thick, dark curlsâŠ
Your mouth watered.
âThen show me now,â you declared defiantly.
You saw the shock fogging his eyes, as if Acacius had not expected you accept his lewd bid.
âNow?â he whispered between gritted teeth, jaw ticking and glancing at the two knights behind him, who stood impassively with a firm grasp on the pommel of their swords.
âWhat? The Great General suffers from stage freight like a novice jester?â you cocked a brow at him, then rolled your eyes when he didnât budge. âYour choice, Acacius. I donât have all the time in the world for you though, so make up your mind quickly before I get bored.â
Still on his knees, the Roman assessed the situation. You could see he didnât enjoy having a public to perform to, but in your case, you couldnât care less. If he was to be true to his pledge, then Acacius had to learn to let go of control. This was your territory, your rules. And if you wanted him to show you how he could make himself useful to you, then this was the right time and place.
A conceited smile spread across your mouth when Acacius crawled towards your throne, dragging his broken leg and leaving a bloody trail behind. He tried to hide the agonising pain it caused him, his jaw completely engaged and his eyes bloodshot, groaning under his breath.
When he reached you, when Acacius was kneeling right in front of you, you coaxed your legs apart, still covered by the long skirt you wore.
âShow me how the best General of Rome makes himself useful to me, Acacius,â you uttered with a smirk, leaning back on your throne.
You both held each otherâs gaze for a minute that felt like an eternityâAcacius sizing your resolution, looking for a fracture in your façade, and you studying him intently, trying to decipher the limits of a man you had just conquered in the battlefield.
Was he bluffing? Did he really think that you wouldnât accept the trade? Was he just buying time because he thought someone was coming to his rescue? None of his men had survived your wrath; he was completely alone. Rome had deserted him tooâthe rearguard from the other General in command he so desperately relied on had retreated and fled by boat.
Or did he think that because you were a woman, you were above indulging in sex work? Perhaps in Rome your actions would be frowned upon, but this wasnât Rome. This was your kingdom, a matriarchal society that had survived the fist of those who attempted to dominate your people. Youâd faced Empires more powerful than Rome, men more influential than Acacius. None of them had weathered your troopsâAcacius was the first highborn whose life youâd considered to spare. Only if you got something in return.
âAs you wish, milady,â he reluctantly agreed, eyes burning hot and his nose still dripping blood.
His hands wrapped around your ankles, cold, rough and calloused, and slowly rode your skirt up your shins until it bunched up on top of your upper thighs. Your skin bristled at the contact, but his warm breath near your knee soothed the coldness of the stone room.
His darkened eyes found yours in the midst of seduction, a muted question hanging off his lipsâbut you didnât care about the state of him, his bruises or the blood.
âShall IâŠ?â he ventured, but you shook your head and lifted your chin up, an unspoken invitation to continue.
Acacius nodded, almost as if convincing himself that this was actually happening. It wouldnât had he shut up and accepted the painless death youâd offered, this was all his own doing. It wasnât your fault that youâd been keen to test his resolve.
Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to the inside of your knee, his tongue driving up your inner thigh unhurriedly, building up the expectation. His meaty fingers squeezed your left calf and locked your leg in place, preventing you from closing them as he approached the core of your desire.
Your heart raced faster when the skirt rolled all the way up to your waist, exposing your glistening pussy to his undivided attentionâhe seemed to have forgotten about the audience, fleetingly mesmerised as he was by the sight in front of him, but you hadnât.
Your two guards were standing right in front of you, ready to spring into action if Acacius dared to do something stupid. One of them was looking to a vague point right behind you, while the younger one couldnât rein in his own curiosity and tracked the Generalâs movements between your legs, undoubtedly trying to catch a glance of your cunt.
You smiled at the knight, who momentarily looked flustered before fixing his gaze on the same spot as the other one, to then return your heed to the man nicely slotted between your legs. His broad shoulders took up all the space, your legs straining around his sturdy frame.
Acacius glanced up at you, silently checking in, when one of his massive hands hovered near your groin. It almost seemed like the poor man needed some reassurance, so in a moment of weakness, you stroked the thick, silverly curls of his crown. The gesture was enough to prompt his thumb, which raked through the unruly curls on your mound before it dipped in your slit in search of treasure.
The first contact was electrifying enough for you to sigh and lounge back, eyes fluttering close. His pad was coarse on your clit, but the gentle, deep circles he drew softened your nub. His mouth trailed bloodied pecks on your inner thigh, your attention divided between his lips and his thumb.
His wrist twisted, thumb still flicking your clit, for his ring and middle fingers to ghost over your entrance. Your folds had just begun to harbour dampness, but Acacius would need to work you more and better if he was to bring you to the heavens, if he wanted to keep his head on his shoulders.
The General must have noticed that he had to persevere, that a couple of brushes on your pussy and a few licks on your inner thighs were not going to be enough to pardon his life. And once he realised that, a spark of resolution ignited his eyes. Acacius straightened his back, still on his knees, and swallowed a tormented whimper when his full weight pressed down on his broken leg.
He towered to your height, his sight at your level now.
âPainful, huh?â you mocked him with a wavering smile when he thumbed at your clit harsher and faster, as if he was trying to punish you for the ridicule.
He didnât reply, just held your gaze with defiance, a hint of hatred glittering. Your hands grasped the armrests of the cushioned chair when his fingers stalked your hole but didnât penetrate.
âYou like this, donât you? Having control over me, over my life; making me do this with your guards right there,â he husked out, his pads gently rubbing your entire slit from top to bottom, sliding on the soft inner skin of your pussy lips. âI owe you and you own me, thatâs the deal, right?â
âMhm, yes,â you muttered, breath hitching now that his fingers alternated between skidding on your cunt and smothering your burning clit. âAnd donât worry about them. They wonât join unless you donât do your job.â
His stare clouded with a dark passion that wasnât there beforeâthe challenge spurring something in him. You did mean it: if he didnât make you come, one of the knights would and Acacius would lose his head. You didnât need a concubine that didnât know his way around your body.
His eyes dropped from your lips down to your bosom. You were only wearing a thin linen dress, so thin your perked up nipples were greeting him. Acacius tilted forward and his tongue darted out to lick one of your excited peaks over the textile. Just a testing dash, but when you sighed and your head lolled back, the General cracked a devilish grinâheâd found your weak spot.
He latched onto your breast, wetting the fabric with his blood and spit as he sucked your nipple into his mouth. Acacius rolled it between his teeth and pulled gently, enough for your back to arch and your pussy to gush on his tantalising fingers. Your heart bounced around in your ribcage with every lap of his tongue and every stroke on your now pulsing clit.
Your cunt was finally drenched, could feel threads of slick sticking to Acaciusâ fingers every time he tapped your bundle of nerves before rolling deep circular motions on it. The Romanâs digits orbited your dripping entrance, his eyes shooting up to yours with pride when he found you ready to take his fingers.
âSeems like I can do my job after all, domina,â he mumbled, kissing your nipple one last time. âYou are soaking wet, so your guardsmenâs services wonât be required tonight.â
His cockiness was in stark contrast to his demeanour a few minutes ago, when he was helplessly dragging himself across the room towards you. Both versions of him were appealing, the lame one and the overconfident one.
You chuckled, but the laugh got stuck at the back of your throat when two of his fingers plunged into your hole in one sweet, smooth motion, burying them down to the knuckles. The half-chortle quickly mutated into a high-pitched moan when Acacius hooked his fingers inside you, pressing on that perfect spongy spot that not many men knew how to find.
âYou arenât laughing now, are you?â he pressed his luck, and you looked down at him with heavy-lidded eyes.
âShut up and put your mouth to work before I change my mind,â you threatened, grabbing a fistful of his hair and pushing him down your frame.
Acacius stopped at your chest again, but you clicked your tongue in a negative and forced him even further down.
âI want you to eat me out. Suck my clit while you finger me good and deep. Fuck me with your tongue and lick me clean after I come in your mouth,â you shamelessly demanded of him.
Your request shocked him again, eyes widened and pupils blown, probably because he wasnât used to women being direct about what they wanted. You were no unexperienced girl, no Roman highborn that would get rattled with crude words. You were a grown-up, seasoned woman who knew exactly her preferences in bed and outside of it and had no shame in expressing them out loud.
Acacius didnât moveâhis fingers plugging you while his jaw hung open.
âDidnât I make myself clear, Acacius? Or have you never eaten pussy before?â
âIâuhâŠâ he stuttered, neither confirming nor denying.
You had an inkling that if he had, he didnât do it often. Going down on a woman was considered dirty and even sordid in other cultures, but here it was the highest praise one could give to a partner.
You rolled your eyes, tugging at his greying hair.
âYou better learn quickly then if you want to live,â you warned him, shoving his face between your legs. âEat me out like your life depends on it. Because it does.â
Acacius didnât need to pronounce any words because his eyes spoke for himâdisobedience and survival dancing around in the brown of his irises. The imagery was enough to send you into orbit: the praised General of Rome knelt before you with a bruised face, a broken nose dripping blood, a leg in urgent need of being mended before it caused long term damage and a fractured ego. And while he wasnât blindly obedient yet, there he was, following your commandâstripped of power, of autonomy, reduced to a recalcitrant sex worker.
He peered up at you with the fiercest look when you pushed his head and mouth closer to your cunt, eager for him to start. His warm breath fanned your curls, his fingers deeply wedged into you.
A sense of rewarding victory washed over you when his tongue sticked out, a mute surrender on his part, marking the beginning of his endâof the fall of Rome to your feet. You had to suppress an excited giggle when Acacius finally lapped at the surface of your valley, all the while maintaining eye contact.
His free fingers pried your pussy lips open, exposing your beating clit to the cool air of the room. But that sore coldness was soon replaced by the heat of his tongueâfirst a gentle, measured kitten lick before the tip flicked your nub while his fingers withdrew from your insides to hammer back in.
âOh, Gods,â you whimpered in relief, head canted back as your eyes shut in delight.
Acacius surprised you by sucking on your bud, a proper open-mouth kiss that had your legs quivering around him, squeezing his shoulders so he wouldnât go anywhereâthis was exactly where he belonged, worshipping your cunt. His tongue flattened and dragged along your labia while fingering you relentlessly, pumping in and out so fast it was making you dizzy.
âFuck, such a good boy you are,â you whined as your knees began quaking, your hands hurting as you grabbed onto the armrests with even more strength, afraid you might fall off the throne if you didnât steady yourself. âYouâre doing so well, Acacius.â
He grunted in reply, eyes closed and his forehead resting on your mound as he buried the bottom half of his face into your crotch.
A little praise could go a long way, especially when the man wasnât particularly eager to give head. The Roman was really putting in the work now, his tongue rippling against your clit and his lips pressing around it. He paused to catch his breath, panting heavily while the tip of his aquiline nose brushed your sensitive clit and his fingers scissored inside you. And then feverishly latched onto the centre of your pleasure again.
That was almost your undoing, deafening desire ringing in your ears and your body almost transcending into the immortal plane. Your hands shot to your breasts, pinching your nipples as you moaned out loud. You could feel your pussy clutching around the intrusion, palpitating with the anticipation of release.
You were dying to come crushing down. But not on his fingers, no.
âStop,â you cried out, reining in the desperation taking a hold of your being.
Acacius glanced up at you, pussy-drunk and confused. His tongue was still glued to your clit, but his digits eased out of you.
âI want to come in your mouth,â it was an order that was almost formulated as a plea. âFuck me with your tongue, Acacius. Show me how much you want to live.â
Without needing any more directions, the Generalâs mouth travelled down until his lips lined up with yours. The tip of his tongue circled your leaking opening a couple of times before diving in, finding refuge in your core.
You shuddered, a shiver running up your spine while Acaciusâ tongue plunged in and out with astonishing ease. His hands were completely splayed on your inner thighs, keeping your legs spread open for him. The incessant stimulation, coupled with you playing with your breasts, was enough to send you into oblivion.
After what felt like the longest eating out session, a mind-shattering orgasm hit you with the strength of a godsent army. Your pleasure had been building up so much, you squirted into his mouth as a scream ripped your lungs and throat. Acacius stayed put between your legsâdrinking from your fountain, reaping the benefits of his hard work.
When your whole body slackened and your breathing calmed down, Acacius emerged from in between your legs. His nose had stopped bleeding, but his cheeks, chin and facial hair were smeared with dried blood and your slick.
âWhat a pretty picture,â you laughed, completely relaxed. Then stole a glance at your core. âClean me up, canât leave me with this mess.â
Acacius didnât say a word, either too stunned or fighting his own urges. He wasnât going to find relief with you, not today. He was most probably rock hard under the armoured groin protection, but if he was to be a good concubine, heâd have to learn that his relief was yours to dispense.
He bowed down and diligently did as told, lapping at your inner thighs and every crevice in your pussy. Licked all the bloodied trails, all the silken wetness clinging onto your tender skin thoroughly. He then readjusted your skirt, which cascaded down your legs again as if nothing had happened.
When Acacius was done, he sat back on his heels but was soon reminded of his broken tibia. He groaned in blinding pain before manoeuvring his own leg out from under his body.
Silence reigned as you sized each other.
He would be a great addition to your personal life, that was undeniable. A quick, eager learner that would do anything for you. You just had to train him well so he wouldnât forget who he belonged to.
âYeah, Iâll keep you,â you declared with a smirk.
The crowâs feet around his eyes softened, a sigh of relief stuck at the back of his throat.
Your attention returned to the two guardsmen in the room behind the General. In the heat of the moment, you had completely forgotten about the public witnessing Acaciusâ descent. The older one hadnât moved an inch, being used to this kind of open sexual displays and even being part of them when you required it. The younger one, however, was sweating and sporting a very obvious wet spot on the front of his wool trousersâheâd come watching Acacius eating you out.
Poor thing, you couldnât blame him. You waved at him, who awkwardly stepped forward, avoiding your eye contact.
 âShow Acacius to his new chamber in the basement,â you ordered as the younger knight helped him up. âAnd get a healer for this man, clean and feed him so heâs presentable at all times.â
âBasement?â the Roman retorted back, a bite of surprise in his tone.
âI wasnât planning on taking you hostage. Thatâs the best I can offer right now. Who knows, if you do well in your new role, I might upgrade your living quarters.â
You could tell he wasnât happy at all. You couldnât care less. He was in no position to negotiateâheâd already offered his body, the man had nothing else to give.
âYouâre always on call, Acacius. Remember that,â you raised your voice just enough for him to hear while the knight dragged him out of the gallery.
One year later
Marcus wrapped his hand around the opposite wrist, rubbing the open, oozing wound the shackles had imprinted on his skin.
Heâd lived in darkness for so long, adapted to it, any source of light always made his eyes prickle uncomfortably now. It didnât matter for how long he was above ground when one of your guards dragged him out of the dungeon, it just hurt and never got better.
Some days Marcus wished heâd taken the easy way out, wished you hadnât listened to him and beheaded him instead. Death was more sheltered than this life he was living nowâpacing around the tiny room heâd called home for over a year, waiting for your call, for anything to distract him.
The first time he fought back against the handcuffs, a small army was sent to restrain him and carry him upstairs. But you recompensed him like a stray dog searching for leftovers, fed him yourself and had a medic look at his shin and nose. Told him that everything was going to be alright, that youâd do everything necessary so he could keep his leg intact. And with his belly full and a weak sense of tranquillity, you threw him back into the dungeon.
For a while it was a vicious circle: he resisted and you punished him, depriving him of sunlight, food and water for days. Would strip him naked, leaving him completely exposed in the cold dungeon until Marcus couldnât take it anymore and would beg for some clothes, a dirty blanket, anything to protect his skin from the biting cold. Heâd learned that if he behaved well, was polite and did everything you asked, then you would throw him some clothes to cover himself and warm up. And he would thank you every fucking time, grateful for your charity.
When his stoicism would falter, youâd reward him. And only when heâd be at his lowest, you would require of his services. Only when he felt broken inside, a debilitating desperation consuming him, youâd order him to fuck you.
Marcus felt disgustingly used, a puppet whose strings you expertly played. But at some point, that desperate feeling morphed. He would be in his cell, boredom and despair competing for his attention, and a tiny inside voice would whisper in his ear that he just needed a distraction to keep his mind off things. And miraculously, youâd ask for him, a momentary relief in being outside of that cage for whatever period of time you deemed.
And over time, heâd found himself dragging your pleasure, edging you for as long as possible. Because the longer Marcus was in your bed, satisfying all your kinks and darkest desires, the less time he would have to spend in the humid dungeon. The longer he made himself useful to youâthe more times he made you come on his mouth, fingers or cockâthe less time his brain would blame him for being in the position heâd chosen.
It was strange how much he hated you and needed you equallyâhow his mind rejected the very notion of you, but his heart softened around the edges, clinging onto whatever chink of comfort you could offer him. Being at your mercy was a daily mental struggle, but a small, illogical part of him sought the breadcrumbs of your approval.
It had become hard to tell reality and emotions apartâthe contradictions between his actions and feelings nagged at him every waking hour. And when the voices in his head were too loud, you vanished them for him, bossing him around. Having no choice in where his life was headed was strangely comforting for a man who used to make decisions all the time.
âAcacius?â you redirected his straying attention. âDonât make me repeat myself again.â
So lost heâd been in his head, Marcus hadnât caught what you said a few seconds earlier. But by the way your hungry eyes stared at his naked form, his lap in particular, he could deduce what you had asked of him.
Already half hard, Marcus seized his cock with a tight grip and stroked himself all the way from the base to the tip. A low grumble hiked up his throat with every pump. Your eagerness incited himâthe sooner his dick steeled to a full erection, the sooner he could find refuge in you.
You huffed and Marcusâ eyes shot to yours, not understanding why you were displeased with his actions. Slowly, you closed the distance, walking towards him completely bare. The once General of Rome couldnât help himself but admire the delicate, delicious curves of your body. He couldnât deny that the sensuality of the tilt of your hips as you approached him.
His manhood reacted to the simple sight of youâa Pavlovian response he should be ashamed of.
âI said, I want to do it myself today,â you mumbled once your mouth was dangerously close to hisâa mouth heâd never tasted. One hand pressed to his chest, and the other wrapping around the back of his, guiding the pumps on his cock. âIâm feeling generous.â
Your petition shocked himâyouâd never touched his dick, never masturbated him. You always had him do it while you played with yourself, as if it was some sort of sick game. Because it wasnât about his pleasure, but yours. Countless times heâd daydreamed about it, about how your warm, soft palm would feel gripping him tight, jerking him off.
Holding your gaze, Marcus unsheathed his erection, his arms falling aimlessly to his sides. Wetting your lips, you winked at him before squeezing him hard. He grizzled at the contact and when the first pump was delivered, Marcus almost lost his goddamn mind.
His palms felt itchy while you worked him hard, so to keep them busy, he half-hugged you to grasp your ass cheeks and knead them. You imposed a maddeningly slow rhythm, your strokes firm but deliberately unhurried. And as the pace built up, as you pumped him faster, Marcus sighed and bent over slightly to bury his face in the curve of your neck.
These were the rewards that kept him sane, kept him going. He was fully aware of what you were doing, of how you were training him to be your perfect sex slave, but it had gotten to a point where he just didnât care anymore. He was yours, in mind and body.
Still standing, you paused suddenly, leaving him reeling for more. And then you tapped his leaky knob on your pussy a few times.
âOh, you are ready. Such a needy boy, already throbbing with just a few pumps?â you mocked him, taking a step back.
His Adamâs apple bobbed at your sinful smirk, your hand intertwined with his as you led him towards one of the futons in the room. The walls were decorated with vivid tapestries in red and black, only lighted by a few torches on the exposed stone. At first glance, it just looked like a private room to receive guests, but the reality was much differentâthis was where you indulged in sex, where you would host orgies for the noblemen and noblewomen in your court.
Not that he had participated in any, because as you once said, âYouâre mine and mine only to enjoy. I want you all for myself, Acacius.â
Marcus sat on the futon when you pushed him down. Towering above him, you reached for him, caressing his cheek, while you ushered his other hand to your cunt. His fingers dipped in your slit, a testing touchâyou were already wet, your pussy tacky enough for him to assume that you had already engaged in sex before sending for him.
âYou know, I should punish you,â you whispered, his finger gently rubbing your clit. âJust had two men dicking me down and neither of them made me finish. No one makes me come anymore, not like you do.â
Acacius should be sickened, and while a pang of jealousy rooted in his belly, his chest swelled with pride. A sense of achievement warmed his tummyâhe was convinced you needed him as much as he needed you.
âPunish me if you must, domina, but I take pride in that,â he cooed back, a half-grin curving his lips.
You laughed, then shook your head as you climbed on top of him. âYouâre proud? Well, you should be. But Iâve got to say, I take credit for that though. Iâve trained you well, havenât I?â
Marcus nodded with the right dose of submission. âYou have.â
Your eyes searched his for a moment too longâso long Acacius thought you were going to kiss him. But it was a fleeting mirage, because a second later you were straddling him backwards.
Marcus reclined a little and held himself half up by placing his palms against the futon, as he watched you lining your pussy up with his cock, lifting your butt up at the perfect angle. From here, he could see your lips glistening with another manâs seed, and the reminder made his teeth grit. He would make sure you would forget all about the others, make sure it was only his name you would moanâthat only his name would echo between these walls.
Tilting your waist back, your puffy lips hugged his pearly cockhead. The rolling of your hips had him completely locked inâhow his glans would kiss your dripping entrance, going partially in to then come out with a pop. It was diabolical of you to provoke him like this, when the only thing he wantedâneededâwas to bury himself in you.
You must have read his mind, because your palms squeezed his knees for support and then you plummeted down on him. Marcus watched his full length disappear into your greedy pussy with awe. You always took him so well, despite of how big and girthy he was. Always hugged him so tight, your walls fluttering around him as he cracked you open.
His shaft slid in and out of you with ease, slowly and beautifully. Almost theatrically, you waved your hips, arching your back to bury him as deeply as possible. You took your time, rolling on him over and over again until both of you were breathless. And only then, you began riding him properly, upping the pace with every push of your knees.
You straightened your back, bouncing on him and holding your breasts. You craned your neck and then moaned loudly.
âOh, God, Acaciusââ you choked back another wail, your whole presence a sight to behold. âI love how you fuck me, baby. You pry me open so good and wide it almost hurts.â
Marcusâ head spun with your compliments, mesmerised with how sweat ran down your spine. He hadnât had anything to drink, but it surely felt like heâd had too much wine.
In the heat of the moment, when you were both near release, a knock on the door momentarily drowned your sobs and his grunts. It didnât faze either of you though, used as he was to have a public by now. You had made him fuck you through interruptions several times, this wasnât something new.
âComeââ your tone went an octave too high when his cockhead hit your cervix. âCome in.â
Marcus heard the door creak open. He couldnât see who it was but recognised the voice of the guard.
âMilady, heâs arrived.â
âSeâOh, fuck,â you whined, completely sat on his throbbing cock and rolling your hips. âSend him in.â
You had stopped jumping on him but continued to roll your hips to keep the momentum going. He was balls deep into your pussy, your inner walls contracting around him with maddening pressure. Marcus was so focused on how you clenched, he didnât pay attention to the new presence in the room until you spoke.
âTake a seat, my dear husband.â
Marcus sat right up, his hands anchoring to either side of your waist and his head peeking above your shoulder to look at the man youâd called husbandâinstant resentment poisoning his chest.
The other man looked just as confused as he was, his jaw ticking at the scene in front of himâhis wife, you, riding another man, riding him.
âWhat the fuck is going on?â Your husband spoke between gritted teeth, sitting down on the futon directly across from where you both laid. âThis is not what was agreed.â
Your sweaty palms covered the back of Marcusâ hands, holding him there as you hoisted your hips up. The wet slide of your cunt around his length made him dizzy and just when his crying glans was about to slip out of your warmth, you impaled yourself again, pressing down on him with such force, Marcus couldnât stop the groan that rumbled through his chest.
âWe agreed to merge our lands through marriage,â you bit backâMarcus could even imagine how your brows would be bunching up right now, exasperated at the defiance. âAnd that was it. What I do, who I fuck, is none of your business.â
âIt is. You are my wife. We are married now. A woman shouldââ
âA woman should take the pleasure offered to her. And Acacius here, he is always willing to offer me a good time, right, sweetheart?â You glanced at him over your shoulder, a grin curling the corners of your lips as your cunt squeezed around him, prompting him to talk.
âYes,â was his automatic response.
You clutched around him againâhis reward for the right answer.
Marcusâ head was spinning with the new information. When did you marry? Who was this man? Why hadnât you said anything before? What would be of him if you now had a husband? Would you discard him? Would you get rid of him?
The unanswered questions sent him into a panic. You couldnât get rid of him, not that easilyânot when he obeyed your every order now, not when youâd broken him past the possibility of mending. You had stripped him of everything, even of his free will, and replaced the parts of him that heâd lost with the qualities you desired in a man.
You playfully winked at him for his response, gave his hands a reassuring pat before your attention returned to your husband. Determined to safeguard what he had left of a life he never thought for himself, Acacius looked at the man, a dangerous darkness swirling in his pupilsâa silent threat to back off, to not even think about destroying the little hope he had left. Because if your husband did, if he dared to even try to make you discard him, heâd kill him with his bare hands.
âI donât careââ the man began to retort back, standing up.
âSit down,â your voice went up, so adamant your husband just did as told, taken aback by your acritude. âYou have a few things to learn now that your land has become mine. We do things differently here.â
As you continued talking, so did your riding. You rocked your hips on Marcusâ lap one more time before bobbing up and down on his thudding cock. Marcusâ mind was spiralling so much, he barely registered you talking about how your husband would hold no royal title in your kingdom, how he wasnât any more important than any other man in your territory. About the adhesion of land and collection of taxes from your new subjects, about how everything your husband thought his, was no longer because it belonged to you. Youâd played him, just like you had played Marcus a year ago.
It really amazed him how you could discuss intricate topics while fucking yourself on his dick. Because not even once did you falter, your pace constant as your cunt sheathed his cock; how your inner walls squeezed when he was buried down to the hilt, his loaded, now painful balls kissing your most intimate lips.
Only from time to time youâd be out of breath, would bite your bottom lip trying to stop a pleasure cry when his cockhead would drag along your anterior wall, pressing on that perfect, heavenly spot inside you.
But as lust built up inside both of you, the rhythm of your plunges became more erratic, your cunt stuttering around him with impending release. And knowing the map of your body as he did, Marcus pressed his forehead against your sweaty back, jaw locked when your pussy fluttered beautifully around his girth.
His hands splayed on your waist helped ground you, but Marcus spared one to press it onto your lower belly. Applied the right amount of pressure so you could feel his cock parting your insides, taking up all the damp space in your womb. Your fingernails dug in the skin of his knees, leaving bloody crescents behind, when that same hand trailed down, raking through your curls until Marcus found your clit.
âHope youâre learning a thing or two from Acacius, dear husband. F-fuck,â you uttered breathless, whining aloud when Marcus drew tight circles on your throbbing nubâhe could feel your heartbeat on his rough pads now, choking his manhood too. âFuck, Acacius. Yeah, oh, Gods. Iâm coming. Fill me up to the brim, baby, give it all to me.â
At your command, Marcus finally let go, draining his pleasure and frustration right into your quivering pussy, still kneading your clit as you rode your own climax out. Claiming you for himself, he felt his dick unload for minutes, stuffing your cunt full of his warm, white seed. Your walls constricted his girth with inhumane strength, announcing another orgasm that washed over you so intensely, you leaned back on him for support, heaving like a manic, milking him dry of every last drop he had to offer.
His ears rang with the crash-outâit almost felt like tripping near a cliff and falling over into the void. The sweet release you let Marcus find in your core was the best gift for a shattered man like him. Deep down, he was grateful to be yours. For letting him have this, have you. And Marcus wouldnât allow any other man, husband or not, to endanger the only reprieve he could experience.
âThank you, sweetheart. I knew you wouldnât disappoint me. I can always count on you to make me come,â you flattered him, a warm sensation spreading over his body as his cock softened inside you.
You kneaded his testicles almost lovingly, as if making sure he had nothing left to give, and then got off his lap, standing up to your full height, his limp dick abandoning your insides with a squelch.
Marcus leaned back on the futon, spent and tired, and watched you walked completely naked towards your husband. The light from the torches glittered on your skin, his cum dripping down your inner thighs in spurts. When you approached the other man, Marcus realised that your husband had been watching the whole scene develop reluctantly, with a hate in his eyes that didnât quite reach his cockâthe other man was hard, his trousers tented.
âThe sooner you learn your place, dear husband, the easier it will be. Acacius can attest to that, right?â
âYes,â he replied submissively, bowing his head down.
Marcus believed his own answer to be the truth. Because it was.
Five years later
While you loved being in complete control, over the last few years you had learnt to let go of it in some rare occasionsâto let Acacius take control while your brain emptied of all the worry that came with running and defending a kingdom from the grasp of your enemies. Just in small doses, so heâd remember his place in your life, but enough to create a false sense of authority.
Youâd made the decision shortly after your marriage, when you started noticing how Acacius was becoming numb to his own existence, bitter to the presence of your husband. Allowing him to take charge of some aspects of his life was enough to bring back the defiant spark in his eyes that had captivated you the first time you met.
In the span of time, Acacius had learnt all your tellsâwhen you were not in the mood at all, when you needed to be in full dominion and when you needed him to take over and just fuck you stupid until your brain was desensitized.
Just like a loyal lap dog youâd trained him, always awaiting the orders of his owner. You had grown fond of himâcherished him in a pathological, toxic way. Accepting his deal six years ago was probably the smartest choice, because you had enjoyed every damn second. It had taken a lot of blood, sweat and even tears, but finally Marcus was exactly the man you needed him to beâblindly devoted, keen to please you whenever and wherever you asked, and fierce in how heâd protected you in the battlefield and outside of it.
And you had rewarded him finely for it. Gave him purpose by knighting him, promoting him to be a commander in your army and the head of your own personal guard. And most of all, you had bestowed upon him the heaviest, most important title a man could have in your land: being the father of your only child, heiress to the throne.
Marcus was a great, present father; your daughter had him completely wrapped around her little finger. Even though you would never admit it out loud, your heart melted a little every time youâd see them togetherâplaying around on the grounds of the castle, dusting off her knees and kissing her tears away when sheâd fall or teaching her how to hold a toy bow when she was old enough.
There had never been rumours floating around in your court. Your daughter had an uncanny resemblance to her father, so much Marcusâ parenthood was never questioned. Even your poor husband knew it and had to live with the situation. It wasnât your fault that he was a prune and mediocre at best in bedâcouldnât make a woman come even if his life depended on it. What a disappointment of a man heâd been, but at least his dowry was worth the pantomime.
And while your husband was still the one warming your bed to save some appearance, most nights you would sneak out to the spartan adjacent room where Marcus slept now. Just like tonight.
You were bent over the wooden frame at the foot of the bed, Marcus holding your hips up while you were on your tiptoes. He was railing you so hard, the whole bed shook under the strength of his thrusts. The wooden headboard rattled against the wall shared with your bedroom, where your husband was pretending to sleep.
A moan tore your throat, unable as you were to not be vocal about the passion you both shared. His a trained one, yours a natural one.
âHarder. Fuck me harder, Marcus,â you cooed, a thread of spit hanging off your parted lips, your walls hugging him tight. âJust like that. Yes, harder, deeper! Destroy me, break me.â
Your pleas only spurred his resolution, one of his hands flying to the nape of your neck and grabbing a fistful of your hair. He pulled your head back, your back arching off. Your pussy made the most beautiful squelching sounds every time he thrusted in, the lewd cacophony of flesh meeting ricocheting in the room.
Marcus was still haunted by the memory of your wet, warm mouth around his weeping glans. How you suckled on his tip, sucking his whole length in and gagging on it like a slut. How your tongue had played with his slit, grazing it gently with your teeth before you swallowed his entire cock again. How your fingers had massaged his testicles while your saliva and his precum cascaded down and dampened his lap.
It had been the first time in six years that you had given him headâhis fine reward for preventing an attempt on your life earlier that morning by a scorned nobleman. The intense pleasure spiked so high in his system, Marcus had come unannounced in your mouth, like a rookie concubine. Seeing you gulping down his spend and smiling almost made him lose his mind. âI canât waste it,â you had purred in his ear.
And that memory, along with your cries, were what fuelled him to pound into your heat with renewed vigour. The promise of another orgasm was enough for his cock to harden under your diligent touchâyouâd trained him well for minimal downtime and maximum playtime.
âI feel you in my guts, right here,â your honeyed voice brought him back to the present.
You guided his hand from one of your hips to your tummy, right above your mound, and he noticed his own cock pushing in and out of you. Marcus felt like a wild animal in heat every time you were so crude, so open about what you needed of him.
âWant me to rearrange them for you, domina?â he rasped out, unforgivingly rutting into you.
âYes, please,â and that little concession, that whispered please he had never heard before, sent him over the edge.
His hips snapped harshly against your ass and letting go of your hair, Marcus grabbed both of your ass cheeks, easing them apart to catch a glance of literal heaven. Creamy rings wrapped around his girth, your desire evident and slick on his cock. Watching himself piston into you, how his length got swallowed up to then reappear with even more beautiful ivory bands around himself, made him pant behind you.
Marcus waited on your signal, your permission to unload into your core. And when your pussy started shuddering around him arrhythmically, he knew that was his cue. Fucked into you harder, hypnotised as he was seeing his whole shaft disappear into you, to then finally empty his balls at the same time you came on his cock.
It took him a couple of minutes to catch his breath, your legs still quaking with the aftermath of your own frenzy. When Marcus regained control of his own body, he gently pulled out of your dripping heat and watched in awe how his semen oozed out of your cunt, white pearls clinging onto your clit and inner labia while the rest of it trickled down to the floor.
Marcus reached between your legs, gathering his cum and your sweet release to push it back inside your mouthing hole. He fucked his seed back into you with his fingers, bending down and licking the salt off your back at the same time.
You whimpered, overstimulated, and your pussy clutched again, gifting him with another beautiful orgasm as you came on his fingers.
âIâd kill for you, my queen.â
He truly meant it. Perhaps it was wrongâhow down bad he was for you after you had ripped him apart. How you had destroyed his ego to then build it back up to your likeness.
The only thing Marcus knew was that he owed you his life, and you owned him. And that made him feel safe. That had always been the deal he struck, and he was extremely content with it now.
âI know, Marcus,â you keened, turning around in his embrace with a beaming smile and draping your arms around his neck. âI know that I can ask anything of you, and you will do it for me like the good guard dog you are.â
And suddenly, you tilted forward, pressing your mouth to his in a kiss that soon got deep, wet and needy. The first kiss heâd ever tasted from your lips, sweeter than he could have ever imagined. So damn sweet, he felt lightheaded as your tongue wrestled his for a dominance he quickly surrendered.
Yes. Marcus Acacius, the once feared and decorated General of Rome, would do absolutely anything for you.
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Mercury Falling
summary: you have a message for the general.
regni rerumque oblite tuarum? - Aeneid by Virgil (Mercury to Aeneas: you forget your kingdom and destiny?)
|| MDNI 18+ smut, angst, fluff, oh my! Marcus Acacius x reader, secret relationship, marcus is not married, so much latin but I have a study guide beneath the cut for you, hurt/comfort, arguments, man handling, kissing, praise, dirty talk, riding, f!receiving oral, pinv, marcus is a large man, creampie, breeding kink, no y/n, no daddy kink, domestic dirty talk lol || a/n I: Mercury is one of the Roman gods and is known for delivering divine messages between worlds. I took Latin in highschool so my knowledge is finally being used but still I am dependent on google for many things so please forgive any inaccuracies! a/n II: this is my submission for @pedroscurls's ppcu dialogue challenge. my dialogue was "you can't, or you won't?" tysm!! x wc: 6.5k
roman vocab (oh, dr c if you could see me now) domine: lord, master, a title meant for respect nuntia: messenger, female mea cara: my beloved Kalends of Iunius: first of June filia mercurii: daughter of mercury Augusti: plurual of Augustus, which was the title of emporers fututores: fuckers vir meus: my husband
It is far too hot to be traveling.
Although it is nearly evening, sweat runs down the bare column of your neck, stinging where the sun pressed for hours against your topmost vertebrae before falling down the length of your spine.
It does not matter. You know this plainly. It does not matter if the tender flesh between your toes rubs raw against dry leather, nor if your shoulders burn beneath Solâs temper on this early spring day, his bright chariot riding closer than it should as it dragged the sun too near to the earth. Perhaps the God has taken offense to the season priorâwinter was harsh, spring slow yet eager to bloom, fields finally thin with green, but mostly thick and swampy with mud and muck. Perhaps it is punishment for some forgotten slight. The gods have long memories, after all.
It makes little difference. As Sol shows no mercy to the road, the Augusti show none to the general who must ride it.
At last you see it in the distance.
At last.
You take in cream colored linen tents, risen from earth like ant hills, dirtied with mud and blood from many months of rain and storms and fighting. They stand raised by wooden poles as their horses graze nearby in half made paddocks where the grass has already been turned to mud by hooves and soldiersâ boots.
It takes some time to find him.
He is not seated within some grand pavilion at the heart of the encampment. There are no guards planted stiffly at any of the entrances, no noise of revelry spilling out into the early evening air. No drunken laughter rolling between the tents, no clatter of cups or men grown loud and foolish on too much wine.
Instead there is the quieter life about the camp.
You hear the light clatter of dishes somewhere within the rows of tents as soldiers settle down for evening rations. There is a slow rasp of iron on stone as one draws their blade along a whetstone. You see a few with wrapped linen and gauze around wounds. Some around an arm or a leg, one covering a bloodied eye. Here and there small cookfires burn low, men crouched beside them writing letters in the fading light of day, heads bent over wax tablets or scraps of parchment that you will carry back across the empire.
You draw your tote closer to your side as you pass and a few of them look up.
Curiosity follows you down the narrow lane between the tents. It is not often someone like you walks through a legionary camp. And the of a woman besides. You know it is more skin than most of them have seen in months, perhaps longer. You halfheartedly assess your own clothing, obscenely aware of how short your tunic is, how much skin you are showing, originally only to keep yourself cool but now seems egregiously unsafe. Your shoulders and arms, supple but reddened by the road, catch their eyes as you move. You quicken your pace.
A soldierâs encampment is not known for gentleness, nor patience, and certainly not for manners.
The tent you seek blends in with the others, set just behind the line of command tents where the officers take their counsel. Larger than the rest, though not ostentatious, its linen walls are marked with the same dust and weather as every other shelter in the camp. A vexillum has been driven into the earth beside it, a square Roman battle flag bearing the generalâs insignia that stirs lazily in the warm breeze.
You step inside with little ceremony to see three men standing around a wooden table, the dim interior lit by oil lamps that flicker at your intrusion.
To his leftâa soldier, hardened, wearing a cuirass across his chest and a hand resting near his hilt of his gladius. Habit, surely, would not allow it far from reach.
To his right, a young officer or clerk, ink-stained fingers clutching a wax tablet, a stylus poised in the air where he had been taking down orders.
And in the middle, the man you seek. Taller and broader than either of those beside him, dark curls fallen loose across a battle-worn brow. He fills the space entirely as your eyes find him before you can force them elsewhere.
All three of them look up the moment you enter.
âDomine,â you greet, bowing your head. âI bring word.â
The general, immense in his stillness, studies you in silence. You can't see it, but you can feel the slow weight of his gaze travel from your swollen feet to your sunburnt cheekbones and the frazzled crown of braids atop your head.
âLeave us,â he commands.
The men do not question him. They wouldn't dare. The faint stir of air from their passing brushes your skin as they slip past you and out of the tent into the evening.
You keep your head bent out of respect, avoiding his eye, and your hand is clenching the leather strap of your bag hard as you wait for his next command.
"The city sends nuntia into war now? In the state we are in?" he asks, though you're not entirely sure if you're meant to answer.
He exhales through his nose and drops the small stone marker he had been holding between his fingers. Several more lie scattered across the campaign map spread over the table, marking roads, river crossings, and the positions of men.
"Come." he commands, and you dare not disobey.
You move around the table and stop before him. Slowly you lift your chin, first to his chest, then to his face. You take in the unshaven line of his strong jaw, the aquiline nose carved hard against the last of the sunlight bathing the tent, oil lamps already lit around you. There are cuts on his face, and you count them while you wait for his next order. Some of them are earned over the long, grinding months of war, others fresh enough that the skin around them is angry red.
But you do not look in his eyes.
You see the movement before you feel himâ a shift of his shoulder as you keep your gaze averted, and a quiet breath leaves him as he steps closer. Then the rough pads of his fingers find your face. He catches your chin between his thumb and forefinger and lifts, carefully forcing your gaze up to meet his.
The moment your eyes find his, you feel a thick lump rise in your throat. They are dark as honey left too long in the sun, warm and brown and far gentler than a man like him ought to possess as they look down upon you.
"You should not be here," he whispers.
Your shoulders fall, a deep lungful leaving your chest that you didn't realize you'd been holding. "Domineâ"
âYou should not be here,â he says again, firmer now, the voice of a formidable general growling out his demands, even when the words are meant only for you. His brows draw together as he looks down at you, the line of his jaw tightening. âWe stand on the brink of another attack and I cannotââ
He stops himself, shaking his head once as if the rest of the thought is not meant to be spoken, and drops his hand from your face. Your skin still burns where his fingers had rested, the ghost of his touch seared there even as it disappears.
âI bring word, Domine,â you tell him again, steady despite the painful tightness gathering in your throat. âThat is all.â
"That is all." he echoes in disbelief, a scoff forced from his lips. âIf that is all, why not wait until I return to Roman soil? Why come here, where I am commanded to bring war to people who do not deserve it? Why must you come here, where I am unable to keep you safe?â
"It cannot wait, Domineâ"
âPlease,â he says, cutting you off. His voice softens, though the frustration still sits in it. âDo not call me that, mea cara.â
Your lips press tightly together, the muscles of your face drawing taut, and he turns away from you then, dragging a rough hand across his own face, thick fingers scarred and hardened from long years spent beside Mars himself.
You hesitate.
But at last you reach into your leather satchel, and even you cannot ignore how badly your hand trembles as you retrieve the scroll sealed shut with violent red wax.
âThis order comes from the twin Augusti,â you say at last, though it is more of a croak, and you hold it out to him behind his back.
The general turns only slightly, glancing toward you over the breadth of his shoulder, and it is only then you realize he is still wearing portions of his armor. The plates gleam faintly in the dimming room, light warming the already golden cast of his skin.
"Read it to me."
You lick your dried lips. You're not sure you have such courage.
But in the end, you obey, and break the seal.
The wax cracks beneath your thumb, loud in the quiet of the tent, and you unroll the parchment with careful hands, forcing your voice steady as you begin to read.
âBy command of the divine Augusti, guardians of Rome and fathers of the empire,â you begin, the formal language already turning bitter on your tongue, âlet it be known that Marcus Acacius, General of Rome, who has long served the will of the empire with sword and discipline, is hereby ordered to secure the continuance of his bloodline for the strength and stability of the state.â
The words feel heavier the further you go.
âThe Senate and the Augusti alike have deemed it necessary that the house of Acacius not fall barren. Therefore the general is commanded to take lawful wife before the Kalends of Iunius, and to produce an heir worthy of Rome.â
You swallow.
âThe names of suitable brides of noble Roman houses have been prepared and await the generalâs choosing upon his return to the capital.â
Your finger grow weak, your voice even weaker, shaky now, as the parchment shakes in your hands, and you barely can make out the last words.
âThis decree is issued in the interest of Rome, whose strength rests not only upon conquest, but upon the endurance of those who carry her name forward.â
His head hangs heavy as he stares down at the campaign table before him. He has turned, and both of his hands come to rest upon it as though he must brace himself there, his gaze fixed upon the map spread beneath his palms, the small stones marking the positions of his men staring back at him with indifference.
âThey send me across the empire to spill blood for them,â he mutters finally, the bitterness in his voice low and restrained. âAnd now they would have me breed for them as well.â
He lifts one of the stones between his fingers, turning it slowly before letting it fall back onto the board with a dull clatter.
âAnd they sent you to carry this message to me.â
âI was ordered to.â
âYes,â he replies quietly, his eyes still fixed upon the map. âYou always are.â
You shift your weight as you set down the letter on his table. The leather of your sandals creaks softly against the packed earth as you gather the last of your courage.
"One of the women picked for you is the daughter of Senator Gracchus and sheâŠ" you clear your throat, "I hear she is blessed by Venus in her looks. She would make a good wife."
Somewhere during your speaking he has crossed the space between you.
He stands before you now like a shadow fallen over the room, his broad shoulders and unruly hair cutting the light from the oil lamps until you feel swallowed by his presence.
His hands find your hips as if it had not been weeks since your last meeting, but as easily as though they had never forgotten the place they belong. And though there is a faint, infuriating grin upon his mouth, his touch is warm and welcome through the thin fabric of your tunic, resting against the leather cord at your waist as he draws you nearer by a fraction.
You were used to this: the rough country of his hands, wide and cracked and certain upon your waist. This, you see, was commonplace for the two of you. You would come to deliver his letters to his expansive villaâusually orders of the next country to march upon or plans for a day of leaveâand he would shoo away his servants so he could take you into his hands and bend you over the nearest lectus to fuck you utterly spent. He would feed you Rome's best wine and cheese, take you a time or two more, and send you back on your way with his reply.
But this was nothing like those times. The memories only burn as you think of them now.
âGracchus,â he repeats, the faintest curl of amusement pulling at the corner of his mouth. âThat miserable old slug.â
Your hands come up at once against his chest, pushing lightly at the hard plates of armor.
âDomine, don'tââ
âAnd this daughter of his,â he continues, paying no mind to your protest as his thumbs press idly against your hip bones, âshe is very beautiful, you say?"
âYes,â you answer stiffly, still trying to push him away. âThat is what I hear.â
He studies you with dark eyes moving slowly over your face as though the answer to his riddle rests somewhere upon it.
âI see,â he murmurs, leaning down into you.
Your palms press harder against his armor.
âStop this jest,â you insist, your voice tightening despite your effort to remain composed. âYou must treat the matter with the gravity it demands. They require an answer.â
His smile widens enough to show his teeth.
âWhyâŠâ he asks quietly, his lips moving though his words are scarcely above a whisper, âshould I trouble myself with the spoiled daughter of a SenatorâŠâ
His fingers tighten in your tunic, drawing you even nearer still until there is scarcely any space left between you. His hips press flush against yours, his warmth insistent through the fabric and plated steel keeping you apart.
ââŠwhen I already have the most beautiful woman standing in my tent?â
"Enough of this, do not be so insolent." you finally shove him away, and he lets you go. His hands fall, but his gaze does not.
"I have no need for one of their hand picked maidens, cara, for you are the only woman I desire." His voice is low again, "So take my hand, my name, take everything I am and be my wife."
Your hand flies up to strike him before you have time to think of his proposition. The smack of your palm meeting his face cracks in the stillness of the quiet.
And yet, he is unmoved by this.
His eyes do not widen, his body does not flinch. But you see the infinitesimal clench of his jaw, the line of his brow deepening like a crack in the earth as his smile vanishes.
You move to strike again, but he catches you, his large, meaty palm wrapping around your wrist. He has the grip of a man who has spent half his life with a sword in it, which now swallows the delicate bones of your joint instead of the metal of a handle.
You fight in his grip, but he does not let go. It flits across your mind that he could easily break your bones, if he wished. He would have the right to it, for the way you struck him.
"Unhand me, Domineâ" you seethe.
"Say my name."
You wrench again at his grasp, but his hand holds fast, immovable as iron. The thick knot in your throat burns hotter with every passing second, swelling until it chokes the words before they can leave you.
"Say my name, caraâ"
"Unhand me!" You hiss. "I cannot marry you and you know it well!"
Your resistance only brings you closer, his hand dragging you forward as if inviting you into some sort of silly dance, your breasts now pressed hard against the armor that is gilded across his torso. The metal is warm from the heat of his body beneath it, and he leans down over you then, baring his teeth slightly with each syllable he forces out.
"Cant or won't?"
There is an aching, seething silence that stretches. Your ire burns as hot as coals behind your eyes as they narrow up at him. You hate him, you must. You must tell yourself this again and again, because the truth would be unbearable when the day comes that he is to wed to another.
âHave you lost your damned mind, Domine?â you snap, anger flashing hotter than the tears threatening behind your eyes. âYou dishonor yourself speaking such madnessâraging like a rabid hound.â
His other hand slides to wrap around your waist and down onto your lower back, pressing gently into your tail bone so your hips flush against his, and you can only just feel his growing member beneath the thick cotton tunic he wears.
âMadness?â he repeats, his voice low and dangerous now.
When you refuse to answer, he simply looks at you as though you are the one who has lost sense.
"I am to take a wife of my choosing," he says, each word slow and carefully chosen, "to lay my seed so our Divine Emperors may sleep easily knowing my blood will carry on their vanitiesâ"
His jaw shifts, and he drops your hand to pull a piece of your hair that has fallen from the braid, curling it around his thick finger, ââand yet when I offer my hand to the one woman who knows me better than my own soldiers, the one who has shared my bed and my counselsâŠshe strikes me."
Your face, you realize suddenly, is damp. And he sees it at once.
Something in him softens then, and the look he gives you holds both tenderness and hunger, the two mingling together like honey stirred into warm tea.
He leans closer, brushing his lips once against the corner of your eye where the tear has gathered.
âWhy do you weep, mea cara?â he murmurs, the words warm against your skin before his mouth touches your temple, then the edge of your cheek. âWhy do you fight me so?â
âIââ
Your breath shudders as you try to gather the words that refuse to come.
âMarcus,â you sigh at last, the name slipping from you despite yourself as you close your eyes. âI am no one.â
His mouth stills against your cheek.
âYou are everything," he answers quietly, and you can feel his breath against the shell of your ear.
You shake your head at once, desperate, your hands pressing against his chest again though the strength has gone from them.
âNo,â you insist, the word breaking. âYou are a general of Rome. Marrying me would gain you nothing. It would not strengthen your house, it would not please the Senate, it would not satisfy the Augustiââ
âI do not care for any of that.â
âBut you must,â you whisper, the tears coming faster now despite your effort to stop them. âI will not allow you to throw away your destiny for the sake of someone like me.â
He draws back just enough to look at you, his brow knitting as though the thought itself offends him.
"Someone like you," he repeats softly, licking the pearl of a tear from the top of his lip.
Your voice shakes so badly you hardly believe he can understand you, "I carry orders for Rome, I am nothing but a messenger of the Gods will, they speak through The Twins and so you must take it seriouslyâ"
"My patience is at an end with them."
âYou must not speak so,â you whisper sharply, your glossy eyes darting toward the walls of the tent.
The general takes both of your hands in his then, lifting them beneath his chin like something precious, and presses a kiss to your knuckles.
âI know who you are, my love,â he murmurs. âYou are blessed with Mercuryâs favor. For years you have come to me with the will of Gods and Emperors alike. You bring me their messages⊠and you bring me yourself.â
His thumbs move slowly across the backs of your hands.
âAnd I would have that forever. I would have you forever, mea cara.â
âBut Romeâyour armiesâyou could neverââ
âThen we shall leave it behind,â he says quietly. "I will gladly send my men back to their families where they belong, rather than ripping apart the ones we conquer."
You stare at him.
âYou wish to leave?â
âYes, mea cara,â he answers, his voice low but steady now, the idea clearly not new to him. âLet Rome keep her wars and their decrees. Let the Senate drown in its own blood. We will go where the hand of the Augusti does not reach.â
Your heart stutters painfully.
âMarcusâŠâ
âThere are lands yet untouched by them,â he continues, his gaze never leaving yours. âWe could live quietly. A farm, perhaps. A stretch of earth and sky that belongs to no emperor.â
You shake your head even as the image threatens to take root inside you.
âYou cannot mean that.â
âIt is the only thing I have meant in years.â
âMarcus, if anyone heard you speak soââ
âLet them hear. I tire of the will of those fututores, swaddled in their perfume and silkââ
âMarcus!â you hiss, clapping both hands over his mouth before the words can grow more dangerous.
He only smiles against your palms, the warmth of it startling you, and presses a soft kiss to the heart of your palm, the wiry hair of his mustache tickling you.
âIs that a yes, my love?â he says, muffled.
âYou truly have gone mad.â you whisper, leaning your forehead against the back of your hand where it still rests on his mouth.
And when he it away, you straighten, allowing him to guide both of your hands to his own will, placing them at the back of his neck while his fall once more to your hips, adjusting you until you are perfectly flush against him again, where you belong.
âAn answer is all I desire, filia Mercurii.â
Your breath falters.
âYes, Marcus.â
And suddenly he is kissing you, and it is as if heat sparks across your lips, Jupiter's lightning striking through you and pulling a gasp from your throat in his hold. He tastes of salt and musk and wine. Groaning deeply, the sound rough with want, his hands slide lower to the lush weight of your bum as he draws you closer still. Your back bends against the heavy press of him as he pushes into you, the strength of his body undeniable. There is no question of how fiercely this man wants you, how deeply he needs you, how long he has yearned for you. You can hear it in his moans, can feel it in the weight of his grasp.
He is turning the two of you quickly, the meat of his hands gripping you hard enough that you hope to find the crescent marks of his fingers there later. His tongue pushes past your lips, tasting at your mouth, licking behind your teeth before drawing your top lip between his in a slow, hungry pull. You think, for a moment, that you taste something else there beneath the heat of itâ a loneliness that has left a hollow ache settled into him during these long months away from home. And you kiss him back with equal hunger, your tongue pressing into his mouth like a salve, as though you might soothe that wound with it.
But then, outside the tent you hear the roar of men laughing, voices carrying easily through the warm evening air, and suddenly you remember you are not alone in his villa this time.
âOh, Marcus, not here, please, notââ
âI donât give a damn,â he growls. âI will take you how I want, where I want, for the rest of my life.â
Something in the tone of his voice sends heat racing through your body, a flush blooming low in your belly that makes your breath catch. Your knees buckle at the ferocity of his need, wetness pooling between them for it.
He lifts you onto the table with startling ease, spreading your legs so he can step between them. Leaning over you, he sweeps the table clear in a single impatient motion, scattering the carved stone markers of battle across the tent floor as they clatter and slide into the shadows. He lays you back against the wood, grinning at the sight of you as his hand fists the tunic covering your body.
He pushes it roughly upward, baring you to himself, the fabric bunching under your neck haphazardly.
âThere is nothing like this,â he murmurs, his voice lower now. âNothing like seeing you as the Gods made you.â
His eyes move slowly over your figure, drinking you in.
âYou are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.â
âYou speak such foolishness, Marcus,â you swoon, stretching your arms above your head as you watch him unburden the armor from his chest and let it clatter to the floor before folding himself over you.
âI would sooner have my tongue cut than ever speak a lie of you,â he says softly before his mouth closes over your breast, taking the nipple between his lips as a low groan escapes him at the heat of your skin.
"You are so warm, so softâ" he says between your gasps of pleasureâ" I have not felt such things in so long, it is like a dream."
You take him in as his long, thick lashes flutter shut. Your hands thread delicately through his hair, nails scraping lightly against his scalp. He whimpers at your touch, mouth unlatching from one breast only to nuzzle the other, kissing and licking at your supple skin.
He is the fierce, violent commander of Romeâs legionsâbut that is only sometimes. For most of the moments you have spent with him, in his villa in the city, he is this: gentle, kind, passionate, and utterly confident in his want. As though this is the truest version of himself, the man beneath the armor, without the smoke and mirror of war that paints him as a brutal leader.
His tongue laves at your pert nipple, now pebbled and tender from his attention. His hands, thick and wide, span the narrowest part of your waist, his thumbs nearly touching over your navel he is so much larger than you. He draws you closer, shifting you to the edge of the table so his eager cock slots between the lips of your core.
You let out a soft whine at the barrier of his tunic between you.
âPatience,â he breathes, though it is not without the roughness of restraint. The heat of his mouth ghosts over your skin as he kisses your clavicle, then slowly up the column of your throat and along the line of your jaw. âLet me enjoy this. It has been too long.â
âAnd what if I say take me now and enjoy the smaller pleasures later?â you murmur, your fingers curling into the hair at the back of his head. âI wish to feel you inside me.â
A low sound escapes him at that, half laugh and half groan.
âMy needy woman,â he says against your skin. âIt is like music to my ears. But if I were to give you everything you wished the moment you asked for it, you would be as spoiled as those who grow pale behind palace walls.â
Your brow lifts faintly at that.
âMarcus Acacius,â you whisper, breath brushing his ear, âyou speak as though you are not the one who has ruined me.â
A rough sound escapes him at that.
âThat is because it is you who has ruined me, cara,â he groans, his teeth catching lightly at the line of your jaw before he presses a hard thrust of his hips against your swollen center, drawing an involuntary arch from your back. âIf I were to take you as I wish, this would not last nearly as long as I would like.â
"Don't care," you murmured, your hands fisting into his hair harder now, making him wince and groan at once. His eyes flicker up to yours at that, dark and bright with something dangerously pleased.
"Promise me you'll stay the night, then? Let me eat your sweet cunt for dinner, and again for breakfast and midday."
You smile widely at that, "And you say it is me who is spoiled,"
"Promise it."
"I swear, Marcus." you say, planting a chaste kiss to his lips. "I will stay as long as you wish. Now please, for the love of Jupiter and all the godsâfuck me."
He leans back, and you are forced to drop your hands from his hair as he straightens, though you drag them slowly down his chest, your fingertips brushing the linen of his tunic. The fabric clings where your arousal has stained it, darkened over the tenting of his throbbing cock beneath. He lifts the hem and tucks it beneath his chin, and finally you see him fullyâscars crossing the broad plane of his chest, the softness of his belly, the dark trail of hair that gathers beneath his navel and travels downward to frame his bobbing member, flushed deep red with want.
For a moment he simply looks, breathing deeply. He seems distracted by the sight of you, the way you glisten beneath the lanterlight of the tent. A heat of humilation blooms across your cheeks as his gaze lingers on the slick folds of you spread before him.
And then he is bending suddenly, forgetting himself and diving for you.
His mouth opens, greedy and unrestrained, as he kisses you there. His lips part wide against you, wet and hungry as he eats at you. You hear a rough groan spill from his throat as his hands close around the meat of your thighs, gripping hard to still the undulating roll of your hips.
It is obscene to watch.
Your wet cunt sliding against his wet tongue, the sounds he makes as he tastes you. Your soft sighs and breathless little cries only seem to make him more ravenous, his tongue cupping your sex as though it were a basin meant to hold the nectar gathering there. Up and down, then down and up again, he works at you with relentless hunger before his nose presses against your clit and the slick muscle of his tongue pushes inside you.
And then your back is bending, nearly lifting you from the table as he fucks you with his tongue. The pressure builds too quickly to bear, your body tightening before it breaks, and you gush over his face with a cry, trembling beneath his mouth as he purrs with pleasure.
When the tension finally leaves your limbs and your body goes soft and boneless, he is already moving you again. He handles you easily, turning and shifting you where he wants you, those big hands working with a single vision in mind.
"You will ride me." he demands.
You know that tone of voice. The sweet, sensual man who kissed you moments ago has stepped aside, and something harder has taken his place. The beast of him. The commander who draws blood from his enemies, who takes what he wants without hesitation, who fucks with the certainty of a man used to victory.
You barely have time to catch your breath before he lifts you from the table, one thick arm wrapping around your torso while the other hooks your thigh high around his hip. Your body drags against him as he moves, and you feel the heavy bob of his cock between your soaked folds. The sensation pulls a needy sound from your throat and you grind down instinctively, searching for more of him, pressing harder and harder. You feel his mouth on your neck just as his teeth close on your artery, biting you into submission. You cry out for him, but you only feel his cock twitching in response.
By the time he drops into the lounging chaise behind him, he is guiding you down with him, forcing your hips to widen to settle around the breadth of his lap.
âI want to watch you,â he says, voice thick, his eyes gone black with hunger. âGet this off.â His hands make quick work of your tunic, finally pulling it the rest of the way from your body.
The moment your arms come down again you are reaching for him in return, tugging impatiently at the linen still clinging to his shoulders. You push the fabric from him, eager to feel the heat of his skin beneath your palms. He groans when you lean forward, your arms slipping around his neck as your mouth finds his again. You taste yourself on his tongue, musk of sweat and sweet honey of arousal, and your hips move without thought. They slide against the thick length of him, wetting the shaft of his cock as you grind your clit against him. The heavy weight of his sac tightens in anticipation, brushing against your cunt as roll against him again and again. Your tongue slips deeper into his mouth as you pull at his with greedy little sucks.
He has quite enough of your teasing as his hand catches your face, pushing you upright with a deep growl of impatience. The other guides himself between your legs, angling his cock until the blunt head presses firmly at your entrance.
You both gasp at the first pushâthe stretch always too much at first. Always intoxicating. Like Cupid himself has driven some poisoned arrow through your heart, turning your thoughts to useless haze as your body opens for him.
âThere she is,â Marcus breathes, his lips parted around a rough gasp. âWhat a good girl you are. Thatâs it⊠slow, cara. Nice and slow.â
You slide down onto him inch by inch, your eyes rolling back as a long, helpless moan spills from your throat. His hand comes quickly over your mouthâyou know you are being far too loudâbut how can you help it? He is thick and perfect inside you, your velvet walls drawing him in greedily until you are seated fully atop him, your wet cunt sealed around his cock, slicking the dark thicket of hair at his base.
"OhâDomineâ" you sigh, muffled behind his hand.
âMarcus,â he corrects softly, breath shuddering through him. âMy love. Only Marcus to you.â
âBut you are my everything,â you gasp, nimble fingers coming up to circle his wrist. His hand is so big it spreads over the entirety of the lower half of your face. âMy lord, my master, myâmy husbandââ
âYes,â he groans, his eyes burning into you. âSay it again.â
âDominââ
âNo.â His voice drops to a growl. The hand that covers your mouth slides down to grip your jaw, forcing you to look at him as he jostles you slightly.
âH-husband?â
He thrusts his hips upward sharply, the movement stealing the breath from your lungs.
âSay it again.â
âVir meus,â you moan.
âYesâyes, thatâs it,â he groans, his head falling back against the chaise, mouth agape and his breath short. âThatâs it, girl. Ride my cock. Tell me you are mine.â
Your head falls back as he thrusts higher into you, the motion forcing a broken cry from your throat as you chant it over and over. Vir meus, vir meus, vir meus. You can no longer hold yourself upright as his hand falls, and you brace yourself over him, planting your knees on either side of his hips as you begin to lift and drop over him, suddenly drunk on the poison of Cupid and your own rising pleasure. He does not seem to care about your volume anymore. The sounds leave you unbottled and wild, helpless. Like some creature in heat. His hands grip the flesh of your hips harder once again, guiding the rhythm, forcing your body to ride and fall at his pace.
âShall I give the Augusti what they want?â he pants against your ear, licking the shell of it. âBreed my sweet little wife and fill her with my seed?â
The thought had never crossed your mind before. The two of you had always been careful in your previous meetings, always finishing elsewhereâyour mouth, your breastsâbutâŠnowâŠ
"Promise we will never go back to Rome again," you beg against his throat between moans, rocking your hips slower now. "Promise me we will have a home by the ocean, where we will watch the sun rise and set with no cares of the twins, only usâonly our familyâand I will bear your children, as many as you wish."
âI promise, mea cara,â he groans, his hands tightening on you. âOhâfuckâto see you round with my child, IâmâIâm going toââ
âGive me your seed,â you breathe. âVir meus.â
You feel his body seize beneath you, struck through with the crash of pleasure. His mouth falls open on a broken breath as you tighten around him, both of you gasping against one another while your body clenches down, drawing him deeper still. The feeling of his spend filling you in thick warmth pulls a cry from your throat, the sensation cresting through you like a breaking wave until you are both trembling breathlessly together.
You sag over him, sweaty chest against sweaty chest, and hands stay on you, but they change, sliding from the rough hold of your hips to settle at the small of your back, keeping you against him as the two of you come down slowly from the height of your orgasms. You feel his chest lift hard beneath yours as he drags in deep lungfuls, your breath matching in tandem, hearts beating together until they settle.
You and Marcus leave that night.
He gives his orders quietly to the only two men he trusts to carry them. The legion will return home. No more men will die at his command. Word will travel back to Rome, where senators continue their shouting and scheming without the spilling the blood of any more soldiers.
But by the time those messages arrive, you are already gone.
â IGNITE
DIN DJARIN x F!READER
Summary: When a hunt goes wrong and you're drugged with an aphrodisiac, Din goes to extreme lengths to keep you safe before giving you what you need. [5K]
Warnings: 18+. Dub con due to the nature of sex pollen but both people do consent. Drink spiking. Mild gore. Murder. Semi-public sex. Fingering. Piv. Multiple orgasms. Porn with feelings.
This isnât how he had pictured it.
All the times he lay alone in his cot and envisioned how soft you would be beneath him, the warmth of your skin flushed with pleasure as he stretched you open on his fingersâas his mouth determinedly worked you towards delirium, ready for the slow slide of his cock sinking to the hilt.
He thought it would be sweet. That despite everything he was, all of his sharp edges and brute strength, he could make the memory of the first time he took you one that was untouched by pain and violence and all the other harsh things that came with being hunters.
But then this job had landed in their laps and they had been too damn quick following the first lead to the mark they got instead of doing some real digging on the guy like you usually insisted.
I donât like surprises, you would usually tell him but this time exhaustion held your caution behind your teeth. The result of running on the fumes from too many hunts and barely any time to take breaks until all of that ragged bone-deep weariness had begun to creep in, leaving you itching to get this job out of the way so you could finally rest.
And of course, in the end, it bit you in the ass.
You had entered the club with only the knowledge that your mark frequented the place and it had all gone to shit almost ridiculously fast.
The drink that had been brought to your table, the server announcing cheerfully that first ones of the night are always on the house, had been laced. The effects taking hold of you the moment the last drop passed your lips.
And Din had watched, confused, as your eyes had become glazed. Lids heavy and gaze transfixed on the writhing bodies that crowded the glittering dancefloor.
He had asked you a question, 'any sign of the bounty?', and it was like you couldnât hear him, like he was calling to you through water when he raised his voice to say your name.
Instead, youâd remained rooted in place at the edge of your seatâ white-knuckling the smooth leather until he hesitantly placed his hand on your knee and then you had jerked. Snapping out of a trance like heâd burned you, a gasp caught in your throat and your chest heaving whilst you blinked at him.
âWhatâwhat is it?â You had demanded breathlessly and if he hadnât been suspicious that something wasnât right before, he certainly was then. There was a tremor to your voice he had never heard before and where his gloved hand still remained curved around your knee, heat seared through the worn leather and scorched his palm.
"Are you okay?" He'd asked, his gaze raking over you in a way he'd previously refused to allow himself.
You were wrapped in a silky little dress the colour of the midnight sky. The neckline dipping to reveal the swell of your breasts and the hemline short enough that the bare skin of your legs had seemed endless when you'd first sauntered towards him as he'd waited for you outside the crest.
Din hadn't been able to look at you for more than a few seconds at a time because he knew if he took any longer he wouldn't be able to think clearly.
He wouldn't have been able to concentrate on the job with the image of those legs wrapped around his waist blaring through his skullâthat lipstick-stained mouth parted around a moan of his name as he imagined rutting into you.
But he let himself stare thenâ shoving down those thoughts so he could assess the situation properly. His heart dropping to his stomach as he took in the sweat that beaded at your hairline, the weak tremble of you hand as you lifted it to your forehead in an attempt to swipe the moisture away.
You glanced at him nervously as you did so, chewing your lip. âI donât feel right, Mando.â You murmured. âEverything feels too tight, like Iâm about to burst.â
He had scooted closer then, slid right along the plush seat of the booth to fit himself to your side as his thumb rubbed small circles over the flesh of your knee.
It was supposed to be a comfort, an unspoken gesture that he was thereâthat you were safe.
But instead you had groaned like heâd shoved his hand through your chest and gripped something vital, the sound of it nearly making him choke on his damn tongue as he thanked the maker that his helmet hid the way heâd had to sink his teeth into his lip to bite back a moan.
âDonât stop please.â You begged, pressing your own hands over his when he went to remove it. âIt hurts when youâre not touching me.â
His eyes had narrowed at that.
It sounded familiarâ wisps of old tales floating around in his head before he remembered one about a poison that made you crave others, that made your blood boil beneath your skin until you found someone to offer the pleasure necessary to sate the all-encompassing need.
But how?
You hadnât been out of his sight all day. You hadnât ingested anything the two of you hadnât personally made, exceptâŠ
His gaze snapped to the glass you had recently drained, remnants of the shimmering liquid still clinging to the edges and he can smell it as he takes it in his hand to inspect it closer. That sickly-sweet smell, the strong blend of fruit and something synthetically syrupy.
He could suddenly feel eyes on him and when he looked up the server that gave you the drink is staring at him with wide, terrified eyesâ face paling as Dinâs suspicion brewed to a blinding fury that gathered around his head like a storm.
It had been intentional then. No doubt the bounty had caught wind that they were on his take and had taken measures to slow them down.
He would kill them for itâboth of them. Would rip them apart and leave the mark of his violence behind in the mess of their insides as a warning should anyone else even think of coming for them in the future.
No one touched her and lived.
His vision had seeped red. His blood spitting in his veins before it surged with panic as your hand flew to your stomach and your expression crumpled into something agonised.
âFuck.â He hissed when you hunched over beside him with a sharp cry of pain. âI need to get you out of here, now.â
âWhat about the bounty?â You panted, looking up at him through the fringe of your lashes that were wet with unshed tears.
You had looked so small in that momentâ a far cry from the ruthless hunter people would whisper about after you had swept through their town. It made his chest ache, briefly drowning out that insatiable temper of his as he gathered you to his chest and raised a hand to cup your cheek.
âWhatâs happening to me, Mando?â
âYour drink was laced with an aphrodisiac, he probably knew we were following him.â He said as gently as he could, thumb stroking the swell of your flushed cheek as alarm rippled across your features. âI donât think itâs lethal but I need to get you back to the ship before the effects get any worse. Can you stand?â
Instead of an answer you fucking whimpered. The needy sound of it shooting heat straight through his gut as your eyes grew dark beneath the flutter of your lashes and your fingers curled tight into his cowl.
Was it his touch or his voice that had prompted such a reaction?
Whichever it was you suddenly looked like you wanted to devour him and Din had to swallow down the fierce sweep of desire that urged him to let you.
To drag you onto his lap and lay himself at your mercy, the words 'use me, take what you need, whatever you want itâs yours' clawing savagely up his throat whilst he grit his teeth and wrenched his face away from yours to scan their surroundings.
They would have to exit through the back. The club was too crowded, with too many bodies between them and the main entrance, all packed tight, and when Din had stood to get a better look, another sight had stopped him dead.
Guards at the door.
Oneâs that definitely hadnât been there when you both entered and heâs almost certain are slyly watching every move he makes as he quickly tugged you to your feet and bundled you into his side.
He wanted desperately to believe it was paranoia.
That it was in no way related to the poison working its way through your systemn, that the two of you were going to get outside and be able to make your way to the ship without an issue.
Heâd never wanted to believe something so much in his life.
**
It was a trap.
Deep down, Din had known it as theyâd stumbled into the quiet of dark corridorsâ the lingering thump of the music pulsing beneath his boots.
Heâd known it when your legs had buckled and heâd scooped you up in his arms, cradling you to his chest like a newborn babe before heâd broke out into a run and nearly kicked the door of its hinges as theyâd reached it.
But he hadnât truly allowed himself to acknowledge it until heâd come face to face with the steel fence chained shut and the sound of a dozen footsteps descending upon them.
When he'd heard the door shut, the decisive click of the lock, and his rage had soared. You were sick and though he was sure it wasnât lethal he couldnât shake the feeling like he was running out of time to get you help.
And they were stood in his way.
So he lowered you carefully to the ground, his lungs tightening when a weak groan rattled from your throat as you sank back against the fence and hugged your knees to your chest.
âDid you really think you could take me down in my own club, Mandalorian?â
He needed to swallow down all that burning anger and think, needed to focus on the best way he could take them all out without letting a single one near you.
But then the bounty had made the mistake of looking past the vengeful mass of him to where you were curled up on the ground and any thoughts of a quick and calculated fight were snatched right out of his head.
âPretty partner youâve got there.â Heâd leered, dragging his tongue over his lip. âShe must be dying for someone to fuck her right about now. Maybe after I've killed you, I'll keep her as my whore and fuck that pretty pussy right next to your corpse.â
A terrifying sound had followedâsomething dark and ragged, drenched in a murderous brand of fury, and then Dinâs vision swam black.
Just as the saber ignited in his hand.
**
When he came to, he was panting.
And in the aftermath, there was a mass of bodies, slack mouths and bulging, glassy eyes caught in the horror of their final moments. The air stained with the stench of singed flesh and the metallic tang of blood.
He stared at the carnage he created in a daze until you croaked his name and his gaze shot to where you're sat, wide eyed and trembling, staring at him in disbelief.
Or maybe it was fear.
He had totally lost his head after all, had been absolutely unhinged in the way he took them apart, piece by pieceâ limb by limb.
Maybe you wouldnât be able to look at him the same now that heâd discovered what he was truly capable of when it came to you, the darkness that lay in wait ready to gorge itself on violence and spilled blood.
He approached you slowly with hands splayed wide in front of him, hesitation etched in every rigid line of him, as if one wrong move would send you scurrying away. But then, to his utter surprise, your lips quirkedâvoice cracking with a rasping chuckle.
âIâm not scared of you, Din.â
When he knelt before you, you reached for him easily. Lacing your fingers through his and pressing his gloved hand to the dewy skin of your cheek. âI was scared for you. I've never felt so fucking useless but then youâ you did that and Iâfuckââ
His voice went low before he could stop it, thick honey over gravel, a wicked flare of heat licking through his belly as your eyes suddenly burned dark. The black of your pupils drowning out their colour. âYou what? Tell me.â
There was a second where you simply stared at him, lip drawn between your teeth and the admission weighing on your tongue as the space between you began to crackle and spark.
But then you took a long, shuddering breath andâ
âI couldnât take my eyes off you.â You whispered. âSeeing the way you ripped them apart for me, I liked it.â
Fuck.
He clenched his jaw, his free hand, his entire goddamn body. Everything he could to remain from lunging at you and burying himself inside you right there. It had to be the drug talkingâ it had to be.
At least that's what he was painstakingly trying to convince himself.
Because there were still remnants of that hungered energy within him, desperate for somewhere to go, and there you were telling him you had liked it, that you enjoyed him killing for you, when he was trying his best to be fucking honourable.
He tried to say your name, tried to curl his tongue around the letters in a way that wasnât dripping want, but then youâd gasped and your heated expression dissolved into something frighteningly pained, tears springing into your eyes as you folded in on yourself.
His arms were around you in a second, his tone bleeding panic as he frantically scooped you up âWe need to get you to the ship now.â
âItâs too late.â You sobbed as your body convulsed, arching and bending until he had no choice but to set you on your feet. His body pinning yours to the fence and his hands clamped around the curves of your hips to hold you up. âIt hurts so muchâ please, Dinâ"
"We can make it. Let me carry youâI'll run and we'll get you the help you need. Some medicine or something."
"No, I can't wait that long." You whimpered. "I can'tâI need youâI need you to touch me."
There was something close to defeat in the way he held himself as your hands came to cup the cheeks of his helmet, the gentle touch pleading. He didn't want it to have to be this way but stars, he didn't think he could handle you being in pain much longer either.
He should have protected you better, moved faster, fought harder.
He should have got you back to the ship the moment he realised something wasn't right, and then maybe you wouldn't have had to beg a man you had no interest in to violate you.
âThis isnât what you want, sweet girl.â He sighed, guilt bitter in his chest. âTrust me, as soon as the effects fade you'll regret what you are asking of me.â
You frowned then, sweat-damp brow wrinkling in a way that made Din ache to smooth out with his thumb as you peered up at his visor. âYou think this is just the drug?â You murmured. âThat I donât know my own mind? Stars, Din, Iâve wanted you to fuck me from the moment I saw you.â
His hands spasmed at that, clamping tight as a startled groan slipped from throat before he could choke it back. Were you trying to kill him? Did tou not have any idea how close his restraint felt to snapping from that confession alone.
âFuckâyou canât just say something like that.â
But you were too far gone, pushing up against his armour and curling a hand around the nape of his neck to wrench him down so you can whisper in his ear.
âI think about it all the time, think about how good youâd feel.â Your fingers brushed over the fabric covering his swelling cock and he jolted. âWondering how youâd fuck me, if youâd make me come on your cock over and over until I was ruined mess.â
Shit.
His brain had turned to liquid, he was sure of it.
He caught your wandering hand, grunting as you palmed at him before he could drag it away and pin it to the fence at the side of your head. Your breath hitched softly as his other hand drifted down, ghosting past the edge of your dress, the scrape of worn leather on your bare thighs making your hips jump against his hand.
He could fucking smell your arousal and it was driving him insaneâhis mouth watering as he parted your thighs with one of his own.
âPretty little thing, is that what you want?â Din asked, voice hoarse. âYou want me to ruin you?â
His fingers dared to slip further, dipping past the soaked material of your underwear and when he slid a knuckle through your folds, you gasped.
âYes.â
**
It was all too overwhelming the moment he broke.
The second your simple yes cracked him open and his breath hitched before he was burying you further into the fence. His fingers grazing the peak of your clit whilst obscene noises burst from your throat, wild and desperate.
If felt so fucking good that you were almost blind with it. All that heat and need swirling to a central point in your belly that could explode at any moment, burning brighter with every rough stroke of Din's fingers and the low rasp of his voice in your ear.
"That's it, meshâlaâ let me help you."
You didn't know any words after thatâ none other than his name at least and the gasping chant of don't stop don't stop don't stop.
When he snatched his hands away you thought you would actually cry, a devastated wail brewed from the depths of your lungs before he hushed you gently. The cold kiss of his beskar soothing against your sweat-slick face as he nuzzled you before a different sensation against your thighs startled you.
Skin. Calloused and warm and completely bare.
In the midst of your babbled pleading you had missed him tearing the gloves from his hands and if you had thought the contact had been electric before then this was something else entirely.
His skin against yours felt cataclysmic. The moan you made when he hitched your leg over his hip and sunk those thick fingers deep inside you, unhinged.
"I want to be able to feel you when you come for me." He told you lowly, purred it in your ear, and you choked as he pressed his thumb to your clit in the most maddeningly perfect circles until you spasmed. Soaking his hand as the tension in your lower stomach snapped violently.
You were lost then.
Boneless against him whilst he curved himself over you and continued stroking your pulsing walls so all of that swirling pleasure became flame again, burning hot and wild enough that it made you let loose a desperate sob. Burying your nails in his neck, the other hand fisted around his cloak as another climax slammed through the dying breaths of the first.
âOh maker, Din.â You cried out, hips jerking into his hand, thighs trembling whilst he eased you through it. His touch gentler this time, sweet, like he could sense anything harsher would fray you apart at the seams.
There was the cool press of his helmet touching your temple, a calming gesture that clashed with the rapid rise and fall of both of your chests. âThat's it,â he murmured, pride equal parts soft and heated on his tongue, âgood girl.â
You could hear when he removed his fingers from inside you. The liquid slip that would have made your cheeks flame under normal circumstances but only made you burn for completely different reasons then.
Your own fingers darting out to circle his wrist before leading the slick digits to the tempting plush of your mouth.
He made a low, feral noiseâthe sound of your name rumbling from deep within his chest as you let the tips of his fingers rest against your lips. Waiting for him to take the next step which he did without hesitation, pressing down until your mouth parted for him and he slid his fingers into soft, wet heat.
You were still aching, still throbbing like a raw, open wound, but it was slightly more bearable now. The orgasms that Din drew from you taking the edge off just enough for you to have this indulgence. A hint of worship.
The slow lave of your tongue against his skin as he shivered. Hips rocking into the cradle of your pelvis, making you whine around his fingers when his clothed cock caught you just right.
He dragged his fingers from your mouth with a hissed curse, rubbing the spit-shine of your lip in a daze whilst the hand on your thigh flexed and tightened its grip.
âWe shouldnât, not here.â Din muttered, swearing under his breath when you deliberately rolled your hips. âYou deserve better than this and it isn't safe.â
But you heard what he left unspoken.
We shouldnât but I will if you want it. If you don't tell me to stop, Iâll fuck you right hereâ surrounded by the bodies I killed for you and regardless of who might come looking.
You would die before you asked him to stop.
Even if you werenât beginning to tremble again, your heartbeat picking up to a gallop and cunt fluttering around nothing as each nudge of his cock against your sex swept a blistering need through your veins.
Even if the reminder of the lengths he was willing to go to keep you safe didnât make you maddeningly desperate for him.
âI donât care.â You breathed as your stomach clenched. âPlease donât make me wait that long, I need you inside me.â
He inhaled sharply then, his broad chest heaving whilst he cupped your chin and peered down at you. A split-second hesitation before he gave in yet again.
âYouâre going to be the death of me begging like that,â He groaned and then his large hands were skimming over your belly. Stroking down until he reached your underwear and tore it from your body with a brutal yank before wrenching you against him as the remains fluttered to the ground.
You made a soft noise of surprise and he chuckled, rough and deep and utterly addictive. The sound of it making heat swell beneath your skin and between your thighs, your head going dizzy.
The desire you had for him was an unhinged thing. Even without the drug you knew that you would still feel like this, like he could unravel you completely with the simplest touch or glance. Your hands shaking as you fumbled with his belt whilst he watched intently.
He let you stroke him, once then twice. His length hot in your palm, throbbing beneath your fingers when the pad of your thumb dragged over the weeping head.
It stole a rough moan from somewhere deep in his chest and then he was on you. Hands wrapping around your thighs to lift you against the fence, thin metal biting into your back but any hint of pain drifts from your mind like smoke as his tip caught at your entrance.
He took it slow at first. Let you feel every inch of him stretching you open as he bit back a wrecked noise, your cunt gripping him like a hot, slick fist, until he sunk to the hilt and your eyes rolled back.
Oh. Oh fuck.
It was a lot.
It was so much that it felt like heâd reached something devastating. That when he drew his hips back to drive into you again, you screamedâ back arching violently as your vision turned white.
You nearly bit through your tongue whilst he continued to move. Each bruising snap of his hips punching you further up the fence, fucking you into it, the shrill sound of metal ringing through the night air as it shook beneath Din's strength.
You had practically begged him to ruin you and he was without even trying.
You would feel him for days after this.
Maybe weeks.
You would feel him in the marks his nails would no doubt leave on your thighs from his unrelenting grip, the hard edges of his armour that were embedded in your softness as you wound yourself around him. The way he was carving you open with each frantic thrust, creating a space inside you that only he could ever fill.
The tendrils of pain that had began creeping through your system from the drug snapped to pleasure immediately. You could feel it coiling unbearably tight, growing molten, white hot sparks making your blood catch and your stomach twist in knots.
âFuck.â You sobbed. Nails scraping down his back, desperately trying to find some kind of purchase as your head falls to his shoulder. âDin, I thinkââ
âI know, baby.â He grit, shifting slightly until the harsh spear of his cock suddenly hit something catastrophic over and over and over. Your breasts bouncing with every thrust and his body shuddering as your cunt tightened around him. âCome for me, thatâs it. Shitâlet me feel it.â
You fell apart with a ragged cry. Bursting hot and wet around him as his pace slowed to a hint of something less punishing so he could stare, dazed, at the place where youâre joined. His skin and his armour that was dripping with your release.
For a moment there was only the strained sound of his breathing through the vocoder and then he groaned. Low and filthy.
"You're so fucking perfect." He praised hoarsely, the rough scrape of his voice making you even more boneless as you trembled in his arms. "Maker. I want to taste you. After I'm done fucking you I'm going to carry you back to the ship and taste every inch of you, clean you up with my mouth, and then I'm going to fuck you again."
That scorched you. It made something in your belly stir again despite how sated you had felt only seconds ago, made you clench helplessly around him and Din choked at the feel of it. âWould you like that?â He asked, breathless. âThink you can give me another?â
His cock pulsed inside you and you found yourself wholly incapable of response, beyond words and thoughts and anything that wasn't trembling moans as his pace turned brutal. The wet squelch of your cunt taking him deep, almost embarrassingly loud in your ears.
He bore down on that place inside you that made stars burst behind your eyes with a savage focus and all too soon there was lightning snapping in your blood. The sensation of it flaring hot and sharp, gathering into something furious and terrifying as his name bubbled up past your lips in a weak chant.
âI canâtâfuckâDin, I needââ
He slid his helmet along your cheek, tipped his head down until his forehead rested on yours. The skin of his neck felt just as flushed as your own when you gripped it to hold him there against you. The dark curls that escaped his helmet tickling your fingers.
âTouch yourself, meshâla. Come for me again and Iâll give you anything you want.â
You shakily dropped your hand between you, spreading your fingers around the place where his cock was punching up into you before your fingers slid up to brush over the crest of your sex.
Stars, you were soaked.
All swollen and slippery and the moment you circle your clit you snapped. Bursts of energy crashing through your body so violently that your head spun with it, your lungs squeezing achingly tight, and your nails sinking in his neck as you cried out.
It made Din go rigidâa wild noise tearing through his throat as you yanked him brutally into his own release. His vision faltering and hips stuttering before they fused against your own whilst he spilled deep inside you.
**
You were exhaustedâ beyond spent and over-stimulated as the burn of the drug died down enough that you could feel the ache of every muscle creeping in and the kind of sleepiness that would see you comatose for days.
Your eyes were in fact already beginning drooping when Din carefully set you back on your feet. His hands warm and clasped gently around your arms, holding you up so he could peer at you whilst you were trying your hardest to sway back into the comfort of his broad chest.
âAre you okay?â He murmured, concerned. âI didnât go too hard did I?â
You blinked up at him stunned, silent for a beat as you recognised the flicker of nervousness in the way he spoke, the way he held himself.
You cradled his face then, or where the helmet sat above his cheeks, and pulled his forehead down to yours. âNo, it was perfect.â You reassured him and he let out a soft breath before melting against you ever so slightly.
âThere is a slight problem though.â You laughed quietly, thumbs absentmindedly stroking over smooth beskar as Din tilted his head.â Weâre locked out here and thereâs no way I can climb that fence. I can barely feel my legs.â
He chuckled thenâthe sound of it brushed smug as his fingers stroked down your arms. âLeave it to me, sweet girl.â
He rest you gently back against the fence and your eyes slipped closed almost immediately before popping back open when you heard a loud thrum followed by the short screech of tearing metal. Chains hitting the ground with a clinking thud.
Your breath stuttered as you watched him stalk back towards you, saber in his hand, gleaming beneath the haunting light of it.
It made him look even more powerful than he already was. And the memory of what he did for you with that weapon, the evidence of it still strewn across the dirt, slammed to the forefront of your mind and made your mouth run dry. A weak flutter stirring in your belly despite your exhaustion, that he in no way helped by pulling you into him and swinging you up in his arms.
You made a soft noise of surprise and it only encouraged him to hold you tighter. Sealing every inch of you against him that he could as he carried you back to the shipâ his voice brimming with promise as he murmured,
âYouâre safe, cyarâika. Iâm going to take care of you.â
Through The Wall - Part Five
Pairing: Din x Reader
Chapter summary: The ramifications of Din removing his helmet hit harder than you expect.
Warnings: 18+only. Smut with feelings. This chapter gets a little bit darker.
A/N: Hoping Iâve kept this on the right side of consent. Thanks for all the kind comments! đ„°
Part One/Part Two/Part Three/Part Four
Din Masterlist
Read on A03
â°â°â°â°â°â°â°â°đâ°â°â°â°â°â°â°â°
The thing about giving him something he canât have again, you understand later, is that youâve not thought about what itâll cost him to give it back.
Youâve thought about a great many things, in the long warm afterglow of that night. Youâve thought about the shape of his face under your fingertips, the unfiltered laugh, low and surprised, and the warm, hoarse, human voice underneath the modulation, and the soft warm patient slide of him with nothing in the way. Youâve carried all of it, in the days after, like a small bright stone in a pocket, taking it out in the quiet moments and turning it over in your hands.
Youâve not thought about him taking it out in the quiet moments and turning it over in his.
You should have. You should have known. Heâs a man who takes things out and turns them over in his hands â thatâs the whole architecture of him, thatâs how heâs built every interior room of himself. Youâve given him a thing to turn over, and heâs begun to wear it smooth.
The first week is very good.
Heâs quieter in a way thatâs not withdrawn but settled, the way a man whoâs been given something that has rearranged his small interior furniture and is taking the time to learn the new layout is quiet He sits closer to you in the cockpit. He touches you more in small, absent ways and calls you cyar'ika more often. He says it through the modulator, and you hear, every time, the human voice underneath, because youâve been given it once and youâll never not hear it underneath now.
The second week is where it begins.
It begins so small you almost donât notice and you only do because youâve now spent a year learning to notice small things about him.
Youâre in the bunk with the lights out. He comes down from the cockpit and strips his armour, piece by piece, laying it aside in the careful ritual heâs built around the night cycle. He climbs in behind you in his undershirt and his trousers with the helmet still on, pulls you back against his chest and splays his hand across your stomach, his thumb beginning the small, slow, absent, familiar circle of your skin.
And then his hand stops a second too long.
You feel him hold his breath and feel the helmet press, very lightly, to the top of your head. Then you feel the small involuntary tightening of his fingers against your stomach, as if heâs been about to do something and stopped himself.
Then the thumb resumes, the breath is let out and the helmet stays. You donât say anything. You just close your eyes, let him hold you and tell yourself itâs nothing.
It happens again, three nights later. He bends to press the brow of the visor to your forehead, and you feel him pause, the cool beskar a hair's breadth from your skin, and you feel the small held breath of him through the modulator. Then the visor presses down and he pulls back.
You look up at him in the half-dark.
"Din, are you alright?â
"Yes."
Heâs not alright, but you donât push, instinct telling you that heâs not ready to look at whatever it is yet.
You let it lie and it gets worse.
He starts to take longer to settle in the bunk. He starts to lie behind you with his hand on your stomach and not move at all, to hold so still itâs like heâs teaching himself not to. When he takes you in the dark, he starts to keep one hand always braced against the bulkhead beside your head, as if he needs the anchor of something cold and unyielding to remind him of where the discipline is supposed to live.
He starts to fuck you, in those nights, with a small, new, desperate edge underneath the old patience. Not rough, justâŠwanting. You feel it every time in the small involuntary catch in his breath when he buries himself in you, the small held-back sound he makes through the modulator when he comes, the way his hand tightens on your hip and then deliberately eases, the way you can feel him pulling against some invisible leash.
You know what the leash is and yet you donât say, because you also know that the thing heâs leashed against is a thing he canât be allowed off the leash for again. Maybe not ever. The Creed has given him one negotiated night because you built him an argument he could climb through, and the same argument doesnât climb twice. You both understand that and asking him for it again will be asking him to break the thing the night only carefully bent.
So, you let him stay leashed. You hold him afterwards, tell him you love him and feel, every time, the small flinch of him hearing it whilst you pretend, every time, you donât.
But it doesnât work.
The third week is when you have to start admitting itâs not working.
This is when he starts to pace again. Not the wide easy pacing of a man with nervous energy to spend, but the small, contained pacing of a man whoâs holding something down with his hands and canât quite manage to hold it down with the rest of him. He paces the cockpit between jumps, he paces the hold at night, he strips his rifle and reassembles it twice in one evening, which is something he hasnât done since the first month of you living on the Crest, when you were still learning to read him and he was still learning to be read.
You try twice to talk to him. The first time is in the cockpit, where you lay your hand on his bare forearm and stroke the skin there gently.
"Din?"
"Mm."
"Talk to me."
He doesnât turn his head.
"There's nothing to talk about, cyar'ika."
"There is."
"There's not."
"DinâŠ"
"There is nothing."
His voice through the modulator is very level and so you take your hand off his forearm and nod as though heâs given you an acceptable answer.
"All right," you say softly.
The second time is in the bunk. He takes you from on top this time, the way he sometimes does when he wants to watch you â your hands braced on his shoulders, your weight in his lap, his hands at your hips guiding the rhythm. He finishes with the small held-back sound through the modulator and then lifts you off him with the careful competence he always brings to it, laying you down beside him, and beginning the slow absent stroking of your stomach with his thumb that means heâs settling toward sleep.
You lay your hand over his. "Din."
The thumb stops.
"I miss it too," you say, very quietly. "I do. But I have it in my head, and itâs enough. Itâs more than enough. We don't have to chase it. We don't have toâŠto keep looking back over our shoulders at it. Itâll still be there in a year, or five, or twenty. We donât have to chase it."
The thumb doesnât resume and he remains silent for a long time before responding.
"Iâm not chasing it."
"DinâŠ"
"I'm not, cyar'ika. It was a gift. I know what it was. I'm notâŠ" the vocoder cuts on a small uneven breath, âI'm not the kind of man who chases gifts."
"I didn't say you were."
"Then don't worry about it."
âI onlyâŠ"
"Sleep, cyar'ika, please."
You sleep or at least pretend to. Behind you, in the dark, his hand stays splayed across your stomach without moving, and you understand, lying there with your eyes closed, that youâve pushed and heâs pushed back, and thatâs the end of the conversation for tonight, and possibly for longer.
The third week ends and the fourth week is Helvista.
Itâs a long bounty, seven days of hard tracking on a swamp moon, a quarry who moves at night and sleeps in trees, a stretch of work that leaves you both filthy, underfed and tired down to the small bones of your wrists. You eat ration bars on the bounty's last night without speaking, haul the carbonite slab into the hold at dawn and shower, one at a time, the way you always do.
You come out into the warm dim of the night cycle with your hair damp and your skin warm and find him sitting on the bench by the carbonite chamber with the helmet on and nothing else and a look about him that youâve not seen in a month.
His visor turns and he watches you cross the hold.
You donât stop in front of him, moving past him to the bunk, because you understand, from the small set of his shoulders and the careful angle of his helmet, what he wants, and that the bench is not where heâs going to take it.
He follows, his hand coming around your waist from behind and pulling you back against the warm heat of him, the visor pressing to the side of your throat with the small hungry edge of a man whoâs been holding something down for a long time and is, tonight, going to let himself stop.
"Cyar'ika."
"I'm here."
He turns you, pressing your back to the bulkhead, then he kisses you through the helmet as his hands go under the loose sleep shirt youâve pulled on after the shower, finds your breasts and palms them.
You should have stopped him then, but you donât.
You want him too. Youâve wanted him for a week of swamp moon and longer than that of small held-back hands on your hip and a leash neither of you is talking about. You want him and so you turn your face up to the visor, let him push the shirt up over your head, and guide you into the bunk.
He bends you forward over the edge and thatâs the first place it goes wrong, only you donât realise it at the time.
Heâs taken you from behind before many times. Thereâs nothing wrong, in itself, with him bending you forward over the edge of the bunk, pulling your hips back against him and pressing the visor to the back of your neck while his hands run the small inventory down your sides.
But you understand, with a small far slow part of your mind, that heâs chosen this position because he canât see your face from it and that heâs choosing it because tonight, he doesnât want to have to remember whose face it is.
You set the thought aside, because you want him.
He presses against you, hard, the blunt heat of him sliding through the wet of you, and the small, low sound he makes through the modulator is rougher than the small, low sound he made through the modulator a week ago. He sheathes himself in you in one long stroke, you cry out against the mattress, and he presses the visor to the base of your skull, beginning, with very little patience at all, to fuck you.
Itâs not the rhythm of any night in the bunk before.
Itâs hard, harder than heâs been before. This is a man whoâs been holding something down for four weeks and whoâs decided, somewhere on the swamp moon or in the shower or on the bench, that heâs going to stop holding it down for the next ten minutes, and that the way heâs going to stop holding it down is through you.
His hands grip your hips tighter than usual. You felt the small involuntary pulse of pressure where his thumbs dig into the soft place above your hipbones, where you register, dimly, that there will be bruises tomorrow. He pulls you back against him on every stroke, using you as the anchor heâs been bracing against the bulkhead for. The small, hoarse sounds through the modulator are not the warm, low, pleased ones you know. Theyâre rougher, the sounds of a man working at something. The sounds of a man trying.
"Din."
"Mm."
"Din, slowâŠ"
He doesnât slow. The visor presses harder to the base of your skull. The hand on your right hip slides up your back, fists in your hair, and tips your head back. Not gently, not the careful tipping heâs used before, but a harder tipping. A tipping that pulls, that hurts a small clean line down your scalp, and you make a sound thatâs not entirely pleasure.
He doesnât seem to hear you.
He keeps going, the pace never breaking. The pressure of his hand in your hair doesnât ease and the other hand on your hip pulls you back harder. The visor presses to the side of your neck and the modulator catches a small, rough sound thatâs almost a growl. You feel him driving toward something, chasing something, and the small, far, slow part of your mind finally understands.
Heâs chasing the feeling of having no helmet between him and you.
He canât have it. The helmet is on, the Creed is on, the leash is on, he canât get it off, and heâs trying, in the only way left to him, to fuck through it.
You know you canât let him â canât let him chase a thing through you that youâre not going to be the chase for.
"Din."
He doesnât slow.
"Din."
The visor presses harder, the hand in your hair tightening.
"Stop."
The word comes out small. You donât even know, at first, that youâve said it. You havenât said stop to him before. There have been times when youâve asked him to slow, to wait, to give you a moment, but youâve never, not since this all started, said the word stop.
He doesnât hear you and you say it again, louder.
"Stop, Din. Stop."
He stops so completely itâs as if a thing has been switched off inside him. The hand in your hair releases. The hand at your hip releases. The visor lifts from the back of your neck and the rhythm breaks. He holds inside you a long, shocked moment, breathing through the modulator, and you feel the long uneven shake of him.
Then he pulls out, fast, and steps back. You hear him stumble with the small, uncharacteristic ungainliness of a man whose body is no longer obeying him. You straighten up off the edge of the bunk, slowly, and turn to look at him.
Heâs standing in the half-dark of the bunk alcove. The visorâs angled at you, but only barely, the rest of him angled away, shoulders set, hands at his sides, the breath through the modulator coming in small, uneven bursts. He looks, you think, the way a man looks whoâs just watched himself do something he doesnât believe heâs capable of and is, in the space afterward, deciding what kind of man heâs going to be on the other side of having seen it.
"Cyar'ikaâŠ"
"Din, itâs alright."
"IâŠâ
"Come here, it's alright. I'm all right.â
You reach for him, but he flinches back, a half-step, no more, and you feel it in your own chest like a blow.
"Cyar'ikaâŠ"
"Din, stay, please."
But he doesnât stay.
He turns and goes across the hold, lifting his discarded flight suit and clumsily pulling it on over his naked form before heading for the ladder. You watch as he climbs it, then hear the small bang as the cockpit hatch closes, the lock engaging.
You stand naked in the bunk alcove in the half-dark with the warm wet ache of him still inside you, listening to him moving above, then sit down on the edge of the bunk and lay both your hands flat against your thighs, breathing slowly, the way heâs taught you to breathe when youâve come back too hot from a fight and canât bring yourself down. You take the breaths, count them and let your shoulders come down.
Your hips hurts and when you look down, you can already see, in the small backwash of light from the hold, the dark beginnings of bruises above the bones. You press one with your fingertip and the small, bright ache of it is almost a relief.
You scout the floor for your trousers, pull your sleep shirt back on and think, first, about whether youâre alright.
You are â you know you are. Your hips are bruised and your scalp feels tender and thereâs a small soreness inside you thatâs nothing youâve not had before. Youâre alright. You said stop and he stopped, the way you knew he would. He stopped completely.
The Creed is a discipline, and the discipline has held, even at the end, even with him chasing something through you that he canât have.
You sit there a long time wondering if you might cry and quickly realising that you wonât. What comes instead is a long, slow, steady clarity telling you, firstly, that heâs not alright and secondly that heâs not going to be alright by himself.
The third thing the clarity tells you is that youâre going to have to go up there after youâve given him some time to be alone with the thing heâs just discovered about himself, the way an animal that has been caught in a snare needs a stretch of being alone with the snare before itâll let anyone near to take it off.
But you know the stretch canât not be too long, because you know the decision a man like Din Djarin is capable of making about himself, when heâs just hurt the woman he loves and itâs not a decision youâre going to let him reach unattended.
Standing up, you move slowly, around the hold, making yourself useful. You fold the blanket that has slipped off the bench. You pick up the scarf from where it migrated days ago to the small shelf beside the bunk, fold it and put it back. You drink a glass of water and stand in front of the small mirror in the cycler looking at your reflection.
Your hair is wild from his hand and thereâs a small flush along your throat. Your eyes look tired, but not frightened, and you donât look, when you turn at the waist to check, like a woman whoâs been hurt past mending. The bruises on your hip are already coming up dark, and you trace one with your fingertip, thinking about how youâre going to tell him about them and deciding youâre going to tell him the truth, because the truth is the only thing thatâs going to be useful to him tonight.
You wait fifteen minutes and then walk to the foot of the ladder, laying your hand on the rung.
"Din?"
The cockpit hatch doesnât open, not that you expect it to. You stand at the foot of the ladder with your hand on the rung and speak up the shaft just loud enough that he can catch your voice through the hatch.
"Din, I'm coming up in a minute. I just want you to know that."
Youâre met with silence and you stand there a moment longer, stroking the cool metal of the rung with your thumb the way he strokes your stomach, and you breathe.
"I'm alright," you say quietly. "I want you to hear me say that.â
The cockpit hatch doesnât open and he doesnât answer.
You wait two more minutes and then begin to climb. At the top of the ladder, you lay your hand against the hatch.
"I'm at the hatch. I'm not going to open it because I want you to open it when you're ready. I'm just going to sit here on the ladder and wait."
Sitting down on the top rung, you lean your back against the bulkhead beside the hatch, fold your arms across your knees, lay the side of your head against the cool metal, close your eyes and wait.
You donât how long you wait for but, eventually, the lock disengages. You donât sit up or push the hatch open. Rather, you wait for him to open it.
The hatch slides open from the inside and when you open your eyes and look up, you see him sitting in the pilotâs chair, turned to face the hatch, with the helmet on, the visor angled at the deck plating between his feet.
He doesnât look up as you climb the last two rungs and sit down on the lip of the hatch, your legs dangling into the shaft, your hands folded loose in your lap.
"Hi.â
"Cyar'ika...IâŠ"
His voice through the modulator is the voice of a man whoâs been crying. You donât know how you know that because, in all the time youâve flown with him, youâve never heard him cry, never even been entirely sure heâs capable of it. But the small uneven catch in his breath and the slight thickness in the way the modulator handles the word tells you that he has and is.
"Can I come in?" you ask softly. âOr do you need me to stay here?"
He doesnât answer right away.
"Come in," he says, eventually.
You donât go to him. Instead, you go to the copilot's chair and sit down in it sideways, so that youâre facing him, your bare feet tucked up under you, your hands still folded loose in your lap. You look at the dash, at the dim glow of the navigation readouts, at the small steady spin of the proximity scanner, so that he doesnât have the weight of your eyes.
He doesnât look up, the visor remaining angled at the deck.
"Din, I need to tell you some things, okay?"
"Yes."
"Firstly, Iâm physically alright. Iâve got two bruises on my hip from where your hands were and my scalp is a little tender from where you pulled my hair, but that's all.â
He doesnât answer and the visor stays angled at the deck. You watch, very faintly, the small involuntary shake of his shoulders under the flight suit.
"Secondly, I'm going to tell you that I love you and I want you to hear me say that now, before I say anything else. I love you, Din. Iâm not any less in love with you tonight than I was this morning.â
The vocoder catches a small broken sound thatâs almost a word and also not. You sit with him while he takes in what youâve said and let him have whatever time he needs.
"Alright," he says quietly.
"Good. Now I'm going to tell you the third thing. And I'm going to say it once, and then we're not going to talk about it tonight again, because tonight isnât the night to talk about it. Weâre going to talk about it tomorrow, or the day after, or when youâre ready. But I want you to hear it once tonight, because I want you to carry it into whatever youâre about to do with yourself in your own head, and I want it to be in there with you."
The visor doesnât move.
"You were chasing it, weren't you?"
He doesnât answer.
"You were chasing the way it was that night, and youâve been chasing it for four weeks. Iâve watched you chase it and I havenât said anything because I didnât know how to say it without taking something away from you that Iâve got no business taking. But tonight you chased it harder than youâve chased it before, and tonight I felt it, Din. I felt you trying to get through the helmet at me with your body because you canât get through it any other way."
The vocoder catches a small, wrecked sound.
"Iâm not angry," you say. "I want you to hear that. Iâm not angry, Din, because I understand why. We had something that was real, and itâs not something a man can put down easily after heâs had it. I shouldâve understood that better than I did. I shouldâve asked you, the morning after about how you were going to carry it and I didn't, and for that Iâm sorry.â
You uncurl your hands and lay one palm flat on the armrest of the copilot's chair, facing up, as an offering.
"But you canât chase it through me, Din. Not because you hurt me, but because if you chase it through me, youâre not being true to yourself. Youâre not letting us be what we are to each other. I donât want to be a thing you have to fight your way through your armour to reach. I want to be the thing inside the armour with you."
You let out a long breath, and still, he says nothing.
"That's all I wanted to say. â
You sit there watching the proximity scanner until he finally speaks and, when he does, the voice through the modulator is very small. The voice he keeps for the things that hurt him.
"Cyar'ika."
"Yes?"
"IâŠI didnât know that I was. I thoughtâŠI thought I had it under control. I thought I hadâŠI had set it down the morning after. I had taken it out and I had looked at it, and I had set it down. I told myself I had."
"I know."
"I told myself I had every morning. Every morning I would pick it up and look at it and set it back down, and I told myself the setting down was the work. I told myself I was doing the work. IâŠ"
The vocoder catches.
"But I wasnât doing the work," he says. "I was wearing it smooth."
"I know, Din. I saw you do it."
He bends forward in the chair and lays his hands across the visor of the helmet, the way a man holds his head in his hands when heâs trying to keep something inside it.
"I hurt you."
"Not badly."
"I hurt you."
"Alright, you did, a little. And I said stop, and you stopped. I want you to hear that part â you stopped. You stopped completely, Din, the second I said it. You heard me and you stopped."
"Thatâs notâŠthatâs not the bar, cyar'ika. Thatâs not the bar I want to meet."
"I know it isn't."
"I donât want to be a man who has to be told to stop. I donât want to be a man whoâŠwho chases a thing through the woman heâŠ" the vocoder cuts on the word.
"I know, Din."
He doesnât say anything for a long time, his hands remaining flat against the brow of the visor. You donât move from the copilot's chair, but you keep your palm up on the armrest, letting it be a thing he can come to if he wants.
"Iâm afraid."
The vocoder almost strips the word, but you hear it anyway.
"Afraid of what?"
"Iâm afraid that IâveâŠIâve learned a thing about myself I didnât know was in there. That thereâs a man in here whoâŠwho wants past the Creed. Who wants past it badly enough to put his hands on you and pull. And I donâtâŠI donât know what to do with knowing that cyar'ika. Iâve built my⊠my whole self on top of the Creed. The Creed is the floor. If Iâm the kind of man whoâŠwho pulls against it through you, then I donât know what the floor is."
You sit with his words for a long careful moment, because the thing heâs setting down between you is a thing that matters, and youâre not going to answer it cheaply.
"Din, will you come over here? Iâm not going to ask you anything. I just want you over here because youâre too far away, please.â
He doesnât move and the hands stay on the visor.
"Din, please."
Finally, he stands slowly and crosses the small space between the chairs. He doesnât look at you or sit. He stands in front of the copilot's chair with the visor angled at the deck and his hands hanging useless at his sides.
You reach up and take both his hands in yours, gently drawing him down to you. He comes down to his knees in front of the chair, kneeling between your feet on the deck plating of the cockpit, and you cradle his hands in yours and turn them, slowly, so the palms are up, and you lay your own palms flat on them, and hold him there.
"Listen to me."
The visor remains angled at the deck.
"Look up, Din."
He looks up slowly.
"Thereâs no man in there who wants past the Creed. Thereâs a man in there who loves a woman and wants to be close to her. Thatâs all that is. Youâve built your whole self on top of the Creed, and the Creed is the floor, and the floor is fine. The floor is not cracked. The floor held. You said yes to a negotiated night, took it, and then you tried, for four weeks, to carry it without telling me you were having trouble, and thatâs the only place anything went wrong tonight. You shouldâve told me. The next time you have trouble carrying something, you need to tell me. Yes?"
The visor is very still. "Yes.â
"Good."
You stroke his hands with your thumbs.
âThe night in the hold was a gift, we both said so. But a gift isnât a debt or a thing you have to chase. A gift is a thing you get to have once, and the having of it doesnât require any more havings to stay real. The night in the hold is real, it will stay real and it will be real in a year, and in five, and in twenty. Iâm not going anywhere, Din, and the night in the hold is going to be one of the things I take with me to whatever is on the other side of a long life on this ship with you. It doesnât need to happen again to stay real. Do you hear me?"
"Yes," he replies, softly. âI hear you."
You sit there with his hands in yours and after a long moment, you feel the long shudder of a breath go out of him through the modulator that you understand, with a small flat clarity, is the first whole breath heâs taken since the bunk.
"Iâm sorry, cyar'ika."
"I know."
"I wonâtâŠ"
"I know."
He lays his forehead against your knee and you place one hand against the back of the helmet and hold him there, stroking, very slowly, with the pad of your thumb, the small place where the lip of the helmet meets the collar of his flight suit, the small bare strip of skin youâve touched a thousand times.
"I'm going to ask you something now, Din, and I want you to answer it honestly.â
"Alright."
"Do you need a stretch of nights where we don't do anything at all? JustâŠnothing but sleeping.? Just my back against your chest and your hand on my stomach and the helmet on and nothing else? Would that help?"
You feel the small careful stillness of him at your knee, the slow consideration of a man who is, for the first time in four weeks, letting himself actually look at what he needs instead of what heâs supposed to be capable of.
"Yes."
The word comes out small.
"Yes, I thinkâŠI think I do. I think I need that."
"Then we'll have that."
"Cyar'ikaâŠ"
"We'll have that, Din. As long as you want it. You tell me when youâre sitting with it clean, when youâve stopped chasing it, when youâre settled. And then we can go back to the way it was before, the way I love, Din, the way I loveâŠ"
Your voice catches small and unexpectedly, and you steady it quickly.
âAnd we wonât be chasing anything. Weâll just be having what we have, alright?"
"Alright."
You stroke the back of his helmet.
"And weâre not going to talk about doing the other thing again. Not for a long time, maybe not ever. Iâm not going to come to you in six months or a year and ask you to take the helmet off. The night in the hold is not a thing Iâm going to ask you to give me again. If it ever happens again, itâll be because you, the man inside the armour decides that you want it, and not before.â
The vocoder catches a long uneven breath and the helmet nods slowly.
"And if that night never comes, I wonât be wanting for anything. I have the one night here." You lay your free hand flat to your sternum. "I have the shape of your face under my fingertips, and I have the sound of your voice without the modulator, and I have the feel of your mouth on me and Iâm full of it, Din. I donât need another helping. I want you to never, ever again be lying behind me in the bunk wondering if Iâm wanting more than I have because I wonât.â
He doesnât answer and you feel, against your knee, the small uneven shake of him. You sit like that a long time, letting the time be a thing that happens around you until he eventually lifts his head, the T shape of the visor finding your face.
"Cyar'ika, will you let me see the bruises?"
You donât flinch at the request. Instead, you stand, gently drawing him up, take his hand and lead him down the ladder, across the hold and into the bunk.
You sit on the edge and ease the waistband of your trousers down, slowly, so he can see. The dark shapes above your hipbones have come up in the last half hour to a deep blue-purple, the kind of bruise that will be ugly tomorrow and uglier the day after and will, by the end of a week, be a soft greenish-yellow.
He looks at them for a long time.
âIâm sorry.â
He kneels slowly and lays both hands very lightly on you, cradling the curve of your hips, his thumbs not pressing, just settling near.
"May I?"
"Yes."
He bends, the brow of the helmet pressing, very lightly, to each bruise in turn, holding there a long moment, breathing through the modulator, his thumbs stroking once across the soft skin above the bones.
Then he moves and climbs into the bunk behind you, pulling you back against his chest with the helmet at the top of your head and his bare hand splayed warm across your stomach.
His thumb begins the small, slow, absent circle, and you close your eyes, feeling the warm familiar weight of him. You feel the visor against your hair, the bare hand on your stomach, the thumb in its small slow rhythm, the bare arm warm along the underside of your breasts.
The helmet is on. The Creed is on. The bruises on your hip ache, dully, against the warm length of his thigh behind yours, and the small, clean ache of it is, somehow, against every odd, a comfort â a thing you can feel, a thing that proves youâre both still inside your bodies. A thing that will, in a week, be greenish-yellow and then nothing at all.
"Thank you," he says softly.
"Youâre welcome."
"I love you."
The vocoder catches a little on the words, and you hear, underneath, the human warmth of the voice youâve been given once and will not be given again, and the hearing of it underneath is not a thing that hurts â itâs a thing you have.
You lay your hand over his on your stomach and lace your fingers through his.
"I love you too, Din."
His thumb resumes its small, slow, absent circle against your skin.
You donât know yet how many nights of just-this itâll take. You donât know if there will be a slow careful return to the long, patient rhythm of how it has been, or whether something between you will have to be built newly out of the rubble of tonight, piece by piece, the way the covert he lost is a thing that can perhaps, in some long quiet future, be rebuilt out of the materials at hand.
You donât know if there will be other nights when heâll need to lay his bruised wanting at your knee and have you hold it, or whether the work of tonight will be enough.
But you know that youâre both here.
Closing your eyes, you let the warmth of him be the thing your body settles into. You let the small slow circle of his thumb be the metronome your breath organises itself around as you sleep.
When you wake, in the small blue hour before the Crest's day cycle comes up, his bare hand is still splayed across your stomach, and his helmet is still pressed to your hair, and the long warm length of him is still against your back.
Heâs still here and the work in front of you both is work that two people who love each other can do.
You lay your free hand over his on your stomach and close your eyes again, sleeping another hour, against him, in the small, warm, blue dim, before the day asks anything of either of you.
â°â°â°â°â°â°â°â°đâ°â°â°â°â°â°â°â°
Taglist: @thelittlebats @sassythejedi @millercontracting @porganas @lovely-kitsune-exe @themilkhasjustexpired @dream-alittlebiggerdarling
PTaglist: @copperhalfcent @missladym1981 @whattheflipsiesss @brittmb115 @elizabeth4th @peepawmiller @angelwithablade @cassieorz @somedayheaven @silversvu12 @madpanda75 @johnssherlock221 @madnessofadaydreamer @kirsteng42 @ifall4dilfs @pedro-pascal-3nthusiast @cuteanimalmama @inept-the-magnificent @mystickittytaco @arood98 @sunnytuliptime @katw474 @pascalgold @dotyoureyez @victoriaholland @loveday1219 @awkwardpaws @misstokyo7love @vinyl-and-coffee @spock1988 @readingiskeepingmegoing @kakiki3 @kayidlewild @miserysinferno @tupelomiss @untamedheart81 @ilovequeen978 @g0ldenstarr @missadangel
SMUT FIC RECS đĄâšïž 18+ MDNI
A skilled bounty hunter whose identity is based on never showing his face. Power. Restraint. Conflict. With him it's always complicated and intense, it feels gooood, it hurts. Dare I say, Din could have been made for intimate fanfiction. I've tracked down some "kinky" or dark smut fics because deep and dark just seems to suit him also, no? Most fics listed here are Din x female reader except where marked - that's what I could find. I note (variations on or deviations from this pairing), [why the fic made the cut if it's not obvious] and [if the author tagged as dddne - dead dove do not eat - explained here].
A Close Call cowboykylo69 on ao3 [rough sex]
Beg @amanitacowboy [edging]
Beyond My Skin, Deep In My Bones @djarins-wife [breeding kink, rough sex, spanking]
Bleed For Me series @saradika (mandâalor!vampire!din x f reader)
Beskar Doll series JustAGalWhoWrites on ao3 (brat tamer! Din x f reader)
Best Kept Secret Chapter Six: Torment series @lincolndjarin "din djarin is a little shit, helmet stays on" (bodyguard! Din x f reader)
Close Quarters cptnbvcks on ao3 (dom! Din x f reader)
Colosseum Capers @beefrobeefcal (Din x Dieter Bravo x f reader)
Darkness Trilogy series @queenofslowburn (demon! Din x witch! reader)
Despoliation Of The Flesh series @djarinmuse (possessed! Din) [dddne]
Din's Kitten @honeybunnyale ["darkish! fic"]
Deep Into The Wilderness mandoinevarro on ao3 [sex pollen]
Fifteen series @whocaresstillthelouvre (Din x cam girl reader au)
Grip mandoandyodito on ao3 [dry humping, wet dream]
Heresy @kewwrites (demon! Din x f reader) [dddne]
How To Touch @petalsinblood ["Din has nipple piercings"]
Hyperspace Nights series @jedijesi (rough Din! x f reader)
In A Perfect World, You Love Me @theidiotwhowritesthings [forced drug, hallucinations]
In The Dead Of Night @kedsandtubesocks (creature cowboy! Din x f reader)
Interlude: Burn in My Bloodstream @prolix-yuy (Din x f reader, Din x Xi'an)
Ignite @withmyloveasyourgarden [sex pollen]
Kinktober Day 2: Din Djarin - deep throating, rope play with Din Djarin @paulyenvol6
Kinktober Day 3: dark!din djarin x fem!reader @darkuselesssomebody [sex pollen, dddne]
Kinktober Day 11: Din Djarin October 11 â punishment, spanking with Din Djarin @paulyenvol6
Kinktober 14 â somnophilia with Din Djarin @paulyenvol6
Kinktober Day 23: Din Djarin October 23 â boot licking, cock worship with Din Djarin @paulyenvol6
Leading Blindly @pascalispretty (virgin! Din x sex worker f reader)
Limitless | D.D. @honeybunnyale ["t.w. : Dark fic, Smut (with a robot that looks like Dinny Din Din >:)), Breeding Kink, Angst, Din and reader are both insane for each other"]
Like A Moth To The Flame series @the-scandalorian (monster! Din x f reader)
Mand'alor Cabur nautilicious on ao3 (Din x Boba Fett)
Mandalorian's Mercy // bonus content: din's poc series @silver-pieces (alpha!Din x omega!cis!woman!reader)
Mutual @the-scandalorian (sex worker!Din x f reader)
Prisoner - Part 1 @almostempty (Din x f bounty hunter reader)
Quarry series AK_Vintage on ao3 (Din x f prisoner reader)
Riduur in Training @absurdthirst [sexual grooming, training]
Rule Maker, Rule Breaker mandoinevarro on ao3 [bondage, face fucking, etc.]
Rough Day series no-droids on ao3 ["Summary: When you woke up this morning, you didnât really think it would be a 'fixing Mandoâs knife wound and then giving him a handjob' kind of day"]
Secrets @absurdthirst (virgin! Din x f reader)
Shadows @burntheedges (monster! Din x f reader)
Sorgan Girls Are Easy- Solo Din Djarin murder-wife-deactivated20250628
Silent Genesis @sp00kymulderr [light choking]
Take Me To Church series on ao3 @frannyzooey is reworking to republish on Tumblr ["set in a brothel in the 1800s in the Wild West", Threesome F/F/M]
Take Your Time @ghostofaboy (Din x Cobb Vanth)
That Time Again @orcasoul [fluff but periods]
The Apostate Ch 1 series murder-wife-deactivated20250628 (fallen angel! Din, later chapters x ofc)
The Might Of The Realm @604to647 [bath sex]
The Way To A Great Wide Somewhere @myownwholewildworld (beast! Din x f reader)
The Throne @absurdthirst [pregnancy kink, breeding kink]
The Visitor Part 1 @whocaresstillthelouvre (husband din x omc! Jedi Kalel x f reader)
The Storm @frannyzooey (Ezra x Frankie Morales x Din Djarin x f!reader)
This Is The Tea @yespolkadotkitty [sex pollen]
Tight @frannyzooey [â'I donât want you to wear anything but this when you sleep in my bed, okay?'â]
Told Before and Told Again @kiwisbell [sex pollen, "fuck or die"]
Torment series @djarinmuse ["They are both trapped and their captor has dark plans for them"]
Unexpectedly Mated @absurdthirst (alpha!Din x f!omega!Reader) [knotting]
Unfettered @the-scandalorian [sex pollen, use of restraints, "sex-pollened!Mando gets scary"]
Unrestrained @the-scandalorian [sex pollen]
Untitled or response to ask "A din that hasnt seen tits since he was 25, let alone TOUCHED THEM" @here-briefly
Untitled or "inspired by time for a haircut, king" @djarinmuse [masturbation] (Din x GN reader)
Welcome Home | D.D. @honeybunnyale ["Dark-fic!...Jealous, Possessive, implied crazy Din"]
Whispers In The Dark 2.0 series @kewwrites (dark! Din x f reader) [dddne]
You Were Marked series @handspunyarns (Din x *reverse age gap* *plus-sized* *fem* *afab* O/C) [dddne]
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
I listened to My Din YT Playlist while making this and had the best time.
Disclaimer: I haven't read all of these yet, I'm just feeling the vibes. Thank you to the authors - I tried to tag only once but Tumblr's not cooperating - if you'd rather not have your work mentioned please let me know. Din won't mind ;-P
Thank you for putting this together and including one of mine! đ„čđ„čđ„č This list is HOT HOT HOT and I shall treasure and refer to it often for âšreasonsâšđ
The Might of the Realm
8.9K / Din Djarin x Princess!Reader
Summary: Din Djarin, General to your fatherâs army, finds himself in the gladiator arena of a foreign planet fighting for the success of your diplomatic mission.
Warnings: 18+ Content (MDNI please). Established secret relationship (they are stupid in love), Mando'a nicknames (mesh'la, cyar'ika, cyare), the helmet comes off but reader is blindfolded, bath sex, fingering, unprotected PiV (Star Wars is made up and in space, so we pretend it's fine). A wee bit of angst if you squint.
A/N: Written for @beefrobeefcal's The Glandolorian challenge! This is the same AU that I imagined for my Kiss It Better drabble, with the same Princess!reader: set post Season 3, Carson Teva has dispatched Din to a New Republic stronghold planet to train and strengthen their armies; he becomes their General and falls in love with the realm's princess. I imagine this story to take place before Kiss It Better, when they are still sneaking around đ„°.
Many moons before another General (đ€) came on the scene, I outlined a long story for this AU that I'm not sure I'll ever write, so kindly forgive my self indulgent word count - I really took advantage of this challenge for a chance to write these two đ„° Struggled a bit with the Dieter Bravo reference, but I think I found something that works (Thank you to @morallyinept for your invaluable character dialogue database!) Also got inspired by someone's Gladiator II premier look and snuck in one (1) The Princess Bride reference đ€ / Dividers by @saradika-graphics / EDIT: OOPS IT A SERIES NOW
âNo.â
âPrincess, it will be fine.â
âI said ânoâ, Din. We came to pay our respects to the new rule and to affirm that our established trade routes through Flavin 5âs space will remain intact. We did not come to be participate in some archaic gladiatorial fighting match to assert dominance.â
Even through the blankness of Dinâs visor you can tell heâs amused by your hiss of a retort but is holding back his reaction. His stoic and impassive demeanor normally reserved for others, you know that if heâs being less than fully direct with you itâs for one of two reasons: 1) he doesnât want to lie or 2) he doesnât want to risk your ire. You suppose itâs the latter in this case, and that thought alone is reason enough for you to calm your emotional response to this predicament and reassess.
Taking a deep breath, you rest one hand on your hip and mimic a stance youâve seen your fearsome General make many times; with your other you gesture at Din to present his argument for voluntarily sending your guard, the top lieutenants of the army he commands, into a battle arena on foreign soil.
âMeshâla, I know your instinct is to protect your people, but you know as well as I that our troops, and especially the men who have been deemed fit to accompany you on this diplomatic mission, are more than capable of handling themselves in any combat situation.â
Din almost chuckles at the way you tilt your pretty head ready to interrupt, his feisty cyarâika; he continues hurriedly, but with the calm confidence he knows you respond to, âYou diligently studied Flavian traditions and history before embarking on this trip â you yourself taught me all I know of these people. Despite the new ruling familyâs decision to resurrect this ancient custom, what is your sense of these people? Do they seem barbaric? Cruel for crueltyâs sake? This isnât the Petranaki arena on Geonosis.â
You would roll your eyes at Dinâs perfectly level-headed analysis, if you didnât consider his strategic and tactical mind one of his most attractive qualities; Dinâs shrewd ability to consider all angles of any situation is one of your armyâs greatest strengths, and one that never fails to weaken you at the knees. Heâs taking this situation as seriously as you need him to, and so, you consider your answer carefully - working through your thoughts out aloud, âNo, they are not a cruel people â and youâre right, these gladiatorial games were never about execution or spectacle like they were on Geonosis. The ancient Flavian events were meant to bring the people, no matter class or station, together to be entertained, usually in celebration.â
âDo you think that tradition is being respected? Or do you suspect some hidden agenda?â
You remunerate on this, thinking back to the new Flavian royal family you met earlier today, âNo. I believe them to be sincere. Their purpose in resurrecting this historic custom is, I think, to build a connection with their people. Participating in the gladiator match would be a show a respect for the Flavian people and a celebration of the new royal family.â You take a deep breath, âSo, we should participate.â
âI agree completely, Princess.â
This time you do roll your eyes at Din, but thereâs no arrogance in your expression, âFine. But Din, just because thereâs no ill intent does not mean there isnât risk. We donât know what to expect from such a fight â there hasnât been one like it held in centuries. Who knows what opponents our men would face in the arena?â
âNo matter who or what our troops are pitted against tomorrow, Princess, there is no doubt in my mind that they will be able to handle it.â
Nodding thoughtfully, you have to agree, Din did train them himself after all, âI believe it. Especially since they will have their fearless General there to lead them.â
âNo.â
âDin, it will be fine.â
âI said ânoâ, meshâla. I cannot leave you unprotected and without guard in the Royal Box,â huffs Din.
Stepping into Dinâs space, you lay your hands on the shiny beskar that sits across his expansive chest, swearing you can feel it vibrate beneath your gentle palm from his thundering heartbeat; tipping yourself towards the great warrior before you, you feel his big, gloved hands move to your waist to steady you just as you knew they would. Giving Din your most innocuous expression, you coo, âThere is no need for me to have a protective guard if we deem the Flavian royals to be of honourable intent; if it is safe enough for our soldiers to participate in the gladiatorial games, then it is safe enough for me to be alone in the Royal Box.â
Dinâs smile at your cleverness and persuasive tactics is hidden beneath his helmet, but heâs yet not ready to show you heâs given in so he remains as silent and cold as the armour he wears.
You use this opportunity to loop one arm around your hulking Generalâs neck to bring him closer to you still, your free hand takes one of his from your waist and brings it up to his helmet in a silent request. The familiar click of Dinâs helmet unlocking is the only invitation you need - using your nose to lift the brim of his helmet slightly above his strong jaw so you can find his plush lips with your own, you feel the hint of a smile against your pout before you deepen the kiss. Opening to let Din lick into your mouth, you melt against the hard metal that represents everything he is to you: extraordinary, flawless, indestructible.
And such a good kisser, letting loose a soft whimper you nearly miss Din chuckle something against your lips.
âWhatâs that, General?â you sigh dreamily.
âI said, Princess, I saw what you did there, and that was NOT the way,â chastising with no actual bite, Din lowers and relocks his helmet.
âIâm not sure what you mean,â flashing him that breathtaking smile of yours that always makes him forget himself, âIâm only following the logic you already agreed to. Grogu and I will be fine watching you showcase the might of our realm from the safety of our spectator seats tomorrow.â
âGrogu will be with me in the fighting area.â
âNo.â
âCyarâika, he will be fine.â
âHeâs just a baby, Din!â
âAnd a Mandalorian apprentice. Youâve seen what a formidable fighter heâs already grown to be.â
And so on, and so forth â the two of you, the General and his Princess, spiritedly discussing and debating matters that affect your realm. The thought crosses your mind, not for the first time, that when you ascend the throne after your father you will need a ruling partner who challenges you like this: one who makes you wiser and forces you to expand your horizons, but trusts your compassion and tender heart, and who you trust to keep you and your kingdom safe. And as you always do when this thought naturally lends itself to an image of Din by your side, tall and proud as your King consort, you push it away as far as you can. It hurts too much to imagine something that seems to materialize so clearly and happily, as if it could actually become a reality, when you know it could never be.
The crowd in the arena is deafening. Already amped from the opening entertainment acts, theyâre now cheering loud, calling for the main event.
Sitting front row in the Royal Box, you scan over the floor of the arena â knowing that itâs unlikely, but still hoping for a flash of silver beskar from behind one of the gates that line the sides of the arena floor, behind which lay the holding areas for the gladiator fighters selected for todayâs match. Once or twice, you think you spy the sunlight catch something shiny from beneath the stands, but before you can look more closely, someone from the Flavian royal family will engage your attention. Though your mind never strays far from Din and his, your men, you cannot forget yourself or your role - your purpose for being in this arena today: youâre here to secure the continued prosperity your kingdom and strengthen your realmâs relationship with a long-standing ally.Â
If youâre honest, despite the trepidation that sits heavily atop your heart, you cannot help but be affected by the electricity of your environment. The stadium thrums and pulses with the excitement of thousands of Flavian citizens who have come out in the hot sun to partake in todayâs festivities â you see children of all ages waving noisemakers and colourful flags, men and women young and old already cheering for who they anticipate to be todayâs victors. Based on the chatter in your tent, the news of your General fighting today has spread like wildfire through the city â very few Flavians have ever seen a Mandalorian, never mind have the privilege of seeing one fight; today was going to be a day they remember for the rest of their lives. As for your companions in the Royal Box, youâre happy to see that your and Dinâs assessment had been accurate â there is no underlying bloodlust or malevolent show of power associated with these fights, everything is only in good fun; your royal cohorts are all in splendid moods, showing genuine enthusiasm akin to the original spirit of the same games put on by their ancestors.
Youâre just chatting amiably with the new Flavian king about having some of the wonderful Flavian wine and fruit youâve enjoyed in the tent sent up to your room later, when a fanfare of trumpets echoes throughout the stadium announcing the start of todayâs fight. The crowd quiets to a soft buzzing as the amphitheatreâs speakers announce the entrance of your fighters; the volume rises again as the audience goes wild when the might of your realm runs in through the gladiatorâs entrance. You canât help but beam, chest bursting with pride at the impression they make on the Flavian crowd â a big, broad Mandalorian General, towering in his stance and intimidating in his majestic armour, flanked by your guard: five of the strongest, most formidable soldiers from your fatherâs army.Â
You spy Grogu before the Flavian royals do, but itâs only because you know where to look. A perch for him has been attached to the side of his fatherâs jet pack so he can remain secure at Dinâs shoulder during combat, but have the flexibility to jump off and join the fray if needed.  The instant the Flavian prince spots him, he excitedly points him out to the others â and you take great pleasure in informing your hosts that they, in fact, have the honour of seeing two Mandalorians today.
With only a few moments before their opponents arrive in the arena, you take a closer look at your fighting contingent â they have been outfitted with Flavian weapons (swords, blasters, electro shields), the standard issue armament of your kingdom they normally carry nowhere in sight; the only exception is of course Din, who carries the gladiatorial weapons like the others and all of his usual weaponry â you chuckle to yourself, imagining the poor Flavian weapons master who tried to strip a Mandalorian of his religion.
A loud voice announcing the incoming fighters for Flavin 5 jerks you back to the scene before you. The crowd thunders as a squadron of battle droids nearly a hundred strong marches into the arena, each carrying varying sized blasters or blaster rifles in addition to their own swords, a few wielding double ended electro staffs. You barely have time to fret over how outnumbered Din and your troops are before the king is rising in his seat and giving the ceremonial hand gesture for the fight to begin.
You hear your General shout quick, decisive commands and his trusty men move swiftly into the desired formation, electro shields lit up and expanded in one coordinated movement. They advance as a team, strong and sure, every aim of their blasters true â each man practiced at covering the comrades at their sides as the droids begin shooting back.
When your men are close enough to the front line of the remaining droids, the intimidating battle cry you hear emanating from Dinâs helmet is repeated in response at tenfold the volume by his men, a signal to shift fluidly into a tiered offensive formation that you recognize from watching their training on the palace grounds at home.
The legion moves with precision and speed, the crouched soldiers providing the impenetrable shielding needed by the men who stand tall as a precision sniper team that canât be touched; your Mandalorian the tallest, unphased by the droid fire that bounces harmlessly off his beskar armour.
The formation is far more effective than the static positions of the droids and in almost no time at all, your fighters have driven the remaining thirty or so droids back towards the entrance gate. Answering another roared order, your contingent springs apart with an unrivalled ferocity to attack the remaining droids via direct combat.
Din cuts down mechanical fighter after mechanical fighter, mowing through the defensive lines of the Flavian droids that have none of his agility and lighting quick reflexes, bolstered by his trusted troops at his back who move with the confidence of men who have been trained by the best, used to fighting with the best.
Grogu has left his father, jumping from his perch onto and over droids with lightening speed - they shoot at him with their blasters only to miss their fast-moving green target every time and take each other out instead.
You watch their every move with bated breath â every bolt that connects with your realmâs armour quickens your breath, the clashing sounds of weapon on weapon too loud in your ears, and each hit or wound sustained by one of your men jolts a phantom pain through your own body.
When the last droid soldier falls, your men, your man, stand victorious at the epicenter of the arena; bloodied, exhausted to the point that the heaving of their chest plates can be seen from the Royal Box⊠but all standing.
You can hardly believe it - your heart exploding with pride, tears nearly springing from your eyes in relief. Looking to your hosts, you half expect them to congratulate you and acknowledge the victory of your fighters, but instead, you see them still engaged with the scene before them, eyes trained on the arena floor.
They smile with genuine excitement and anticipation, and your eyes snap back to Din and your soldiers at the sound of the brassy, melodic fanfare now being played throughout the stadium. The crowd rises to its feet with an ear-splitting roar as the orchestral horns continue to crescendo, announcing the coming of something.
You glance at the Flavian prince, his face alight with boyish joy â heâs excited in an almost childish way and when he sees you looking at him, he beams and points to one of the gates thatâs now opening, voice elated, âCliff beasts!â
Cliff beasts?!? You stand from your seat and rush to the edge of the balcony, gripping the railing and leaning as far as you can so you can see what new challenger is about to enter the arena. You gasp when you see it â a woolly beast larger than Din and his men combined, trotting out into the arena on four stubby but powerful legs. A magnificent horn, the length of which must span at least half of the creatureâs massive body protrudes from its snout, thick and battle ready.Â
A mudhorn?? Of all the beasts to have entered the arena, what where the chances it would be the beast of Dinâs clan signet? For a moment, youâre alarmed that maybe there have been unseen machinations at play and youâve been blind to it all â that youâve somehow failed in your diplomatic duties, failing your kingdom, your men, Din.Â
You study the Flavian prince whoâs now proclaiming to his father, the king, âThese cliff beasts are so large!â The two of them are enthusiastically waving and gesturing to the other attendees in the Royal Box, their chatter is of wonderment and genuine amazement at the sight of this creature that theyâve never before beheld on their planet - you conclude, with relief, that it has to be a coincidence. Wait, what did he mean â these?Â
Peering down into the arena again you see a second, smaller mudhorn ambling behind the first. A parent and its child! Your heart tightens, imagining how scared the two creatures have to be and how fiercely the adult will fight in order to protect its young. You catch Dinâs visor pointed up at you from the arena floor and you know that he understands the distressed expression of your face perfectly.
Immediately, your General gathers his men and lays out his strategy â unknowable to the crowds of the arena, but you can read Din clear as day: he wonât cause harm to another living creature if he doesnât have to.
Din and his soldiers slowly fan out, purposefully ignoring the young calf while surrounding the adult mudhorn. As expected, the mudhorn charges in attack. Trying to blink as little as possible for fear of missing anything, you watch wide-eyed as your men deftly leap and roll out of the path of the stampeding animal. When the mudhorn stops and turns back towards the perceived threat to its young, the soldiers surround it again â rocking on the balls of their feet ready to evade its charge again. They arenât always as lucky or fast enough â you cry out in anguish whenever the Mudhorn makes contact, sending your guard flying, landing with a sickening thud on the arena floor from the force of the impact. The crowd gasps in worry, cheering louder than ever when your men get up to rejoin their brethren in repeating the same maneuver over and over.
Dinâs plan is working, the mudhorn is getting tired.Â
Part of you is relieved, the other hopes that its fatigue doesnât make the creature desperate; though your men are still standing, you donât know if any of them can sustain more injury to their bodies â an increasing danger that only grows as Din and your soldiers begin tightening the proverbial noose. You spy Din protracting his fibercord whip from his vambrace by hand only seconds before he does what you suddenly realize heâs going to do. The mudhorn is pawing at the ground, exhausted and angry while your men surround it, now each only about an armâs length away, when Din uses a jetpack blast to leap onto its back - throwing the whipcord around its horn and pulling back on his makeshift reins. The other men scatter and the crowd screams as your General rides the wildly bucking animal around the arena. At their Generalâs direction, your men are now divided between two tasks: half shoot at the galloping beast that unwillingly bears their fearless leader and his son, their blaster bolts a distraction but doing little to the mudhornâs tough hide; the remaining men tasked with capturing and restraining the calf â the seemingly easier task.Â
Heart nearly in your throat, you watch as Grogu climbs down the front of his fatherâs arm and onto the mudhorn, quickly crawling to the top of its head where the massive horn joins the creatureâs skull. With one of his little green hands holding onto the cord his father holds taut and the other placed directly on the mudhornâs woolly head, you see Grogu close his eyes in concentration. Gradually, the mudhornâs steps slow and its movements around the arena become unsteady, then wobbly, before it finally teeters and crashes onto its side fast asleep. Din jumps off just in time to avoid being crushed by the animalâs huge body - Grogu does a dramatic flip into the air at the same time and lands perfectly in his fatherâs waiting arms. The crowd roars its approval.Â
The Flavian royals next to you are on their feet, clapping and cheering with astonishment and admiration â congratulating you on the victory of your men and thanking you for the fantastic show youâve provided them today. Clasping your hands in appreciation, they heartedly assure you that the documents confirming your planetâs trade routes will be completed and delivered to you tomorrow.Â
You express your appreciation before turning your attention back towards the arena, heart full - relieved and proud of the men still on the fighting floor. You have to admit they make quite the sight waving to the cheering crowds while standing next to a sleeping mudhorn, two of your lieutenants holding a makeshift leash with a smaller mudhorn standing docile at its end. To the admiring masses, the large beast was subdued by these men, the might of your realm, but you know the truth. You blow a little kiss to Grogu who pretends to catch it in his little hand before waving back, happy but somewhat tired.
Even with his helmet on you can read Dinâs expression as he looks up to the Royal Box. Where is my kiss, meshâla?
You smile back a playful smirk just for the unseen eyes behind the dark T-visor. Later.
You pace in the large, ornamental suite that your hosts have graciously provided â itâs beautiful, a true testament to Flavian luxury and craftsmanship, but you have no attention to spare for its finery. Not when youâre straining your ears to listen for footsteps coming down the hall, eyes continuing to dart towards your door as if for some reason you may have missed hearing them come.
âPrincessâŠâ
Your ladyâs maids, Olivia and Serine, pace right along with you, following your tracks around the grand room. Theyâre as exhausted as you are, but you know their hearts to be as determined as your own; you give them the most indulgent look you can muster and any plea to ask you to rest dies on their lips. The three of you continue to take turns listening intently for the telltale sounds of a soldiersâ march.
Finally, you hear something. Faint but purposeful footsteps walking in synchronicity â the herald of well-trained soldiers with an intended destination. Perked, you look to your faithful companions with renewed vigor and sprint to your door, flinging it open without grace and hurrying into the dimly lit hallway.
Theyâre still far enough down the hall that you have some time, even with your hastened steps, to study how your men appear to be faring; you know that when you ask, they will insist they are fine so not to worry you.
Two of your countryâs finest are limping slightly, one of your lieutenants and a captain. Your other lieutenant is walking fine, but he has a nasty gash on his forearm, dripped, half dried blood wrapping around his wrist like a terrible bracelet. The armour of your realm that the legion proudly wears has taken a beating, covered in evidence of todayâs bout â marked, dirty and bloodied, but none of the men themselves appear to be grievously injured.
But itâs the man at the front of the pack that you study the most sincerely. Dinâs gait is not too unfamiliar for you to suspect heâs hiding any serious injury - he would know better than that. After the battle on the Fields of Planoor he had learned not to conceal his injuries from you, that you were so familiar with his body and the way it moves, you would know something was wrong without a single word from him. As Din stalks towards your group, you can feel the hot gaze from behind his visor assessing you just as you assess him; your General holds himself a bit straighter, his massive frame puffing in pride. He bears no sign of serious injury, a little sigh of relief escapes your lips as you continue to run down the hall, Olivia and Serine hot on your heels. But his back is probably killing him.
The men stop to a coordinated halt as you reach them; their weapons sheathed, they each raise their left fists to their chests and bow, âPrincess.â
You wave your hands in a graceful but frantic manner, dismissing this need for formality, âPlease. Are you okay? Is everyone alright?â
Reaching for Grogu, your heart settles a little when he climbs down from his secured perch on his fatherâs shoulder and leaps into your arms. Fussing over him, you check his fuzzy green ears and sweet face for injuries; when you run your hands over his limbs and body to do the same, he coos and giggles as if being tickled. Resting your palm against the security of the beskar rondel he wears beneath his tunic, you exhale in contented relief and place a long kiss to his head. Heâs okay.
Those same words are now being echoed out loud in the low modulated rasp of the voice you trust most in this galaxy, âHeâs okay, Princess. Not a scratch on him, the little womp rat. The Lieutenant could do with some fresh dressings for his arm, but the rest of us are fine â a bit banged up and tired, but nothing a warm bath and a good nightâs rest canât fix.â
Knowing that Dinâs helmet will give nothing away, you study the faces of your countrymen, trying to ascertain if their beloved General is downplaying the damage for your sake. Finding no deception in their eyes, and knowing that they know you would know, you relent, âHave you eaten?â
âWe were given sustenance after our victory.â
You raise your eyebrow at this, suspecting that Dinâs words answer only for his men, but not necessarily himself. Nodding, you give your final charge for the evening, âOlivia, Serine, please kindly see our brave soldiers to their rooms, run their baths and tend to them as needed.â
Your ladies-in-waiting curtsey in assent at your words and intuitively, Olivia extends her arms for Grogu â there are no secrets between you and your closest companions. Din nods at her and she takes her favourite little green playmate into her arms, happy to help clean him and put him to bed tonight while his father is otherwise occupied.
Din turns to face his men â similarly, there are no secrets between the General and his most trusted squadron, men who love their princess with an unyielding loyalty that rivals only his own. Your fatherâs soldiers salute their esteemed leader, bidding their Princess and General goodnight before following Olivia and Serine to their assigned quarters.
Silently, you take Dinâs hand and lead him back down the hallway to your room, careful not to hurry should he be much battered and sore, though the urgency in your chest is nearly bubbling over. Your concern appears to have been unfounded because as soon as the door to your room shuts, Din sweeps you into his arms with a force that takes your breath away - crushing you to his chest so tightly that you can feel him deflate beneath the hard beskar as he exhales his own long held sigh of relief.
You chuckle, âYou would have thought that I was the one fighting cliff beasts in the arena today.â
âCliff beasts?â Din tilts his head quizzically at you.
âIâll tell you later. Right now, letâs get you out of your armour,â your fingers slide under his pauldrons, feeling for the familiar release mechanism.
âCyarâika, if you wanted to have your way with me, you only had to ask - you didnât need to send me into a fight arena with a mudhorn,â jokes Din, wincing slightly from the stretch of his muscles as they contract and relax with the weight of his armour being lifted from his aching body.
You cluck your tongue in playful disapproval, even as you continue to make quick work of removing the rest of Dinâs armour. With now practiced precision, you lift off his chest plates and the attachment frame, unhook his jetpack, unclip his cape, slide off his vambraces, unstrap his thigh plates, unlace his boots, unbuckle his belt, unzip his flight suit. The ceremony of this process is one you will never tire of, nor is its significance lost on you.Â
Din, a Mandalorian, willingly lets you touch his armour and remove it from his body â trusting your delicate hands with his most precious property: the physical embodiment of his honour and creed, the very symbol of his people. Not only that, but he allows you to strip him of protection and reveal his vulnerability to you, exposing him and his softness â he exists as the man beneath the beskar for you and you only. Youâre the most privileged being in the galaxy â the weight of Dinâs trust in you is something you will never take for granted.
When Din stands before you in only his boxers and helmet, you begin your study of his body in earnest. Dancing your fingers across his hard and tanned chest, you trace old scars in order to separate them from new marks; palming his torso and checking his thick arms with the same careful hands. Rounding your warrior, you continue your roaming examination over his muscular back and listen intently for any change in Dinâs breathing when you press down on his tense shoulders â relieved when you hear him groan in satisfaction instead of pain. As youâre lightly scraping your nails over his wide thighs you hear the telltale unclicking of Dinâs helmet â he beckons you.
Rising to meet his lowering face, you use your thumbs to lift the brim of Dinâs helmet slightly, always keeping your eyes closed so you donât see any of his face â not for the world would you betray Dinâs trust. Mouth finding his easily, you kiss Din gingerly â unsure of what injuries he may have sustained beneath his helmet; lightly pecking his soft pout and pressing restrained affection to the corner of his mouth.
âIâm not going to break, cyare,â Din grins as if heâs reading your mind.
Snapping down his helmet with a bit more force than necessary, you peer up into the black horizonal stripe of his visor and sniffle, âI can see some big bruises starting to form over your abdomen and on the back of your thighs. And the muscles of your arms and back are overstrained and need to loosen or youâre going to be more sore tomorrow than you already will be.â The emotions you held in all day now start to spill over your lash line; dropping your head, you cry softly at the toll todayâs events have taken on your strong manâs body and how he bears it without complaint. Contrite and indebted that he sustained these injuries at the behest of your kingdom - your behest, for you.Â
Din gathers you in his arms and pulls you flush to his chest, tilting back his helmet again he kisses you lovingly, devotedly â with every stroke of his tongue, every nibble of your lips, he reminds you that it is not only his duty, but his honour to serve your kingdom, to serve you. He would do anything for you, without you ever having to bid it. It is not in him to deny you anything, his heartâs desire is to give you everything.
âI love you, Princess.â
âI love you, General.â
Not without some difficulty, you pull yourself out of Dinâs embrace and lead him to the suiteâs fresher, running the taps of the large tub and scenting the water with fragrant, healing oils.
âI can do that, meshâla,â one of Dinâs large meaty hands covers yours as you test the temperature of the water.
Shaking your head shyly, you bring that hand up to your lips and kiss its calloused knuckles, âPlease. Let me serve you, Din.â
âThat is not befitting of a princess.â
âI am not like other princesses.â
Tilting your chin up with two of his thick fingers, you can feel the smile behind Dinâs next words, âNo, you are not. There is no one like you in the galaxy.â
âAnd Iâm yours.â
The helmet, never having been relocked, is lifted again and Din sweeps you into a passionate, hungry kiss, different than the reassuring and devoted kisses of earlier â deeper, greedier.
âGet in the tub, Din,â you murmur against his lips while you can, before you forget your task and give yourself over to him completely.
Chuckling, Din can only acquiesce whenever he hears a direct request from your mouth â he never hears you command him as his sovereign, only ever as his love. No matter â he would obey either way. Stripping off his boxers, helmet still on, Din slips into the steamy water of the deep soaker tub, letting out a heady groan at the way all his muscles relax in reaction to the sudden heat against his rough skin.Â
With a soft footedness that still surprises Din, so used to picking up every little sound with his helmetâs acoustic sensors, you reappear suddenly with a small tray table bearing various Flavian fruits and wine for Din and a thin silk scarf for you.
âI know you didnât eat after the match,â you say matter-of-factly when Din tilts his helmet in question. Neither did you.
âWill you join me, cyarâika?â
âOf course, my love,â you begin to disrobe, perfectly understanding the double meaning of your Generalâs question.
Though heâs seen and worshipped your naked form more times that you can count, thereâs always something about being unable to see the eyes that devour you which makes you shy. Able to detect the rise in temperature of your face, your bashfulness amuses Din to no end â if only you could see his own expression; every time Din sees you bare before him is like the first time, he thinks you might even laugh at the slack jawed, awestruck expression hidden by his helmet â if Mandalorians were to believe in a literal afterlife, then Din could well be deemed a heretic for heâs sure heâs already seen heaven.
Stepping in the tub, careful not to trip over Dinâs strong legs, you settle on your knees in the water near his feet; taking the wash towel from the side of the tub, you lather it up with your own luxurious cleanser, the scent of which you know Din loves and begin to wash his body. With great care and affection, you wash and massage Dinâs feet, calves and thick thighs, the two of you quietly chatting about your individual perspectives on what transpired in the arena today as you move up his body with your loving touch.
Din groans when you wash his groin area, and you smirk and pretend to throw him a look of disapproval even as you stroke his fast-hardening cock with the washcloth.
âCyareâŠâ he strains.
âHmmmm?â Humming, you shimmy to straddle his lap and innocently begin to wash his hard chest and tree trunk arms.
âYouâre teasingâŠâ
âNot at all, Iâm cleaning,â you giggle. Rising onto your knees, you lean over Dinâs mountainous shoulder to clean his back, dangling your wet, supple breasts right at helmet visor level. Definitely teasing.Â
Two can play at this game. Dinâs modulator muffles his snicker as he makes sure youâre entirely engrossed in your task of scrubbing his back, concentrating adorably so that you donât notice when his big paws reach for your chest, groping and kneading the pillowy flesh with hardly any warning.
You squeal and grind down on Dinâs cock - in retaliation he zeros in on your already pert nipples, rough fingers roll and pinch, flick and tug your pretty peaks until you forget your work and bury your face into his shoulder, completely lost to the pleasure that only the General can give you.
âDin,â your voice a soft whimper, needy yet still regal and melodic, â⊠you have toâŠâ
âWhat do I have to do, Princess?â
His teasing tone makes you gush; this man knows exactly what heâs doing â you try to claw back some semblance of control over the situation, âYou need to let me tend to any injuries you may have sustained under your helmet. And let me wash your hair.â
âOh, do I?âÂ
Nodding in earnest with your eyebrows raised, âYes, and then you have to rest. Your body needs it.â
âMy body needs you, meshâla.â
Leaning back, your eyes follow the trail of your fingers as they rake down the smooth skin of Dinâs broad chest, slowing over the various long-healed scars whose tales of origin you know by heart, you prepare yourself to argue your way. But the truth is, you donât want your way â you need Din, too. Here on Flavin 5, there is no fear of getting caught, no need for hurried kisses or fleeting touches â the two of you have time. Time to enjoy one another. Time to let your hearts run rampant with affection and want.
Tomorrow morning is the last morning you can wake lazily in Dinâs arms, like any other couple waking to just another day in the rest of your lives together. Tomorrow you will return home and your love for your steady warrior will once again need to be tucked away close to your heart, safe from the prying eyes of the kingdom.Â
So, you donât argue.
âInjuries first, General.â
âI have none, Princess.â You can feel Dinâs shit eating grin radiating from behind the beskar.
Grinding down a little on Dinâs hardening length as a warning, âI should like to see for myself, thanks.â
âOf course, meshâla. I would see you satisfied.â Though still smirking, itâs with enormous feeling that Din picks up the scarf from the side table and with his practiced hand, covers your eyes; wrapping the silk around your head twice before tying it securely. He doesnât ask you if you can see, knowing that if you could you would volunteer it. Sitting prettily with your hands clasped together, you wait for the welcomed sound of Dinâs helmet being lifted and set down where you scarf previously lay.
Heart full, your hands reach out to gently touch Dinâs face, fingers tracing over the most intimate part of the man you love. His jaw relaxes as you stroke though his facial hair and his plush lips curl as your thumb brushes over them. Dinâs strong nose feels unbroken, thank goodness â your gentle kiss to the tip earns you a breathy chuckle that tickles your throat. Mapping the strong lines of his forehead, you discover your first wound at Dinâs hairline â the soft curls of his brown (or so youâre told) hair already matted and sticking with dried blood. When your fingers caress Dinâs temple, you find a small superficial cut by his left eye, and your heart tightens further upon feeling a nastier slice on the apple of his cheek. Even without seeing and Din giving away no hint of tenderness at your touch, youâre sure there are bruises starting to form on the face you love.
Though youâve never seen it, you know Dinâs face â positive that you could pick it out of a crowd as surely as you could your own in a mirror. Itâs the face of the strongest warrior youâve ever known, one whose honour and integrity is as unbreakable as the beskar armour that covers his body. A protector who fights without fail to defend the weak, uphold justice, and push back against tyranny and corruption â no matter how hard something may be or the risk to his own self, the man who bears this face will never back down, always standing up for whatâs right. Itâs the face of a man who loves fiercely â loves his Creed, his people, his duty, his son, his woman. You. You know the face of this man, the man who owns your heart, your body, your soul - wholly and completely.
You wash this face, carefully cleaning your discoveries. Then, before you wash his hair, you cradle Dinâs head delicately and check for bumps and scrapes, sighing in relief when you find none. Lathering up a generous amount of your shampoo, you distribute it through Dinâs curls, massaging his scalp as he groans in approval. Your smile at the sound could melt even the steeliest warriorâs heart, Din is sure â it melts his.
When his hair is rinsed and face pat dry, salve applied to his wounds, you attempt to get Din to eat from the food on the tray.
âAfter, Princess,â Dinâs voice somehow lower than when itâs filtered through his modulator.
âAfter what?â you pretend to be confused.
âAfter I have what Iâm truly hungry for,â you can feel the sides of his face lift beneath your hands as the curve of his mouth pulls up into a wicked grin.
You flash him what you think is a mirroring smirk, âAnd what is that, General?â
Din takes an excruciating long time trailing his fingers featherlike down the column of your throat as an answer. His massive hand skate over your naked breasts, pinky pretending to be caught on your pert nipple before catching up with its brethren that have moved on to tickling your soft tummy. When his hand finally dips below the water, itâs no more hurried, no less teasing â knuckling down the front of you, his hand so big and wide, his thumb and baby finger stretch to slowly stroke along the apex of your thighs at the same time with no additional effort at all. You quiver at your warriorâs languid and gentle touch â that these same hands are trained for weapons and brutality is not lost on you; how lucky are you to be able to feel them as they are now, so close to where you need them, reverent and worshipful. Hands meant for building up and protecting, instead of tearing down and destroying - and yet you know them capable of both - and moreover, that they can and will do both to you.Â
Leaning forward to press your lips tenderly to Dinâs, you whisper, âPromise youâll eat after?â
He knows the condition of the ask is empty - you need him as much as he does you, both of you hungry for more than the food your empty stomachs growl for. The worry you felt for your Mandalorian every second he was in the arena today has morphed into a blazing desire now that you have him secure once again in your loving arms; even when he was facing blaster fire or the murderous glare of a mudhorn today, Dinâs thoughts never strayed far from the moment he could return to your warm embrace.
But he plays along, because he knows you need to hear it, âI promise, cyare.â And then, because your well being is always as much on the forefront of his mind as his is yours, Din adds, âAs long as you eat with me.â
âPromise. Now touch me please, Din,â youâre trembling, not just from want but need, a need for the reassurance that heâs here safe, that the violence you saw in the arena did not touch him.
Even if he had not pledged his fealty to your kingdom, Din would submit to your request, to you â if it were up to him, he would spend the remainder of his days catering to your every whim, carrying out your will, doing anything and everything necessary to ensure your happiness.
He parts your folds with his fingers, finding you slick and ready for him. As Din glides his thick digits along your seam, your soft moans fill the steamy room, âOhhh Din, yes right there, please.â
âSuch a polite little princess, isnât she?â hums Din, loving how responsive you always are for him. He kisses down your neck, nipping at your shoulder as you come to a rest against his chest. Youâre shuddering from the way heâs stroking your pussy, swirling infuriatingly at your needy hole but never dipping inside, teasing you with long broad swipes up to your clit.
Pressing his thumb against your already slippery nub, Din takes advantage of your lack of sight and surprises you by dipping his head down to take one of your breasts in his mouth at the same time â you cry out from this sudden double attack, body trying to run.
The old bounty hunter in him activated, Din chuckles and increases the pressure of his hand on your pulsing clit, and with his free hand, he holds you firm by the nape of your neck - face now buried deep in your cleavage, biting and sucking every bit of soft flesh his mouth can find. Rolling your pert nipple between his teeth, he seals his lips over the sensitive peak and murmurs, âI got you, meshâla. Let me make you feel good.â
At his sure words, you immediately relax and willingly giving yourself over to your warrior, sighing in surrender as he worships you with his fingers and his mouth. This is the only time that you allow yourself to be covetous of what is not rightfully yours â Dinâs face you may know without having ever seen, but the lascivious sight of what he looks like when he loses himself in your pleasure remains a mystery. You secretly long to see it â wishing to know how dark his eyes burn, how his lips wet and plump, how his brow might furrow or relax in reaction to your whines and whimpers.Â
If you were his riduur â no. No, you canât let yourself go down that path of longing, it only ends in heartbreak.Â
As if he can sense that your mind has started to wander, Din slips two of his thick fingers deep in your heat and curls them, beckoning you back to him. You fly right back into the moment and to the space of devotion that he holds just for you, gasping for air at the stretch of his welcomed intrusion.
âNeed to get you ready for my cock, cyare,â purrs your Mandalorian, bringing you back fully and binding your heart to his in the here and now.
Nodding almost mindlessly, you crash your mouth to Dinâs. The kiss is desperate, needy for so many reasons â your tongues licking and chasing, dancing to the song of perfect pleasure that strums along the electric current that connects you. Din feverishly conducts the symphony of your body â grand upward motions of his fingers in your cunt send waves of bliss that crescendo through your core; the sweeping of his lips against yours keeps you in tempo with his own urgency; his rolling downward gestures on your clit coils the band below your belly tighter and tighter.
No one can play you like Din can â beneath the beskar armour heâs a master musician, lover. Like the weapons he so deftly wields and handles, your body is an instrument he knows intimately â every shift, slight change or tensing is noted and adjusted for so he can optimize performance, maximize your pleasure. Din knows youâre going to come before you do by the key in which your breath hitches, the cadence of your fluttering walls.
âCome for me, Princess,â he growls, biting down on your plush bottom lip. Now itâs your turn to obey â you come with an arch of your back and a chorus sung to your Generalâs name, Din, Din, Din, Din.
Here you can be as loud for as long as you want and Din can fuck you through your high for as long as you need, withdrawing his fingers and licking them clean only when your cunt is complacent enough to release him, âAlways taste so sweet, cyarâika.â You sigh at the filthy sounds of another forbidden sight you long, lust for.
Lips finding his again, you taste yourself on Dinâs tongue and tease, âI thought we were eating after.â
This time itâs Dinâs turn to act coy, repeating your question from earlier with a knowing smirk against your pout, âAfter what?â
In response, you reach between your bodies and even without the benefit of sight, easily find Dinâs hard, throbbing cock. Stroking his length with your delicate hands, you lift to line him up with your entrance and wordlessly sink down, âAfter you come, General.â
âAs you wish, Princess,â Din groans at the way your pussy hugs him. When you feel him shift beneath you to plant his feet on the bottom of the tub, you stop Din with a hand on his wide chest and shake your head, âYouâre tired and your body needs rest, my love. Let me do the work.â
Big, loving hands come up to cradle your head and a playful but reverent tone accompanies Dinâs protest, âA Generalâs duty is to serve his Princess.â You tilt into his paw and nuzzle; your Mandalorianâs affectionate touch and the feeling of fullness combine in making you compliant. Leaning in close you ghost over Dinâs lips, âTogether then.â
Half awestruck, half groaning in agreement, Din slides his hands back down your soft body to come to a rest on your waist, holding you gentle and secure, âTogether.â
Itâs easy to find the perfect rhythm, your bodies already so in tune with one another. Dinâs slow upward thrusts meet your lighter bounces halfway, causing the water of your bath to ripple and splash against the sides of the tub. Itâs tender and patient until it isnât â with no communication other than your soft whinnying and Dinâs grunts and heavy breathing, your tempo and intensity remain matched, building together.Â
Always together. How you love being together with your Mandalorian. How you love him.
You press yourself to Din, the rise and fall of his chest grounding you as your hips work in tandem with his. Arms snaking around his neck, you cling to the General as your joint movements become more fervent and passionate, the water now choppy from your lovemaking.
Together. Everything is better when youâre together. You were able to get through today, together.
Love, relief and gratitude flood your pleasure wracked body as you crawl up Dinâs broad mountain frame to find his lips. Latching your mouth to your Mandalorianâs, you kiss him heady and desperate. Every press of your plush and swollen pout thankful for his survival, of todayâs fight and of all the fights that came before today so that he could come into your life. A thank you to maybe that same mystical force that gives Grogu his unexplainable powers, for making the man that fills you so full at the moment the warrior, the father, the man is. Thankful that he loves you. For all of him.
Din meets every brush of your lips with the same devotion, somehow able to read the emotion behind your eyes without seeing them - the same way youâre able to read him even when heâs hidden behind his helmet. He himself grateful for bringing his son and your countrymen back to you safe, for being the one to give you what you needed for the success of your mission. A thank you to that same power than runs in his sonâs veins and makes him a warrior far stronger than Din could ever be, for bringing him to you. Grateful that a woman as regal, compassionate, and kind as you saw past his hard armoured exterior to the man beneath and holds him in your esteem. And in your heart.
âNi kar'tayl gar darasuum,â Din growls with a deep rumble of his chest that echoes off the walls. I love you.
âNi kar'tayl gar darasuum,â you cry back in the perfect pronunciation that Din taught you. I love you.
Neither of you able to hold back your love for one another nor the crest of your bodies any longer â coming together, lyrical song sung loud and shameless. The Princess and the General have nothing to hide here, tonight.
Later, after youâve each eaten and drank your fill of Flavian fruits and wine, and youâve massaged and kneaded Dinâs sore muscles until youâre satisfied with the way his aches have melted away, Din guides you, still blindfolded, out of the cooled bath to the bed.
With Din protectively hovering over your naked body ready to take you again, you realize that as thankful as youâve been feeling, you havenât actually acknowledged those sentiments out loud to the man to whom you owe everything, âThank you, Din. Thank you for being the might of the realm.â
Though he knows you cannot see them, Dinâs eyes fill with a love he hopes he can properly convey in other ways, âNo need to thank me, cyarâika, it will always be my honour to fight for you. You must know - you are the might of the realm. The realm prospers and remains strong because its Princess is brave, smart, good. Youâre everything, meshâla. Youâre my might â I can only do the things I can because I do them for you. I would do anything for you.â
You feel the scarf you wear across your eyes dampen as it absorbs your tears, âI know, Din.â Happy, content, you welcome your General between your legs once more; and with the rare luxury of time and freedom that the two of you have been gifted tonight, you know it wonât be the last time.
The action! The drama! The passion đ©¶đ©¶đ©¶ I loved Kiss it Better so much and now the continuation of this story is making me giddy.
PEDRO PASCAL The Puppy Interview
PEDRO PASCAL The Puppy Interview | Buzzfeed
PEDRO PASCAL asking for a kiss to Stephen Colbert in the Late Show
That's What You Get for Waking Up in Vegas (Complete)
summary: Having just lost your job you agree to a trip to Las Vegas with your best friend, her boyfriend and his grumpy brother. How you end up with a ring on your finger and a marriage certificate you have no recollection of signing is beyond you.
Or, a What Happens in Vegas AU.
rating: 18+, MDNI
tags: Accidental Marriage, Forced Proximity, Eventual Smut, Drinking and Alcohol, Age Gap (reader is 30-ish and Joel is however old you want him to be really but I wrote him as mid 50s <3), Grumpy Joel, Romance, Miscommunication, Enemies to Lovers vibes (sort of)
a/n: i've been thinking about this fic for a while now and have an outline for all 3 parts. i have a good chunk of part 1 done and hope to have it up by the end of this week. i also don't usually make a fic post before posting the fic but really wanted a post to organize the chapters because i hate how i've organized my other multi-part fics. if you'd like to be tagged, feel free to let me know <3
Part 1 - Read here! (Posted April 10th)
Part 2 - Read here! (Posted April 18th)
Part 3 - Read here! (Posted April 25th)
Part 4 - Read here! (Posted May 7th)
Choice
Chapter Five // Choice Masterlist
Your relationship with Joel grows more serious. A previous one of yours resurfaces.
Jackson!Joel Miller x Pregnant!Reader
Word count: 3,836
Content warnings: pregnancy, smut, mentions of murder/death, mentions of violence against women but nothing happens
Author's note: If you want to be added to the taglist for "Choice", just leave a comment asking! Enjoy!
â
After alerting the rest of the town council of the situation, Tommy walks Maria back to their place, then heads over to yours to talk to Joel.
Joel leaves you safe and comfortable in bed when he opens the door for his brother.
âItâs a guy who registered here as Daryl,â Tommy says, not wasting any time as he walks through the door. âWe talked to him. Didnât deny sayinâ that shit, said Jackson citizens oughta know who theyâre lettinâ inside the walls. Maria asked him how a woman fatigued from the first trimester would be able to overpower an entire family. He said âhormones.â And just as we were leavinâ, Maria called him Danny, not Daryl, and he didnât flinch.â
Joelâs seething again. He wants to knock on doors until he finds Dannyâs house and beat him bloody.
âHow the fuck did I not know there was such a shitty lie about her?â Joel grumbles to himself, feeling defeated that he wasn't able to protect you from the repercussions of this cruel lie.
Tommy shrugs. âI mean, youâre not the most approachable in general, Joel,â he murmurs, scratching the back of his neck to distract himself from how uncomfortable this situation is. âWhat are the odds anyone gossips with you?â
Joel shrugs too. Heâs not the most approachable, so people don't often gossip with him.Â
Fine.
But Danny lied about you and got the whole town to turn against you, ironically isolating you in this otherwise tight-knit and welcoming community.
He has a problem with that.
âSo what the fuck do we do?â Joel asks, trying not to get too loud.
âThereâs gotta be a trial. Council agrees we donât let people who kill kids in here.â
Joel nods. It makes him sick. Joel and Tommy were once really terrible people, killing anything and anyone in their way, but they drew the line at kids. They could never stomach seeing another dead child in front of them.
âWhenâs the trial gonna be?â he asks.
Tommy sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. âThatâs the problem. Your girlâs havinâ this baby by the end of the month, if her calculations are right. But if she goes into labor in the next two weeks due to stress, the babyâll be too early. Maria doesnât wanna stress her out, so she wants to hold the trial sometime in February after sheâs recovered from the birth.â
Joel groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. âWhat, sheâs supposed to go the rest of her pregnancy livinâ in fear, feelinâ rejected from everyone?â
Tommy sighs again and drops his shoulders. âJesus, fuck. I donât know. I mean, he hasnât done anythinâ yet, but after today, I guess heâs more unpredictable. We can excuse you from working until she has the baby, so you can keep an eye on her. Howâs that?â
âWould that cut into my paternity leave?â Joel asks softly, a little anxious.
Tommy shakes his head. âNo. Absolutely not.â
Joel nods and lets out a shaky breath. âOkay. But seriously, put someone on him, too. Donât want him near her. I swear, Iâll kill him.â
Tommy nods. He knows Joel isnât joking.
âGot it. Alright, good night. Give her my love.â
Joel nods. âYeah. Also, will you check on Ellie? I just did an hour ago, butâŠâ
Tommy nods again, then leaves, shutting the door behind him.
With that, Joel turns off all the lights downstairs, then heads up to the bedroom, where youâre curled up, reading a book on labor and delivery.
Joel gently pries the book out of your hands as he kneels in front of you on the floor.
âYouâre safe, baby,â he whispers. âTommyâs givinâ me extra paternity leave startinâ right now. I ainât gonna leave your side for a second, I swear.â
You nod and reach your hand out from under the covers, gently stroking Joelâs hair.
âCan I ask you somethinâ?â he asks softly.
âMhm.â
âWhat if you moved in with me? Wouldnât have to be forever, but Tommy and I can take the crib back to my place, and Iâll take all your clothes and stuff over to my place. Just until everythingâs cleared up. I wanna keep an eye on you and Ellie, and I donât wanna ask her to move here.â
âOkay,â you murmur softly, much to Joelâs surprise. He thought that at this stage of your pregnancy, you wouldnât want to move. And heâd make it work for you and Ellie, but itâd be hard on him.
Joel nods. âOkay. Weâll do it tomorrow.â
You smile softly, tiredly. âAm I gonna have an eviction notice?â
He shakes his head, smiling back at you. âNo. You stay as long as you want. Maybe even forever; although, I gotta check with Ellie.â
Thereâs a soft beat of silence as you take in Joelâs plan.
Then:
âI love you,â you whisper. And it sounds abrupt, but it doesnât feel that way to either of you.
Joelâs heart starts pounding in his chest. For a moment, he doesnât say anything. Then, he says it back.
âI love you, too.â
You give him a watery smile and gently pull him closer to you, your lips meeting in a soft, gentle kiss.
âI love you, and I love our baby,â you mumble against his lips.
Joel whines. Youâve implied it a few times, but youâve never said âourâ, never explicitly given Joel the verbal connection to the baby. He stands from his knees and kicks his boots off, then crawls up the bed, hovering over you.
âThatâs right. Thatâs our baby in there. Mine and yours,â he says, almost growling.
His words and tone of voice send a shiver up your spine.
As he starts kissing your neck, you push the covers down, desperately trying to get closer.
âI need you,â you whimper, your hands buried in Joelâs hair as he kisses beneath your jaw.
âBaby,â he moans, pulling back to look at you. âYou sure? I donât wanna hurt you.â
âMhm, Iâm sure. Please. Wanna know what you feel like, Joel.â
Youâre desperate beneath Joel, and heâs trying not to let it go to his head. Youâre emotional and hormonal. Then again, you just said you love him, so maybe he really is worth all this.
He nods and goes for his belt, and you pull off your sweatshirt, revealing your swollen breasts.
Joel groans, and the sound is so deep, itâs almost lewd.
âJesus, honey,â he whines, going for the button on his jeans. âI donât wanna sound like a jerk, but your tits⊠God, baby, theyâre perfect.â
You grin, ever receptive to his praise. Joel shucks his jeans and boxers off, revealing his completely hard cock, the tip red and dripping pre-cum.
You pull your sweatpants down, revealing your swollen, needy cunt.
âThat,â he says, fingers grazing your swollen labia, âis a work of art if I ever saw one.â
Joel kisses your lips, then kisses all the way down your body, kissing each sensitive nipple, smothering your bump in kisses, then finally giving your clit a peck.
âJesus, youâre so wet,â he mumbles.
âNeed you,â you moan, hips bucking up into his face. âNow. Please.â
âBaby, I donât wanna hurt you.â
You shake your head. âYou wonât. Iâm throbbing. Please, Joel,â you beg, whining.
Joel sighs and kisses your cunt one more time before straightening up. He grabs a pillow and shoves it under your hips. He takes your legs and drapes them over either of his thighs.Â
âTell me if you get uncomfortable, baby. Promise.â
You nod. âI promise.â
With that, Joel lines himself up with your already weeping cunt and carefully sinks in, inch by inch.
Youâre both panting, getting accustomed to what this feels like together for the first time.
âYouâre so full of me,â Joel says, rubbing your belly.Â
You moan and nod. It takes you a moment to realize heâs talking about your cunt being full of his cock, not your womb being full of his baby, but it doesnât put a damper on your mood for long, because you can feel him deep inside, the tip brushing against your cervix.
âYouâre so big,â you moan, out of breath from simply having him inside of you. âItâs so good.â
âCan I move?â he asks, his voice raspy.
You nod, and Joel sets a moderate pace, but itâs clear neither of you will last very long.
âJesus, this is better than I thought, Joel,â you moan, head arching back.
âYeah? You thought about this?â
âObviously,â you chuckle breathlessly.
Joel smirks and keeps rolling his hips into yours, gently but consistently thrusting. âIâm gonna keep you happy, yâknow that? Fed, bathed, clothed, and fucked, darlinâ. Youâre gonna want for nothinâ. I swear.â
You moan again and clench around him. âMhm. I know. Gonna be spoiled rotten.â
âDamn right, baby.â
His thrusts are getting erratic. One hand is on your right breast, the thumb swirling your nipple, the other thumb rubbing your clit.
âWanna see you come for me, baby. Show me how good Iâm makinâ you feel.â
Joelâs thrusts pick up, and his hands grow more desperate. With a choked whimper, you throw your head back and clamp down hard on Joelâs cock, triggering his own orgasm.
He fucks you both through it until he canât anymore. He sits there, on his haunches, his hands gently stroking the tops of your thighs.
âI love you so much,â he says again, breathless, his chest rapidly rising and falling.
âI love you, too,â you whisper.
Joel gently pulls out of you, then pads into the bathroom for a washcloth. He comes back and carefully starts cleaning you up, then himself. He tosses the washcloth into your laundry hamper, then crawls into bed next to you.
He kisses your temple, then leans down, kissing your belly.
âLove you, baby,â he whispers.
You almost cry, but Joel kisses you again before you can.
âGet some rest, baby.â
//
The next day, Joel heads back to his house. He finds Ellie in the living room and offers to make breakfast. He stands behind the island as she sits and eats.
âKiddo, I gotta talk to you about somethinâ,â he says when sheâs halfway through her meal.
âThis about your girlfriend?â she asks teasingly.
Joel rolls his eyes, but canât hide his smile.
âListen, I know Tommy filled you in last night, so Iâm not gonna say anythinâ else. I just need to know how youâd feel ifâŠshe moved in with us?â
Ellie puts her fork down and shrugs. âI donât know. I mean, I guess youâre whipped and everything now, huh?â
Joel rolls his eyes again and leans his palms on the counter. âI guess thatâs one way to say it.â
âI think sheâs alright. I donât want anything bad to happen to her or her baby.â
Joel raises his eyebrows hopefully. âSo youâre okay?â
Ellie nods.
Joel sighs in relief. âOh, thank you, kiddo. Youâre amazinâ, yâknow that?â
Ellie nods again, smirking this time as she picks her fork back up.
âJust donât fuck her too loud when Iâm home,â she says before bringing her fork to her mouth.
Joel goes red in the face, and with a mumbled âSure thing,â he leaves the kitchen.
Later that afternoon, Tommy and Joel haul the crib from your house back to his, setting it in Joelâs room even though thereâs a third bedroom. You just mentioned wanting the baby closer, and Joel doesnât mind moving it a third time if you decide you want the baby in their own room.
Joel hauls the rest of your stuff back himself. He doesnât let you carry a thing. He makes you lie down in his bed while he goes back and forth between houses for the next hour.
Finally, he drops the last load of things you cared to bring to Joelâs house on top of the dresser to deal with later, then he gets this look on his face that says he just remembered something.
âJoel?â
He doesnât answer right away. He heads into his closet, then comes back with two bras in his hands. From the look of them, you have the feeling they might actually fit you, or at least better than your current bras do.
Joel noticed the indents on your skin every time he took your bra off, and he made a mental note to look for bigger bras while on patrol. They may not be perfect, but they should hopefully be a step up in terms of comfort.
âJoelâŠâ
You gasp when he hands you the bras and look up at him with wonder in your eyes.
âYou can try âem on later. I just kept forgettinâ to give âem to you, and now youâre here, and I just remembered, andââ
âThank you,â you say, smiling so big that Joelâs worried your cheeks might start to hurt.
He leans down and gives you a kiss, then takes the bras and puts them in your side of the dresser, then finally plops down on the bed next to you.Â
Lying on his stomach, with his head facing you and his hand atop the highest point of your belly.
âThank you for moving me in here,â you murmur softly. âMeans a lot.â
Joel mumbles something, his eyes shutting. Heâs tired, and he looks so cute.
âI love you,â you whisper.
You swear you hear him mumble it back, and then his breathing gets deeper. You shut your eyes, too, content to just nap.
//
A week later, after seven days of pure domestic bliss, including setting up a nursery in the third bedroom, cooking for more than just yourself, and truly nesting, Joel gets pulled away.
Tommy doesnât want to have to pull Joel away from you during this time, but the hospital roof is falling apart on the opposite side this time.
You insist itâs okay, that youâll stay inside, safe and sound.Â
Joel promises itâll only take a week and that heâll be back in time for dinner with you and Ellie every night.
Halfway through the week, youâre sick of cooking. Your back also aches from all the lying down you've been doing lately, so you decide to take a walk to the cafĂ© for a scone.
You sit down at one of the far tables, content to be around people, even if they think youâre a terrible person. Halfway through your snack, someone sits down in front of you. You move your gaze from people watching out the window to the man sitting in front of you: Danny.
Your heart stops beating for a moment, and your hands start shaking.
âHey, little bird,â he coos, and heâs so sinister, you think you might throw up. âDidnât think Iâd find you, did you?â
You donât say anything, so he keeps talking.
âTo your credit, it actually did take me a while. In fact, I didnât find you until the day Maria found you. I kept my distance, didnât wanna screw things up for me. Then she and her group found you, took you in. It was so easy. I knew I could get them to do the same for me.â
He rolls his sleeve back and reveals a jagged scar. Itâs deep and ugly, barely healed. It only adds to your nausea.Â
âYeah, I did that,â he whispers, taking pleasure in your discomfort. âDragged my forearm across a log, wandered just close enough to the gates so that theyâd find me, but make them think I just happened to be nearby. Smart, huh?â
Danny chuckles and pulls his sleeve back down.
âAnyway, I gave them a fake name, just in case youâd hear about me coming into town. Didnât wanna set off any alarms before I made my move. See, I found the pregnancy test on the floor the morning you left. What kinda mother are you that youâd deny our baby the right to know their father?â he asks, disgust in his face and his tone.
âThey know their father,â you say, your voice small and unconfident.
Danny scoffs. âWhat, Joel? Please. The guy probably just has a fetish. Youâre gonna be kicked to the curb once he canât fuck you because youre âhealing and recoveringâ,â he snorts, rolling his eyes.
âNow, when you have that baby, I'd better know. Better yet, I wanna be in the room. Iâm taking whatâs mine. Youâll just be a glorified wet nurse,â he threatens, his voice low.
If only you had known how dangerous Danny was the day you met him. You quickly learned, but not quickly enough.
âYouâre a terrible person, and an unfit mother," he continues. âThatâs why I switched that tragic jerky incident on you. People wouldnât sympathize with me if they knew the truth. I had to turn them against you. That baby in your belly is mine, not yours and certainly not Joelâs, no matter how many times he kisses your belly.â
He stands and straightens his jacket collar, then leans down and whispers in your ear, âTell anyone about this, and Iâll cut that baby outta you.â
And then heâs gone, leaving you shaking in your seat.
You stand up as calmly as you can and toss your scone in the garbage. You make your way home as quickly as you can, tears silently streaming down your face.
When you finally cross the threshold of the front door, you slump to the floor, your back to the door. You bury your face in your hands, and your body is wracked with sobs.
You believe Danny. You believe that if you say anything to anyone, heâll cut your baby out of you. Youâve never felt more sick in your life. All you want is for Joel to come home and never leave you by yourself again.
Once the pain in your back from sitting on the floor is too much, you maneuver yourself into a standing position and head up the stairs. You strip your clothes and start a bath. Once inside, the warm water eases your physical pain.
The bathtub is really nice, nicer than the one in your old house. Itâs free-standing and really spacious. It might be a nice option for either labor or delivery when the time comes.
You sit there in the tub until the water is tepid, but still you donât get out. Your entire body is swallowed by the water, and youâre comfortable. You feel as if you leave this bathtub, something bad might happen.
Youâre stuck in your trance until Joel knocks on the bathroom door.
âBaby? Can I come in?â
âYeah,â you call out, your voice hoarse from how long youâve been sitting here silently.
Joel comes in and crouches in front of the tub. âHi, honey. Doinâ okay?â
You shrug, and the water ripples with your movement.
âIâm about to make dinner. Gonna make a bunch of grilled cheeses,â he says softly, reaching out to stroke your cheek with the back of his hand.
âSounds good,â you whisper.
âYou need to talk about anythinâ?â
You look at Joel and sigh. Here he is: sweet, caring Joel. Danny canât be right. Joel isnât interested in you because youâre pregnant. He loves you, the person.
âIâm okay.â
You can tell Joel doesnât really believe it, but doesnât want to push just yet.
âYou want me to bring your dinner in here, or do you want help gettinâ out?â he asks softly, his hand gently cradling the back of your neck.
âI guess I should get out,â you reply.
Joel stands up straight and holds his hand out. He helps you stand, then wraps a towel around you.
He reaches his hand inside the deep tub and drains the water.
Once youâve dried yourself off, Joel reaches for all the homemade skincare. Maria gave you the recipe for the body butter she made when she was pregnant, meant to help ease your stretching skin, and inadvertently minimizes the appearance of any stretch marks.
Joel takes a glob from the jar and starts rubbing it on your belly, careful not to press down too hard, but making sure itâs completely rubbed into your skin for the best effect.
He puts more on your hips, then rubs it into your thighs and your lower legs as he leans down. He stands back up and massages the butter into your back, then your breasts. He takes care not to do it in a sexual way; heâs trying to help you with skincare, not cop a feel, even if itâs happening incidentally. He finishes by rubbing it into your arms, then dragging it over your hands, squeezing as he lets go.
He gently places his hands on your hips and presses a kiss to your temple.
âMissed you and the little one today,â he murmurs against your skin.
âWe missed you, too,â you mumble in response.
Joel leads you back into the bedroom, where he pulls out his sweatpants and a hoodie that says âMontanaâ on it. Probably a college sweatshirt he found on one of his travels.Â
âWanna lie in bed or come to the kitchen with us?â he asks softly once you have the clothes on.
âYeah, Iâll join you guys. Sorry, I just felt funny this afternoon.â
Joel shakes his head. âDonât apologize.â
Down in the kitchen, you sit next to Ellie on the barstools behind the island while Joel cooks. Ellie tells you both about her day, telling story after story. You pipe in sometimes, but your mindâs too cloudy to really be an active participant in the conversation.
âBaby kicking a lot today or something?â Ellie asks as Joel finishes with dinner.Â
âHm?â
âYouâre just not talking as much as you usually do. Just want to make sure everything is okay,â she says, her brow furrowed just a bit out of concern.
âOh, uh, I guess. Just having an off day, I suppose.â
Ellie shrugs. âTomorrow will be better.â
After dinner and a guitar lesson for Joel and Ellie, the three of you head to bed. You wait in bed for Joel while he showers, desperately needing him as close as possible tonight.
When he finally crawls into bed with you, you shuffle closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder and your belly on his waist. His hands go to cradle your waist and rest on your belly. He kisses your forehead and sighs, completely content here with you, even though your mind is going a million miles a minute.
âYouâd tell me if somethinâ was wrong, right?â Joel inquires, his voice giving away how tired he is.
âMhm.â
âGood. Just havinâ an off day, then?â
âGuess so.â
âYouâll feel better tomorrow. I love you, darlinâ.â
âLove you, too.â
Joel falls asleep easily, tired from all the physical labor.Â
Itâs not so easy for you. Sleep doesnât take mercy on you until youâve spent hours imagining every way Danny might get the jump on you.Â
â
taglist: @allymillersblog @saralovesjoelmiller @svrgs-blog @mabelmiller @spectralgalaxygauntlet @classybroad2 @wildthyng @somedayheaven @harryscherrysugar @bibimysoul @m-the-mermaid @urtoslowijumpwalls777 @ivoryandflame @d4magedgal @kateg88 @mile3na
Use me (Gorgeous Nightmare drabble)
Series masterlist / Masterlist / Buy me a coffee
Content warning:Â part of the Gorgeous Nightmare universe, smut, pure smut, pinv, oral (both), unprotected sex, creampie, sub!javi.
Prompt:Â You and Javi take a day off from work, but everything he wants is to be dominated by you.
Word count:Â 1,9K
âNo way, Rosa MarĂa is letting Leonardo leave like that!â you scream at the television, and Javier cracks up.
You and Javier had spent the whole day at home, the first day off youâve gotten in a long time. The best decision was to stay watching telenovelas and eating whatever you want. You raise your head to face him, poking your tongue against your cheek.
âDonât you think?â you ask.
âWhat?â he raises his eyebrow.
âThat she shouldnât let Leo go! He is the love of her life!â you are actually sounding like his defense lawyer.
âHe fucked upâ he shrugs âMaybe he has to lose her to actually stop taking her for granted.â
âOoooh, Javier Peña, who wouldâve thought youâd be the one to say something like that?â you giggle.
âWhy?â
âBecause youâre supposed to be an asshole and a womanizerâ you bite your lip.
âOh, was I?â his hand slides through the couch, reaching your calves. âLike, a very dirty womanizer?â he narrows his eyes with that stupid smirk.
âYesâŠâ he traces a line up your skin, and you bite your lips to hold a smile.
âCan I be your asshole?â Javier says it like a prayer, propping himself on his elbow, biting his lower lip, getting really close to you.
âIf you want to beâ you wink.
âThen come hereâ he sits again and watches as you drape one of your legs on his thigh and hop onto his lap, straddling, slowly biting your lower lip.
Your lips meet ferociously, it is heated, tongues playing around with each other. His fingers thread through your hair, pulling you even closer, something you thought was impossible. The movements of your lips are completely disorganized, and you continue to rock your hips, making Javier groan into your mouth, his cock getting hard.
He walks with you, tangled up with him the whole way to your bedroom, your mouths connected, tongues teasingly sliding and teeth grazing lips, pulling and letting go. Before he places you gently on the bed, he pulls back and looks into your eyes for a moment, only for his lips to find yours again - this time slowly. Javiâs hand fists your hair, pulling it back to have access to your neck, kissing and nibbling.
âI want to be your assholeâ he mutters, voice muffled by your skin âMake me yours, use me.â
âOkay, thenâ you smirk with the corner of your mouth âOn your knees, agent Peñaâ you command, voice filled with authority.
Javier doesnât hesitate. Slowly, he drops to his knees, gaze locked to yours, your pulse races. Youâve never done this with him before, but now it looks so delicious and exciting that you question why you havenât done this before.
âYouâre a good man, agent Peñaâ you murmur, fingers threading through his thick, dark hair, tugging just hard enough to tilt his head back.
Leaning down, you capture his lips in a possessive kiss, your tongue invading his mouth as you claim every inch of him. Javier surrenders himself, groaning low.
âI have a better ideaâ you smile wickedly âLay on the bed, take your shirt off.â
âOkayâ he hesitates now, surprised.
But Javier obeys, he asked for it, and he wants this. You walk to your hidden bag, the one that youâre only supposed to use in emergencies, getting what you need. When you turn to him, his broad chest is bare, rising and falling with quick breaths.
âHands up, pretty boyâ you order, voice sharp.
Javier raises his wrists up to the headboard. You show him the handcuffs, licking and biting your lips. You hop on his lap again, straddling him before guiding his left arm through the gap of the headboard, the right one on the outside. The steel clicks shut around his wrists. He is secured firmly; he even tugs once, testing, but the restraint holds.
Your hands trail down his chest, nails scraping his soft, tanned skin. He arches slightly at your touch. Javiâs jeans are almost ripping from his growing cock, your mouth waters - God, how you love this man. His body is a view under you, now under your control.
âLook at you, agentâ your finger trails down his sternum, and you see his hairs standing up âAll mine to use.â
Javier nods, swallowing hard, his Adamâs apple bobbing. You can feel his heartbeat racing under your palm.
âYes, princesaâ he rasps.
First, you straddle his chest, your nightgown hiking up, exposing your thighs, the heat and weight of your body pressing him into the sheets. You slide down, stopping at his erection, leaning down to kiss him; the kiss is bruising, rough, teeth nipping his lower lip until he gasps. You pull back, sliding upwards now, until your knees bracket his head.
âI want you to eat me out, agent Javier Peñaâ you demand âMake me cum on your tongue.â
You donât let him answer, lowering yourself onto his face, panties still on, but already soaked. You grind your pussy against his open mouth. Javier inhales sharply, nose buried in the damp fabric, taking in every bit of your scent, his tongue pressing up, licking you through your panty. You yank it aside, exposing your wet folds directly to him.
Not wasting time, Javier opens his mouth eagerly, sealing his lips around your clit with desperate pulls that make you arch your back. You rock forward, smothering him, your hands gripping the headboard to ground yourself, his tongue working you well, diving inside you, thrusting deep and finding your spot. He growls into your pussy, his cock throbbing desperately. He tries to reach your hips, but the cuffs restrain him.
Your hips rock harder, you are chasing your orgasm, juices already coating his chin, cheeks, and nose as he licks you, nibbling your clit hungrily. His nose rubs against your clit with every roll of your hips.
âFu-fuck, pretty boyâ you groan âJust like that, you are so good.â
Your thighs quiver as the orgasm builds, he senses it, so his tongue doesnât stop, it flickers relentlessly. Your body shudders when you come, waves of pleasure crashing over you hard. You ride his face through it, until you are spent.
You slide down his body, eyes capturing his swollen, glistening lips, then they roam his delicious body, finding the bulge in his jeans.
âYou did great, pretty boyâ you praise as you find the hem of his sweatpants, lowering them slowly and teasing.
His cock springs free as you shove his pants and boxers down to his knees. He is thick and leaking pre-cum for you, throbbing, begging for your attention. You make Javier wait, trailing kisses along his abdomen, pelvic bone, and hips, nipping the skin until he gasps. Javi has the instinct to try and grip your hair, but the cuffs are holding him firmly.
âPlease, princesaâ he begs.
You ignore him, wrapping your hand around the base, squeezing it before leaning in to him. Your lips part, tongue sticking out, and you tap your tongue against his cock, smirking as you do so, lips wrapping softly around his tip, licking teasingly around it. Slowly, your mouth slides down, tongue swirling as you do so.
Javi bucks, but the cuffs hold him back. That makes you suck even harder, your cheeks hollow as you go down further, inch by inch, until he hits the back of your throat, making you gag. Deliberately, you let your saliva drip down along his length as you bob your head, hand stroking what you canât reach.
âFu-fuck, princesaâ he groans as his hips jerk âGod, please-fuck-donât stopâ
His thigh tenses under your touch. Knowing him too well, you control your pace, slowing down, then getting faster. Javier is panting. You pull off with a pop once you feel he is reaching the edge, his cock all slick and twitching.
âNo wayâ you mutter, smirking âNot yetâ
You shed your nightgown and panties completely now. Only by looking at your man lying in bed, naked and ready, cuffed to the bed, you bite your lip as a shiver runs through your whole body. Straddling his hips, you position yourself over his big erection, only the head poking at your entrance.
âYou want my pussy, agent Javier Peña?â you ask, sinking just so the tip enters you
âYes, princesa- fuck me- I-Iâ he nods frantically, stuttering âI need youâ
âBegâ you smirk
âPlease, princesa. I beg youâ he pleads âGive me all of you, make me your toy. Just fuck meâ
With a satisfied grin, you drop down fully, his thick cock stretching you, filling you to the hilt. You both gasp at the sensation. There is a moment for you to get used to him inside of you before you start to ride him slowly, rolling your hips back and forth in deep circles. Clit grinding against his pelvic bone, sending sparks through your whole body.
Javierâs eyes roam your body, stopping at where you both are joined, watching as you go up and down, making his cock disappear into you over and over. He wants to touch you, cup your delicious breasts, grip your hips to make you go faster, but the handcuffs limit him. Not giving up on being part of the moment, he thrusts up as best as he can, meeting you with deep slams. You lean forward, holding onto his chest, nails digging into his skin as you bounce hard, picking up the pace, the bed creaking under the force.
âSo fucking good, pretty boyâ you gasp, breasts bouncing âSo bigâ
âKiss me, please, I beg youâ his face is a mask of pleasure, sweat dripping from his forehead, groaning
You lean towards him, lips meeting, his tongue doesnât wait, invading your mouth with desperation. He wants to thrust into you as you lean, you pull back the kiss when you notice his breath ragged.
âIâm gonna-â he pants
âCum now, fill me up, pretty boyâ you whisper into his ear, teeth grazing his earlobe, sucking it softly
âFuck!â he screams out, with your name leaving in a growl
You continue bouncing as he groans, wanting to milk him dry. The feeling of him coming inside of you, his hot cum, the pulse of his cock, and his shallow thrusts push you to the edge, your pussy spasming around him as you continue to ride. Only stopping when he begs you to stop from the oversensitivity.
For a few minutes, you stay sitting on him, looking into his eyes. He tries to capture your lips, failing. And only when his cock starts to soften inside of you, you collapse onto him, panting, head on his chest, kissing up to his neck and jaw. The room smells of sex and sweat.
âPlease, let me touch you, princessâ he mutters, low You laugh, getting the keys by the bedside table. You get on all fours to reach up and uncuff him, rubbing and kissing the red marks on his wristsâ skin. Heâll probably be bruised. Javier doesnât care, he grips your waist and pulls you flush to him, kissing your shoulders, then your neck, making you giggle with his mustache scratching your skin.
âYouâre everything, princesaâ he bites your jaw âIâm all yours, alwaysâ
âAnd Iâm yours, pretty boy.â
When you lie down by his side, Javier stands on his knees, touching your whole body, hands roaming slowly over every inch of you. Now he is free, he touches your pussy, one of his fingers entering you to mess with the mix of your releases. That was all he wanted, to touch you, to feel you with his hands.
âCome here, agentâ you call him, and he lies by your side. You take his finger and suck it, tasting you both.
"You're so perfect" he pulls you into a deep kiss "I'll never be dumb as Leo" he smiles
"And I'll never let you go, like Rosa" you kiss him
Taglist @dingroguispunk @angel-scarlett-002 Â @pedrofan
Let You Feel It All
Summary: You and Joel want to do things differently, and take things nice and slow.
Warnings: explicit content, 18+ only, mdni, mature themes, unprotected sex, p in v, nipple play, established relationship, soft Joel, orgasm, praise kink, dirty talk.
Word count: 1.4k
Authors note: hello everyone! Tag list is open for Pedro so donât hesitate to ask, and my inbox is always open so feel free to message me! Reblogs and comments on my fics are always encouraged and highly appreciated! Thanks everyone for your continued support. Enjoy the viewâïž
Tag list for Pedro: @meetmeatyourworst @lilacs97 @dreamedaboutitinthedark
The Clouds
"C'mere, baby." He murmurs his voice like gravel, as you listen to the soft patter of raindrops on the roof. "Nice and slow just like we said."
You nod once throat tight with anticipation more than nerve as you crawl forward on your knees. The sheets drag softly against your shins. When you're close enough, you brace one hand on his shoulder, the other on his chest, feeling the steady thud of his heart beneath coarse salt and pepper hair. He was always so warm.
He helps you swing one leg over his hips without ever breaking eye contact. The blunt head of him nudges your inner thigh first, then higher, painting a slow, wet line along your folds as you hover. You're soaked already and have been since he spent fifteen minutes between your legs on his back, beard scraping the insides of your thighs while his tongue worked lazy circles around your clit until you were shaking and begging into the pillow.
Joel's left hand slides up to cradle the back of your neck, thumb brushing the sensitive skin just below your ear. His touch was so intoxicating you felt like you couldnât live without it.
"Easy.â He instructs you softly. "No rush baby let me feel you open up for me."
You exhale with a slight tremble and begin to sink. The stretch is immediate and exquisite. Just the head breaches you and your breath hitches with a sharp little sound you can't swallow. He's thick enough that even after all this time the first push still feels like too much and exactly enough at once. Your nails dig reflexively into his shoulders almost drawing blood.
"There you go.â He growls biting his lip. "That's it sweetheart. Just like that just a little more."
You roll your hips in a tiny testing motion as another inch slides in. Your walls flutter hard around him and he groans low in his throat, the sound vibrating through his chest into yours.
"Fuck you're tight tonight.â He mutters, almost to himself. His right hand leaves his cock and settles on your ass but not grabbing just simply cupping, steadying. "Relax that pretty cunt for me. Let me in deep where I belong."
You whimper forehead dropping to rest against his. The words hit you harder than they should. You've always loved how filthy his mouth gets when he's turned on, but tonight it's softer, slower and almost reverent.
Another slow roll and he's halfway buried. You pause there, breathing against his lips, feeling every thick inch of him splitting you open. The pressure is exquisite almost borderline overwhelming never having felt him like this before. Your clit throbs against his pubic bone but you don't grind down yet, you want to savor this part. Joel's hand on your neck slides into your hair, cradling your skull.
"Look at me.â He whispers affectionately.
You lift your lashes. His pupils are blown wide, but the expression on his face is tender almost pained with how much he's holding back.
"You feel that?" He flexes his hips just enough to nudge deeper without thrusting. "That's all you, darlin'. Takin' me so fuckin' good. So wet I can hear it."
A mortified little sound escapes you. He smiles with a small, crooked and devastating look. Joel knows exactly what heâs doing to you.
"Don't hide from it.â He murmurs. "I love that sound. Love knowin' how much you want this cock."
You sink another inch on a shaky exhale. Now he's deep enough that the head is kissing your cervix with a dull, sweet ache that makes your thighs quiver. You pause again, panting softly against his mouth.
"Good girl.â He praises you his thumb stroking your cheekbone. "You're doin' so good for me."
The praise sinks into your bones like warm honey. You lift up just an inch and then sink back down much slower this time, letting yourself feel every ridge, every vein. Joel's head tips back against the headboard with a low, guttural groan.
"Christ yeah, just like that. Ride me nice and slow, baby. Let me feel every little twitch."
You start a steady rhythm then itâs not fast and itâs not frantic. Just deep deliberate rolls of your hips lifting until only the head remains inside, then sinking all the way back down until your ass meets his thighs and he's seated to the root. Each descent drags a soft, broken moan from your throat.
Joel's hands roam now up your sides, over your ribs, cupping your breasts and thumbing your nipples without hurry. He watches the way they pebble under his touch, watches your face flush darker, watches the way your lips part every time he bottoms out.
"Look how pretty you are sittin' on me.â His voice deep, low and rough. "Tits bouncin' just a little. Face all soft and fucked-out already. You love this, don't you? Love feelin' me stretch you open slow like this."
You nod frantically the words slipping from your mind. All you can do is lift, sink and repeat. Joel had you right where he wanted you. And he wished he could take a picture.
He slides one hand down between you, thumb finding your clit with practiced ease. He doesn't rub fast circles the way he does when he's trying to make you come quick. Instead he presses firm, steady pressure and lets your own rhythm grind you against the pad of his thumb.
"Feel that?" He groans with encouragement. "Every time you take me deep, your little clit gets kissed right here. Gonna come just from ridin' me, aren't you?"
The thought alone makes you clench hard around him. He hisses through his teeth knowing his words were getting to you.
"Fuck baby do that again. Squeeze me just like that. Let me feel how close you are." You bear down on the next descent, walls fluttering and gripping, and Joel's hips jerk up involuntarily. Just once before he reins himself back in.
"Sorry.â He rasps almost laughing at himself. "You feel too goddamn good. Almost lost it."
You shake your head, lips brushing his. "Don't hold back, wanna feel you lose it."
"Not yet.â He says as his eyes darken at your words. "Not till you come all over me first. Then I'll fill you up. Deep as I can get."
The promise makes your next roll stutter. You're climbing fast now too slow a syrupy pleasure gathering low in your belly, tightening with every drag of his cock against your front wall. Every press of his thumb against your clit Joel definitely feels it.
"That's it.â He coaxes with a teasing voice. "Right there. You're gettin' so tight, sweetheart. Gonna come for me? Gonna soak my cock while I'm buried all the way inside you?"
You nod frantic little jerks of your head. Tears of pleasure and not pain prick the corners of your eyes. He cups your face with both hands now, thumbs brushing away the dampness.
"Look at me when you come.â He says voice low and commanding in the gentlest way possible. "Wanna see your eyes when that pretty cunt comes all over me."
You lock gazes with him and the intimacy of it is almost too much. His face so close you can feel his breath mingling, your bodies joined so deep there's no telling where you end and he begins.
Your rhythm falters and you grind down hard, clit crushed against his thumb, cock pressed right against that spot inside that makes stars burst behind your eyelids.
"Joel, oh god.â His name leaves you like a sob.
"I've got you.â He whispers soothingly and in a comforting way. "Let go baby Iâm right here. Come on my cock. Let me feel it."
The orgasm rolls through you slow and devastating like thunder that takes forever to reach you and then shakes the whole sky. Your walls clamp down in long, pulsing waves. You cry out high, broken, and keep moving through it, riding him through every aftershock, drawing it out until you're trembling and oversensitive and still somehow greedy for more.
"Fuck Iâm gonna come.â He grits out through his teeth.
"Inside me please Joel.â You gasp without even thinking, and he honestly canât believe the words that came out of your mouth.
He growls low and feral and finally letting his hips snap up to meet yours. Once, twice and then he's grinding deep, holding you down by the hips as he empties inside you in thick hot pulses. You feel every twitch, every spurt, feel the way his cock kicks against your fluttering walls.
He buries his face in your neck, breathing hard, teeth grazing your skin without biting. You stay locked together for long minutes. Sweaty, trembling and your hearts beating in tandem. His arms come around you, pulling you flush against his chest so there's no space left between you. Eventually he kisses your temple, your cheek and then the corner of your mouth.
"Stay right here.â He mumbles against your lips. "Don't move yet, wanna feel you keep me warm a little longer."


